My Favorite Movie Assholes
 

Automatically generated comment thread for My Favorite Movie Assholes.

I like how I've only ever seen three or four of those movies!

I personally like the sterotypical Evil German Guy from Indiana Jones and The Raiders Of The Lost Ark, the one with the weird hair and the black coat, but Bluto was an awesome choice for lead. Also, hilariously funny. I lol'ed more than six times, which is hard for the Internet to do.

Gotta hate that Johnny Lawrence bastard. By the way, I think that one asshole you certainly overlooked is Biff Tanner from the Back to the Future series.

Almost every movie has a certified asshole, whether they try to or not, so it can be hard to make a condensed list of each.

You can go with Chris Hargensen from Carrie, due to the fact that she caused the main character freak out dumping pigs blood on her while uncontrollably licking her lips. On the same note you can take other villains from Steven King novels, like Jack Nicholson’s character in “The Shining” or Kathy Bates character in “Misery”.

Other assholes include ones from the Indiana Jones series. My favorite would have to be Major Arnold Ernst Toht because he was such a prick and looked a little creepy in those horn-rimmed glasses.

Judge Elihu Smails from Caddyshack or Gregory Marmalard and Douglas C. Niedermeyer from Animal House are also a couple of suggestions of people that can be looked at.

You can go even into the horror genre, but I view most of the supposed villains more as heroes or simply misunderstood people that are trying to clear the world of dimwitted, horny teenagers.

I see that we think alike JJ, that German guy was downright creepy!

If you haven't seen bloodsport then you also nust not own a TV. At any given time you can probably find it on TBS or TNT.

R.J. Fletcher & son, Richard, were a good asshole duo.

Hey, that old dude Grand Moff Tarkin is another asshole I mostly remember for his line regarding his dismissal of the officer's adivce about the Death Star's weakness. Way to go dude, you just screwed yourself by abandoning the only chance to save your ass!

Kathy Bates give me the creeps dude, you can't imagine how many times I failed to catch my sleep because I was fearing she would come around to break my ankles.

There is also Principal Togar from Rock 'n' Roll Highschool. She just could not understand the awesomeness of the Ramones.

Is there some reason we're all ignoring the genre defining asshole? General Zod.

I nominate Shooter McGavin of HAPPY GILMORE fame.

Heheh, he almost made the list this time, especially since I run GeneralZod.net 'n all, but I figured I'd save him for the future... primarily, because I worry he'll kill me with his eye lasers if I talk shit about him.

Keep those suggestions coming everyone... lotta good ones so far. I definitely agree about Biff Tanner and Toht. I'll have to cover those guys in some future installments.

Xur from The Last Starfighter! Everything about that guys screamed prick.

What?? No Harry Flugleman?? I know he only has one scene in Three Amigos, but still, you gotta admire the fact that in one single scene, he manages to end the Amigos careers, take their clothes, their money, and their residence. That's some industrial strength asshole right there.

Fantastic article. And it reminds me of that "asshole" song...

I'm an asshole! And Asshole! An asshole-e-yol-e-yoleeeeee....

General Sark of TRON and Indies Rival, Belloq would both make great Assholes. I really liked Belloq, especially his monolauge at the begining of Raiders. The Big Lebowski has its asshole right in the title. Could you include Starscream, even though he only appeared in one movie and is mostly a T.V. character?

Hey I-Mock (RoG, Proto, Burbank) just want to let you know you're making my Summer better. I've been enjoying the break but am bored shitless in this small town (my last year so am out early so friends are still in + work) so I started looking back over I-Mock for movie suggestions and just general humour :) and you've introduced me [so far] to stuff like "Falling Down" and just today "Bloodsport" awesome movies! I'll be checking back over the site for more obviously - and on this list - but just wanted to say thanks for entertaining me these past few years and introducing me to and getting great movies like these the attention and exposure they are due. Keep on with the humour because you're all awesome at it.

Hans Gruber and Colonel Grant from the first two Die Hard movies.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson (Paul Gleason) from Die Hard and Carmine Lorenzo (Dennis Franz) from Die Hard II are probably better choices. And I was mistaken - it's Colonel Stuart and Major Grant as the two villains in Die Harder. (I should fact check before posting <sigh>)

You left out the biggest asshole in the universe: Starscream. I'm not talking about his pussy ass 2007 movie version, no, I'm talking about the G1 and the new Animated version. Since the very beginning of the franchise he's been trying to get rid of Megatron and become the new leader of the Decepticons. For example, in the 86 movie when Megatron got his ass handed to him by a barely functioning Prime, Starscream threw old Megatron out of Astrotrain in the middle of space! Though he was reduced to ash afterwards during his coronation ceremony by Galvatron, I wont deny that, he was still an asshole when he died!

