DEAR WILLIE, WHEN WILL ZELDASBIGGESTFAN GET THE HINT AND FINALLY LEAVE?

well you could try making yourself less available to him! make excuses to not be around

ALTERNATE, JOKE RESPONSE

you should try moving to another country, preferably one with lots of fat cowboys in it :wink

only when she starts having dreams about you so you need one of those dream manipulators i guess

invite her over to play with your wii lol

did he come back, i didnt notice

He did come back and his new name is DevilWearsPardo and he is even worse then before. :(

ALSO HOW DO I GET A DREAM MANIPULATOR? :(

i dont think thats really zbf though :( and idk about the dreammanipulator

Willie I have a two part question,

Firstly is it true you live near Guitar Woman? Secondly will you go round to her house, break her computer and punch her in the dick?

Thanks.

if by "near" you mean a two and a half hour drive, then yeah i guess

and for the second part, nahh the dick punching would probably have the opposite effect you'd expect

Dear Willie:

Now that you see the company you keep, will you still stand by Blur?

i didnt say i was standing by them i was just saying they have a good song :(

..

this is a stick up, give me all your money

actually i think the answer's three they're just counting the letters in the word

..

i didnt evne google it :x HORRAY FOR BRAIN USING

Dear Willie,
My knee hurts.
Will you please chop off my leg so I can get a prosthetic with bitchin' graphics?
I may be able to arrange payment.

only if it's a cybernetic leg with ten times the strength of a normal human leg

William,
What do you do to make a flu go away.

i don't know :( i haven't gotten the flu in a long time, maybe beards provide immunity

nope. i gots one.

Update!

Thanks Willie! It worked!

glad to hear it! :eek

So, Sam finally hit the road, eh Shrub? :rimshot

Willie, what is the best cure for my insomnia?

1-2 mg of melatonin usually works ok for me but if you don't have access to that uhh maybe have some chamomile tea? and/or maybe a snack of some kind

Willie, my glasses are kind of bent awkwardly, what would be the best way to bend them back to where they aren't all imbalanced on my head? Or should I just move onto another pair, I've had these for about five years now...