Understanding Women
 

This thread is for learning.

This thread is for understanding.

This thread is not for jerking it, so save it for every other Loveline thread.


Pretty simple idea here: Guys post honest questions and then the ladies answer honestly. We discuss, and then we grow as a people on the internets.

So I guess I will kick this off!

I actually read some shit on yahoo.com earlier today about chivalry and the modern woman, and to be honest it was a little surprising. I might be a creep by some of these ladies' standards. So I am going to repost the exact same questions and see what you women have to say!

The scenario: We are walking into a building in front of you. Do we hold the door open?


We are seated on a packed train and you're standing next to us. Do we give up our seat?


A woman is lugging a large suitcase through the airport. Do we offer to help?


(If Yes to above question)Okay, so we lug the case up a staircase for you. We would love to keep helping, but now we've got our own flight to catch.


We pass a woman walking down the street, crying. Do we do anything?


It's late at night and we see you stumbling alone out of a bar, extremely drunk.


We are in a parking lot and see you fighting loudly with a man, probably your boyfriend. Do we intervene?


(If No to above question)We don't do anything, but then it starts to get physical -- we see him grab you by the arm...


We are at a bar when we see you being aggressively hit on by David Spade. What now?

the way these questions are phrased makes me expect to be instructed to turn to a page number depending on my answer

Yeah, I dunno about going through and answering them one by one, as some of them aren't really phrased for answering, but I'll say:
I think the whole "you have to help her, she's a woman" thing is outmoded and outdated, not because I'm a raging feminazi, but because it makes it seem as if women don't have to be polite to men in the same way. So if you're in front of me, hold the door--because I'd hold it for you, not because I'm female. Same thing with helping with a heavy load, or being aggressively hit on by David Spade. The getting up from a seat on the bus thing is stupid, and I can't understand why a woman can't find a bathroom to have a good cry in; I would never cry in public.

So is being a gentlemen on dates considered uncool with the kids now days?

Is it ok if men and women argue about what we feel we should do in these situations? Or are men only allowed to ask what women want from us? (in this thread)

Nothing is allowed in this thread, sorry

I only hold doors open for people if they're unable to open it themselves (carrying stuff, etc.) regardless of gender. Sorry ladies, but if I see you being hit on by David Spade I'd probably wouldn't do anything about it but kick myself for not having a cell phone that can record videos :(

I treat women like human beings. If they can open a door or stand on the bus, than that's how it goes. I don't support women being weak for attention.

On dates seems to be something different from what MattJack was asking; if appeared as if he was asking what one does in a normal everyday, run into a woman kind of situation. Because we're like bears in the wild, we don't appear in public often.

I am asking in general, and pick the ones you want to answer.

TOO MANY DICKS TALKING IN HERE TOO

I like adopting women, training them to be slobs, then releasing them unto the rest of the male community. As a service.

Yeah, but you only do that with the ethnic women.

The scenario: We are walking into a building in front of you. Do we hold the door open?
Answer: I always thought holding the door open for anyone exiting or entering said doorway was good etiquette.


We are seated on a packed train and you're standing next to us. Do we give up our seat?
Answer: Only if she looks like she's in pain, if she's old, if she's pregnant, or if she's carrying a ton of crap. Or if you just want to be nice. It's not necessary to give up your seat, but it's a very nice thing to do.


A woman is lugging a large suitcase through the airport. Do we offer to help?
Answer: Personally, I'd rather not have anyone touching my travel bags, but again it's a nice gesture.

(If Yes to above question)Okay, so we lug the case up a staircase for you. We would love to keep helping, but now we've got our own flight to catch.
Answer: RUN

We pass a woman walking down the street, crying. Do we do anything?
Answer: It's probably best if you stayed out of it and let her be. If you make eye contact, possibly ask if she is ok, but leaving her alone is in your best interest 99% of the time.

It's late at night and we see you stumbling alone out of a bar, extremely drunk.
Answer: Make sure she gets a cab ALONE unless you want to come along to make sure she gets home ok.

We are in a parking lot and see you fighting loudly with a man, probably your boyfriend. Do we intervene?
Answer: No, if she's yelling with her boyfriend in public he's probably the type that would give you a black eye for intruding.

(If No to above question)We don't do anything, but then it starts to get physical -- we see him grab you by the arm...
Answer: Do something then, whatever you think the appropriate thing is that won't land you in jail.

