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-   -   TO WOMENZ (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69706364)

kahljorn Mar 31st, 2011 11:36 PM

TO WOMENZ
 
DO GUYS/TRANNIES WITH LITTLE BOOBS AND AN AMAZING ASS GROSS YOU OUT

WOULD YOU EVER DATE ONE

IM SO SCARED TO START DATING AGAIN :(

MLE Apr 1st, 2011 12:07 AM

It's not what I personally go for, but that describes one of my very good friends! I don't see any reason why you need to be self conscious about doing what you love. You can't control other people's reactions and emotions, so don't hold yourself accountable for it. Go find someone who isn't retarded! It might take a few tries :>

Esuohlim Apr 1st, 2011 12:17 AM

Dude, you're hot, I'll date you

kahljorn Apr 1st, 2011 12:56 AM

LOL YOURE NOT A WOMENZ

THANKS THOUGH I WOULD PROLLY DATE YOU TOO ;)

I HAVE A PERSONAL CRISIS IN THAT I DONT KNOW WHAT I LOVE ANYMORE. I LOVE WOEMNZZZ BUT I LIKE BEING ONE BUT TRYING TO BE WITH ONE INTERFERES WITH ME GETTING WITH ONE. I SORT OF T HINK I HAVE NARCISSISM OR SOMETHING MAYBE.

Shrubfest Apr 1st, 2011 05:20 AM

Mirror sex?

Go to kink events. Most people there are really nice, surprisingly normal, and very accepting of 'out of the ordinary'. It's also hilarious watching sex dungeons.

(sorry to hear you got broken up, and all that too.)

kahljorn Apr 1st, 2011 12:06 PM

yea, mirror sex i guess but not literally that i like looking at myself but that i transfer the things i like in women onto myself maybe because i think I'm violating women when i think of them sexually. :O

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 2nd, 2011 11:17 PM

I wouldn't mind being a chick except I like bonesaw too much :(

elx Apr 3rd, 2011 01:11 AM

Quote:

I LOVE WOEMNZZZ BUT I LIKE BEING ONE BUT TRYING TO BE WITH ONE INTERFERES WITH ME GETTING WITH ONE.
dude. if you can't find a girl in your everyday then just take shrub's advice. also, I hope you do realize that there are women out there that would literally worship you for your kink -- it's known as "feminization" and it's really popular amongst *BDSM "mistresses."


*you probably shouldn't try these particular circles though. those people sound scary and weird and you'd probably get molested and kidnapped by a giant lady named helga that keeps you in a cave and rips off your toenails and stuff :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 3rd, 2011 01:36 AM

I feel like I would still end up doing all the work if I had a girl peg me though.

kahljorn Apr 3rd, 2011 05:33 AM

I meet a lot of girls who are attracted to me its just that once they start touching me t hey go, "OMG YOU FEEL LIKE A GIRL."
yea you're right though there are a lot of girls who like that kind of stuff, just hard to find them i guess.

WHAT IN THE EHCK IS A BONESAW

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 3rd, 2011 10:02 AM

My dong.

Fathom Zero Apr 3rd, 2011 11:21 AM

:<

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2011 01:12 PM

Girls feel great, why the hell don't girls like feeling other girls? >:

Female heterosexuality is fucked up mang

Zhukov Apr 3rd, 2011 01:24 PM

For the longest time I thought you were a post op gender reassigned surgery woman Kahl. Soz.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 3rd, 2011 02:08 PM

Jealousy milhome

MLE Apr 3rd, 2011 03:25 PM

Girls do feel great! My preference is curvier than he is, though <3

You really should find a dungeon club.

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2011 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 716695)
Jealousy milhome

If I were a woman I'd be such a lesbian slut

elx Apr 3rd, 2011 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 716697)
Girls do feel great!

yes! my favorite is when I go straight from shower -> bed. legs always feel like silk. do you know what I mean? that ones the best :( and our boobs always seem much warmer than the rest of our bodies, so whenever we get cold we can just give ourselves hugs!


what would we even want another girl for? :confused: there's nothing they can offer that we can't already get whenever we want from ourselves or from guys. silly milwhore.

