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Aug 5th, 2008 02:29 PM
Wyldflame I'd like to take a moment to THANK YOU for being one of the 5 other people in the world that realizes Jean Grey wasn't the Phoenix.
Jun 10th, 2008 01:38 AM
HowardC I just can't follow the stuff anymore, any of it. I'm also pretty sick and tired of "reboots" and "re-imaginings" (i.e. ultimates). How hard is it to simply sick to the backstory of the character and not do anything so drastic as to screw it up? If they want to bring people back from the dead then just write it in a believable manner and leave stuff like clones, skrulls, alternate realities and what-not out of it.

Didn't these writers learn anything from Bob Newhart? If it goes bad make the whole thing a dream sequence! How about Dragon Ball? Wish to the magic boogallo in the sky and your dead friend comes back! They are dirty tricks but they are certainly more preferable to convoluted multiple character variants that we have to pretend don't exist to keep our heads from exploding.

My theory:

All the heroes now are cloned skrulls. The skrulls were pretending to be the superheroes since the 40's but were recently eaten by the marvel zombies via a dimensional rift. Luckily the survivors had extensive cloning technology and samples of all the heroes, but unfortunately the skrulls of that dimension had killed and replaced the heroes years ago. Thus cloned skrulls. As for the real heroes, they are in dimension Z, just left of the Bizarro dimension, but none of that is going to matter because when the 369 dimensions merge it will cause a time-space paradox that'll make half of the stuff never happen anyway, unless it turns out to be unpopular, in which case it was a cloned dimension and not the real omniverse.
Jun 7th, 2008 11:59 AM
BlakeoPro After reading 'Ultimate Origins' I am now terrible afraid of its future. Im also surprised it took Bendis this long to put a Luke Cage in that continuity (the other one doesnt count) even if its Fury. I live for Max Burbank comic articles.
Jun 3rd, 2008 07:47 PM
Drunken_Lemur408 This is why I read the Ultimate universe. The clone saga was only slightly convoluted.
Jun 3rd, 2008 03:30 AM
Terrible-D I have to admit that I was actually excited for this story. I'm a lifelong marvel fan, and I had just returned to comics (after a brief hiatus)when New Avengers started up. I've read all the story arcs that tie into Secret Invasion, and I was pumped for it to start. But the first two issues of this series have been a let down. Honestly, who the fuck cares about Mockingbird? Hopefully as it moves along the dots will all get connected, and it will all make sense in the end. But knowing Quesada, it'll probably just be a convoluted mess that heralds the return of Uncle Ben (who was replaced by a skrull before the burgler shot him).
Jun 3rd, 2008 12:02 AM
Tetsu Deinonychus Max, please do address the problem in a "Hey Dork!" column. It's my favorite feature on the site.
Jun 2nd, 2008 09:34 PM
Nick I saw it coming a mile away.
Jun 2nd, 2008 08:26 PM
Protoclown I've got to agree, Max, though I don't think I'd rate this quite as low as you did. The first issue I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but after NOTHING WORTHWHILE AT ALL happened in the second issue, I am more than a little annoyed at this story. This has "clusterfuck" written all over it.
Jun 2nd, 2008 07:52 PM
Doctor_Who You know what I miss in Marvel stories these days? Crime fighting.

When is the last time you saw any of these guys stop a mugger, foil a bank robbery, etc? They do nothing but fight each other now and the occasional supervillain whose plans are never about stealing money or anything, just about fighting the good guys.

you know what I think? They are ALL Skrulls. The real superheroes have been off somewhere all this time helping cats out of trees and old women cross the street.
Jun 2nd, 2008 06:00 PM
mburbank That was funny.

I think what's going on with Marvel right now is an extreme case of something I may get around to writing a "Hey Dork" about someday if I have enough time.

It has to do with the problems of long form storytelling, where you have the same characters and an ongoing continuity. The longest form stories I can think of are soap operas, some of which have ongoing continuity dating back to pre television radio days. After soap operas come comic books, with Superman having the longest story, even though the story loops back and gets started again over and over, it still presents the challenges of the long form story.

Seen in one way, all Marvel is one longform story going back to the early days of the FF , spidey etc; or you can go one step further back to Nick Fury who came out of their war books, and some characters that made it out of their romance books OR go back to timely comics and Captain America et al. Any way you slice it, it's a loooooong story that's been written by a lot of writers who run the gamut from pretty darn good to astoundingly awful. The longer a long form story goes on, the harder it gets to do anything new and the more absurdly ornate the backstory becomes. Any writer is free to ignore whatever backstory elements they choose to, but they're still there.

Long story short, my theory is, the longer a longform story is, the better a writer you need to add to it and have it be anything but awful. Because you are either treading well trod ground, in which case you really need to have a new angle or be a very good writer; or you're trying to move the plot forward in which case you have to try to cope with an ever more absurd, clanky backstory. The longer the longform goes on, the harder it gets to tell, the more frequently it sucks.
Jun 2nd, 2008 05:16 PM
BurntToShreds Since you're talking about comic book death, I thought I should post this here:

X-Men: Death Becomes Them
Jun 2nd, 2008 10:12 AM
wobzire Why is this happening Max? Honestly tell me how this can be allowed.
Jun 2nd, 2008 09:27 AM
Goronian Sigh... One More Day anyone?
Jun 2nd, 2008 09:14 AM
pac-man Thanks for the heads up, Max. I only wait for graphic novel releases these days, because, let's face it, a lot of these arcs are shitty melodramas that would be better served by on a midday soap opera than in comic book. Looking forward to reviews on Grant Morrison's run with Batman.
Jun 2nd, 2008 08:58 AM
Alcibiades What ever happened to releasing comics that weren't an 'event' or a 'war' or a 'crisis'.

I mean, I remember just reading comics about a hero going doing things, now everythings a huge deal with everyone teamed up and the entire universe being turned on its head every other day, I'm getting pretty tired of that.
Jun 2nd, 2008 06:42 AM
Mac Brookman No, you're right, it's just another goddamn mess that will hopefully be forgotten within the next decade, maybe even sooner if it's that bad.
Jun 2nd, 2008 03:48 AM
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