In reality, I think I am more the adult diaper adjacent to your anus.

....
 

Carnivore I would love to mention the fact that you indeed wanted to meet me, as well as half of the 'old school' mockers did. Ive kept in touch with a few of them, weither it be on here or on the phone. Everybody used to get along at one point or another, now it just seems the board has gone to shit and is one of the reasons I dont post on here anymore.

Sure you can say that iM a waste of bandwhith, but there were a few post way back when we did stick up for each other, a year ago, yes, ive been on this board for almost 2 years now. So get over it allready.

Chojin changed for the better I belive, he stopped careing what everyone though of him and did his own thing, which I extremly admire in him. As much as I admire in Noob and blackflag for doing their own thing and not careing what pretensiouse assholes like you would think. You may be 'cool' outside the board, but you need to grow up inside of it. Your post are getting worse by the second and your comments to everybody else, take off the mask. Your just as big of a whine ass as most of these people on here.


But I guess we all cant be cool emt's and work 90 hours a week and talk about all the dead people we encounter.

You know, I found this thread thoroughly amusing even though I didn't recognize the majority of those whom posted in it. . .

There used to be a chick who would argue with R. Raygun maybe two, three years ago, when I was lurking before I started posting. I liked her, but I can't remember her name. I would nominate her as the person who doesn't post enough.

For Christ's sake, Lenor! Could you not let this thread just die? I swear I hate you more each day!

I'm so happy that you like how Chojin, Noob, and Black Flag don't care what other people think of them. To thine own self be true. Better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. Do you think I care that the fucktards that contaminate these boards hate me for ripping into them? I don't fucking pander to the idiot masses here to get popular. Do you respect me for being myself despite the opposition?

As for your assertion that I'm pretentious....

I like coffee,
I like tea
I like Carni on I-mockery
I like Lenor and chojin and me
and everyone can be the way they be.


HEY FUCKERS! LIGHTEN UP! I HATE YOU ALL VERY, VERY MUCH AND I HOPE YOU HAVE BAD DREAMS AND WET YOURSELVES A LOT!!

This board is just this board. I am so serious. Chomp my bag already okay? The best offense is to be offensive.

Any of you who take anything that happens (ie is written) here seriously in any way shape or form have forgotten that this is I-Mockery and not I-serious or I-real or I-truth. And this board was WAY better when people remeberbered that, back in the good old days before the person who's reading this right now fucked it all to hell and back.

SO THANKS FOR RUINING THIS THREAD, TARD CHUNKY!

Coffee SUCKS. >:

First of all, no, and second, if it sucked as well as being a delicious revitalizing beverage, it would be just bout perfect and I could get that divorce the wifes been begging for!

I can't blame your wife. I cannot imagine how much she has to put up with you. I wouldn't even last 5 minutes with you.

I SIT CORRECTED. >:

Dude, no one talks to Max Burbank like that!
Luckly we're on the internet, where eveyine has a voice, but nothing you say really matters. So say what ever you want. I heart Everyone on this board today... I am a Badger!

This is a picture of me hating Lenor... with a Ninja Turtle pop.

...
 

Still ugly as all hell..

He's cuter than me!

This is a picture of me contemplating the depths of my hatred for Lenor while on a Viking longboat.

...
 

max nobody is cuter then you ;)


I love the hatred, so lovely!

And nobody is a bigger waste of space than you. Don't make me post more pictures of me hating you when I get back. I have dozens.

If it makes you feel any better, I hate you...and nice goatee.

carni has a cool face.

Carni's pics make me wish I was gay.

yeh rite you just want an exucse to suck cock faget

You need an excuse? :blowme

go join the fat party

*edit i meant fag party

I always assumed Carni's overstated hatred for Lenor was rooted in no real emotion greater than boredom.

i think max should take back that part about how he is funnier than me and then called us all assholes or somethings.

CAUSE IT HURT ME IN MY SALTY PARTS.

