Drunk bitches barfing on you.
 

Ever have it happen? I have, numerous times. I think it's fucking gross but I'm usually drunk to so it's kind of funny.

One time when I was at some senior party in highschool, The chick who owned the house had a mad crush on me and she was ok but I had been with my girlfriend for a long time. Turned out my girlfriend was a dirty whore and I had dumped her prior.

So anyways, we're in the shower dicking around and what not, and she's on her knee's begging me to sling a spoonful of oatmeal down her throat, and I feel *kinda* bad because i'm not nearly as drunk as this chick. However I don't give a shit.

So she's saying things like "Come on... hurry..." moaning all sexily, and I think she really just wanted me to hurry up because the next thing I knew she totally barfed on my cock, balls and down my legs. There was so many chunks of shit on me it was disgusting. Like huge leafy lettucey things.

So I stepped over her, washed my dick and nuts and everything off and left her face down in a chunky puke stew because the barf had clogged the drain.

I remember being pretty drunk and stoned so when she was barfing I don't even think it phased me, I was just watching her. I think it was because I was already in the shower. Cool huh?

You sure have a lot to say in one day.

I try.

I don't think that you do.

You know what I think?

That you're a cutie.

Instead of trying to talk to us, you are lazily cluster bombing us with wacky comedy in the hopes that we will say that you are funny. This isn't that kind of website. We like our comedy well timed and thought out.

Actually I got fired from my job and I've been getting wasted lately and in this misery my sleep schedule has been thrown in reverse so all of my posts are probably sticking out because I'm posting when no one else is. Or is this forum just dead as shit?

As for my "Wacky Clusterbombs" I've made a mock-noob-video-thread ironically and obviously right next to the real video thread with over 1K posts to further allude to my fake noobdom as a joke and then I made this puke thread in my all-night boredom because:

A) Its a good story that I still tell to this day
B) I honestly and genuinely want to hear about drunk bitches barfing on other people. Is that so wierd?

And aside from those I made an art thread in the gaming forum and posted my pictures. I do love the website and I've lurked for a while but now i'm an unemployed bum digging into my savings, sitting on my ass and browsing the webs. Let a brotha relax nigga DAMN. And no i'm not black so don't get scared.

I am pretty tired and somewhat innebriated still so I will take the advice and do more replying before I birth more threads from my dirty lady hole.

Can anyone confirm if the ip address originates in, oh I dunno, Hillsboro?

What the fuck time is it over there? Is it night? I should probably get to bed because it must be daytime here.

Fuck, really? This is absurd. Have you no trust!? I don't know what I could do to prove that I'm just a new member, but the first thing I'm gonna do is not give a shit.

thrasho you need to slow your roll

Seriously, isn't it the afternoon in the US?

Its 2 PM

Dude. Two words. Shut. Up.

Can anyone confirm if the ip address originates in, oh I dunno, Hillsboro?

Dude's not me.

I THINK ITS INTERESTING HOW SIMILAR THIS PERSONS POSTS AND BAHMOS ARE

NOT JUST THAT, BUT LOOK AT THIS:
BAHMO
THRASHO

ALSO THEY BOTH CONSTANTLY TELL STUPID SELF-DEPRECATING SEXUAL JOKES. "I HAVE SEX WITH CATS" "IM REALLY GOOD AT FELCHING" etc.

I ALSO CONSIDERED THAT IT COULD ALSO BE PRAM MAVEN OR WHATEVER PERSON IS BEHIND ALL THREE OF THESE PERSONS

I signed up here a long time ago with my regular user handle ThrashOmen and never got a validation e-mail. A year later I cannot get it to work so I make a new one.

Nice O-theory though, you chould be like House or something. I could also be Marlon BrandO or Jay LenO.

You know it also looks like we all speak English and use the Internet. Does this Bahmo also consume food and have arms and legs? Now that you guys mention it, something is kind of fishy about me, and I don't think it's my collection of torn hymens.

yea except marlon brando didn't start posting here again with the same excuse like five minutes ago

Okay pram maven :rolleyes

I don't get it. Why the fuck would Pram Maven, a guy whose already in the forums, create another name, and post. I can't tell if you guys are just fucking with me or are actual complete dipshits.

I'M ALSO JOAT

:conspiracy

Hey, here's an idea. Shut. Up.

Tadao is every annoying person on i-mock, including Coolinator.

EDIT: Maybe even me! :eek

That's the most facetious thing ive ever read

TELL US MORE WACKY STORIES!

THAT WAS CHUCKLEWORTHY!

