:pagebrak

Along with infractions, I would like to give out gold stars. Like to Dimnos for pagebraking.

Six days after that I asked out the girl that would go onto be my very first girlfriend. :)

So that other picture isn't you? okay. :letsouttheboner

:rock

You did a thorough examination? :eek

SHE JUST DYED HER HAIR TO FOOL YOU GUYS.

I'm no longer quote worthy cause I'm old. :(

Not even a little bit, we covered that last time The Zuke tried to nail her.

I don't get the reference. :confused :dunce

Are your pubes grey yet?

NSFW

http://www.google.com/search?q=canog...ient=firefox-a

What I'm saying is "T, show us yer pubes!"

I'm going by a vague recollection.

Speaking of pubes...

So old they have all fallen out.

That is why I asked the Ghost if he went deep to check. ;)

YOU CAN'T TRUST THE GHOST, HE'S TOO BUSY PLANNING HIS AIRHORN ATTACKS.

I just searched for canoga park forgetting the rule about things from you needing a porn suffix.

Man, you are a stud, but show a little more respect to your non-insane conquests, would ya?

PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER BEING A NON-INSANE CONQUEST.

I HOPE FOR SO MUCH BETTER FOR HER.

What part of crotch shot is unclear to you?

T, get yer knob online!

Is that why you traded her to Danny for a half pack of mentos and some guy's wing-mirror?

DANNY IS GOING TO TREAT HER RIGHT.

:pagebrak

I would you direct you to his twitter where he outlines his failures to look after pets.

He let a bunny freeze to death.

I hear from the ghost that your fine daughter has less fur than even a little baby rabbit.

This does not bode well for her time with our friend Tatom.

That last page of the PYPH thread is about two dozen infractions. >:

If only

Pfft

thank you, elx. I feel better. :)

HIGH FIVE DUDE :CHESTBUMP

GODDAMNING FUCK WHY THE HELL DOES MY GIRLFRIEND HAVE TO LIVE IN WHITTIER >:

WHAT

Have to wait five more days until I have enough time off from work so I can drive over and MAYBE get some, jumpfucking Christ

IF SHE MOVED OUT OF HER CREEPY MOM'S HOUSE ALREADY THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, GIRLS NEED TO START DECLARING THEIR EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE AT THE GATE WELL BEFORE ANY COMMITTED FUCKING STARTS

:rolleyes

Your girlfriend is a codependent that took you in off of the streets, let's you eat all of her food and gives you blowjobs while her parents are in the same room, YOU CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND THIS PROBLEM

Oh oh, and she "likes having [her] mom as a roommate". And "doesn't plan on moving out right now". And she also has now cheerfully admitted to me that she doesn't really have any friends.


THE FUCK, The weird ones are supposed to look ugly so that you know to avoid them beforehand, they are NOT supposed to be attractive, but I'm torn because she's desperate and easy when her fucking MOM isn't around and making sex jokes

FUCK HER, AND HER MOM

I AM FUCKING HER












HER MOM IS FAT AND WE HAVE ALREADY MENTIONED THE EXTRA SIDE OF CREEPY, SO "FUCK NO" ON THAT ONE

GRISLYGUS' GIRLFRIEND'S MOM, FUCK YEAH :rankeri

FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FECK MOTHERFUCKERS, FUCK, FIVE MORE DAYS AND THEN I'M LITERALLY TAKING HER STRAIGHT TO A MOTEL, SHIT'S RIDICULOUS

JUST FUCK AND SLEEP IN YOUR CAR

Especially if your seats recline all the way back, it's like the goddamn presidential suite nigga

I'm in San Francisco right now, btw. I'm closer to a lot of you right now than I usually am and it gives me the damn creeps >:

SAM I'M HOPPING ON ROUTE 101 LET'S MEET UP SOMEWHERE AND REMINISCE OF OLD TIMES

MY car? Does not lend itself to sex. We use her car. But I'm not going to spend all afternoon and all night in it.

Besides, movie, motel, alcohol, room service. Shit's impressive. To her, at least. She can't believe I buy things for her. And by "things" I don't mean expensive gifts. I mean basic crap like "movie tickets" and "lunch".