STOP BEING A GAY HOMO POONTANT, GEORGE!



During the late eighties when I was doing three or more Improv shows a week (and having no idea that this was the abslute height of my 'career') I regularly introduced myself from the stage as "Max Burbank, The Funniest Guy Alive."

I thought it was funny to tell people what they had to think of me before doing anything at all.

I'm not sure anyone in the audience understood I was experimenting with meta comedy and I can't think of any reason why they would have. But I'm all about the theory now and I was all about the theory then.

Which probably explains why my car is still not paid for snd have the time and inclination to write crappy little comedy pieces for the friggin' internet.

full on
 

ok,
so i stray into this weird little site and read through this thread- thinking that 'awards' nominees would give m an idea of what the sight is about and so far I have mre questions than before i started reading...
'what is a poontant and is the man who keeps using the word insane?

did chojin and Carnivore date or something? that's some lovers's tiff going on there.

and not so much a question but an impression that you are all a bunch of mentalists.

Thanks for ruining this thread, poontant.

i get it.
you lot are all arguing about who is the best because they have been here longest and i am really new so you are not going to acknowledge anything i say.
well that seems a bit of a lame approach.
you are all bemoaning the loss of quality people from the board, why don't you try and encourage new quality.
you sound like a bunch of old timers moaning incesantly about the younger generation. why don't you just go down to the old folks home and get your kicks there. you will fit right in. right down to the smell of urine and groping the young nurses.

funny, i read through your little rule book and it seemed to suggest that i would find lively discussion on these boards not puerile drivel.
maybe all those people who used to post here 'back in the day' left for a good reason.

*nudge* Hey guys, he doesn't "get it"







Like i am one of the guys :rolleyes

oh i get it.
I get that this is a 'mockery'.
the sight looks good, it promises things like a 'mock war' and yet all i get is one liners that my cat could spit up.
where is the hate kids.
jeez, maybe i was wrong, at least old farts have some bile.

Start a thread saying "Hi, I'm new!" and you'll see the hate. ;)

Oh God, shut up. If you don't like the board leave. Enough with your "puerile drivel."

Kevin. i didn't say i didn't like it. i was responding to the malaise you board members seem to have. or maybe its another case of 'shut up newbie. only us old folk are allowed to criticise the board.'

what was so great about it before anyway? i bet all you did then was bicker and moan but perhaps with a few fancy words thrown in.
whenever a 'scene' of anysort is created, whether its kids united through a musical style, a love of comic books or just simple computer nerds there will always be some people who will hark back to when it used to be so much better. Its a way of validating the ego, of claiming authenticity of saying 'fuck you i was here first- get to the back of the line new kid.'
i mean how many times have you mentioned a band you like to someone only for some annoying twat to say 'yeah well ofcourse they were much better befroe they signed to a major'.

what happened to offering a step ladder down to the people who are drowning in a sea of boredom?

It's an internet message board. You shouldn't rely so heavily on it for your kicks.

If it's boring, then leave. If it used to be better, make it better, or leave.

So yeah, shut up newbie. >:

It's not the site's job to entertain you. It's your job to add some entertainment, or at least try to and fail (like me and Big Papa Goat).

but if no one engages with each other outside of one liners how can there be the sparkling debate i desire. if i have to provide all the juice then maybe i should go back to debating 'Satans role in Milton's epic poem 'Paradise Lost'. But I just wanted not to have to talk to myself for a while.

it seems my joke in the other thread about poo seems to be the level you operate on here- but that is what the older board members seem to criticise and yet where are they when they have a chance to say something else. it is perhaps a delightful paradox.
[/quote]

Sparkling debate.

I nominate baxter building for the clueless whiner award, and myself for the needs to get a real life award.

crikey this is harder than i thought.
I question the motivation of some people on the board who are slagging it off and I am the whiner?

but as an outsider I suppose I havent earned the right to criticise it. and so I stick at it, pumping away like an obese man on a dead hooker and still I get nowhere.

come on, I am sure ther's life in the old hooker yet.

