i am about to die :(

Hard luck.

:nipplesofayoungman

I hate almost everything today.

I hate almost everything everyday.

I hated everything yesterday.

Life stretches out in front of me like a beatuifuKILL YOURSELF

PAGE 3001 FUCK LIFE

I love today!

:camerondiazsnipples

Spaghetti once I can prove you're womti you're out of here

That's the retarded assignment I've been given.

:daylate/dollarshort

:lol

Obviously PROS can do it, but since I'm a glorified freshman... Fuck this noise. I got other final projects that this bullshit is cutting into. If MLE can come up with a quick fix, I'm gold

You need to use CELL shading on the STEM.

If I get 5 votes to ban you anyway, I'll do it

I'd say yea to that.

I vote AGAINST it, out of boredom. I further claim, without any precedent or proof, that my vote counteracts GW's and you have to get five MORE yes votes

He's not even amusingly retarded, though!

sez who?

:carminalappleempanadas

Willie "madlibs" mobbs would be a gangster ass mobster name.

SHE WORE A RAAAAAAAAASPBERRY BERET

the kind you find in a second hand store?

Milhouse, just ban it anyway. You don't need five votes to do what you know is right.

why does nobody care that nature has killed 400 people in the south the last few days? >:

because William and Kate are getting married, omgggggggggggggg

Also it was Alabama

Well, it's a couple of hours until that wedding and it's rather a dull day. Aparrantly, they'll be riding in a open carriage whatever the weather. :wishesforrain

Also, Elton John has to provide a utility bill as proof of ID.

About 99% of the people gushing about it here don't understand that the "royal couple" doesn't give two shits about us, that no one here ever had a chance with any of them, and this pathetic wistful "let's wear fancy hats and gloves and have viewing parties" is saying more than they ever meant to about themselves.

I'm rewatching Twin Peaks on Netflix. It's gloomy outside and that little guy in the red suit is creeping me out quite admirably.

also, I hate everyone. Some of you guys are ok. A couple of people around here are okay. My kid is all right, I guess. But other than that, I hate everyone.

Bad day, Kitsa? :(

I imagine you'd make a good log lady. No innuendo intended.

I'd kill way more people than Log Lady did.

I had to copy down a phone number for someone that the exchange was 404 and my brain just error'd out. Had to have them repeat it.

I've been ordered to pay $25 to someone or I am evicted, but they didn't tell me where or to whom I am to send it and I have no information to contact anybody involved. So it's gonna be a very nice day.

I actually had an awesome day today for once. Not even a royal wedding instead of a royal hanging can bring my mood down.

I don't think they can give you a 1 day eviction notice legally.

I've attended meetings like this on a regular basis. :aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!

OMG the royal wedding was awesome! Kates dress was sooooooo beautiful!

I managed to avoid the whole disgusting affair :xmas1

I don't understand the hype of the wedding, I'm sure it's just as unexciting as any other wedding of people I wouldn't know.

Looking at the crowd made me believe that I could take over England armed with a sun lamp.

I don't understand how people are unoffended by the thought of a group of people who easily considers one of themselves worth at least two hundred of any of us. I appreciate what this does for tourism and I appreciate whatever this means to them as a family, but the thought that we're all expected to stand on tiptoe en masse for a mere glimpse into their "life" rankles me.

And it rankles me even more that people actually do it, willingly.

These are the same Americans that care about the words that come out of Sheens mouth. Royals are worth 200 of those idiots.

I did catch a glimpse of the procession of hats and thought they were some of the stupidest things I'd ever seen. Just because Lady Gaga straps some dumb shit to herself, that doesn't make it right. Some of those things were at weirder angles than Adebisi's.

I meant it in the thirty day sense. But it still sucks prty bad.

I thought you lived in like a dorm?

I did. I'm moving back into a dorm to avoid this shit. Besides, this place sucks a dick.

I'm sure you mean like a bad thing :(

I got super bored and drunk the other night and took a bunch of garter pics.

:tryingtolurepubout

Ugh, fuck dorms. I hated living in a dorm. There weren't even doors on the bathroom stalls, fuck that.

I hate when there aren't doors on the stalls. There's always that one guy who is in such a hurry to piss he practically runs right into your stall.

You sure he wasn't trying to give you lemonade?

