Is it with a creepy girl? Or does she clean herself properly and all that?

YOU HAVE 1 FUCKING JOB!

I blame facebook and reddit for the dead of internet forums

Congrats, big fella

Looking over the posts I made 5 years ago

I uh, really liked to talk about getting my dick sucked

Man, kahljorn was a funny motherfucker

I miss this place

Wow, I was really depressed 5 years ago!

It's ok, 21/22 year old Rongi. Eventually you move to NYC and get into a really good PhD program. Chill out, man.

I was also racist and homophobic? But ironically or something?

I DON'T KNOW WHEN TO DO IT D:

Free Halloween compilations enjoy!

nobody wants that

So, how 'bout that president Trump?

This is all Stephen Colbert's fault. He should've done more anti-Trump skits!

Holy shit Milhouse, you're having a kid?! Part of me wants to offer legitimate congratulations and the other part wants to make a dickish comment. I'll settle on a halfassed, waffling post in which I say nothing of consequence.

Like the old days.

Before certain... People... Were let into the country club.

Seriously though details, man! Details!

Lets see her tits.

WTF. Front page this shit.

..

so i fucked some sex into this lady that I live with legally :x there were no tricks and we can afford it, that's already off to a good start :(

i mean i'm gonna be a dang ol' dad in a month you guys, what the fuck :(

..

dads are gay

I can't wait for Esuohlim's wacky raising a toddler story thread.

Great Secret Santa this year, guys.

:lol

Here, enjoy a "best of" retrospective from years past:

:lol

Those are some good-looking white people.

:pagebrak

fuck you

You guys gonna watch the switch event tonight?

Is that the new Nintendo crap? Fuck them.

The Zelda game looked okay, the Mario one looked horrible, but I haven't been excited for a new video game for a long time now.

My preorder is in for both versions of Zelda.

I AM SUPER SALTY THAT I DIDN'T GET A SPECIAL EDITION

i'm a dad now you fucks

if anyone wants to come learn what it's like being a dad i'm hosting a seminar on dadchat at 2am ok just click the link below

link

:squigly

WHATS UP YOU FUCKERS

I'M ON MEDICATION THAT MAKES ME SHIT MYSELF LIKE 6 TIMES A DAY RIGHT NOW.

PS congrats, milhouse. WHAT'S THE LITTLE BUGGER'S NAME

I mentioned it to people, CiG and 10K and The Leader amd MLE are all happy for you. I'm sure others are too if the unblock me.

Aw congratulations Milhouse. That's huge news.
Everybody growing up and stuff. Not me.

You and me both, buddy

Let's party with people we don't like and waste money we don't have while doing everything we can to avoid thinking about time and youth slowly running out without accomplishing anything of merit.

See? This guy gets it. Literally my biggest news of the past few months is that I almost moved across the country for a meh job, and then didn't.

I can't believe we're fucking dead

Has anyone actually died yet?

I mean, I guess we have no way of finding out. My money's on Tadao, me, and whoever else does a similar amount of drugs.

Happy your kid's birthday btw

I'm racing my way towards death, so I'm a pretty good bet. I don't know how I would find out if GW died. Fucking Otto was so suicidal I had to remove him from Facebook. He might be dead.

I'm alive, and in a new apartment :o

RIP FartinMowler :lol

jk :lol

i hope kellychaos is dead

I hope Chuck Barris dies too, fuck that guy

This place is on it's last few breaths me thinks.

I'm now the proud poppa of a college degree (at the age of 32 even!) from a fancy pants private university thanks to the bi-partisan Post 9/11 GI Bill, which footed the entire 130k bill. Now I just have to find me one of them newfangled jobs everyone has been talking about...

im moving to chicago in less than a week wut up I-Mackery

Chicago, from N Carolina?

Found someone lonely enough to marry me. Truly an all time low for humanity. P.s. Snape kills Dumbledore.

I'm making enough money to survive, holy shit guys. I AM LIVING THE DREAM HERE, BE PROUD OF LIL' OL' Z-BIFF

yeh. 10 hour drive, me and my ol' cat, everything i own in a midsized sedan. sunday.

Good luck my dood. If it's only 10 hours away, then I assume you know your way around Chicago.

I went to Chicago once. I watched a college football game in Evanston (what a lame city and campus) and then got drunk at a bunch of different bars around Wrigleyville. It was a fun time and I would visit again (except Evanston. What a lame city and campus).

When I moved to San Antonio from Saint Paul I drove 23 hours in an SUV with my cat. She freaked out so bad within 10 mins of being in the carrier that I let her out and she spent the entire trip hiding under the driver seat. She did the same thing when I eventually moved back. That cat has logged some serious miles. :rock

My old cat Zelda went to KC and a few other places efore she died. She meowed like crazy, but she had diabetes and I didn't wanna let her go.

Getting older is no fun

Moved with my cat in the car on a 12 hour drive. No carrier. She sat on top of stuff on the passenger seat and meowed loudly at me for 10 hours. I went to Chicago for a concert and visited the museum. Food is good.

