Hickman's In The Army Now! (Thread moved from Chat)
 

guys im not good at math but i got 33 hours left as a civilian and you wont hear from me in a while and btw i am drunk hardcore and i can't wait to go to basic training and meet new and interesting people and have a great time while fighting a war and i'll make sure to make a new thread about it when it becomest the right time to amake one about the war that i am in but righht now i am about to go to sleep and after the first nine weeks of basic training i will have limited inter net access and i'll make sure to write to yoiu guys because you are all funny people slash characters i love yoiu all exceopt for a couple like guitar woman jk (only because everyone says that abous you but i think hyou're alright) not amazing like the no virghins aloud radio show with jixby phillips and mark ridddles that was hystarical good times. ok time to FELEL AMERICALN. I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND AT LEAST I KNOW IM FREE AND I'M PROUD TO SEE THE MEN WHO DIED TO MAKE MY LAND FREE AND I PROUDLY STAND UP AT THE AMERICAN FLAG AND I'M PROUD TO SERVE THIS LAND GOD BLESS THE USAAAAAA!!!!!!! i hate that patriotic poopie btw. btw i love yoiu guys see you in 9 or so weeks...(NO PROMISES) make sure this thread doesn't close btw

please everybody read what is above me

FOR MY SAKE YOU JERKS

guys i'm not reallys hickman i'm PFC DUNNAVANT and i'm proud to be part of the united states aremy

stay hard, bro

also alive, but that's a given

Good luck and don't get broken.

Last time I replied to a thread like this I made a huge ass of myself and had a lot of uninformed opinions, so I will refrain from adding my stupid advice!

GOOD LUCK TIGER

I know he signed up just to get some foreign pussy.

i just lol'd

What's your MOS gonna be?

don't die man :'(

Hickman we already know you're cooler than your brother ok you're sure doing a lot to prove yourself to a bunch of internet forum nerds :(

i salute you just don't die and send me a bullet as a gift i demand it (please)

I expect at least 3 stories about native threesomes. But I can't ask for pics. :tear

Be careful out there.

Good luck :)

good luck man. I don't think there are any asian broads in iraq tho ):

I'm 31 Bravo. Military Police. And now that I'm sober I can actually appreciate the absolute amazingness of what I said.

THANKS GUYS! <3

I already wished you luck and ordered you not to die when I lost count back in June.

My opinion on such has not changed.

:lol

Also don't be an overly patriotic asshole when you get back. I plan on making fun of America a lot around you and I need to know that you'll be cool with it

Best of luck with everything! Make it back safe and soon.

Good luck, make the best of it, and don't be one of those dicks that pulls someone over on base for going 2 miles over the speed limit.

The only reason why I'm drinking early is today is because you leave in the morning. :tear I promise to be faithful.

MP... go lay down some law. I'm glad there are plenty of young men like yourself who'll fill those recruitment numbers. I don't want them calling me back. HOOAH.

hickman i'm gonna cheer up for the US in the next war, those damn commies won't put a foot in the state of georgia

Your going to die in the army.

I hope his going doesn't die in the army. :(

Save as MANY grenade pins as you can and try to send one to every active Mockery user.

That would be illegal!

THANKS GUYS! SEE YOU IN FIVE MONTHS~

:tear

I hope you make it through the servace and live a happy life.

Your first couple of days will actually be pretty calm. They'll deprive you of sleep while slowly indoctrinating you to the process of waiting. No yelling or physical activity. Once your initial paperwork is finished and you have your first set of gear issued to you (sweatsuits, towels, etc) they'll take you to your barracks. That's when the fun starts.

Remember that boot camp is just a game. The best advice I can provide is to pay attention and keep quiet. Oh, and PACK LIGHT! Don't be the asshole with a ton of luggage. And when you do head to your barracks, make sure and stand next to someone you perceive as being a tidy person. It will pay off.

Good luck, boot!

DON'T FUCK UP!
WE'RE COUNTING ON YOU!

Why would it be illegal to keep grenade pins? That's gay.
'Sir that's a flight hazard. Please move to the right.'
'It's a pin. The grenade has been detached and is now embedded in several Iraqis. I don't see what the problem is.'
'Sir, just bear with me. For all we know you could use it to detonate a bomb.'
'Or I could use matches.'
'............'
*taze'd*
But seriously, good luck, and thank you for supporting our country!

In training situations they'll typically chap your ass if you discard the pin. It's ridiculous.

That is pretty ridiculous. Do they reuse them? Or maybe you're supposed to hold on to it in case you don't need to throw the 'nade after all, and you never released the spring so you can put the pin back in.

What you don't need is to question your superiors on something so trivial.

Well there's a difference between sassing your superiors and just asking them, 'Sir, what do they do with the used grenade pins? Do they recycle them?' or 'Can I take a couple pins home for my father/son/nephew/whatever?'
I don't think most officers will have a problem with a question out of curiosity.

Remember, if your drill sergeant tells you to drop and suck his cock, he's probably gay.

Or curious, or just a dick.
Badum-tisch

Yes, they do recycle them for training purposes. The dummy grenades simulates an explosion by using a flash. The housing stays in tact and they can reuse the grenade as often as they want. So they want the pins.

And I'm not exaggerating when I say there's absolutely no place for the word "why" in a boot-camp-like environment. They hate that word. It's insubordination.

Perfect example; we were doing live fire exercises on the range. They have a rule they call "up and down range." This means you keep your rifle pointing upward with the barrel facing down range - or toward the targets - no matter where you're standing. You could be sitting on a bench and if you're rifle isn't up and down you'll get jumped.

One day one of the recruits asked a drill sergeant why he had to keep his rifle "up and down" even though his rifle wasn't loaded and he was sitting in the bleachers.

I don't remember exactly what the drill sergeant said to him, but it was something along the lines of the DS shitting in a dixie cup, going back in time to abort the recruits fetus, and random expletives about him having bat shit between his ears. And he screamed all of this about 2" from his face. It was also at that point the drill sergeant noticed that the recruit didn't have his kevlar helmet fastened properly. More berating ensued.

Good times.

the most amazing thing about this thread is how ElPila came back.

I missed you too baby :love

Guess whose back guys! So I got a ticket for having a burnt out tail light in this car I drive around every once in a while. It's a classic. It isn't mine but I help out this old disabled Vietnam veteran do some odd jobs around his house. He pays me with his car. So on Memorial day I got pulled over like I said and I got an unsafe vehicle violation. I paid it off and told my recruiter. He told me that won't be a problem. But I guess that was one traffic violation too many. So now I leave September 3rd as a Unit Supply Specialist! Not the worst job around. I'm like Radar from M*A*S*H!

'
"Yay!"

File that report for FREEDOM!
Just read up on Cargo Specialist. Hopefully you can move up to that.

what the fuck, i never heard of anyone getting a ticket for a burnt out taillight

It was probably a fix it ticket, but it might still count as a traffic violation.

Uhm... What MOS did you have before that having a traffic violation jeopardized? Sounds kinda' fishy.

I was going to be a 31b MP. But I already had two traffic violations. One more and I woulda been done. Memorial Day night I got pulled over in that sweet convertible and he gave me that horseshit ticket for burnt out tail lights. Now I'm a 92y!

But I'm happy with it. I'm in for 3 years instead of 5 and I'll probably reup as an mp after my first year in.

That's how I drive my Fiesta.