What is the point of not having doors on the stalls? What about living in a dorm would indicate that the authorities must exercise more caution there than in, say, a common roadside rest stop?

Madlibs

Badlibs

Ducklips. Whoo woo

What the fuck is up.

Nothing. What up with you?

I am drinking at bars. You should be here dylan

I wish I could.

We should open a bar, like in Cocktail.

I was walking home from work today, through the woods. I passed through a trail that leads to a dried-up watering hole, which has a bunch of trees that are popular for people to hang out on; one of them is bent almost 90 degrees and is close to the ground. So, I saw a stepladder and a bag on the concrete bridge thing to the left, and figured there'd be someone at the trees, so I looked over. I saw some girl, dunno how old because she was far away, laying on the tree, and was like 'lol she's wearing a weird dress that makes her look like she's naked from far away. Fail.' I kept walking, and looked back over, and she was quickly getting into a purple bath robe, and some guy with a camera and another girl were now in view.
So today, I walked onto a nude photoshoot. I hope I photobombed it.

I would love to open a bar. Together. It would make a lot of money and we should call it sex appeal.

With lots of chrome accents and an eastern European bartender.

I could totally pull off an eastern accent. Then only sell straight rum and whiskey. Plus ice.

The best place evar, totally mayor of it in foursquare lolz

Hahaha, don't you wish you could have walked up to them and awkwardly asked "hey you guys what are you doing? Why are you naked can I help?" and then sniffed loudly while pushing your glasses back up the bridge of your nose.

It's obviously an alibi for a more sinister reason for him being in the woods.

Nooooooo Fathom you changed your avatar. :(

It's going to take a few more seconds for me to recognize your posts

A small price to pay for RUST IN THE BLOOD OF HUMANITY

I went to the woods today and there wasn't anything nearly as cool as a nude photoshoot. But I do have a woods-nude-photoshoot story. When I was a little kid, my parents made a spontaneous decision to go to Old Man's Cave, which is a touristy nature spot featuring a large overhang and waterfall.

I remember descending this steep stairway (pre-handrail) and seeing either bikini-clad or topless women under the falls, I wish I could remember which. There was quite a professional setup...multiple photographers, big lights, the whole shebang. It turned out they were shooting either a Playboy or Sports Illustrated thing. I think it ended up being Sports Illustrated.

Anyway, my parents hustled me back up the steps and out of there. All I remember is wanting to jump in the water too, how come THEY got to be under the waterfall?

At the point when I realized that it was a nude shoot, I felt like I was already creepy enough for them, and decided to just get out before they thought I was some pervert teenager. :\

no phone pics? you homo

one time i went to this park/ravine thing by my house and it wasn't even really in the middle of nowhere and i saw these people lying on a blanket on top of each other i assume they were fucking :O

OMG YOU GUYS OSMAS BEN LLMAN IS DEAD

The most important member of the CIA is dead.

I don't! why the bananas couldn't he have waited until tomorrow to tell us this? I was woken up because somebody was freaking out and asking me if an asteroid was coming - they tell me to turn on the news and every channel is like "OBAMA IS HAVING AN EMERGENCY MEETING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT REGARDING NATIONAL SECURITY & NOBODY IS TO LEAVE WASHINGTON!" come'on. I thought we were all in immediate danger of being eaten by zombies or getting nuked into oblivion or something. >:

I live in one of the safest places on earth :picklehat

You guys are gonna get terrorised as.

Safe? I was under the impression that something like 98% of the wildlife in Australia is dead set on human genocide.

The trees even explode, and there's a desert that fucking swallows you if you try walking across it. You guys have a goddamn Sarlaac.

http://www.i-mockery.com/blabber/201...-accomplished/

We have some lovely new "guests" commenting in the blog since I made a rare post that involved politics. :rolleyes

Sure, the mainland of Australia is dangerous, but the only thing we have to worry about on this island is the spiders and the odd murder spree. And we have been at peace with the spider people for several years now.

I wish my country had spider people

The funny thing is, your country was the first that pussied out earlier and decided to declare itself under "high-alert," right now your government has it's embassies under lock down, extra security added to it's airports, police taking "precautions", and sent out official warnings to all citizens urging them not to travel internationally and to avoid public places -- despite the fact that you guys are your own continent, are on the other side of the planet, and have had absolutely nothing to do with anything, you still feel the need to jump in and become self-proclaimed targets. Like what, the big bad al qaeda terrorists are going to come after you because you're white?