Wiat, San Francisco? BUY ME SEAFOOD, I STEPPED OUT OF OREGON AND INTO CALIFORNIA AND SUDDENLY I CAN NO LONGER GET MUSSELS, OYSTERS, CRAB, SQUID, OR FISH OF ANY KIND AND I AM NOW GOING THROUGH MERCURY WITHDRAWAL PLEASE SEND ME SOME RED SNAPPER AT LEAST, I'M JONESING HARD

Yeah right man I've been eating nothing but burritos and ice cream since I've been here :x

WE'RE RIGHT NEXT TO LAGUNA BEACH. LAGUNA BEACH IS A BEACH AND IT'S NEAR AN OCEAN WHY CAN NONE OF THOSE ARTFAGS FIGURE OUT HOW TO RENT A BOAT AND SELL ME SOME @#$!ING FISH

OF COURSE, YOU CONTINUE TO EAT BURRITOS AND ICE CREAM AND SAVE THE SEVEN POUNDS OF RAZOR CLAMS FOR ME, YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND

AND IN-N-OUT IS DAMN GOOD TOO, THE RUMORS ARE TRUE

I was at fisherman's wharf but it's a fucking tourist fag-fest and the food there is terrible

Anything for you Gus you're the only one for me here on I-Mockery dot .com slash forum slash showthread dot php question mark t equals 8799 :(

page 2715 >:

In other news, Pub Lover never wants to stop by and chat while I'm actually online and it makes me sad :(

HEMISPHERES.

Sounds like her mom sends her out to lure men into the spider den. I hope you didn't put on weight, that only makes you look tastier.

Gus, you should send the mom out for a pedicure or from your description maybe a face-a-cure that way you have the house to yourselves and it makes you a baller.

bullSHIT, it doesn't matter whether I'm on 2 am or 2 pm

AND I AM NOT SPENDING MONEY ON MARLEY THE WEIRDLY COY MANATEE

DRIVE NORTH FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS AND YOU'LL FIND ME.

UP ON SAM HILL.


I got my census done today. It was not as fun as I had hoped.

I ate a Krispy Kreme donut this morning and now I feel like a big gross fatty :(

It seemed like a good idea at the time :(

coulda been worse, like a greasy wetzels pretzel for instance

LOOOOOOOOOL



there are ways to lure pub, you just have to learn grungyguts

yeah yeah, you lure Pub by having a vagina


or by posting a picture of your c*ck :eek

I KNOW THE TRICKS, WOMAN, HE'S JUST BEING SPITEFUL

:yum :orgasm :eek

:eek

See, a series of creepy emoticons is how you page him.

now how do we scare him away before grannygums gets his conversation?

Only seven Force has done this for me. :(

The rest of you have let me down. >:

And by 'me' I do mean 'my boner'. >:

:pagebrak

My boner from looking at your cocks, you guys. :(

Why do you never think about my boner? :(

Yeah, because I am totally not a misogynist. :conspiracy

PUBS MA BOY

seriously

Bathing suit pictures. ;)

unless it's tadao in the bathing suit, that'll actually make him stick around longer

He has a quite nice looking mocha dick. :eek

Not too long, but could make you gag if you were overambitious. ;)

A wonderful girth though. You know he is in you. ;)

now, if I still had my speedos from back in high school water polo, I would dazzle you all

Only long enough to yell that he take it off. ;) :orgasm :eek

SHIT FUCKING HELL THAT POST IS RIGHT NEXT TO THREE DESCRIPTIONS OF SEVEN FORCE'S DICK GOD DAMN IT

Yeah, but from you, as I have mentioned, being nude is the key. It is only the lovable Miss Elx that should keep her virtue.

Hey, you're right! Let's hear some descriptions of yours? >:

and now I'm sad because it is actually swimsuit season now and my six pack is a thing of the past

still rocking the top half, though POPEYE ARMS AND TEXAN/SCOTTISH SHOULDERS ARE MADE TO BE CLUNG TO

Don't you owe Pub hood sliding action in Daisy Dukes?

Sir, it is infraction-worthy that you are not gracing the latest page of the PYPH thread with your shirt off. >:

I feel like you've seen my Lt. Dangle too.

not in daisy dukes, i can tell you that right now, but yes, i do owe him a hood slide :eek

I have been refraining from mentioning that. :x

Because he fell on his face and cried when he tried. :tear

Poor little guy. IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT, GUS! I FORGIVE YOU!

Show me yer knob! >:

Are you sure? describe your hedge.