I bet her dad gave her a boner hug

Dad does not do boner hugs. He spends too much time telling me how he wishes I'd had siblings.

The alternative, though, is to hear about how he wishes you could be more like those other siblings.

"Bunch of idiots", I thought, was putting it rather succinctly.

Maybe you would have more siblings if your dad could get it up around you.

show pops the shrub

Hey fags this was a good article

http://www.progressiveboink.com/2012...efeld-drawings

I think this guy drew some of The Maxx

DON'T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MAXX AGAIN

FUCKING HELL

He didnt even draw any of it. You guys were right.

DON'T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MAXIM AFINOGENOV EITHER

grrrrrrrrrrl

that was awesome

I bet he dances like a fucking fruitcake as well

I think I owe something to Rob Liefeld, seeing as his stuff single-handedly kept me from reading superhero comics.

More Die Antwoord. And... Harmony Korine.

OKAY

ZUGS

>:

boner zugs

EDIT: I originally wrote something incredibly boring here.

Not that it would've changed anything.

SAM

Got a free subscription to Spin magazine.

Read the first issue yesterday.

What a bunch of masturbatory product-placement-heavy claptrap about a bunch of bands I care little to nothing about. Rock journalism has gone down the shitter hard.

All I came away with was vague surprise about Patton Oswalt being moderately articulate in an op-ed piece.

woah they still publish spin? that's awful.

i burned my hand/wrist with soup because i'm a fuckwit.

MATLOCK DIED BUT WE STILL HAVE ABE VIGODA

http://www.abevigoda.com

Somewhere there is a Grandpa Simpson crying right now

Speaking of wang cutting, didn't you get yours done at planned parenthood for like $100? I have been putting this off for a year almost and still got no insurances.

God damn I hate the 4th of July. It really brings out the fucking redneck, nationalist, intolerant jerks.

Patriotism is gay.

Son of a bitch. I didn't know died.

Andys die in threes :(

Rooney
Griffith

...

Eric Sykes died. :(

But then maybe the British don't count.

NOT TODAY, FAGS

WOO

Why couldn't it have been andy dick.

I hate that guy.

now i can only whistle the andy griffith theme song while i eat my morning grits with tears in my eyes :(

I passed right by Mt Airy not long ago and didn't stop, now I wish I had, not that it would have meant or changed a damn thing.

I also bypassed the graves of Chang and Eng, the famous Barnum & Bailey conjoined twins who became tobacco farmers and slave owners and baptist deacons.

the BEAUTIFUL MT. AIRY LODGE

I did stop at the world's largest strawberry, though.

*andy dicks touch each other*

Yeah Planned Parenthood was going to charge me a bunch o money, but then I lost my job and they said "How about ten bucks then?"

I used to have ICQ as my instant messenger. That was awesome. Everyone had it and life was great. Than I had to add YIM and AIM because people are fickle and gay. Then MSN and now I'm supposed to Skype? Fuck all ya'll. I don't need to talk to anyone that badly.

I have Skype because I'm going to get rid of my cell phone soon. :\

You don't need that shit in the internet age.

once i tried icq and was like "NUMBERS? FUCKEN GAY" and then i tried yim and some 40-something dude sent me a message and i was like "SERIOUSLY FUCKEN GAY" and now it's 2012 and i still use aim

also skype's lame because i'd feel obliged to pay attention to what's going on, rather than the 8 tabs i have open at any given moment

Just got back from the ER, where I spent a fun-filled 3 hours checking to see if my cat left any chunks of teeth in my hand when he mauled it.

He didn't, but now I have to do a round of Augmentin. Hate Augmentin.

He was freaked out during a bath and now it looks like someone attacked the meat of my hand with a staple remover.

You bathe your cat? I hope you have a proper reason to (which I am sure you do) because otherwise I have no sympathy.

Speaking of cats, my cat is no longer obese! He's cat sized now.