We are at a bar when we see you being aggressively hit on by David Spade. What now?
Answer: He's kinda shrimpy and not a real threat to most girls. He'll eventually get a face full of mace or something of the like if this scenario were to happen.

The scenario: We are walking into a building in front of you. Do we hold the door open?
I think it's always the right thing to do regardless of gender or even age. I hold the door open for belligerant teenagers as well, and most even thank me!

We are seated on a packed train and you're standing next to us. Do we give up our seat?
I agree with CiG that only if she looks like she's in pain or pregnant, otherwise do what you would do for anyone of that age or if they are carrying bags, regardless of gender. If you do, with no provocation, give up your seat and continue to try to talk to said woman, she'll try to figure out if you're a creep or not, so don't be too chivalrous.

A woman is lugging a large suitcase through the airport. Do we offer to help?
Only if it looks like she is honestly having trouble with them. If she says no thanks, don't ask again.

(If Yes to above question)Okay, so we lug the case up a staircase for you. We would love to keep helping, but now we've got our own flight to catch.
Same as CiG, run to your own flight.

We pass a woman walking down the street, crying. Do we do anything?
Most women would rather you not help. If they're crying in public where there are other places they could easily cry, she might be looking for the attention of someone they know or are there with. Otherwise, you'll just case an unwanted scene.

It's late at night and we see you stumbling alone out of a bar, extremely drunk.
Help her to a cab, but unless you have been talking with her and somewhat know her, i wouldn't recommend going with her. She might come out of the drunken stupor just enough to notice she's not in the bar anymore and in a cab going somewhere with a stranger.

We are in a parking lot and see you fighting loudly with a man, probably your boyfriend. Do we intervene?
No. You'll just cause it to be worse.

(If No to above question)We don't do anything, but then it starts to get physical -- we see him grab you by the arm...
Yes, intervene then. There's no place that a guy should handle his girl like that, unless it's the bedroom and that's the way she wants it.

We are at a bar when we see you being aggressively hit on by David Spade. What now?
If you want to be nice, and you really think you're more attractive, you can interupt nicely to see if the girl takes the out, but again, only give it one try.

Guys, just show it to her.

I'm the guy that makes other guys have to make sure she gets in the cab alone.

If I pass by a woman crying, if she's my age, I'd take her someplace to cry it out.
If it's some older lady, I'd just pat her back and say "It's gonna be okay."
If it's a younger one, I'd slap them out of annoyance (prepubescent female crying triggers an automatic response in my hands.).

Just show it to her, guys

I don't get why you're trying to think of all these ways to attract women. Just rape 'em :x

It seems like the women have answered the original questions. HOW ABOUT SOME MORE, GUYS, OR ARE YOU TOO INSENSITIVE TO CARE ;_;

Yeah, what the fuck does it mean when a girl seems really, really uninterested in being around a guy and then keeps calling him at midnight

Means she wants to use you for talking because non of her girl friends are as sensitive as you. Wuss.

You may have fallen into the friends territory. If you're too much of a friend, you really do go there, but if you're there long enough, there's a chance of coming back strong when they realize "OH WE'VE LOVED EACH OTHER ALL THIS TIME IT MUST BE DESTINY"

If you're not in the friends territory, you might just be being fucked with.

Please delete my female appreciation thread. :(

I think I'd prefer the "being fucked with" option better, I don't even remember anything that we've talked about

Well, look out in the future, because if you're in the friends territory, if you get out and back into relationship territory, that's a good spot to be in.

That is, if you like the chick.

or show it to her

Ah yes, the "Ducky" Hypothesis.

Anyway, I'll answer the questions:


The scenario: We are walking into a building in front of you. Do we hold the door open?

Yes, but that goes for men, too.


We are seated on a packed train and you're standing next to us. Do we give up our seat?

Depends on the woman. Weak-looking old lady? Sure. Some chick yelling into a cell phone while cradling her tiny, useless dog in her other hand? Hell no.


A woman is lugging a large suitcase through the airport. Do we offer to help?

No. I don't want some weirdo walking up to me at the airport.


We pass a woman walking down the street, crying. Do we do anything?

Does walking away while wondering, "what's her problem?" count as doing something?


It's late at night and we see you stumbling alone out of a bar, extremely drunk.

A stranger walking up to a drunk chick at night? Not unless I feel compelled to get maced and have the twins crushed.


