Got a free subscription to Spin magazine.

Read the first issue yesterday.

What a bunch of masturbatory product-placement-heavy claptrap about a bunch of bands I care little to nothing about. Rock journalism has gone down the shitter hard.

All I came away with was vague surprise about Patton Oswalt being moderately articulate in an op-ed piece.

woah they still publish spin? that's awful.

i burned my hand/wrist with soup because i'm a fuckwit.

MATLOCK DIED BUT WE STILL HAVE ABE VIGODA

http://www.abevigoda.com

Somewhere there is a Grandpa Simpson crying right now

Speaking of wang cutting, didn't you get yours done at planned parenthood for like $100? I have been putting this off for a year almost and still got no insurances.

God damn I hate the 4th of July. It really brings out the fucking redneck, nationalist, intolerant jerks.

Patriotism is gay.

Son of a bitch. I didn't know died.

Andys die in threes :(

Rooney
Griffith

...

Eric Sykes died. :(

But then maybe the British don't count.

NOT TODAY, FAGS

WOO

Why couldn't it have been andy dick.

I hate that guy.

now i can only whistle the andy griffith theme song while i eat my morning grits with tears in my eyes :(

I passed right by Mt Airy not long ago and didn't stop, now I wish I had, not that it would have meant or changed a damn thing.

I also bypassed the graves of Chang and Eng, the famous Barnum & Bailey conjoined twins who became tobacco farmers and slave owners and baptist deacons.

the BEAUTIFUL MT. AIRY LODGE

I did stop at the world's largest strawberry, though.

*andy dicks touch each other*

Yeah Planned Parenthood was going to charge me a bunch o money, but then I lost my job and they said "How about ten bucks then?"

I used to have ICQ as my instant messenger. That was awesome. Everyone had it and life was great. Than I had to add YIM and AIM because people are fickle and gay. Then MSN and now I'm supposed to Skype? Fuck all ya'll. I don't need to talk to anyone that badly.

I have Skype because I'm going to get rid of my cell phone soon. :\

You don't need that shit in the internet age.

once i tried icq and was like "NUMBERS? FUCKEN GAY" and then i tried yim and some 40-something dude sent me a message and i was like "SERIOUSLY FUCKEN GAY" and now it's 2012 and i still use aim

also skype's lame because i'd feel obliged to pay attention to what's going on, rather than the 8 tabs i have open at any given moment

Just got back from the ER, where I spent a fun-filled 3 hours checking to see if my cat left any chunks of teeth in my hand when he mauled it.

He didn't, but now I have to do a round of Augmentin. Hate Augmentin.

He was freaked out during a bath and now it looks like someone attacked the meat of my hand with a staple remover.

You bathe your cat? I hope you have a proper reason to (which I am sure you do) because otherwise I have no sympathy.

Speaking of cats, my cat is no longer obese! He's cat sized now.

I don't have a cat. I have an ottoman.