I don't have a cat. I have an ottoman.

i wish i had 3 ottomans instead of 3 cats.

my family owns a chiweenie now

it could be the ugliest pet ever

sounds like it would be. punch them all and tell them to get an actual fucking dog next time. and then shit on the dog's face for good measure. you may have to sedate it first.

He rolled in chemicals in the garage.

If that Bsqared chick was still here, she could tell you what to do. I'm pretty sure she was a professional puppy killer.

Dig the Connells, Tadao?

Didn't listen but it sounds like a buncha MICKS to me

not reeeeeeeeeeeeaally

i've noticed fewer and fewer people signing onto AIM and MSN now that Facebook is pretty much the defacto chat program. Add to that that Skype can load facebook chat and yeah I'd consider skype essential software prty much.

I'll have to give it a serious listen to sometime. Hope I don't forget.

I don't much like facebook, maybe that's why. I'll wait till the next great thing so that I can remove all my old IMs and be hip and fresh.

lol I have chat turned off on Facebook

New Dan Deacon album coming out. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THREE YEARS.

so thrasho and other peeps near NC,

I'm likely going to be in Raleigh next weekend to pick up my mail-order bride and so I'd like some tips on neat things in the area. Good food, attractions, etc.; what do you recommend?

we could also maybe hang out if i'm not too busy with the makeouts

there's a zoo in Raleigh I think

You can do that!

update, i'm going to fayetteville instead

UR GOIN TO FATTEYVILLE HUH

KAHLJORN YOU ARE PERMANENTLY EXPELLED

Used to live there. There are plenty of strip clubs, pawn shops, and bad Chinese restaurants.

Fuck yeah, I'm 1 for 4 so far this year.

lol

RIP McHale. :tear

Man, I thought for sure I had made some predictions in that thread. Guess not.

I just realized I no longer have any Slayer. This ends today!

I got in a huge fight with my father that ended with me getting a severely bruised arm and telling him that he was a worse father than Bing Crosby and Ryan O'Neal combined.

I'm so fucking glad I cut that deadbeat lout out of my life.

THE DEUCE IS A BOY

You had a shit that was a boy? That's impressive.


Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying something that needs an ultrasound.

I'm pinching a loaf right now. :eek

Happy free Slurpee day!

I just got offered a job you guys, but being lazy for 14 months was really fun so it's bittersweet

Thanks internet!!! Brb:rock

EVERYONE'S FREE SLURPEE IS ON ME TODAY, FRIENDS

1) I'm pretty sure linking to SA is a bannable offense here, but that crayon-bird-drawing thing they have on Goldmine looks so exactly like something that would be done here it poses a strong argument for some sort of halfassed convergent evolution.

2) I read a thing about the only Roman Catholic priest ever executed and it's fascinating.

*edit- in the US. In the US. I'm pretty sure St. Maxmilien Mary Kolbe and a good chunk of martyrs would qualify for "in general".

FUN FACT FOR THE DAY: searching for "coughing" in google images brings up pictures of people giving an invisible man a blowjob.

:lol

:(

Womti I'm going to give you 12 hours to make a case for why I shouldn't ban you. Post it in this thread. No less than 500 words. Cite your sources.

If it passes I'll leave you alone for now, but shitty spelling and grammar is an automatic ban so watch out. And have fun!

6 hours 30 minutes left

This is exciting :eek

That's not entirely fair; you should have had the deadline fall during public library open hours.

OH MILHOUSE, YOU SLY BOOTS YOU ;) ;)

It would've been kinda fun if he had actually written something :(

I think the implied pedophilia was more than enough to save him

but that's just one guy's opinion

So I figured out why people with fucked up spines like myself are not supposed to try lifting or using weed-eaters.

Feel like my got-danged arms are going to fall off, when they feel anything at all.

Also got it wrapped up in the neighbors' chain link fence in very short order.

You don't have Mexicans out there?

Ohio is like the bed bug capital of the world. So yes, they are present.

DUCKS TOUCH EACH OTHER