Jokes ruined by Pram Maven's clunker posts (since 5/29/11 5:42 PM) - 5

Jokes ruined by Pram Maven's clunker posts (since 5/29/11 5:42 PM) - 6

Did you write the line 'It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.'? Cause that post sure read like it.

DID YOU DONE YPUNCH HER CUZ THATS W HAT YOU USUALLY DO IN THOSE SUTIATIONS OR DIRTY SANCHEZ HER.

Yup!

Cool.

Ok I might as well come clean. I am Pram Maven. I thought you guys would never figure it out. This whole time I have been masquerading around as one of you silently masturbating at the incredible progress I've made and then everyone, like clockwork, figured me out.

I mean, just rearrange the letters in my name for godsakes: ThrashO -> Pram Maven.

I'll leave now...

ANOTHER EXCITING DAY IN I-MOCK HISTORY

I continue to nod approvingly at Throsha. He is my favorite nephew.

Dont you talk to me like that me.

crunk mode willie, sippin' on some prrple

Drunk Bitches Starting Threads on You

about there pussies being exploded.

PLEASE MORE WACKY NEEDED STAT

Dear Lord. Deliver us from Chuckle-Humperdink.

Thank you.

Dont you talk to me like that me.

Don't open a can of dicks if you can't eat the whole thing.

Learn how to quote posts you moron.

Dont you talk to me like that me.

Okay, I will to you not like that talk you.

Man, I can't wait to hear what you have to say next. I'm whippin' out my decoder ring.

What is wrong with you?

Why thank you! *touches his hair and shows a boob*

Time for Pentegarn to update his post count. :\

Show me the funny!

Jokes ruined by Pram Maven's clunker posts (since 5/29/11 5:42 PM) - 7

Jokes ruined by Pram Maven's clunker posts (since 5/29/11 5:42 PM) - 8

Jokes ruined by Pram Maven's clunker posts (since 5/29/11 5:42 PM) - 9

And it keeps going like this

The thought of Pram Maven makes me really depressed :/

GOOD NO WKILL YOURSELF

That's the point, but you're also supposed to feel like you're dumber by sheer proximity to me.

whussup yall

i like your ice and fire wing guy. its like hes good and evil and a faggot.

I liked your opener, Thrash0. It kind of reminds me of those wacky life stories printed on the back of every bag of Uncle Ray's potater chips.

The only thing missing from it was "a month later, she broke it off with me because she fancied a rugged baseball player. Them baseball players have all the luck, haw haw. Buy my onion rings."

It's like watching a multivehicle accident on railroad tracks in front of a speeding 100 car freight train during a violent thunderstorm.

If thats really what two guys making posts on an internet forum is like for you then I think you need a hobby.

He meant when you 2 post that is what he sees, not when 2 typical posters post

Trust me the new 'tard trio' that has arrived here is far from typical

:lol You're trying to explain social behavior to Asspies.

Toada can we do dildonics

Careful, that laugh might confuse Pram :lol

Great, you guys just sparked another two hour hugbox session.

^^^ Now THAT'S funny.

no its not :xmas3

Much like when Pram says something is not funny, ThrashO saying something isn't funny tells me that it is without a doubt funny

I've never had a drunk girl barf on me, but I have had to hold her hair while she threw up. Unfortunately it was a wig, and she threw up on that too.

Your mother doesn't count, Pram.

I just want to know, is that funny? Because it sounded really lazy but im sure everyone thinks its funny. If thats what passes for funny then I seriously will leave.

Yes it was funny.

I dont believe you. I think ill hang around for a bit.

No one believed that you would leave.

So you're a liar too ThrashO?

Tadao is right it was funny and you should keep your word

Removed unnecessary words. Added obviously missing words. Your work is unsatisfactory and I will need to speak to your parents

Summed up the majority of your posts.

And I shall do likewise for you

Whatever mexican.

Mexican? :confused

[by way of explanation] Mexican food contains lots of beans and is known to cause explosive flatulence. That and the possibility that he is referring to the connection between Mexican food and "Montezuma's revenge".

Yeah, it's pretty weak. :blah

Not only was it weak, he probably pulled something reaching for that.


Guess that's why there's no witty followup from him, he's nursing his injury

your ruinnig my thread.

back on topic

http://www.imightbedrunk.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/white_hot_fat_girl_throwing_up.jpg

:x:x

Wow.

guys. i miss kellychaos.
THAT'S how bad this is.

isnt that nsfw? im not sure and im not gonna look closely but i think you might be able to see some vagina

No you see gunt

Prob going to be the only wood she's gonna be able to sit on.

:lol

oh shit i just realized kellychaos is gone

i think a celebration is in order

:lol


:tear