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Aug 31st, 2011 05:03 PM
kahljorn a mystical steak knife with runic confetti glued onto it
Aug 31st, 2011 05:01 PM
10,000 Volt Ghost or you could make it about a battle mage and cut your time in half. but he might cut your neck in half too.
Aug 31st, 2011 04:42 PM
k0k0 I could definitely see you sitting in the living room at knife point making up a story about wizards and swords.
Aug 31st, 2011 04:39 PM
Grislygus WE HAD A STORYTELLING MOMENT, WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL

DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME?

I BROUGHT MISTER KNIFE TO HELP CONVINCE YOU
Aug 31st, 2011 04:34 PM
10,000 Volt Ghost You know he's going to show up at your house and be all like I'VE CROSSED OCEANS, LAND AND TIME TO REUNITE THE KONGREGATION.
Aug 31st, 2011 04:28 PM
Grislygus He keeps IM'ing me late at night over kongregate every time he sees me online with things like "So. Its been a while since we last talked"

I'm safe due to an ocean separating us, so it's funny
Aug 31st, 2011 11:53 AM
10,000 Volt Ghost http://www.theonion.com/articles/nov...ted-out,21193/
Aug 10th, 2011 11:29 AM
Colonel Flagg The moral of the story - be careful for what you wish: it may come true, and then you'll be well and truly hosed.
Aug 10th, 2011 07:22 AM
Pentegarn If anything there's a lesson here. That lesson would be: fuck talking to strangers
Aug 10th, 2011 03:11 AM
Grislygus That's not even close to all of it. I did everything... possible... to piss him off. HE JUST KEPT TELLING THE FUCKING STORY, HE WOULDN'T STOP WITH THE GODDAMNED STORYTELLING HE JUST WOULDN'T GET PISSED OFF I FAILED SO HARD
Aug 10th, 2011 03:08 AM
k0k0 Don't read it Chojin. It was an awful/boring story and it was probably more horrible to read than it was to create.
Aug 10th, 2011 02:56 AM
Chojin this is possibly the worst thread i've ever seen on this forum

i say possibly because i'm not going to read all that
Aug 10th, 2011 02:26 AM
Grislygus PART 6: A BUNCH OF BORING CRAP IS SKIPPED AND I JUST PUT THE TAIL END OF IT HERE

Quote:
To axlkoegoskyeg
:
shit, got cut off there. You still there?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Yep.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
When you arrive, it as at night, and you are right in the front of the trio...* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I let Marcus out of his headlock, covertly stealing his gun and whatever else was in his left pocket in the process.

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Draco was a tall men. REALLY tall men. Easily over 2 meter high. And he didnt lost much in bodybuild. He was covered with a metalic armor, filled with runes, and had a huge axe in his back.His face was full of scars. Truly the face of a warrior.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya couldnt me more different is she tried, thought. She was only 10 inches taller then Bill, what on that case, wasnt saiyng much. She wore a dark dress and dark mantles. She had a red hair, around Bills colors, and his same rather childish…* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Sorry: Where was it cut off? )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
She had a red hair, around Bills colors, and his same rather childish

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Overral, she seemed rather Bill sister then Dracos.* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
And the third person?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Gabriel was a men, average high, average weight, with some colorfull mantles around hin... But he seemed to somehow glow, depending on the light...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: You... I know you...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
I mean, I never saw this weird farmer, nor this cowboy guy before, but I definitively know YOU, Bill...* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"Really? I can't recall. One of those faces, I guess. Marcus, do you- Oh, you were talking about Bill."

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: Typically. The chosen always gets all the attention, doesnt he?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Oh man, do you remember when you tried to stab Bill in the eye and he punched you in the tit?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill: Hey, I got where I am fair and square. Why? Angry because you lost to a guy?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Funniest dinner party ever

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Well, remember when I tossed a knife at you?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Yeah, you kind of missed. You know I wasn't even invited to that?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: That is irrelevant. I am over this for a looong time ago,and we shouldnt revive old rivalities of the pa-* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
He wasn't even the one who spilled wine on you at all, that was me! Fun times.

