"Maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but.....tabarnac, I can go right troo it!"
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TROO. |
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No shit
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To all the mockers :
My dreams are all dead and buried. Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode. When god comes and calls me to his kingdom, I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go! Aaa ddeee leeeyy aaaaeee ooooo. |
You watch Squidbillies? Ewwwww.
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I like it because I don't live anywhere near Hillbillies.
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<3 SQUIDBILLIES
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To Big McLargeHuge and shyandquietguy:
Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be the pains that are withheld for ye I realize and I can see That suicide is painless It brings on many changes and I can take or leave it if I please. The game of life is hard to play You're gonna lose it anyway The losing card you'll someday lay so this is all I have to say. That suicide is painless It brings on many changes and I can take or leave it if I please. |
To the real muthaphukkin' G's:
A cab combs the snake Tryin' to rake in that last night's fare And a solitary sailor Spends the facts of his life like small change on strangers Paws his inside P-coat pocket For a welcome 25 cents And the last bent butt from a package of Kents As he dreams of a waitress With Maxwell House eyes and marmalade thighs With scrambled yellow hair Her rhinestone-studded moniker says "Irene" As she wipes the whisps of dishwater blonde from her eyes And the Texaco bacon burns on And a steel-belted attendant with a ring-and-valve special Is cryin', "Fill 'er up, and check that oil You know, it could be your distributor, and it could be your coil" Early mornin' final edition's on the stand And the town crier's cryin' there with nickels in his hand Pigs in a blanket, 69 cents Eggs roll 'em over,and a package of Kents Adam and Eve on a log, you can sink 'em damn straight Hash browns, hash browns, you know I can't be late And the early dawn cracks out a carpet of diamonds Across a cash-crop car lot filled with twilight Coupe DeVilles Leaving the town in the keeping Of the one who is sweeping Up the Ghosts of Saturday Night |
to all the ladies:
All the girls are sitting on a pile of gold All the girls— And the boys you know they want—they want it All the girls are sitting on a pile of gold All the girls— And the boys you know they want it, they want it Boys we love you Some of us don’t But plenty of us do You should treat us good You do that and you know We’re gunna-uh-uh huh Share more of our goods with you They want it. They want it It’s economic Beneath the warmth that we export Of course some boys will try to push the prices down By pushing girls around I’ve seen some do this Learned to see through this They get scared So scared maybe we’ll refuse to share with them A gentle mass attack..... Exodus Tell them I know the truth that if you could Learn to save enough to make some trade with me Boys boys we love you Some of us don’t Plenty of us do Treat us good And you know we’re gunna Share share share Our goods with you |
To all the people who are lost and hurting:
Well we all need someone to lean on And if you want it, well you can lean on me Well, we all need someone we can lean on And if you want it, well you can lean on me She said my breasts they will always be open Baby, you can rest your weary head on me And there will always be a space in my parking lot When you need a little coke and sympathy Yeah, we all need someone we can dream on And if you want it, well you can dream on me Yeah, we all need someone we can cream on And if you want to, well you can cream on me I was dreaming of a steel guitar engagement When you drink my health in scented jasmine tea You knifed me in my dirty filthy basement With that jaded faded junky nurse Oh, what pleasant company We all need someone we can feed on And if you want it, well you can feed on me Take my arm, take my leg Oh, baby, dont you take my head We all need someone we can bleed on And if you want it, baby, well you can bleed on me We all need someone we can bleed on And if you want it, why dont you bleed on me Get it on, rider Get it on, rider Get it on, rider You can bleed all over me. |
To Kitsa and Jeanette :