Absolutely - The Tannen Family from the Back to the Future movies - assholes from (at least) 1885 until (at least) 2015 - "Mad Dog" to Griff. Specializing in everything from name calling, bullying, attempted homicide, actual homicide, and, of course, attempted rape.

- and hey, what about Vernon Wells - not only did he play psycho-with-a-man-slave-on-a-leash asshole Wez in The Road Warrior - but also played the chain mail wearing to hide the paunch Bennett in Commando :P

- or Uncle Les from Braindead/Dead Alive

I've only seen one of those movies... I fail :(

I'm in complete agreement with McFly about Chris Hargensen from Carrie. But when it comes to complete assholes in movies, I always go with Harry Cooper from The Night of the Living Dead, particularly him in the 1990 color remake (at least in the original he helped a little bit. In the remake he was an unhelpful dick throughout the entire film).

Ooh! Ooh! I vote for Rhodes from DAY OF THE DEAD!

After the legendary "Choke on 'em!" moment, I always love to say, "Where we're going, we don't need... Rhodes."

heh, bluto

Holy shit, this will be a great series-- and the reader suggestions have been fantastic.

The first ones that popped to mind-- Toht from RAIDERS and Harry Cooper from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (either version, although the '90 version owns every other, IMHO)-- have been nominated already. I'll suggest Michael Rooker's variation on R.J. Fletcher, in MALLRATS, Alec Baldwin in GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (not just an asshole, but an asshole with dialogue by David Mamet-- "Coffee's for closers!"), and Henry Gibson in THE BLUES BROTHERS. And would there even be a yardstick for movie assholery without John Cazale's work in THE GODFATHER and THE GODFATHER PART II? "It's what Pop wanted!" "It's not what I wanted!" King Asshole.

Desert, you reminded me that there are so many assholes in Blues Brothers, from Illinois Nazis to Carrie Fischer, that it could probably come up in future installments of this article.

Dude, Clubber Lang. He killed The Penguin.

Clubber Lang? What about IVAN DRAGO? HE killed Apollo Creed, and who could forget the line, "If he dies, he dies."

Great list! Kudos for UHF and The frighteners. But how can you mention Milton without his best line "You can't hurt me as I'm wearing a STEEL BREASTPLATE!!!!!!!!"

If I may suggest for the next list Richard Vernon (The Breakfast Club) and Bill Lumbergh (Office Space).

R.J. Fletcher and Walter Peck are definately admirable additions to any Asshole list

I never figured out why Trini Alvarado (Dr. Lucy) didn't scream to get away from him near that bit at the end. It's what I would have done. Ah well. Drama, I suppose.

Seconded! The same with the 80's Starscream comments. He's such a conniving little worm, isn't he? I always use him as an example for Neutral Evil when I'm trying to explain it to non/new gamers.

Ones I'd like to nominate are Ed Rooney from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and Johner (Ron Perlman) from "Alien Resurrection." If I have to explain Rooney, you've obviously been living under a rock. Johner, though, I just remember thinking what an asshole he was all through the movie, given his attitude and how he treated the rest of the crew.

Come to think of it, I might also say Riddick, from "Pitch Black." Yeah, he's the "hero" of the story, but face it, he's still an asshole *laughs*

Great article.

I'd have to go ahead and suggest Francis Buxton from Pee-wee's Big Adventure.

I second Ed Rooney from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off".
Such a prick.

But in his own whiny ass way so was Cameron.

my favorite movie, assholes

I would include that asshole Telly from "Kids".

Great idea for a series, look forward to the next.

Pretty good thus far. But the fact that you mentioned Viking Lofgren and failed to mention that he played another awesome asshole is criminal. I'm talking about Victor Kruger from Highlander of course. A quintessential asshole character who has been an asshole since the middle ages.

I'd also like to nominate Luther from The Warriors. He was an asshole to everyone throughout the entire film and was creepy and unpleasant to go with it the majority of the time.

Great list. Looking forward to the next. One of my favorite assholes has got to be "Dr. Hill" from "Re-Animator". He's the one and only decapitated zombie asshole. If you are going to include cartoon assholes, might a suggest the biggest cartoon asshole of all time "Bugs Bunny". That smug bastard! Why couldn't they just let Fudd blow a soup-can sized hole through his head, just once?

Great list Rog...and great additions.

Yet one of (in my opinnion) the biggest assholes has not been mentioned;
Gunnery Sergant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket.
Man that guy was an epipeth of asshole-ism.
Who can forget lines like:

"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"

AND

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

I'd like to nominate that guy who punches Bruce Willis twice after giving him a cigarette in The Last Boy Scout, and Johnny The Boy from Mad Max. Such a weasly sycophantic little prick.

