It varies on where my mind's at in waking life, but in general I rarely remember my dreams. A lot of people like that claim that they simply do not dream, but that's very rare and I have no reason to think that I lack a normal amount of REM. In fact, I deduced a while ago that I get more REM than normal based on remembering the act of dreaming, if not the dreams themselves, after very short intervals of sleep although it's typical for the brain to need 50 or more minutes to get into the dream state.

My biggest hangup with sleep is that since it's in my nature to think about stupid abstract shit all the time, I put myself to sleep with that act. However, as my brain slows down I start to draw weirder and dumber conclusions that tend to connect totally random things in weird relationships that make no sense. Frequently I'll come to such a stupid assertion that it'll click as such, and I'll go from practically unconscious to wide-awake in sudden anger at myself for having thought something so remarkably stupid.

In recent years, I've had the tendency of the ever-elusive lucid dreaming. When I was 10 I first read about it because it was a huge fad in the metaphysics scene at the time and everyone talked about how awesome and invigorating it was, so I trained myself somehow to do it. Since I rarely remembered dreams at all until I was 18, I had no way of knowing how consistent I was at this, but I'm pretty sure it did happen regularly. However, at 18 I was put on several different psychotropic medication combinations that caused me to have extremely vivid dreams. Often they were flagrantly counterfactual in one or many ways, but nevertheless extremely detailed. To show this off, I would look at extremely minute details in things and frequently read items with distinct fonts or handwriting*. In my dreams I could speak foreign or dead languages far better than when I was awake, and I'd wake up analyzing the grammar and vocabulary of my dreams to find it more precise than I'm normally able to produce. I've been told from numerous sources that dreaming in a foreign language is your brain's way of letting you know that you've acquired fluency, but I certainly don't think I have in any of them.

Within a few nights of my new wave of dreaming, I started having distinctly lucid dreams. Against the hype and such, those were incredibly miserable because my dreams would be more cheerful than real life and it was this realization that brought me to know I was dreaming at the time, so I felt depressed for wasting my emotions on a fabricated sense of reality. I'd quickly and intentionally wake up after that anyways.

Lately, even though I forget the details within an hour of being awake, I tend to dream that I'm a character in some elaborate fiction with a total detachment from my normal identity although they often incorporate details from my past.

Only in the past year have I regularly had sexual dreams, but these are always plot-focused and haven't been wet to my knowledge because I've never reached climax before realizing I was dreaming and waking up. Believe me, that TOTALLY SUCKS. My only sexual dream before this was similar in that regard, but uniquely prophetic in that it involved sex with a total stranger who, in fact, looked precisely like a total stranger I bedded a few months later.

Normally my dreams as of late are just plain stupid. The worst/weirdest dreams I've had revolve around my having a fever, which I guess is normal. What's bad about them, and I mean HORRIBLE, is that they usually involve me having to complete some task requiring impossible feats of mental calculation and memory. Like, one time I was an attendant at a turnstile and for some reason was required to memorize in rapid succession the name of the person walking through, a sequence of codes that somehow corresponded to a part of their genetic sequence, and their age. Within a few minutes I had to shout out a horrifically long code of all the people who had walked through to that point and divide some numbers arbitrarily thrown in for some reason. My brain was seriously overclocking and the heat it exerted was enough to wake me up.

*The discussion has come up at least twice here on whether or not it's possible to read in dreams. I think an episode of the old animated Batman from the mid-90s said it was impossible because of the brain's structure, but I certainly remember reading several times in dreams and I think others here have said they have as well. Sometimes I wake up distinctly remembering semiotic details, but other times I get the impression that I'd just be looking at printed material that was actually just visual gibberish and being implanted its meaning.

Ever had a dream where you wake up, then you wake up, and then you really wake up, but then you wake up again and it keeps going until you wake up for real and start hitting yourself to ensure you're not caught in some infinite piece of shit dream? That keeps happening to me.

The most painful and bizarre dream I had was getting chased by a rabid dog and waking up with my arms numb. I also had a dream I was eaten alive by a spider and woke up numb.

But other than those two, yeah my dreams have been like sitcoms of mediocrity (One where I was in a dream within a dream like South Park.) up until I quit McDonalds.

I once had a dream that I was an iPod shuffle. Everytime somebody touched me I'd be all "Here we go AGAIN!" and I would dance to this funky calypso music.

My best dream ever? I was in my backyard fighting an Apache helicopter! I was such a bad-ass, in the dream, I had duct-taped two handguns together. Awesome! That way, you can fire two handguns at the same time with only one hand. I don't know how the dream ended. If the pilot is reading this and is down to call it a draw, I'm cool with that.

I had a couple more goofy ones last night (pregnancy is great for making you crank out the weirdass dreams). Some I don't remember, but there was one...

I was in a German seaside resort. I know, I know. But somehow it was Germany and yet on a Caribbean-style beachfront. I was in a hotel room and mad because my boyfriend didn't want to go down to the beach, which was strangely beautiful and not at all crowded. Instead, I sat by the window and watched various strange things go by. There was a German Shepherd that was walking along with other animals riding on its back like it was a horse...smaller dogs, cats, and a monkey, I think. Then there was some sort of black dog that had a crappy canvas weather balloon strapped to it and it was just sort of floating along in the sky. Then I just sort of wandered the room and read the rules on the back of the door and listened to the maids out in the hallway.