I saw her today at a reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she would meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man No, you can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want And if you try sometime you find You get what you need I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she was gonna meet her connection At her feet was her footloose man You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you might find You get what you need Oh yeah, hey hey hey, oh... And I went down to the demonstration To get my fair share of abuse Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse" Sing it to me now... You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes well you just might find You get what you need Oh baby, yeah, yeah! I went down to the Chelsea drugstore To get your prescription filled I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy And man, did he look pretty ill We decided that we would have a soda My favorite flavor, cherry red I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was "dead" I said to him You can't always get what you want, no! You can't always get what you want (tell ya baby) You can't always get what you want (no) But if you try sometimes you just might find You get what you need Oh yes! Woo! You get what you need--yeah, oh baby! Oh yeah! I saw her today at the reception In her glass was a bleeding man She was practiced at the art of deception Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you just might find You just might find You get what you need You can't always get what you want (no, no baby) You can't always get what you want You can't always get what you want But if you try sometimes you just might find You just might find You get what you need, ah yes... |
Aslia :
I got nasty habits, I take tea at three Yes, and the meat I eat for dinner Must be hung up for a week My best friend, he shoots water rats And feeds them to his geese Don'cha think there's a place for you In between the sheets? Come on now, honey We can build a home for three Come on now, honey Don't you wanna live with me? And there's a score of harebrained children They're all locked in the nursery They got earphone heads they got dirty necks They're so 20th century Well they queue up for the bathroom 'Round about 7:35 Don'cha think we need a woman's touch to make it come alive? You'd look good pram pushing Down the high street Come on now, honey Don't you wanna live with me? Whoa, the servants they're so helpful, dear The cook she is a whore Yes, the butler has a place for her Behind the pantry door The maid, she's French, she's got no sense She's wild for Crazy Horse And when she strips, the chauffeur flips The footman's eyes get crossed Don'cha think there's a place for us Right across the street Don'cha think there's a place for you, In between the sheets? |
To Wislingsailsman :
CHOLLY -- Woman with the big thighs CHOLLY -- Lady with the hazel eyes CHOLLY -- Cholly make me feel good CHOLLY -- Like you know a ho should I love you Cholly when you're chickling my wally I love it baby when you shake your fat derriere Cholly make me feel good -- Cholly CHOLLY -- We can watch the sun rise CHOLLY -- Let me touch your thig pies GOLLY -- Really really big thighs CHOLLY -- Cholly hit me in the eye-eye-a-eye-eye-a-a-eye-a-eye OUCH!!! Cholly make me feel good Cholly Cholly make me feel good Cholly I love ya Cholly with your big fat body Oh oh golly Cholly you're just chubbly wubbly wobbly You make me happy when you shake-ling your tub of taffy You wiggly jiggly do the Fatso Fatty do the Ripple, Cholly |
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This part never made sense to me. I know the way he writes lyrics are usually offcenter anyway, but still. |
Thank you for the song dedication, Tadao. Alas, I cannot think of anything to dedicate to you at the moment, so I will offer a song of praise to Dionysus:
Heart - "Magic Man" Cold late night so long ago When I was not so strong you know A pretty man came to me Never seen eyes so blue I could not run away It seemed wed seen each other in a dream It seemed like he knew me He looked right through me Come on home, girl he said with a smile You dont have to love me yet Lets get high awhile But try to understand Try to understand Try try try to understand Im a magic man. Winter nights we sang in tune Played inside the months of moon Never think of never Let this spell last forever Summer over passed to fall Tried to realize it all Mama says shes worried Growing up in a hurry Come on home, girl mama cried on the phone Too soon to lose my baby yet my girl should be at home! But try to understand, try to understand Try try try to understand Hes a magic man, mama Hes a magic man Come on home, girl he said with a smile I cast my spell of love on you a woman from a child! But try to understand, try to understand Im a magic man! |
TO BIG MCLARGEHUGE-