How about Teddy Beckersted and his father from One Crazy Summer or Eddie Arkadian and Sho'nuff from The Last Dragon?

I'd like to nominate Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg from The Fifth Element. Gary Oldman was awesome as Zorg. His assholeness, of course, can be seen during the speech he gives to Father Cornelius when they first meet.

I think that we might be missing one of the most prolific assholes: Darth Vader. Not the petty, whiny version in the prequels; but the heartless one in New Hope and Empire. Jedi he started to show a little emotion towards his son, which was his ultimate downfall.

I originally thought this was going to be pornographic in some way.

You forgot leif garret's role in the outsiders, nothing screams asshole like those curls.

Yeah, and he was also the main asshole prison guard in The Shawshank Redemption and the asshole evil preacher in Carnivale... Clancy clearly knows how to play bad guys well. Viking just happens to be one of my favorites of his, because as big of an asshole as he is, he gets his ass handed to him throughout the film. Definitely can't say that about Victor Kruger heheh...

And thanks to all of you for posting so many good suggestions... keep 'em coming! You're definitely giving me plenty to work with here! :picklehat

Scorpio from Dirty Harry.

Well, yeah, but Ivan Drago was a huge guy who hit people really hard. Apollo Creed was a boxer, and he killed him in the ring boxing the hell out of him. Burgess Meredith got killed because he got in Mr. T's way. Oh, and Mr. T held a press conference to say he was going to rape Talia Shire. I mean, dude.

I hereby nominate Nash, portrayed by Jim Varney, from Ernest Goes to Jail. He has Ernest locked up, he stole his girlfriend and his house, alienated his friends, and threw his dog Rimshot in the trash.

I have to nominate Chet Donnelly(Bill Paxton) from Weird Science. He spends the whole movie tormenting Gary and Wyatt and then gets himself turned into a huge pile of shit. That's pretty hardcore assholism. I really can't argue with the list and the other suggestions. There are some true assholes there.

ohmygawd! I totally second the Chet nomination. To this day, everytime I make myself breakfast, I remember how he stole Wyatt's, spit in it and then said, "now make yourself some." It's totally worse too because they're brothers.

How can you forget the Captain from "Pan's Labyrinth"?!?!

Hedley Lamarr from Blazing Saddles. Not only is he an asshole but he loves his froggy in the tub.

What about some of Tim Curry's roles? He can play a good asshole, and a creepy one to top it off.

almost anything Bruce Campbell played in... Ash in 'Army of Darkness'... Elvis in 'Bubba Ho Tep' I mean he's not like a maniacal asshole, just an <i>asshole</i> asshole ya know? Like when Ash forgets his line in the cemetary... all I could think was "What an asshole...."

Three Words... Judge Elihu Smails

Played by Ted Knight in the epic classic, Caddyshack. Not only did he have great memorable one-liners like, "Spaulding get your foot off the boat!", "Don't you people have homes?", and "Well the world needxs ditch diggers too." But he wrote a beutiful poem about being an asshole.

It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stack market beat
But the man worth while
Is the man who can smile
When his shorts are too tight in the seat

Nothing says smuggness like that. He's so much of an asshole that he makes Ty Webb (a tremendous asshole character) seem like a charming guy throughout the whole movie.

Perhaps a drama movie like 'This boy's life' is not really suitable for a list like this one, but for me there is no bigger asshole then Dwight (Robert DeNiro)

Seeing the Judge Smails poem reminded me of another lyrical asshole...Dom Deluise's Melvin P. Thorpe from "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." I mean, nobody thought twice about the Chicken Ranch until he decided to put it on television. Even when I was younger, I was booing him *laughs*

And another Atherton asshole...Jerry Hathaway from "Real Genius" (and his sidekick, Kent, played by Robert Prescott) Not only did they make life miserable for the main characters, they totally lied about their plans for the laser.

Jerry Hathaway! Now that's an asshole I haven't heard about in years. He was asshole of Walter Peck proportions.

"What are you looking at? You're laborers, you should be laboring. That's waht you get for not having an education."

I noticed Viking Lonfgren was played by Clancy Brown. That's the guy who played Kurgan, the huge bad guy Mcleod had to defeat in the end of Highlander. Now putting your enemies girlfriend in a car with you as you play chicken at high speed through the streets of New York. Now that's an asshole!

I gotta agree with Bolo Yung being on the list.. man that guy is scary!