I LIVE IN CHICAGO

I WILL HAVE TO MOVE IF AAARG IS COMING THOUGH

get to moving, son, i'm in humboldt park now.

after about 9 hours of driving, i got a flat tire. good stuff.

i've let my cat ride freely before, it wasn't great. she meowed for about two hours, then kept quiet and just endured. THEN she had to spend two nights in a house with 4 other cats. she was not happy. now she's good!

What's that you say? Cats don't like change? Hold on, let me get a pen and paper.

other things to note:
- fluffy tail
- pointy ear
- some teeth
- need water for life

TRACKS LITTER ALL OVER THE GODDAMN FLOOR >:

OMG! Congrats! Your wife now has evidence that she did teh secks! :eek

Now we just have to wait on the paternity test to find out if you did, Esuohlim. :lol
I am not a fucker. :posh

I'm a wanker. :wank :tear :orgasm :x
You've got there an astonishing number of people that seem to only selectively block people. :eek

I can't remember what I did to alienate everyone here. :lol
Looks like we've got some contenders still fighting me for most pathetic. :eek

Guys, you'll never beat me. :lol

I'm sweating my ass off in a laundromat because my totally sweet new apartment has bed bugs. It's a really good time.

Fuck

You're a fucking whiner, zeldasfattestfan. In some countries people would grateful to eat those bedbugs

I know man, I'm too negative.

TELL YOUR BABY MAKER HAPPY MOM'S DAY OR WHATEVER PEOPLE OF YOUR CULTURE AND STATURE DO

look zbf I know you've been here a while now, but I don't see that you've submitted a collection of dick picks from all angles for our Secret Forum's Dick Pick Megathread (we even have Kitsa's).

until you do you can't be one of the Gang. pm Pub Lover for details

Surprisingly, only one person here has received a pic of my dick.

My d*ck is all over the place man. That weird smell at the laundromat?

That's my d*ck, homie. Free smells for all. And if you want to see it, just inhale deeply through the nose with closed eyes. At least that's how my ladyfriend finds it

man

why we gotta put up with you

Because unfortunately, we seem to be the only ones here :(

I miss everyone, and the time when we all could post and get shit on by eachother by the end of the day. Now we gotta wait a week and read 2 replies. I miss this place

Fucking fecalpheliac

Thanks man, I needed that. I miss you too, bb ;)

woah rude

Don't take it all personally, I miss you too man!

I was smoking a bowl earlier and had some nice thoughts about this site (more specifically, the forums).
All the people that used to gather here have pretty much moved on. You got the last of the last holdouts like Tadao, Zelda, Aaaaarg, and that guy who only posts in the Television and Film thread. But for the most part, anybody who was once here has ended their association with the site. Who the fuck knows what they're up to now? Having fucking babies and shit, probably. Most of the users here were good guys and I wish them all the best. For example, I hope Willie is losing his weight and I hope that Guitar Woman has long ago OD'd on heroin.
The very people that founded this website? Where are they now? Rog is doing computer shit, I know that much. But what about Protoclown? Max Burbank? They're probably doing fine, but the important thing is that they've all grown past this. They've moved on.
It's crazy how long I-Mockery has been around, and it's crazy to compare the total post numbers over the years. I wonder if any of the past forum members even remember coming here anymore.


If all that sounded gay as fuck, I'm sorry. I can't be a fag in real life so I have to do it through my writing.

They all got murdered. It's a big whodunit.

earlier this month i met somebody who has been an internet acquaintance since 2000. our association is old enough to have a license and a job, and is far older than any of my ~irl~ friendships (those that i haven't actively damaged or passively neglected to death at least).

RIP message boards as a social medium

I still see gw post here once in awhile. I still have Seththomas's address somewhere. I always wanted to send him a nice pipe and tobacco as an apology for years ago. He may not even remember this place.

I love you, bitches. All of ya.

All these people are on facebook using their real names and talking to each other there instead of talking to fake names with fucking zelda avatars

And letting me know that OREO O'S ARE COMING BACK. WHAT THE FUCK

I saw Jixby Phillips @ the big auditorium downtown a few months ago. He is getting laid on the reg by all sorts of chicks

well i don't really have a hell of a lot to say

Yeah Captain you fucking fuck fuck.

Sacks hasn't posted in his thread since January. I hope he didn't dead.

To be fair, there's a fair amount of dipshits on facebook with zelda avatars.

Duke's response made me lol hard

zeldasbiggestflan

This is the first time I've logged in about 10 years.
What a mind fuck.

So we went to dinner at this classy Italian ristorante and this girl came. It was her first time going out after having her baby so she wasn't used to alcohol.

She went on this five minute drunken rant about how teenagers have it so easy with websites because they just click and drag pictures where they want them to be. They didn't have to figure out html coding for pages if you wanted bouncing stars next to words or even have text that is the color red.

At the end of the rant she raised her wine glass in the air like she was going to empty a clip and yelled at the top of her lungs:

HTML MMOOOOTTTTHHHEEEERRRRFFFFFUUUCCCKKKKEEEERRRRRSSSSS S

That dude who shot that senator today is from my hometown :o

Fucking weird

You should run for Senate.

DANG BRO

Bitches love pasta

You fill your bitch up on pasta? Get classy my dude and get that bitch some lobster.

Tell that bitch she gonna get her own lobster.