MLE Apr 3rd, 2011 06:21 PM

pffft, the reactions on other girls' faces are worth it!

kahljorn Apr 3rd, 2011 10:31 PM

Quote:

what would we even want another girl for?
:(

MLE Apr 3rd, 2011 10:38 PM

Also, girls know how girls want to be touched. Totally different from a guy's touch.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 3rd, 2011 11:17 PM

Tongue texture is totally different too. Guys usually have rugged tongue s but girls have silky tongues.

kahljorn Apr 3rd, 2011 11:36 PM

THIS THREAD HAS NOW CEASED TO CODDLE ME BUT NOW FASCINATES ME.

MLE Apr 3rd, 2011 11:41 PM

10k, you're totally right. Girls also pay attention to different details than guys do. There are many many reasons why people would want one or the other, so I don't know why elx is saying that girls don't need other girls.

Esuohlim Apr 3rd, 2011 11:50 PM

What I never understood was homosexuals who tried to emulate the opposite sex (butch women, flamboyant men), but if they're trying to attract same sex partners wouldn't they want to act as close to their own gender as possible?

I know if I were a woman attracted to other women I wouldn't want to get with some woman trying to be a guy. Gross.

KAHL DO YOU HAVE A RUGGED OR SILKY TONGUE?

kahljorn Apr 3rd, 2011 11:50 PM

how do i find out what kind of tongue i have

MLE Apr 4th, 2011 12:05 AM

Uh, you might need to get some references.

kahljorn Apr 4th, 2011 01:19 AM

ITS SILKY ON THE OUTSIDE AND ROUGH ON THE INSIDE

executioneer Apr 4th, 2011 10:23 AM

you might need to buff that shit, hold some steel wool in your mouth for a while every day

Zhukov Apr 6th, 2011 03:42 AM

Women can't read maps and men don't check cupboards properly.

executioneer Apr 6th, 2011 04:20 AM

men are from mars and women are from venus, so you need to see if you prefer massive crushing pressure and high temperatures or extremely thin atmosphere with subzero temperatures

executioneer Apr 6th, 2011 04:20 AM

also, do you prefer two tiny moons or no moons at all

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 6th, 2011 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 716802)
Women can't read maps and men don't check cupboards properly.

:lol

Cupboard checking is a learned trait that took me forever to master.

Sam Apr 7th, 2011 11:01 PM

I'VE SLEPT IN THE SAME BED AS KAHLJORN, SO I'M AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT.

BILL SLEPT AT THE FOOT OF THE BED LIKE A DOG.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 7th, 2011 11:07 PM

Cuz that would have been a samwich :(

Esuohlim Apr 7th, 2011 11:33 PM

I BET YOU ALL HAD SUCH SEXY ADVENTURES AT COMIC-CON WITHOUT GOOD OL' LIFE-OF-THE-PARTY MILHOUSE >:

executioneer Apr 8th, 2011 12:20 AM

DOES RIDING IN A ELEVATOR WITH ERIC WAREHIEM COUNT AS A SEXY ADVENTURE

ID WAGER NO :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 8th, 2011 12:45 AM

I don't know if watching adventure time counts either. To tie this back onto the topic we met some sexy tranies, who stole kahljorns camera....and then died. For real.

Fathom Zero Apr 8th, 2011 06:22 AM

I remember asking this before but can't remember the answer. Did your tranny die of the... flu by any chance? I remember the article being ambiguous.

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 8th, 2011 09:15 AM

I think it just said she died of "Overnight complications". I don't remember it specifically stating one thing or the other though. Could always try and track down Mr. Hanna Barbera though and ask him.

MarioRPG Apr 8th, 2011 01:30 PM

It's all fun and games until some tranny dies.

kahljorn Apr 16th, 2011 05:42 AM

i had two dates this week :O :O

Chojin Apr 16th, 2011 09:26 AM

who paid for dinner?

10,000 Volt Ghost Apr 16th, 2011 10:40 AM

DINNER AND ROMANCE

Tadao Apr 16th, 2011 12:27 PM

who paid for romance?

kahljorn Apr 16th, 2011 02:01 PM

:lol i made her pay for her half haha

dating sorta just makes me miss my ex or whatever she is :( it was still fun though

kahljorn May 5th, 2011 01:47 AM

SO LIKE MY EX WAS CALLING ME/TEXTING ME/TELLING ME WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO WORK THINGS OUT/ COMING OVER TO MY HOTEL EVERY day for like three weeks and then all of a sudden she started ignoring me and treating me like crap because she was "used to being alone." Then I quit kissing her ass and told her she was selfish so she got all crazy and blocked me :lol

argg so now she's saying i harassed her for sending her an e-mail. I SENT HER AN AMAZING EMAIL DETAILING ALL OF THE FUCKED UP SHIT SHE DID DURING OUR RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE SHE MADE ME KISS HER ASS AND PRETEND LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT AND IM THINKING OF POSTING IT HERE.