You stupid cunt. Your pseudo-intellectualism isn't fooling anyone.

If you want to debate the rise and fall of Lenin, either start a topic on it in the philosophy forum or go elsewhere.

Well, blimey! I mean I'm very, very smart, and I think about the things we smart people tend to think about, but cor! I mean, I know I'm an outsider with a tremendously witty comic book refernce user name that I'm quite put out you didn't all immediately make note of and think marvelous, but slag me off a whingey poo fest!

I mean, chips, mate! Lorry! Lift! Wassat you blokes call a rubber then? An 'ee-ray-ser'? Well now. I'm waiting. By now you surely recognize how wonderful I am.

I mean, s'truth, I doubt I'd recognize a bit of the old irony if took off me bowler and shoved me brolly up me arse! Come on! Baxter Building? Baxter building? I'm brilliant right? Bluh-dee-hell I am if I'm not! Drop right into the convo, dun' I? Instant exceptance 'coz I'm brilliant, right? I mean, I'm not just some pretentious little bit of shag dribblings, I mean Baxter building, right, Baxter building? I'll tell you what all, you need to love me right away or I shall be very cross.

ok. so you are all very defensive of your board. thats got to be a good sign. but you are all so quick to leap on the outsider that no one has answered my orginal point which is :
why are some of you fighting about 'how good it used to be' and in one case 'how good you used to be'. or is that really it? the answer to my question is that you all just like fighting.
If that is the answer than i must say that I do quite enjoy it myself.
and i am not trying to be clever. i am clever. maybe not in your computer nerdcore sort of way but i think theres enough of you aorund for that.
still, i think i will take a wander to the philosophy forum, although i hold out little hope of find enlightenment there.

pip pip old boy.

I liked you more in the old days like 6 or 7 posts ago.

Hi, I nominate Holly for the 2qt stylin' and profilin' award. Do I see a raise of hands in opposition? Oh, none. Thanks kneegrows~!~@~

Please don't. Just leave before the boredom kills you. It will be a better choice for you. really, I'm just thinking of your best interests.

And the reason it used to be better, is you used to not post.

Of course newbies don't realize that we just went through a week of like fifteen different "The old days were better!" threads, all of which were sarcastic. :rolleyes

y'know, baxter, they make pills for that sorta shit nowadays.

Being British?

Ahoy Baxter!

All that talk about things being better was done in irony and meant to make fun of people who do things like that!

The fact is, This board never used to be good, it was always very bad!

Anyway, enjoy the boards! I hope you stay a while!

You all aren't helping. >: :irony

No one will answer your 'point', elitist holier than thou tea bag, becuase you can't answer somone's point. You answer questions, you adress points. I'd have thought a smarty pants like you would write better.

It was all just for laughs, all right, Lord Sir Jump-in-the-middle; Admittedly a huge shocker at a place called I-mockery. I know it's not in your colonial sun never sets attituide to actually absord the local culture before pontificating like a zepplin with a leak, but if you can't stand the heat, get out of India.

The only thing worse than being clever is feeling you need to tell people you are clever, Mr. Clever.

When you wander over to Philosiphy, try buttering your head. You might be able to squeeze it through the door.

Oh, and if you're british, I'm the queen. Revolting, bepimpled, Monty Python Memorizing, overweight, friendless, parents basement dwelling, New Jersey comuter college student seems more like it.