I think your government is a giant attention-whore, and the fact that it felt it was appropriate to issue such warning tells me that your country is likely full of delusional drama queens. You are right though, despite the hysteria, you are quite safe, (I mean really, you're not even important enough to be attacked)

Tell your country to go back to worrying about it's bugs.

This.

Elx you have mistaken me for someone who cares what their government looks like to the international community; they are idiots and crooks in worse ways than this. Being overly cautious is hardly much fodder for scathing political satire, to be honest.

For the record, several terrorist attacks have been aimed at Australians over the past decade, even with most occurring in neighboring countries. I'd say that a large Australian city would be a better target for Jemaah Islamiyah than, say, an American one.

Oh please. I know what you're trying to do here, and you can't get me that easily. Clearly you have an agenda, and the reason you guys play victim is simply because you don't want to be seen for what you really are. I think you've had a part in this hiding of Osama, you have a large muslim population so it's obvious where your allegiance truly lies. You're just jealous of America because we're bigger and better, you're not even a real western country either, you guys are eastern. Quit pretending to be one of us.

We're so far East that we're more Western than you.

Indonesia.

BOOM

BITCH

implying al qaeda hasn't been trying to kill us since forever

Only because you copy us. You even take our America's Next Top Model and watch it on the televisions that we invented as if you have any right. Then when Tyra was about to make a huge announcement you guys stole our thunder and "accidentally" had that whore Sarah Murdoch announce Kelsey as the winner when it was really Amanda. You just wanted the publicity stunt so you could get more attention than our top models, when ours are much prettier. Auster-ALIEN.

They have. But I doubt killing Bin Laden really accomplishes anything. If anything, it's made Pakistan mad as hell at us, since they failed at the little duplicitous thing they had going, and now they've got more trouble on several fronts. I don't imagine the Saudis are too happy either. Also, it's not like Al Qaeda doesn't have any contingency plans or backup authority.

I feel sorry for the woman, the one who was being used as a shield, who got killed. She never had a chance.

uh, i don't. wtf was she doing in osama's final boss lair to begin with? waiting for mario to rescue her?

saudi arabia declared osama a criminal a long time ago, along with pretty much every other nation on the planet. politically, this isn't a bad thing for our relationship with any country.

so if i understand you correctly, we shouldn't kill any terrorists because there's more than one of them? makes sense :|

I don't like talking about politics. But anyway, my own theory, which amounts to maybe a hill of beans minus a pound or two, is that there were many double-dealings in which various middle eastern governments told the US one thing while they did another. I don't think that's a novel, groundbreaking or improbable thing to suppose.
Following that line of thought, it's doubtful that the Saudis or anyone else are going to let us in on how they really feel about all of this.

I thought it was perhaps a little embarrassing that we've had so many casualties in various skirmishes in the nooks and crannies of Afghani mountains, when all this time he appears to have been ensconced in relative splendor in some deluxe Pakistani accommodations. It was the final boss lair, yeah, in this particular story, but I don't think that all other members of Al Qaeda will spontaneously crumble and cause us no further problems.

If his death brings anyone any closure, I'm glad for that. And I don't know who the woman was or how she came to be in the boss lair, so I don't have anything further on that. All I have are opinions, same as everyone else.

imo it's only politics if you involve political parties and their ideologies

i laughed out loud when i had read about the palace they found him in, 30 miles outside of the pakistani capital. like, seriously guys? you didn't think to check prince ali's fortified citadel with the 7 foot thick walls, just a stone's throw outside of the biggest town? i also thought it was a fittingly grandiose stage for a final boss fight. and also funny that 0 americans died in that assault.

at any rate he was a royal fuckwagon and i don't really understand why anyone outside of his junior varsity terrorism team would think it's a shame that he's dead. i didn't agree with any aspect of the iraq war either, aside from sadaam getting his as well. some people just need killing.

I agree that he was a royal fuckwagon. The world is teeming with them.

I can't believe MTV hasn't asked Ja-Rule how he feels about the death of Osama Bin Laden yet.