We are in a parking lot and see you fighting loudly with a man, probably your boyfriend. Do we intervene?

No, let them figure out what their problem is.


(If No to above question)We don't do anything, but then it starts to get physical -- we see him grab you by the arm...

Yes. Call the cops, take a picture, say something, etc.


We are at a bar when we see you being aggressively hit on by David Spade. What now?

The guy got a Playboy Playmate pregnant, and then said he didn't want to have anything to do with her. If that isn't hint enough for you to avoid dating him, I don't think there's anything I can do to help you.



I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm more inclined to just leave people be. Most of the time, here in the big city, that's all people really want.

Boogie, you are an honorary girl.

I'm generally the same as Boogie, yes.

I hate it when some obnoxious jerk I've never seen before just starts TALKING to me, I wouldn't want to put someone else through that.

This shall be used against you.

honorary, not actual.

I think I would offer to help a lady out in the airport if she looked like she was struggling with her luggage, but only if I'm within a reasonable distance of her and eye contact was made. Guess I'm a creep :\

Also, if I EVER saw a guy hit a woman.. I'd get in his shit quick, fast, and in a hurry. I don't think you should ever hit a woman. Defending yourself is one thing, but to hit a woman is a massive fuck up in my book. Of course diesel dykes don't count, so you can give them the elbow drop if they wish to fight you. I have never came across an angry lesbian though!

Speaking of which, a few years ago, one of my friends got into a fight with some guy and was beating the shit out of him when the guy's girlfriend came up behind him and started attacking him. He didn't see who it was, obviously, he just knew that someone was attacking him, so he whipped around and punched the girl square in the nose. I guess she hit the ground pretty hard and was bleeding pretty badly. He felt pretty bad, but what do ya do in a situation like that? I can't remember what this girl looked like, but I don't think she was too dainty.

Also, usually I pretend to care about girl problems to try to get a piece :(. Sometimes I genuinely do care, but it'd have to be a real problem and not something like "Omg my parents didn't get me the brand new car I wanted, so I'm stuck with this piece of shit from '05". A girl I know actually said that.

Well if she was just slapping him on the back trying to get him to stop, laying her out with one punch might've been a little extreme.

Nah, it was a while ago, but I'm almost positive she was punching him in the back of the head and kicking his legs or something. Not all girls just slap. To illustrate my point: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3QKzFHkK6LQ

Some girls exploit the "man should never hit a woman" thing. I believe some truly are asking for a black eye sometimes and rightfully deserve it.

I have no problem knocking the hell out of a woman who is asking for it.
Other than that, I am the perfect gentleman.:picklehat

Omg I love you :(. I hate that. Sometimes there are some pretty aggresive girls at parties, bars, etc and when they get drunk and get in a guy's face and start pushing and hitting him, they reeeeeally push the limits of that rule. I've seen some bigger girls attack guys and it's just wrong seeing the guy not fighting back in any way other than accidentally clipping the girl in the face when shielding himself.

I think the immortal words of Chris Rock put it best

http://youtube.com/watch?v=S4HEjjiPWuE

Why do you always get wasted before saying how hot I am but then later are all "OMG I DONT RMEMEBR ANYTHING HAHA WOOPS WHAT DID I SAY?" but then also get wasted and get fingered by jurks who idolize Eminem?

This questions is to all the ladies.

An ex of mine had hit me on about 3 different occasions. We would be bickering over something and she'd elevate it by closing her fists and hitting me with all her woman strength (which is the equivilant to an 8 year old). I would just turn my back and block my face, or sometimes I would grab her by the wrists and physically stop her.

When I told her, "You just hit me! You know I could call the police and say that you assaulted me?"

She simply looked at me and with a mocking voice said, "Oh, but, but officer! He was hitting me! I was just defending myself!"

So I think that was the day I stopped trusting women and living with them.

I think you should defend yourself from being beaten up, but I wouldn't do it on the same level as defending myself from a man. I think most men are strong enough to handle most women without it being a slobber-knocker. Sorry, I don't mean to sound overtly sexist or anything, but I think that's just how it is in most circumstances.

1-Often times the "forgotten drunk moments" are a way to cover up something we meant at the time but no longer mean. Alot of the time, at least in my case, being "so wasted we can't remember" is an excuse for doing something stupid.