Now, please, take this to heart, be very serious in assesing it and get all huffy that we didn't all roll on our backs and wet ourselves in puppy like submission at the sheer brilliance of your magnificent entry to these boards.

now that's all i was after. someone that took the time to vent a little. doesn't it feel better. aren't the rest of you now reading that post by fantastic Max and think; 'yeah, you tell him Max'.
Vicarious living is great fun, but come on kids dig in.
Maybe I have been a little unfair, you haven't got much to go on after all. You can only assume that a might be British and i something of a comic book fan.
what if I let you into a little secret.


ready, its a shocker.
i don't have a dick. its true, i was born a 'no tail'. Tragic I know but I lived for 29 years with this appalling state and i am finally coming to terms with it. see, everywhere you go, even on the so called 'liberating' web where you can be who you want to be people still assume you a piece of flesh dangling between your legs.
well, only one of you got it right,
whoever it was who oh so eloquently called me a cunt.

While I enjoyed "Gentlemen", your oblique reference only confirms everything I've already gathered. I concede for the sake of argument that you might actually be british and in the same sense your alleged womanhood.

You think you're funnier and smarter than you are, you desire negative attention and seek to define yourself through oppositional behavior, Your ready, even eager to judge yourself superior based on a cursery reading of a few posts, utterly ignoring the fact that anyone who can write at all can change the way they come across at will.

Shut up more often, try participating in conversation, soak up the local culture, ease in instead of instantly setting yourself up and begging for approval, which by the way there are better ways to get than being a weiner, wether you have one or not.

"pontificating like a zepplin with a leak" :lol :bestthread

the game is afoot.
I feel like a drawn out the ace in a pack of cards by engaging Max.
and you are quite right, good writers can totally change the way they come across-take on a different personality if you will. One moment i might be Gideon Stargrave, the next king Mob. i like to tailor my responses to the audience/competition.
however since I am engaged in what i believe is called a beat down than I have little option to come out fighting.

You know, it's called a beat down because it's about you getting beat down. Otherwise it would be called a "fair fight".

but for you honey its called a 'beat off' as you press your strange little cock up to the screen and think about all mockers you would love to stick it to.

That post gives me the impression of the cocky bigheaded grad student giving up the keyboard to an annoying 13 year old. Can't you find some happy medium?

as i said in another post, I tailor my material to the audience.

One sleeve is too long, the collar is choking me, and the buttons don't match up with the holes. You suck as a tailor; I want my refund.

Every person from England that has landed on this site gives me a head ache. >: I think that the British have some brilliant crime and drama's but nothing funny has been going on for a very long time (Mr.bean is somewhat amusing :/ )

omg.

it's cherry. :eek

not really...

but MAYBE :eek

Max liked her for some reason so I won't say anything (pop).

"nothing funny has been going on for a very long time (Mr.bean is somewhat amusing )"

-Jesus, if Mr bean is funny to you you dont deserve our decent comedy (eg Brass Eye, Jam/Blue Jam, Partridge, Bo Selecta etc etc)

Can I get a rewind...

When I say Bo , say selecta !

BO !



and Dole dont forget about Peter kay's Pheonix Nights , The Office , have I got news for you , Steve Coogan in general etc.

And Benny Hill, Dole. And Benny Hill.

Don't get to self congratulatory, there, Jax. Oh, hell, go ahead. It's the only congratulations you're going to get. There are only two reasosn I pick on somebody right when they show up. They have to be either a complete evil fuck or someone completely in love with themselves who's every post proves just how little there is to love. My favored punching bag is both, but he's tking a little time off for group therapy. It's a small group, him and six therapists.

"Oh, Oh, I'm so brilliant in one instant I could be one cheap ass pop reference and in another I could be a completely different cheap ass pop reference, and all I have to do is make the reference!"

You're just another A-hole who thinks they're avante garde 'cause they could REALLY appreciatte Douglass Adams and their comics are all silver age back issues or Vertigo. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, but liking them doesn't make you all strange and wonderful and mysterious and if you were all strange and wonderful and mysterious you'd stop clearing your throat, pointing at yourself and say "Aren't I all strange and wonderful and mysterious?" Stop being such a stale, windy hosebag nd try just participating.

Yes! Be a maxi-pad ... with wings for extra absorbency. :)

I tried one of the brands with wings. My ass migrated south for the winter.