Tadao May 5th, 2011 01:54 AM

Women are jerks

kahljorn May 5th, 2011 02:04 AM

i guess so. Man if there's anything ive learned its that letting other people get away with treating you like shit isnt worth it and it wont make them love you anymore ;/

in fact i think women love you the more you treat them like shit.

Im thinking of posting this email but its kinda long and embarassing and i guess its kinda dumb to do it :lol maybe that's why she thought it was harassment cause its long

CaptainPasty May 5th, 2011 08:13 AM

Women or men, it doesn't matter. Either'll treat you like shit if you let them. Might be worth trying to develop a thing for trees. Anyone know the name for that?

Esuohlim May 5th, 2011 01:23 PM

WOMNEN ARE JERKS, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO LEARN MY TWO FAVORITE SEX POSITIONS:




Fathom Zero May 5th, 2011 01:27 PM

:lol

Tadao May 5th, 2011 01:30 PM

:lol

CaptainPasty May 5th, 2011 02:49 PM

Kinky.

Tadao May 5th, 2011 04:12 PM

Congratulations on ruining a funny moment.

Pentegarn May 5th, 2011 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 719321)
i guess so. Man if there's anything ive learned its that letting other people get away with treating you like shit isnt worth it and it wont make them love you anymore ;/

in fact i think women love you the more you treat them like shit.

Im thinking of posting this email but its kinda long and embarassing and i guess its kinda dumb to do it :lol maybe that's why she thought it was harassment cause its long

Post it, we need some story to have closure after the whole cliffhanger George fiasco

10,000 Volt Ghost May 5th, 2011 06:37 PM

That's amazing Milhouse.

Kahl, clear out your pm box. I tried to defriend her but low and behold she had already defriended me. :lol What a bitch.

King Hadas May 5th, 2011 07:50 PM

Fuck women, that's something I'd like to do right now.

khaljorn don't let this shit get you down bro. That chick was just too thick, she never even realized she was dating the coolest I-mocker around.

CaptainPasty May 6th, 2011 07:59 AM

Thanks Tadao I try my best. And with that, you can all stick it up your collective arse.

Pentegarn May 6th, 2011 08:03 AM

Wait, that is trying your best? :confused

Tadao May 6th, 2011 11:27 AM

Must be a woman.

CaptainPasty May 6th, 2011 11:35 AM

Sorry, I meant to say "beast". I fry my beast... Collective arse.

kahljorn May 6th, 2011 02:26 PM

:lol milhouse that made me laugh so hard. At first i thought it was a penis knocking her out

Quote:

That chick was just too thick
:lol

10,000 Volt Ghost May 15th, 2011 01:10 AM

Just to throw it out there. I shaved my legs the other day and I have to give credit to women in general for shaving their legs. It s a serious pain in the ass.

LordSappington May 15th, 2011 02:27 AM

If you miss ANY hairs, by God they are going to let you know, through intolerable amounts of itchiness.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 15th, 2011 02:35 AM


Esuohlim May 15th, 2011 02:43 AM

lol

10,000 Volt Ghost May 15th, 2011 02:47 AM

:( Dose are my real gams. Just a bad angle cuz I'm diesal too.

MLE May 15th, 2011 12:55 PM

10k, your legs make for quite the believable tranny!

Tadao May 15th, 2011 01:16 PM

He's lucky because he doesn't wear high heels, so he doesn't have varicose veins. I wanna lick those chops. :yum

10,000 Volt Ghost May 15th, 2011 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 721332)
10k, your legs make for quite the believable tranny!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 721347)
He's lucky because he doesn't wear high heels, so he doesn't have varicose veins. I wanna lick those chops. :yum



....actually.

edit: Also, thank you MLE.

MLE May 15th, 2011 05:27 PM

You should get black leather lacing for the side instead of that gold cord. [/critique]

Tadao May 15th, 2011 05:29 PM

Also, he should pad his ass.

