Shwoop

There it is.

We have a fundamental misunderstanding here.

First, I love McVities. Milk chocolate only, though. I dip them in coffee. The only improvement I could come up with, other than the apparent complete lack of nutritional value, is a non-chocolated notch for the thumb so that you don't come up with a chocolate thumb after dunking. I was mainly surprised that they have no fiber because they go on about "whole wheat" (which really isn't supposed to mean anything, per my bigdeal nutrition professors; you should look for "whole grain"). Also, there are heavy grain-heads floating above the biscuit on the packaging and one stamped into the surface of every one, so it's a bit misleading. That said, I don't expect to eat chocolate-covered cookies and not be a total fatass as a consequence.

I don't remember having a problem with jaffa cakes. My only source for them locally does sometimes have old goods, so if I did have a problem with them that would be why. I think I remember my last jaffa cake's covering coming off of the filling separately and that being weird.

If we're headed down this road, I also had a problem with some stale bakewell tarts from the same location.

mm, stale bakewells.

tamtams

Sup guys

btdubs I'm sure you new kids were wondering if I was dead from Afghanistan. Well, I'm not.

I tried meeting up with one of my war buddies, only to be pursued by Brian Dennehy into the woods where I basically beat the shit out of some Deputies until they called the National Guard on me.

That's basically when I got super pissed and stole a machine gun and hunted down Dennehy until my old unit commander told me to cut that shit out...I guess I had a few too many flashbacks...(thanks PTSD) and they sent me off to prison for a while...

Hickman never fucking dies.

So I was sleeping about 10 minutes ago, right? Well the house I'm staying at for a bit, there's a guy here who isn't to fond of me. Well, long story short, he tried kicking my ass while I was asleep, I flipped him over quickly and apparently broke his nose "badly". Now, I think I'm homeless. I think I need help.. ?

Damnit, he bled nearly all over my shit. What the fuck, that's my work clothes.

Your shit was damaged on his property, Sue him.

I knew porn would kill Ron Jeremy but I didn't think it would be from a heart attack. So I suppose this means he can't have sex anymore without the risk of death.

:(

I have a bump on my forearm, it's literally on the bone. No real pain though, only when I push on it with moderate pressure.

You should kill yourself then

That's the fall back plan.

Stop pretending like there is any other plan.

Well, my other plan is to come see you first. So, yes, there is another plan.

Can I have your phone number?

Will you take a picture of yourself, with a sign, that has my name on it? But pose with your back to the camera with the sign taped on your back. Also, you have to be looking back at the camera with a sense of bedazzlement emenating from your eyes.

How tight are you?

Can I double dip?

I say you just cut the arm off.

Okay, get this. Apparently I fractured his face and he's in the emegerncy room now. I think the fucked just wants vicodin, he's a fuckig fiend.

BABS IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE

I am feeling so fucking filthy right now, I need someone to touch me.



awwwww this feels long