2-If the bitch gets poked by some Eminem worshiper, she's getting what she deserves for even talking to the little punk ass.

ladies why you gotta be so scary :( signed willie

I got a question for the ladies

Sup ladies?

Because usually females (until they're about 25-26) don't know what they want, and are messed up half the time from hormones and PMS, not to mention the likelihood of having depression, bi-polar, anger issues, self image issues, or anything along those lines. Even a "mentally healthy" girl is batshit nuts until about 26.

AL, HOW BOUT SOME SEX? :lol

so its basically the same reason i'm scary then :( except the pms

bump that age up to about 50....

MLE's pretty much dead on with that one. Though most females never outgrow their craziness, the craziness shifts. We may mellow out on one of our crazies, but another would be enhanced in it's place.

We are indecisive creatures that want to feel comfortable. If you can make us comfortable we're not so scary, unless you have a really nutso chick on your hands who would benefit more from a psych ward than a friend/lover.

I am definitely a Peg Bundy, except I work 2 days a week and my husband isn't a shoe salesman. I even wear leggings all the time.




PS-Our hormones get worse as we age, we might be more "stable" as we get older but we cry alot more and ask if you guys think we're fat (and other questions you guys hate) a whole lot more the older we get.

So women are crazy!

ALL THOSE MEN THAT HAVE BEEN TELLING ME THAT MY WHOLE LIFE WERE RIGHT!

So basically, you have to find a woman that you can tolerate the best? Is marriage really like Married With Children? :(

Yes women are crazy.


That's what I would recommend.

And no marriage isn't like Married With Children. I don't know about the kids part though. I'm not that brave. It's just like living together but it's more expensive to get out of. Most housewives aren't like Peg either, some of us clean!

I'll give you some serious advice...find a woman you can be friends with first. If you can't be friends, you'll be a miserable married couple.

Also, don't marry your high school sweetheart unless you want your life to be like Married with Children.

Married people sitcoms and real life marriages only have one difference.
Sitcoms are funny.

Damned Skippy.
Don't marry anyone unless you want you life to be a living hell.

Except when Mods do it. Then it's magical forever.

That is what every older man has told me :lol

Yeah, every older guy in my family has given me that message, too. Often in front of their significant other.

I've been married since 1995. Seperated for 3 years. We were living together for 2-3 years before we got married. So.. living with one of these creatures and studying them in their own habitat has left me no closer to understanding them.

I don't try to understand them antmore, I just let them get pissed of at me for not trying anymore and let them leave me.

Women at least start to know themselves by age 25ish, which is why I quoted that age, but CiG is totally right that the problems will be reeplaced by other problems. Most females do have some other mental illness as well.

For the record, I have bi-polar, ADD, seasonal depression, self-image issues, and more as well as being under 25. Imagine what Chojin has to go through on a daily basis!

thank God for Ninetendo games, huh Chojin

I should be graduated from High School, but I'm on the "Pathways" program where I do a number of subjects over a number of years. So far none of the girls at school have taken any romantic interest in me. I've had some really terrible experiences with girls standing me up on dates they never intended to go on, because I was that "retard kid", when I actually just have high functioning Asperger's. The only really honest response a girl gave me for rejection was when this one girl rejected me because she already has a girlfriend and is quite happy.

I also have an irrational fear of popular blonde girls because usually they want to hurt my feelings. Considering what they put me through you'd understand why.

You and Jonathan Clement should be the best of friends. He has low functioning Asperger's.

I've always seen people who date in high school as going out just for the sake of going out which is idiotic and something I settled on not involving myself with

I think I made the correct decision, you should do it too!

I didn't date in high school because I was considered undesirable by the opposite gender!

At least you can be honest about it and not make up a reason!

what are you implying

I'm a handsome young stud, mister

there's nothing wrong wtih being gross when you're a teenager, teenagers are SUPPOSED to be gross

Hey, I'm a teenager, darn it. Some are supposed to be gross, some are just plain gross, while the rest of us, the fighters, (from which I belong) fight to survive.

Wait, what?

filipinos :rolleyes

You are not a teen ager until you hit 13.

Maybe I should reconsider my choices. I might not be ready for dating yet. Especially when most rejections from girls fail to put me in tears, (except for the really cruel ones) but the most emotional piece about love I've ever written is a Fantasy subplot where an old man of royal blood gets his heart broken by a gold-digging Elf. And the very notion of this makes me blubber when I think about it. Seriously, if I'm more emotionally concerned for this poor guy who isn't even real than for girls at school who definitely are real (but hey, they have no emotional interest in me either).

