Leave it to the self-proclaimed intellectual to not figure out that anyone who can't afford to buy a costume from a store can probably still make a much better one more cheaply at home, thus making lack of money an awfully stupid reason for any child to miss out on Halloween.

And if the issue of poverty concerns you, maybe you should take that money you're planning to spend on a new bong or a bottle of absinthe and, I dunno, give it to someone who needs it?

You could always dress up like a beggar and ask for food stamps.

Our college can't celebrate Chanukah because it offends Nazis. :tear