Dear Willie,
What can I do to make myself get up earlier in the morning, without having to take more chemicals than I already do?

sam told me to tell you that he could wake you up early in the morning ;(

I've had more than Sam tell me that.

If I'm alone in a morning....

drink a glass of water (or two or three) before you go to bed!

(not recommended for bladder problems)

Rockin' avatar :0

THANK YOU BUT THAT ISNT A QUESTION

William,

If ZQ takes a jab at me for no reason, does that mean she like likes me?

Go to hell. I called drunk Dibs on ZQ.

As my name is William I feel qualified to answer that.

i guess it depends on if it was a friendly jab or not!

dOES MY KNEE HURT?

um if you can't tell if your knee hurts or not i think you got bigger problems than your knee hurting :(

Lord Wille,
I beseech you!
Where did I put my wallet?

under the bed?

Willie,

Why are I not intoxicated beyond belief after returning home from the parade?

because jonathan frakes wasn't there

It wasn't there.
:(

Willie,

Our neighbors are constantly tossing their cigarette butts over into our driveway, where they roll and accumulate in drifts against the grass. I'm tired of going out and picking up their nasty-ass cigarette butts when there will always be more the next day. What should I do about this?

report them for littering it'd be hilarious :(

go tell them to stop :(

burn their house down while they're asleep it'll look like they were smoking in bed

it's a duplex :(

get a leaf blower and leafblow them back onto their side

What is the minimum clearence for bridges along the Erie canal?

50% off

I would sweep them up into a dust pan then dump them in their mailbox, open car window, open house window or maybe just on their front porch.