I got an interview as a lifeguard tomorrow! Includes a swim test! Oh god I'm going to bomb it!
As in, I have to swim 300 yards, which I can do, I think, but not exactly with... form.
Fuck, whatever; if I bomb it, then so be it

Yep, my life is one big cavalcade of pain and I can't be arsed about it anymore. Basically. :lol

Which is a good thing because opiates make me want to puke, and if I say I'm in pain they just want to shove me full of them.

Good luck. Fuck form, get 'er done.

I'm making roast pork ribs tonight :hat

Thanks! I figure if they tell me I need to swim in a breast stroke or something, I'll tell them something along the lines of "I CAN'T DO ANY OF YOUR FANCY SWIMMINGS, BUT BY GOD I WILL TEACH THOSE CHILDREN NOT TO FEAR DEATH, BUT TO FEAR ME HAVING TO GO GET THEM!''

I'm jealous. I want you to know that.

GOOD

When all else fails, do a crawl.

It's so hard being fat and laying around all day

Just answered the doorbell to like 12 highschool girls in my yard. They said "You've been flamingoed" and apparently they put 5 flamingos in my lawn and said that they're from Anderson Highschool Color Guard or something and I have to pay them to get the flamingos out of my yard. I told them to just leave them. They said that the flamingos would eat my house and I told them to screw off. Man I hate fundraising little brats. None of them looked 18 or I may have put on the charm.

I remember back when I worked at Dell computers they went from natural light to fluorescent. I think it was to keep people more alert, but it bothered my eyes so much that I wore glasses. If it's at your work, you'll probably get a lot of people bothering you about it, maybe even your boss. Just get a doctor's note if they do that. Tell your doctor that the lights are giving you migraines or something.

I was thinking something like http://www.gunnars.com/ as well, I don't even care if it makes me look like a massive faggot. Yellow-tinted glasses would be amazing.

Yeah, I wasn't serious enough for Philo. :rolleyes

QUIT TRYING TO GAY RAPE ME :(

And yeah, I would give KoKo props but he seems to be phoning it in lately. Don't be wacky, just be you nigga.

also yeah Kitsa, I was being serious.

TADAO, YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

You go girl! :gentlehighfive

I had an issue with my knees - basically f***ing them up horribly while on vacation - to the point that I thought I was in for a surgical solution. I went in desperation to the chiropractor, who really didn't want to touch them at all, for fear of making things worse. I persuaded him to throw caution to the wind, and he adjusted only one knee (the worst one) and agreed to see me in two days. Long story short, the swelling is down, I'm doing knee-bends for strength and I can give the formal F-U to the surgical solution. Woot.

Pain is my friend. :)

Now that's a morale poster for swim lessons.

Those actually look pretty good. I may get some if I ever go back into the corporate world. I expected them to look stupid, but as long as they help the eyes against the fluorescent bastards, it doesn't matter how they look really.

So help me, I will rescue the little shits, visit them in the hospital until they're back in peak health, then beat them within an inch of their lives all over again just to teach them to never interrupt my reading again

pictures for sad children rules

Why the hell would I totally fuck bjork, my brain is, was, and forever will be telling me she's ugly as shit. I'm confused right now.

Well, time to go make an ass of myself. Wish me luck.

Wait, isn't it a bit late in the summer to be a lifeguard? At least around here, pools start closing at the end of this month. Oh well, good luck.

Creepasaurus thinks her pickles count. :lol What an idiot.