"Bitches Ain't Shit" by Dr.Dre (feat. Snoop Dogg, Dat Nigga Daz, Kurupt, Jewel) [Snoop] Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks... [Chorus: Snoop (2X)] Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks Lick on deez nutz and suck the dick Get's the fuck out after you're done And I hops in my ride to make a quick run... [Dr. Dre] I used to know a bitch named Eric Wright We used to roll around and fuck the hoes at night Tight than a mutharfucka with the gangsta beats And we was ballin' on the muthafuckin' Compton streets Peep, the shit got deep and it was on Number 1 song after number 1 song Long as my muthafuckin' pockets was fat I didn't give a fuck where the bitch was at But she was hangin' with a white bitch doin' the shit she do Suckin' on his dick just to get a buck or 2 And the few ends she got didn't mean nothin' Now she's suing cuz the shit she be doin' ain't shit Bitch can't hang with the streets, she found herself short So now she's takin' me to court It's real conversation for your ass So recognize and pass to Daz [Dat Nigga Daz] Now as i'm rollin' with my nigga Dre and Eastwood Fuckin' hoes, clockin' dough up to no good We flip flop and serve hoes like flap jacks (Snoop: But we don't love them hoes) Bitch, and it's like that This is what you look for in a ho who got cash flow Ya run up in them hoes and grab the cash And get your dash on While you're chillin', with your homies and shit And how my niggaz kick the anthem like this [Snoop] BEEEYYAAACHHH! (Chorus) [Kurupt] ...To the store, to get me a 4-0 Snoop Doggy Dogg paged, that must mean more hoes So I head down the street to long beach Just so i could meet, a freak To lick me from my head to my feet And I'm here, now I'm ready to be done up Nothin' but homies around so I puts my gun up Bitches on my nuts like clothes But i'm from the pound and we don't love them hoes How could you trust a hoe? [Snoop:] Why? [echoed 3X] Cuz a hoe's a trick We don't love them tricks [Snoop:] Why? [echoed 3X] Cuz a trick's a bitch And my dick's constantly in her mouth And turnin' them trick ass hoes the fuck out Now... [Snoop Doggy Dogg] I once had a bitch named Mandy May Used to be up in them guts like everyday The pussy was the bomb, had a nigga on sprung I was in love like a muthafucka lickin' the protung The homies used to tell me that she wasn't no good But I'm the maniac in black, Mr. Snoop Eastwood So I figure niggaz wouldn't trip with mine Guess what? Got gaffled by one time I'm back to the muthafuckin' county jail 6 months on my chest, now it's time to bail I get's released on a hot sunny day My nigga D.O.C. and my homey Dr Dre Scooped in a coupe, Snoop we got news Your girl was trickin' while you was draped in your county blues I ain't been out a second And already gotta do some muthafuckin chin checkin Move up the block as we groove down the block See my girl's house, Dre, pass the glock Kick in the do', I look on the flo' It's my little cousin Daz and he's fuckin' my hoe, yo (Bitches ain't shit) I uncocked my shit...I'm heart-broke but I'm still loc'ed Man, fuck a bitch! [Chorus] [Jewell] (Dr. Dre in background "Bitches ain't shit") I don't give a fuck about a bitch But i and her know that they can't fade this Cause i'm doin my own thingdown with the swang I'm hangin' with Death Row like it ain't no thing I say you know can't deal Cuz I'm a btich that's real Motherfucker need to step back, hell yeah They need to chill Because I don't give a fuck And I don't give a fuck [x3] And now I gotta do some... And now I gotta do some shit that's clean But when I'm on a dick, hell yeah, I get real mean Like a washing machine I can wash the clothes All the hoes knows That i'm on the flo' ho But they can't hang with my type on swang I ain't tryin' to say I suck every ding-a-lang But just the juicy ones Witht he tip of the tongue And then their sprung With the nuts hung [Dr. Dre:] Bitches ain't shit |
To America:
He rode a blazing saddle He wore a shining star His job to offer battle to bad men near and far He conquered fear and he conquered hate He turned dark night into day He made his blazing saddle a torch to light the way When outlaws ruled the west And fear filled the land A cry went out for a man with guts to take the west in hand They needed a man who was brave and true with justice for all as his aim Then out of the sun rode a man with a gun And Barack was his name Yes Barack was his name He rode a blazing saddle He wore a shining star His job to offer battle to bad men near and far He conquered fear and he conquered hate He turned dark night into day He made his blazing saddle a torch to light the way |
To Obama and Biden:
DVDA -"America, Fuck Yeah" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI America... America... America, FUCK YEAH! Coming again, to save the mother fucking day yeah, America, FUCK YEAH! Freedom is the only way yeah, Terrorist your game is through cause now you have to answer too, America, FUCK YEAH! So lick my butt, and suck on my balls, America, FUCK YEAH! What you going to do when we come for you now, it’s the dream that we all share; it’s the hope for tomorrow FUCK YEAH! McDonalds, FUCK YEAH! Wal-Mart, FUCK YEAH! The Gap, FUCK YEAH! Baseball, FUCK YEAH! NFL, FUCK, YEAH! Rock and roll, FUCK YEAH! The Internet, FUCK YEAH! Slavery, FUCK YEAH! FUCK YEAH! Starbucks, FUCK YEAH! Disney world, FUCK YEAH! Porno, FUCK YEAH! Valium, FUCK YEAH! Reeboks, FUCK YEAH! Fake Tits, FUCK YEAH! Sushi, FUCK YEAH! Taco Bell, FUCK YEAH! Rodeos, FUCK YEAH! Bed bath and beyond (Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah) Liberty, FUCK YEAH! White Slips, FUCK YEAH! The Alamo, FUCK YEAH! Band-aids, FUCK YEAH! Las Vegas, FUCK YEAH! Christmas, FUCK YEAH! Immigrants, FUCK YEAH! Popeye, FUCK YEAH! Democrats, FUCK YEAH! Republicans (republicans) (fuck yeah, fuck yeah) Sportsmanship Books |
For Misdemonar
Free Country Reality it is a lie The briefest dream before I die To comprehend the cosmic scheme See the truth behind my dream Look out for me Let's trip on L.S.D. Look out for me D.S. look out for me (Drug Squad) Rocky's gold, and leb is red Black goes right to my head Mushroom tea, a toke of weed Amphetamine is real good speed Look out for me Come have some mushroom tea Look out for me D.S. look out for me Lines of speed on a mirror face Sniff it up through a biro case Heroin is for the hero It's a killer, you gotta say no. Look out for me Let's trip on L.S.D. Look out for me D.S. look out for me I turned to drugs to free my mind Just to see what I would find Tabs are great, now ask the drummer Smack my friend is just a bummer |
To Jeanette (my friend in animals)
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.ph...YSs4NVh2Wmc9PQ Wouldn't it be great To see the african plains Before they lay them to waste And only the bones remain Wouldn't it be poetry To shoot holes in the poachers we see With an elephant gun Men in helicopters fly Shooting rhinos from out of the sky Why do we always assume The planet is ours to ruin? What a legacy we're leaving behind What a legacy Wouldn't it be something For the men killing dolphin To be caught up by their necks In their greedy fishing nets Wouldn't it be irony If the tuna fish canneries Were to fall into the sea The dolphins and the whales still left alive Cry to the stars in the deep blue night "there's nowhere to hide, The people on earth will not be denied" What a legacy we're leaving behind What a legacy Wouldn't it be odd If there really was a god And he looked down on earth And saw what we've done to her Wouldn't it be just If he pulled the plug on us, And took away the sun |
TADAO (AMBIGUITY)
Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you 'Cause falling in love just makes me blue, Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see, I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me And I hope that I don't fall in love with you. Well the room is crowded, there's people everywhere And I wonder, should I offer you a chair? Well if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it, Before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it, And I hope that I don't fall in love with you. I can see that you are lonesome just like me, and it being late, You'd like some some company, Well I've had two, I look at you, and you look back at me, The guy you're with has up and split, the chair next to you's free, And I hope that you don't fall in love with me. And I hope that you don't fall in love with me. Now it's closing time, the music's fading out Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout. Turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found, I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round And I think that I just fell in love with you. |
:love
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Asila :
In the morning sun, I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you so many things About how much I really love you About how much you really mean So far away but it's so easy to see you When I'm away I want to put my arms around you And I want to know - do you feel the same way? 'Cause if you do I want to stay forever And I want to know - do you feel the same way? 'Cause if you do I want to stay forever With you So many colors that surround you Some so bright I can hardly see A light reflects on all the things that make you real Things that make you truly free So far away but it's so easy to see you When I'm away I want to put my arms around you And I want to know - do you feel the same way? 'Cause if you do I want to stay forever And I want to know - do you feel the same way? 'Cause if you do I want to stay forever With you |
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