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( All in the sudden, she dissapears... Only so that youcan suddenly realise you have a sword in your neck, and a warm breath, too. )* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: And that is why we shouldnt revive old rivalities...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Draco: Should we stop then/* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Gabriel: And miss all the fun? No way.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Anyway, may I know, what in the hell are you doing here?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"I shoot the man behind me with the gun I stole from Marcus. It's an awkward angle, but his femur is all kinds of shattered. I then point the gun at my own head."

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"I remember something about my bloodline being important."

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Men?Which men? )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
The person behind me, with the sword?

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
OH SHIT, I JUST SHOT THE CHICK

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Well, that was the plan, anyway. But, noticing your plan, she rapidly tosses you away and, with a movement of her sword, cuts the GUN in half. )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I drop the gun and look sheepish

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Lol, honestly, I thought you could have figured it all by the context... )* (reply)

grislygus
:
The guy was in my pocket! In order for that to occur, it would have had to have gone through my leg and hand

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
whoops

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
he guy was in my pocket! In order for that to occur, it would have had to have gone through my leg and hand

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
lol the other people in chat think I'm a raging maniac

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( No, I meant that she cut it when you TOOK it from your pocket... )* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
(... You DID took it from your pocket, didnt you? )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I never took it from my pocket! Reached in unnoticed, pointed it back at her, and pulled the trigger

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Shit sucks

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Oh.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Never mind, misunderstandment. PS: Amongst other stuffs, she is suppose to be really **** fast... * (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
She can heal that, right

axlkoegoskyeg
:
... Why did I typed that**** again?* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Well, luckily to you, yes...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( And fast, apparently. Right in the front of your eyes, the bullet starts being squiized out. And, when it DOES come out, the cut startsclosing. In a matter of 30 secound,she is fully healed. )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I drop the gun and look sheepish

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Note to myself: Kill you in the future.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Anyway, what in the hell did you intended to do here again?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"We're going to kill a guy who wants to eat my soul and damn you all to hell and slavery. That's good enough, right"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Right.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill: To be more accurate... How much do you know about Darkus?* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Gabriel: Only what the idiots of the Black Fang Clan told us before getting their ass kicked to death, or somethingclose of that...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill:Well, that is just great... In that case, his hiedout probably stays aroundaIllmaterian ruin, probably onewith tunnels to deeper in the underground, where he is originallyfrom...So, ifyoucould...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Well, of course we can, butright now,we are busy dealing with a despot powerfull enought to kill gods that intends to turn our dimmension into a dimmension of nightmare...* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"Well, I understand that. So you can just take this dagger and take care of it later, right? With Marcus instead of me?"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: STOP ASSUMING THAT I AM BADASS.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Wait, that dagger... Where did you found it?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"I'M NOT, I'M ASSUMING YOU'LL DIE"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: And that is the part where I say no thank you.* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"YOU WILL DO IT AND LIKE IT, MARCUS. It just showed up in my pocket right before a bunch of jackasses waded in and murdered everything on my farm"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Hmm... Intersting... Short meeting.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( She, Draco and Gabriel gave a few steps away and started mumbling something to eachother, and then Serpya goes back to you guys and says: )* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Ok, we will go, with one condition... You will have to defeat me in a swordfight...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill: Well, that is just greeeat...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: And, by you, I am talking to Gus here.* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"GOOD LUCK, BILL"

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"Wait, what?"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Yes, you. It is obvious that this dagger is somehow bound to you, or it wouldnt have appeared on your pocket that out of the blue... I am curious to know how far does that bound goes...* (reply)

grislygus
:
"I'M A FORTY SEVEN YEAR OLD FARMER! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CONDITION IS THAT?"

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
lol whoops "I'M A FORTY SEVEN YEAR OLD FARMER! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CONDITION IS THAT?"

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"You just want my knife!"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Of course not.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: Just a question: If we were strong enought to defeat you, hmm, how do I explain this... WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE NEED YOUR HELP?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg:
:
"Moron has a point! You're just a sadist who wants to beat up an innocent old man!"

Kong Bot
:
axlkoegoskyeg: cannot be reached. Please try again later.

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: ... Let us say, you will know what I am talking about. Very soonly.* (reply)


And, no. Sorry guys, I couldn't possibly take any more of this shit and just logged out. There's no way in hell I'm going to answer any more messages from this kid, either.