MLE May 15th, 2011 05:37 PM

He doesn't have to if he wears the right top.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 15th, 2011 06:17 PM

I think my ass needs less padding. It just looks flat in that. I'll try black string instead. The dress is mainly gold though.

MLE May 15th, 2011 06:21 PM

I just think that the cord looks like it's from some chintzy 80's curtains.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 15th, 2011 07:31 PM

I see what you mean.

kahljorn May 15th, 2011 08:34 PM

:lol

i totally didn't expect that

i thought it was gonna be, WHERES THE FUCKIN EMAIL GEORGE

MarioRPG May 16th, 2011 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MLE (Post 721418)
I just think that the cord looks like it's from some chintzy 80's curtains.

The dazzling veneer of the 1980's.

MLE May 16th, 2011 03:12 PM

All he's missing is the 2" wide tassel.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 16th, 2011 03:29 PM

The tassels are on top.

kahljorn May 21st, 2011 01:56 AM

SO MY EX WONT LET ME GET THE REST OF MY SHIT FROM THE APARTMENT CAUSE SHE BASICALLY LOCKED ME OUT AND FUCKED ME OUT OF THE APARTMENT AND THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE MOVING SHIT OUT SHE SHOWED UP HALFWAY THROUGH AND THREW A FIT AND STOOD OUTSIDE WITH HER ARMS CROSSED UNTIL WE LEFT

I might have to take her to small claims court. :O :O

10,000 Volt Ghost May 21st, 2011 09:15 AM

I want to represent you as a lawyer/attorney/parapalegal.

Chojin May 21st, 2011 09:53 AM

paralegal is like a paratrooper right

10,000 Volt Ghost May 21st, 2011 10:07 AM

yeah, its like the lawyer air force.

kahljorn May 21st, 2011 12:32 PM

MAYBE YOU CAN JUST SKYDIVE ONTO MY OLD PATIO AND GET MY STUFF/ SERVE THAT BITCH PAPERS

Zuggernaut May 22nd, 2011 05:07 PM

this thread is pathetic

is this another famous imockery joke

Pentegarn May 22nd, 2011 09:21 PM

I give this post 4 zugs, rate it chuckleworthy, and give it shiny trophee!

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 5th, 2011 02:17 AM

I was watching some tranny on cam earlier and her body looked good and then I saw her face and she looked like Tasslehoff Burrfoot. Kinda ruined it for me.

ThrashO Jun 5th, 2011 02:43 AM

I was on my way to work yesterday and I ended up blowing the tranny. It was so expensive.

Dimnos Jun 6th, 2011 11:46 PM

If I were a mod I would consider editing your post to say something dumb but then stop because you already beat me to the punch. :\

ThrashO Jun 7th, 2011 04:41 AM

more like beat me to the lunch because i gobbled that trannys balls :blowme

LordSappington Jun 7th, 2011 04:44 AM


Pentegarn Jun 7th, 2011 06:11 AM

Every time ThrashO posts, a baby cries, a puppy dies, and The View gets extended another year :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 3rd, 2011 02:03 AM

Some other cd in my area wants to get together for a photoshoot, kind leaning on the going part.

kahljorn Sep 3rd, 2011 06:05 AM

they'll want to touch your penis

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 3rd, 2011 09:09 AM

I already put a block on that.

kahljorn Sep 3rd, 2011 06:05 PM

that will also receive my veto!

the only cd i ever hung out with tried to touch my penis :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Sep 3rd, 2011 11:08 PM

:(

Veto official

k0k0 Sep 4th, 2011 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 722369)
SO MY EX WONT LET ME GET THE REST OF MY SHIT FROM THE APARTMENT CAUSE SHE BASICALLY LOCKED ME OUT AND FUCKED ME OUT OF THE APARTMENT AND THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE MOVING SHIT OUT SHE SHOWED UP HALFWAY THROUGH AND THREW A FIT AND STOOD OUTSIDE WITH HER ARMS CROSSED UNTIL WE LEFT

I might have to take her to small claims court. :O :O

This kind of happened to me with my first girlfriend 11 years ago. She came home when I was getting all of my shit out of her mom's house. She maced me. I grabbed the expensive chihuahua I bought her while near blinded, ran to my car and locked the door while coughing and drooling. I still have the dog. The girl contacted me 2 years ago to get together but she was really trashy by then. I think she was on meth or something at one point and it showed. She was such a good clean christian when I met her and I had so much fun ruining her values.


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