Pros: I can write about the pitfalls of romance in a way that even makes me cry.

Cons: Somehow to me, all the girls at school are either good friends or bitter enemies. And yet I don't know what to do when a real girl starts crying or needs help to feel better. Mostly I deal with this with hugs, but what do I do if the girl doesn't want to be hugged? Then I listen to what their problem is. Trouble with that is, usually they're sobbing about how some guy/girl was really horrible to them, for reasons she explains but I still don't understand.

As an Asperger's kid sometimes I feel like I'm not even thinking like a real human would use logic. I understand what's going on inside Superman's head perfectly when he starts doubting his own abilities, and Doctor Who seems to me like he needs a hug, but it turns out that real Humans who don't operate on the same logic as I do are baffling to me. I can understand why people might not have empathy with me, but why some people don't have empathy for anybody, human, fictional, or whatever, just irritates me.

Should I be happy that I understand somebody's pain, even if they're not a real person, and accept that an understanding of Humanity will come with much life experience and wine drinking? If I can't figure Humans out, how can I figure out Women, who are part of the same species?

So did you actually get diagnosed with Asperger's by someone that wasn't yourself because I've found out that a lot of people who claim to have Asperger's just say they do as an excuse for their social problems.

learn to live alone...best advice I could possible ever give. If you rely on someone else to make you happy, you're going to be miserable for a long, long time.
Enjoy your solitude.....stop being such needy pussies.

I like half and half. Living in separate places with lots of sleep overs.

When you meet a woman at the bar on a Saturday night and she tells you that you are missing your chance to go home with her, all while Your Love by The Outfield is playing out of the jukebox. Does that mean that she is probably just as fucked up as you?

Basically, you should probably avoid women at the bar, huh?

Just make sure you've got both kidneys in the morning.

Or additional kidneys you can sell to a Chinese business man.

Okay, I figured it out: Before you go out, put a couple latex scars right about where your kidneys should be, and act like you have renal failure.

Actually I was diagnosed with it. But I bet there's other reasons than that that I have social problems I bet. I've personally never heard of such a thing as claiming to have it as an excuse for social problems. But something tells me that some people are just crazy enough to do that.

I don't often use my condition as an excuse. And when I do, it doesn't end well. Maybe I should stop using it as a bail-out for other weirdness that's unrelated.

More like Jake of all TIRADES, amiright??

Maybe I should just shut up on this thread. It's clear that I've already displayed too much of myself too soon. I will stop the ranting... NOW.

Let's see you moms tits.

Oh come now, that was uncalled for!

I got diagnosed with that too, but I decided that it's nothing but a bunch of bullshit and that my problem was that I just really, really hated people.

I would assert to the powers that be that I don't have it if I weren't getting a free ride from the education board :picklehat

People who talk about having Asperger's syndrome probably don't have it. To wit: 98% of Wikipedia users.

i thought i was a aspie but now i am indecisive between that and avoidant personality disorder + ocd

idk it's not important enough to see if i can get a doctors note saying "please excuse this dude from doing shit, his brain is weird", unless i lose my current job, then i might be in some shit lol

I bet jack of all trades looks JUST like his avatar.

Also a note to you since I know you're not really gone-

No one cares about your problems, least of all us. You don't have to apologize to us because you were never part of this community and - stay with me here - we still wouldn't care even if you were.

Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to take a joke. That's all we've got here. Jokes. Such as yourself.

*ps not willie, everyone cares about him

I accept your apology jokeofallthreads

Chojin what happened to your open minded attitude towards wonderful new posters

rog will be heartbroken

Rog has explained to all the moderators that tolerance of new posters extends only to those who aren't colossal Livejournal fags.

thanks for passing that along, Boogie....

I was diagnosed with kick-assberger's.

This guy needs to STOP being such a pussy!

Guys that whine as much as chicks are far from attractive to most girls. Jake, if you're lucky you might find a girl who'd rather date a gay guy but settles for you. Other than that, man up Nancy Boy.

And quit blaming assburgers for people not laughing at your jokes/enjoying your stories about elves.

But I thought chicks liked sensitive guys :rolleyes

MAKE UP YER MINDS

P.S. Hickman that is one of the most bassaddest pictures I have ever seen boy.