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Feb 11th, 2004 07:46 PM
Matt Harty BECAUSE WE'RE ALL TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY
Feb 11th, 2004 07:33 PM
Mr. Vagiclean



We will just assume breathing also isn't a necessity for the girls while you give em sex
Feb 11th, 2004 07:30 PM
Schimid Yeah, because girls don't have noses.
Feb 11th, 2004 07:22 PM
Mr. Vagiclean The sixth and the seventh hole is only available when you pluck those unnecessary eyes out. She will only use em to make you feel you are being watched anyways :/ who needs to be watched during sex?
Feb 11th, 2004 07:15 PM
Esuohlim EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT SEX:

You have to make sure that she's female first. You can read about it in my "EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT WOMEN" article on the Internet.

The inside of condoms are greasy and they're GORSS . Plus, if you have sex without the intention of making babies then it is considered a sin by both the Catholic Church and the Discovery Health Channel, so you're better off not using one anyway.

If you see hair between her legs then it is an obvious sign that she's trying to grow it to make a barrier around her vagina (THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED. I HOPE YOU'RE WRITING ALL THIS DOWN). What you have to do in this situation is make a surprise attack so that she doesn't catch on. A good way to do this is to wait in the bathroom until she comes in and then go for it.

For a change of pace, try finding all the holes in her body and see how many your cock can fit into. It should be at least seven.

You aren't really supposed to wear clothes during a session (I KNOW, GROSS RIGHT? ), but I heard it's fun for you to take off all your clothes and have her leave everything on, and put a radiation suit on as well. It's fun, and sexy to boot!

HOPE THIS HELPS.
Feb 11th, 2004 07:06 PM
Big McLargehuge I asked a question over a month ago, i want it answered.
Feb 11th, 2004 06:23 PM
Mr. Vagiclean Survival
Feb 11th, 2004 05:28 PM
CaptainBubba WHAT IS SEX?
Feb 11th, 2004 04:31 PM
Ghost of Fraiser ok SMN, wanna play a game of Sex Chess?
Feb 11th, 2004 08:50 AM
SMN Heres some advice. Plan it out! Have a "Sexual Strategy", and then go to work. Good luck
Feb 11th, 2004 08:40 AM
Terra I did that too with an old BF.

We got to the point that we just sent spitwads to each other across the classroom.

Safest sex I ever had until he almost put my eye out with one well lobbed spitwad.
Feb 11th, 2004 04:15 AM
ItalianStereotype I don't have sex anymore because I respect my body. now we just wave at each other from across the room! :o
Feb 11th, 2004 04:01 AM
Ghost of Fraiser foaming and hissing, are you sure you just didnt drop a tab of alka seltzer in there?
Feb 11th, 2004 02:57 AM
Anonymous Condoms kinda suck bad. When I have to use a temporary contraceptive, I use a VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film). You fold it up, drive it home, then wait 15 minutes for the hole to start foaming and hissing. That's when you dive on in!
Feb 10th, 2004 11:28 PM
theapportioner You might want to consider a scrotum/groin condom too. 25% of sexually active Americans have genital herpes, and 75% of sexually active adults will get genital warts sometime in their lives!!!
Feb 10th, 2004 11:20 PM
executioneer
Quote:
wear your rubbers
THIS IS BAD ADVICE YOU WONT ENJOY IT IF YOU WEAR MORE THAN ONE

-willie
Feb 10th, 2004 11:15 PM
theapportioner Also, when she's not expecting it, stick it up her butt. Girls love that shit!!
Feb 10th, 2004 11:09 PM
theapportioner Just go to your neighborhood red light district and pick up a dozen or so hookers, you'll be a sexpert in no time :thumbsup

PS - avoid the junkies and wear your rubbers!!
Feb 10th, 2004 11:01 PM
Terra
Quote:
Originally Posted by AChimp
No he won't, because I heard that people have to make sex in the DARK.
Night goggles always help in this case. Plus it's erotic.
Feb 10th, 2004 10:12 PM
Karl Hungus
Quote:
No he won't, because I heard that people have to make sex in the DARK.
My life wasn't complete until I read that, thank you sir. I may now die happy
Feb 10th, 2004 09:58 PM
AChimp No he won't, because I heard that people have to make sex in the DARK.
Feb 10th, 2004 09:23 PM
Terra Believe me, all the fumbling in the world isn't going to prevent you from reaching your eventual goal with her. Just follow your instincts and her prompts (even if she's a virgin too, she'll have an idea of what goes where).

You don't need to know CPR and you won't get lost up in her body cavity. It's called "plumbing" and it all fits together really well.

You'll see.
Feb 10th, 2004 09:07 PM
CaptainBubba Cmon guys. I really have to have this info. I need it. I might have to have sex soon.

What do I do if I accidentally go in her stomache and hit her insides? Do girls like that? Should I make noise? Should I know CPR? Do I have to wear a tie? I'm clueless. Just lay everything about sex on me.

Especially those of you who've donw it before. And don't skimp on talking about how you've done it before. Go off on a tangent and talk about the experience if you want. In detail. Especially the part where you say something really witty that "seals the deal" right ladies?

Thanks for the advice so far. It'll really help when the time comes I think.
Feb 2nd, 2004 12:04 PM
rainbowbrite Terra's right

SHE'S MY HERO
Feb 2nd, 2004 08:05 AM
Terra Man, don't have sex just because it's expected of you. If both of you are into it, she'll be wet enough and you'll be able to do her just fine. Plus, you'll have an idea where things fit once you *really* get into it with her.

Yeah, sometimes it's uncomfortable the next day (so I've been told) but my understanding is that it isn't like getting your nads kicked so don't worry. The girl is just as uncomfortable the next day too. But all that does is make you think of more sex so how bad can *that* be?

I *still* get a little sore the next day but it's been a while between guys. If it was a regular thing, it might be a different story.

Oh. And wear a rubber like the others said.

Good luck.

Tara
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