I once had a dream that took place at my grandmother's old house. It has a large window in the living room that faces west so that when the sun sets the entire room gets flooded with light. In the dream, the sun had just fallen over the trees, and the sky was a pretty cascade of blue and purple and orange. As I was watching it set, suddenly, everything started to feel cold. I watched in horror as the sun continued to rise again, only instead of the sun, it was the disembodied head of a giant Cherokee chief in full headdress. He kept getting bigger and closer until finally he devoured me. :(

my weirdest dream was when my dick and balls turned green, fell off, and i picked another one off the wall

One time, I had a nightmare that revolved around me and my friends trying to solve a mystery, Scooby-Doo style. The mystery was about an undead horseman, who was just a skeleton in armor(the horse was normal, not undead). When we finally caught and unmasked the guy, someone said the cliche "Then who's that?", and my view shifted to the rightT he real horseman, who looked way more badass, cackled as his horse reared up and lightning struck. I nearly shat bricks upon waking up.

Three days... Three days...

I had a dream about the Drowning Pool song "bodies" when I was younger. It was really annoying because the chorus never ended. I think it was around "56, nothing wrong with me. 57, nothing wrong with me. 58, nothing wrong with me." before I got sick of it and woke up.

When I was around seven or so, I had this odd-ass dream. I dreamt that I woke up, and my bed was in the middle of this enormous black room. All that there was in the room was myself, a bed, a door, and a lightswitch. There's this loudass humming noise, so I think, "Hey, if I flick off the lightswitch, the noise'll stop."

So I do it. And then this monster that's like half swamp-thing, half 10,000 volt ghost busts out of the door, screams at me, and chases me around my bed until I woke up.

Which was like 7 hours later.

Other than that, though, most of my remembered dreams are zombie survival type things.

[quote=Dommin;546264]

So I do it. And then this monster that's like half swamp-thing, half 10,000 volt ghost busts out of the door, screams at me, and chases me around my bed until I woke up.

quote]

That sounds terrifying, Triffids used to frighten me a lot when I was young. I don't think I could deal with 7 hours of that. Probrably wake up dead.

seven hour dreams, thats unpossible

I had a dream where I was watching this documentary/news report on TV and all it was, was a diver filming with an underwater camera in a murky river. Thousands of bodies in varying states of decomposition were floating by along with a lot of debris while several damaged World War Two-esque armored vehicles and tanks were pushed by the current along the river bed. I think that there was a greenish tint to the footage but I'm not sure. I have no idea what the heck was going on but damn, it would be a great shot in a movie.

Damn, that does sound like it'd be a good shot in maybe some alternate-history WWII movie. Maybe something along the lines of In the Balance and it's sequels by Harry Turtledove. Great books, except all the sex scenes. Just way too many. :P That and Turtledove has to be the most ridiculously fun to say last names.

I had the most dull dream ever last night. I dreamt that I was in Art Class, painting. That's pretty much it. Normal class colleagues, normal teacher, normal paintings...I don't remember anything precise, but nothing special happened. I just sat there, talked with my classmates and painted. Meh.

I had a dream last night where I travelled back in time and saved a bus-load of Jews from the holocaust. Then returned back to the future (present?) and was questioned about the ramifications.

I just had a dream that I missed my sociology class, so for some reason a friend and I went to my old high school where I got caught by skipping that same sociology class. My sociology teacher told me not to leave any of the school's windows open. When I asked why, she told me that there's a chance an animal like a cat or something could get in and mess the place up. I then walked out of the room and into the gym. There was a bunch of people playing floor hockey and out of nowhere, a cat came running out into the game and got hurt. A bunch of people were freaking out cause it was bleeding from its head. I was then grabbed by the arm and brought to a room where I had a band-aid sewn onto my finger because I won "student of the year." I asked if I got a prize. The nurse lady said no, but then I walked into a campus bar (at my old high school) and asked if I could get free drinks all night because of winning the award. They said yes so I started drinking and eventually my friend and I managed to piss a bunch of people off and we started getting attacked.

The end.

I have very bizarre dreams. I did end up sleeping through my sociology class though.

Wow, lots of bizarre dreams going on in this thread.

Most of my dreams (at least the ones I can remember) are pretty realistic and never too bizarre. The weirdest one that I can remember from my adolescence happened the night after I spent the day reading a large compendium of all the different animal species on Earth.
The book caused me to dream that I was in my house minding my own business when suddenly I notice something running around the backyard. I take a look out the window and see a little animal, probably the size of a small dog, running back and forth. But I soon notice that it's comprised of every single animal species on Earth, all mixed into one disturbing looking mish-mash of animal parts. As soon as I realized that, it attacked me, and I woke up.

That dream, for some reason, disturbed me for many weeks after.

Anyone else get the lottery dream? Where eventully you realize it's a dream but just kind of hang around anyway. Usually people wake me up right when I'm about to get something nice.

My weirdest dream? How about a man that can use the washer AND the dryer!

Ladies, you know what I mean!

:lol thats fucking hilarious

what are your mud dreams?

i had a dream when i was in 6th grade that i was captain kirk and i had sex with a volcano :/

William Shatner's dick is so big he has to fuck a volcano if he wants to have an orgasm.

Even 6th graders know this.