Also, I bullshitted my age as 26 on my kongregate profile. If this kid IS sixteen, why the hell did he specifically look me up and ask to tell me stories when I'm supposed to be 26? And if he isn't sixteen, CHRIS HANSEN WANTED TO TELL ME ALL ABOUT ELVES AND MAGICIANS
Aug 10th, 2011 02:12 AM
Nick I was certain at the beginning he was trying to get all erotic with you, gus.
Aug 10th, 2011 12:00 AM
Grislygus WHEN I'M NOT AT SCHOOL, WORK, OR WITH FRIENDS?

DRAWING AND DOING JACK SHIT NOTHING
Aug 9th, 2011 11:53 PM
Sam GUS WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE, MAN?
Aug 9th, 2011 11:44 PM
10,000 Volt Ghost DAMN MY USELESS MANSLUTNESS. YOU SHOULD HAVE USED THE PLOW HANDLE SOONER.
Aug 9th, 2011 08:25 PM
k0k0 I think that question about slaves in the beginning was to get you caught into a slave's embrace with him. One in which you were the willing slave of his narrative anti-powers.
Aug 9th, 2011 07:49 PM
Grislygus YOU'RE SUCH A LOVABLE MANSLUT, BILL
Aug 9th, 2011 07:47 PM
Grislygus PART FIVE: THE TALKING CONTINUES
AKA FARMERGUS HAS AN ANGER PROBLEM AND I SWEAR TO GOD MARCUS KEEP YOUR WHORE MOUTH SHUT


Quote:
axlkoegoskyeg: ( He always had that light appearence on hin, but since he became the chosen of tghe God of Wind, Auril, this wa quite amplified... His skin is so clearly white, it is almost translucid( if this even makes sense ), and while being very short( Not… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (Again: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: -this even makes sense ), and while being very short( Not…

axlkoegoskyeg: Not higher then 1.60 ), his dragonfly-like eyes still somehow manage to look to your face from above... He also has two, bird wings,each one bigger then the rest ofhis body,andvery long, white as snow hair... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill:... If are you here...And considering the dead body out there... I am late, am I not? (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ... I know I should have been carefull when fliyng around that ink factory, and now, I have white ink all over me. Goddammit. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: That explains a lot... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "DAMNIT, BILL!" I ignore the acolytes enraged that I didn't address him as "Lord Tenkay". "I have to hire new people now! All I have left is this idiot!" I gesture at Marcus

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Hey. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I then ignore Marcus when he protests that he doesn't work for me

To axlkoegoskyeg: I look at him. "Oh, and since they're after me, they'll be after you, too. I'd stick around with us if I was in your shoes"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Wait, calm down, I was GOING there, you know... But then, well,,, I dunno, I usually never ger late, but I did this one time... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Besides... Are you insunuating I cant defend myself? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "What the hell are you talking about? My poor schmuck FARMERS can't defend themselves!"

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Anyway, good to see you, buddy"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Nice to see you, too... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I toss the dagger to him. Here, have this. Figure out what to do with it, will you?

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Mmmhmm,intersting... Well, the God of Wind isnt part of the Nine, and in fact, it is a relatively new cult around these band, ya know... However... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Judging by the patterns of the runes, I would say: This dagger was probably used to seal the prison of some sort of powerfull demon... Part of its essence lies within it... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Now, youmust be wondering, who in the hell is Darkus and why in the hell he chosen to attack YOU, of all people... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "That would be a big yes, right there. You know I don't go messing with politics and hellspawned nightmares from beyond time and space. Bad for business

axlkoegoskyeg: Well, first of all, how much do you know about the Illmaterian Empire? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Nothing. I just know my horses."

To axlkoegoskyeg: And stealing. And bullying. And manipulating, tricking, bamboozling, and men.

axlkoegoskyeg: And that is why I like you. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Basically, they were a brutal magocracy which was around before the times of the Nine. Non casters were reduced to slavedery, and targets of all types of... Experiments. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: There are also the drow. Such as hin... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Ahh, the drow. A annoiyng clerical race that worships some kind of dark godness... And likes to kidnapo surfacers to serve then as slaves in the underground... I can see where Darkus got that habit from... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Sadly, thought, it gets much, much worst. You see, the Drows are a female teocracy composed of 12 ancient priestessess, being that the leader, and main one, the chosen oftheir dark godness, Lolth... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "FEMALES? BLASPHEMY"

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Well, if I know anything about woman, that guy was now matriarch. Not in the feminine, anyway. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Oh, and this is where my favourite part comes. He isnt a matriarch. He is much, much worst. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg:: "Wai, whu- Shut up, Marcus. Worse than a matriarch? With womanly bits?!!"