I'm glad people mentioned Hans Gruber, Francis Buxton, Shooter Mcgavin, and Luther. Some suggestions of my own would be Dick Jones(or Cohagen...), Stiffler, John Goodman or Ted McGinley in Revenge of the Nerds, That weasely guy or the entire O'doyle family from Billy Madison, The evil German ping pong champ in Balls of Fury, and the entire Spursbury Police Department(and Farva) from Super Troopers.

BRICK TOP.

And Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, even though he eventually learns his lesson.

But my numero uno pick goes to Clarence Bodickker.

Hey ROG
I was just submitting that according to IMDB Walter Peck will be rearing his ugly head again this fall when The Ghostbusters game comes out for the XBOX360, hopefully it will be better than that exact movie to video game release of the Ghostbusters for the NES. Also a couple of my favorite movie assholes are: Sylvester Stallone as Machine Gun Joe Viterbo in Death Race 2000, and Michael DeLuise as Matt Wilson, the bully in Encino Man. SHUSH

Scutt Farkas from "A Christmas Story"

Finally someone who actually likes the movie Popeye.

Wow, great list. The on tremendous asshole I remember that wasn't named yet (and kinda fitting giving the recent article on Patrick Swayze's 'Renegades') would be Brad Wesley from 'Road House'. Bullying town people, setting farms on fire, crushing all the cars in a car salesman's yard... Sure, he didn't do all this stuff himself, but doing all this crap through his cronies makes him an even bigger asshole - especially since he's such a dick towards his employees throughout the whole movie.

That, and he killed Wade Garrett. What an asshole.

How about Gene Wilder in Charlie and the Chocolate factory?

"But...Mr. Wonka..."
"GOOD DAY SIR!"

Also, The hunchback from 300. What a dick.

The soda can scene in "Bad Boys" is one of the greatest moments in cinematic history. I still get chills of pure elation every time I watch that shit.

There is some top arsehole-age going on there Rog. I have to agree with whoever said Shooter McGavin, that dude is a top-notch arsehole. "Choke on that BABY !!!!"

Cooper from Night of the Living Dead. Gotta have him on the next list.

Hardy Jenns from Some Kind of Wonderful.

James Spader in Pretty in Pink.

The principal in The Breakfast Club.

FRANCIS from Pee Wee's Big Adventure!!

What about Mallrats? That movie had two assholes for the price of one! Also I'd have to say Ash form Army of Darkness. yeah, he is the good guy, but he's still an asshole. And let's not forget about the "Extreme Sports Punks" from Harold and Kumar.
My final suggestion is something I don't think anyone would say: Lord Rothbart from The Swan Princess!! No really, That guy is pure asshole set in human form!!
There are more, but they have been said already, I think!

Great article! can't wait for the next one!

I LOVED/HATED R.J. Fletcher!!!

Don't think anyone has mentioned Chaka Luther King (Chris Rock) from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. This guy screamed arsehole, especially in the way he just rides poor Jamie Kennedy's assistant character. Still a very, very funny character, even though he's only in it for about 10 minutes or so. Pure arseholeage.

finally someone who mentions sgt hartmann from full metal jacket
other assholes worth considering:
the captain from "pan's labyrinth" i mean, he smashes a dude's face with a gun!
javier bardem's character in "no country for old men" for shooting people with a compressor and just being all psychotic
idi amin dada from "the last king of scotland" though not a swacko as the real amin, he dismembers onw of his wives for being unfaithful, and to make it worse she was pregnant.
although he's been mentioned in another article, definately ichi the killer!
and who could forget steve stifler!
white from "dodgeball"
the mongolian dude from "the quest" which after bloodsport is van damme's best movie!!
definately jp from "grandma's boy" adios turdnuggets!!
and that's all for now!! to protoclown, you should definately consider the assholes thing as a long term project, it's just too many assholes to mention.

Older Films
Mr. Potter from "It's A Wonderful Life". The Alpha and Omega of rich, business tycoon assholes.
Lord Ravenhurst from "The Court Jester" will finish you off with a mere snap of his fingers.
While somewhat likable, Max Bialystock from "The Producers" ought to qualify just for preying on the loneliness of little old ladies.

Modern Films
Biff Tannen, any age.
Cloverfield. Pick a character, any character.
Mr. Teatime from "The Hogfather".

Groups
The E-XTREME sports punks who listen to Wilson Phillips from "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle".
The entire bridge and gunnery crews of Spaceball One, literally.

