AND THEN MY FRIEND BRIAN JOINED THE PARTY LIKE RIGHT AFTER, IT WAS ALMOST A FIVESOME

:GROUPAIRHORN

:O :O
you guys is sluts

decided to pull a tony v (this ridiculous asian kid in my major; engrish all around) and whilst eating vagina, asked "did you came?"

:lol

Couple summers ago at a party I had my then-girlfriend on my lap sitting side ways. We had been making out and stuff and then I casually slipped my hand up her shorts to finger her a bit. She was hosting this party you see, and we were both pretty drunk. So she's clearly enjoying it and we kept at it for a while. Then my one friend (the only sober person) runs up to us. I go to jerk my arm away instinctively but she grabs it and sorta turns towards me to make it not so obvious.
So basically I'm knuckle deep in this girl and my friend sorta stutters "uh... I need to get my bike out of the garage, can you unlock the door (host)?" So I respond "Yeah, thanks she'll get to it in a sec" and I proceed to shoot him a thumbs up with my ah, wet hand, completely ruining any chance of subtlety.

:lol

probably not the appropriate thread but it was jus tSTRANGE the other day i went to the store downstairsand there was this chick in there and she was all, "HELLO MY NAME IS ANDR0MEDA" and she had a voice like a lisping gay dude (haha ok not that bad) and she was all, "I SAW YOU TENDING TO THE flOwerS ONE TIME, IT MUSTVE BEEN BACK IN JANUARY" and i aws all, "YEP" and then she was all, "I HEARD THAT YOU WERE MARRIED... SHE MUST BE VERY PRETTy"

i thought people only said things like that in movies :(

...did you really?

Dammit, you keep using all of my lines before me :(

Maybe she thinks she is trapped in a movie. You should have cut her a real.

Finally got anal. :pickle

Had to sign a reverse deal though.

WAY TO GO BILL! Someone finally popped your brown cherry. Did you leave them a snickers bars or an almond joy?

I've really wanted to fuck exactly two girls from school. Last night, I got the second one (I did the other one a while ago).

Way to achieve your goals, Zomboid!

basically, if she's on her period we just have anal sex for a week

and it's fantastic

;highfive btc.

We were doing anal the other day and it felt like I came with my entire body for a minute straight, convulsed and then collapsed.

Edit: double

When I read that story, I pictured the guy in your avatar. I'mma go drink some bleach.

Today she was like "we can't fool around tonight because I have a gynocologist appointment tomorrow."

So I'm like "but you don't have an orthodontist appointment tomorrow."

You could have said proctologist too :lol

OR THE PODIATRIST :lol

Or the pediatrician. :lol

:(

:lol

I'm probably really late on this, but I just found out you can get glow in the dark condoms. :O