Kong Bot: axlkoegoskyeg: cannot be reached. Please try again later.

To axlkoegoskyeg:: NOOOOOOOOOOO. WE'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN A VAGINA WITH POWER

axlkoegoskyeg: He was hardly the first drow mage who tried to unleash the secrets of the Illmaterian. But he is currently showinmg hinself dangerously close of sucess... One by one, he challanged all the matriarchs to duels... They all were humiliated, and had… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Sorry: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)
To axlkoegoskyeg: One by one, he challanged all the matriarchs to duels... They all were humiliated, and had…

To axlkoegoskyeg: Farmer Gus nodded approvingly at that bit, btw
axlkoegoskyeg: most of their power stripped from then... Making hin now officially the worst ofthe drow... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Doesn't seem too bad to ME. My farm's wrecked, anyway. Any employment opportunities with this guy? Level with me, Bill."

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: You should probably start taking things more seriously, considering how hw was the responsable for the wreckingof your farm. And I am not sure if,without the dagger, you two are powerfull enought to even deserve to be enslaved. He will… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (Once more: Wherewas I cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: you two are powerfull enought to even deserve to be enslaved. He will-

axlkoegoskyeg: probably just devourt your souls. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Me however( proud smile ) probably can expect a eternity of servidon under constant threat of death and other punishments, some of then even worst. After all, I am too mighty to be wasted away like that, and... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcos: Does he always boast that way? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Shut up, Marcus. Bill, you know more than anybody how many people have tried to devour my soul. What is this, the seventh time? This world hates Farmers!"

To axlkoegoskyeg: "The main question is, how is Marcus supposed to kill this guy?"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Hey, just kidding. I think I may or may not have tried once for lolz, but you know I wasnt serious back then... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "DON'T EVEN JOKE! I WAS VULNERABLE AND THAT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION IS FOREVER IN THE PAST!"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: AS for how in the hell do we kill this guy, well, I am not sure if you can do it alone... Even me, well, he already beaten a Chosen, and Lolth is suppose to be more powerfull then Auril... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "I didn't say WE, I said MARCUS."

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Wait, me? Why in the hell... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "You're a cowboy, I'm a farmer. Do the math."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "I'LL JUST SMITE HIM WITH MY MIGHTY PLOW HANDLE!"

axlkoegoskyeg: I might be a cowboy, but I am not a demigod.,Right, Billy? (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Billy: i just said I cant do it on my own. Also, I am not a demigod, but a chosen. People keep confusing that. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "yeah, MARCUS."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Okay, alright. Since Mister I-Have-A-Gun-That-I'm-Scared-Of obviously can't do the job alone, how do we help him do it?"

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Why you think that just because I have a gun I am suddenly invencible? Look: (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( He shoots at Billy, who, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, simply turns into a cloud, let it pass throught, and goes back to human form ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: See? Against this degree of people, they are worthless. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "..."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "SHUT UP, MARCUS."

axlkoegoskyeg: Billy: Well, I have a idea... I am not sure ifyou will really like it, thought... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "If it involves my face being eaten by Azathoth, then no, I don't like it."

axlkoegoskyeg: By coincidence, somewhere around the south, there are three quite powerfull people traveling... Who could be able to give us all a hell of a hand... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Billy:Actually, just your eyes, but it isnt about that. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: : "...Good to know, Bill."
Aug 9th, 2011 07:44 PM
Sam What is this I don't even
Aug 9th, 2011 07:39 PM
Fathom Zero I bet he's a paraplegic.
Aug 9th, 2011 07:26 PM
Grislygus Why the hell is this sixteen year old randomly propositioning people with narratives, anyway
Aug 9th, 2011 07:26 PM
Grislygus If this keeps going until I'm supposed to leave for work, I'm going to have Farmergus test his theory that everyone else in the world is actually a ghost and won't be harmed by if HE stabs them
Aug 9th, 2011 07:17 PM
Fathom Zero They can't all be winners, Gus.
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