Agent Smith from the Matrix films! The burly brawl scene alone surely warrants him a place and of course his constant asshole-ish dialogue especially in that scene from the first film with Morpheus when he's ranting about mankind: "I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it"

I was so glad to see The Frighteners mentioned here. I love that movie.

continuing with my choice for assholes
instructor zim from "starship troopers" for throwing a knife at ace's hand with the argument that "enemy cant press the button if you disable his hand". he had a point, but that doesnt take away the fact that he's an asshole
king edward I from "braveheart"
devo from "friday"
mr burns from "the simpsons"
pretty much everyone that picks on bobby boucher on "the waterboy" but specially Coach Red Beaulieu
tony montana

What about that REALLY Christian women from The Mist? She was the biggest assshole I've ever seen. D:

Couple more:

-R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket
-Fisher Stevens as 'The Plague'/the corporate hacker/security guru from Hackers

Obadiah Hakeswill from Sharpe

Some people here need to tighten their definition of "movie asshole" just that little bit.

Kurt Fuller has always played a splendid asshole over the years. He truly has honed the skills of being kind of a jerk and having a jerk-like face... but he's still a professional. >:[

I would have to say Werner Herzog in Julien-Donkey Boy. Mostly because he tried to make his son wear his dead mother's wedding dress and dance with him for $5.

We can't deny it any longer people.

Colonel Dietrich is the best movie asshole.

I've got a pair of assholes no one's mentioned. The Vega Brothers.

Vic Vega appears in Reservoir Dogs. Now, shooting an innocent clerk, kidnapping a police officer, cutting off his ear (while DANCING to Stealer's Wheel, no less), and dousing him in gasoline are bad. The jewel in the asshole crown, however, is his first appearance in the movie. We first see Vega leaning against a hearse with a Big Kahuna Burger cup in his hand. Shortly afterwards, he shows Mr. White and Mr. Pink the cop he kidnapped. This means on the way to the hideout, he went through a Big Kahuna drive-thru with a kidnapped cop in his trunk.

Vincent Vega appears in Pulp Fiction. Throughout the course of the movie, Vincent dismisses any sort of spiritual talk from Jules, shoots Marvin in the head and immediately palms off any sort of responsibility, chastises the man responsible for helping them out for not saying please, sticks Jules on the harder of the two cleanup tasks, calls Butch a palooka (term for a boxer taking a dive), again insults anything Jules has to tell him, insults the waiter at Jack Rabbit Slim's and the five-dollar shake on the menu, leaves high-grade heroin in the coat he gives to Mia, and crashes his car on Lance's house after Lance told him to stay away. This is all in chronological order, not in assholishness order or movie order.

a few more assholes:
Castor Troy from "faceoff", does it matter if he's played by travolta or cage? hell no!!
Ernie Mccraken from "kingpin" bill murray does a heck of a good job playing this asshole who breaks our heroe's wrist!
dorian from "the Mask" specially after he wears the mask!!
and of course, eric cartman

after watching the dark knight, the joker!
professor klump's evil alter ego buddy lover from "nutty professor"
the butcher from "gangs of new york"

At the risk of seeming obnoxious, the quote from the Frighteners is, "violation of my territorial bubble," and the only reason I mention it is because those particular words are different than what you usually hear, and a further credit to the quote.

Walter Peck appeared in an episode of The Real Ghostbusters as well.

I wanted to toss a couple your way, also. Curtis Mooney from Killer Klowns from Outer Space was definitely an asshole, and a paranoid one at that. He refused to believe there was an alien clown invasion right up until the rubber nose was staring him in the face. Also, Dean Wormer from Animal House... actually, just about any Dean from any college movie would fit here, I think.

Excellent article, I clicked on it especially after I saw R.J. Fletcher's face on the link.

Do you ever have a list of "Non-Movie Assholes"? Because I would love to be on that list yo.

How has no one metioned OTTO from BEETLEJUICE? That one seems so obvious! He made me angry just to look at!

McFly: The Ramones do rock so hard and that dumbass principal could not feel the punk!

Call him lame if you want, but I always thought Ivan Ooze from the Power Rangers movie was a total ass.

Great list! I'm amazed (and thrilled) that you've got Bluto on there.

A few suggestions of mine: Biff Tanon and all of his variations from the Back to the Future triology (Micheal J. Fox really meets some jerks in his movies, huh?)

Also, Bud Frump, from How to Succeed in Business Without Even Trying.

Ahahaha! What a great list of A-holes! The best one in my opinion is Milton Dammers. He was such a class A Asshole that he was so perfect for that role!

Waaaaaaaaiiiiiiit a second... where the hell is Rhodes from Day of the Dead? He had asshole written all over him!

And also, don't forget Cap. Vidal from Pan's Labyrinth. As with typical Fascists, he just metaphorically screams, "ASSHOLE!"

Sho Nuff from the Last Dragon