zhukov you can visit and party with me any time, i can show you that the big city isn't scary and you can keep me from staggering into traffic

and then i can use your foreign accent and bewildered ways to land us a couple of fat titted platinum blonde forty year olds with black eyebrows and heavy makeup in a dive bar :hifive

actually, no, scratch that, we'll land a couple of impressionable twenty year olds in a club by telling them you're an English fashion photographer

if they can't tell the difference between an australian and a british accent they deserve whatever they get.

I have a hard time telling a NZ accent from SA though :(

LIKE A HARD D

Here's a winner:

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cr...-3-793890.html

"I took care of my kids when I was young. It's my turn to party now."

"You know mothering is just not for everyone."

I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW that i have it on good authority that Zhukov is a softspoken, rakish intellectual and that I am 100% grade A prime beefcake and that they do NOT deserve the greatness that they will get

unless zhulov lets me down as a wingman but THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN I'M SURE, THE GUY'S GOOD PEOPLE

GAH jesus, that woman looks wiggy as hell

so whatcha drinkin' tonight, grislygus?

I had a rum-melon tonight.

nothing tonight, i'm doing a long drive at seven in the morning

It might even be too hot to drink tonight >(

courrse, last night was a six pack of fat tires during the day, followed by screwdrivers and goldschlager later on that night with the guys

I wish that alcohol didn't fuck with me so much these days. Not in a drunk sense, but in a neurological sense. Because a glass of something or another would be nice every once in a while :(

neurological? that sucks, at least you can drink o'douls and get depressed over what you used to be able to enjoy

'course, teetotaling is a LOT fucking cheaper, my whiskey collection is like $450 worth

and that does NOT include the likes of jack, wild turkey, bushmills, makers mark and jameson, which i go through a lot goddamn quicker

Oh well, I'll just have to be Designated Responsible Person some more, I'm good at that :martyr

If i had a buddy like you my road trips would be less dangerous as hell, i think

Except I don't drive. So they may not be as dangerous but they'd be way more of a pain in the ass.

i'm a loud, roaring guy while sober so i have loud, roaring friends who remain loud and roaring while shitfaced. i, however, get quiet and need people to point me in a direction and help me walk, which is not a good thing while walking around with loud, roaring drunks, cars do not enter the equation

i need to find a somewhat tolerable, geeky guy who doesn't have many friends and start regularly inviting him to drinking rampages because he would be an inexperienced social drinker, afraid to get TOO drunk and feel pathetically obligated to try and watch out for his newfound stupid drunk friends

Sounds like that's a good thing.

I went to see an Eagles tribute band tonight because it was free. The city made a big deal about hiring a REALLY POPULAR BAND FROM CANADA, except the stage was a flatbed truck that was all folded out like a shitty Transformer and I watched the REALLY POPULAR BAND FROM CANADA putting on identical black trenchcoat-y things.

The concert got rained out but that was ok because it wasn't looking interesting and the band members kept getting distracted by the sign language lady on one side of the stage.

You already know who it is.

get a little alcohol in GW and he'll start going on about drugs and music, are you sure you want that?

god, they have a website.

Hey guys, it's the REALLY POPULAR BAND FROM CANADA.

http://www.hotelcal.com/index.php

edit: perhaps I'm seeing this wrong, but aren't they from California? Could the perennial events-arranger have mistaken the CA?