I-Mockery Forum - Hellboy II

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- - Hellboy II (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69700252)

Where's the thread for this debacle? I didn't see one so I'm making my own. I made a conscious decision not to see trailers or spoilers, or listen to reviews as I wanted it to be a purely unadulterated experience.

1) The CGI was cool. I guess.
2) It sucked giant, saggy, old man balls.

Spoilers!
The first thing I noticed was that David Hyde Pierce wasn't the voice of Abe Sapien in this sequel. That disappointed me. Not so much that it wasn't the same, but that I could tell. One of the first scenes has Abe and Jeffrey Tambor walking through the facilities, and it smacked of Men In Black. Do. Not. Want. There were several scenes where it appeared as though Hellboy's head was disproportionately large compared to his body. He seemed larger in the first movie. Did Hellboy do Atkins or something? When they went in to the Troll Market it felt like a cheap version of the Star Wars III cantina. Too many attempts at making "cute" creatures. Tooth fairies? Come on! And the bouncing bean elemental? And the "tumor" baby on the ghoul? GTFO. I'm here to see some bloody action. Not to hear girls in the audience go, "Aaawwwwww! How cuuuuute!" /shudder Did anyone else want to throw their bucket of popcorn at the screen during the scene when ol' girl tells Hellboy she's pregnant? And then at the end when makes a reference to his "child" and she corrects him using a plural tense? Effin'. Geh. The whole scene where Hellboy actually meets death was entirely too succinct. That in itself could comprise a good 30 minutes of film IMO. They should have made that far more interesting. I'm also supposed to believe that an entire race of noble, magical elfish-like-people have been living in Manhattan sewers for eons. Oh, and golden flakes of IDKWTF rain down on them while they congregate around the elf king. In a feckin' sewer. In New York. Oh, and I l loved all the natural lighting down there BTW.

There were too many disappointments and discrepancies to list here. It's almost like they tried to fit 4 hours worth of plot in to 2 hours, but then said "eff it" because the shortest path from point A to point B is to just feckin' forget about points!

Bad Guillermo, bad!

I, for one, enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting anything out of it considering the first one wasn't anything special either.

It looked good. Lost of action and humor. I actually really liked the fact that the CGI was mixed with old school rubber suits and special FX.

Discussing the reality of elves in a sewer assumes that they were actually in a sewer and not on some other plane. Hellboy and the gang did enter the City of the Golden Army by walking through an arch. Not to mention we're talking about a demon spawn, trolls and all manner of magical creatures in the first place - reality sort of takes a back seat.

Me thinks your expectations were too high. If it's of any comfort, it's likely you'll never see a third as the movie hasn't made a profit yet and has about $20-40 million to go before it does.

i enjoyed it and i guess the debacle is in the weekly review of the movie

I asked this question a few weeks back when this was the IMokery movie review but I never got an answer. Can anyone who has read the comic tell me if these "elves" ever even in the comic? Or even ever mentioned?

i doubt it i think the comic concentrates around nazis but then again i just read one lol

the elves are referred to, but not shown <never read bprd though>, Mignola was involved so I'm alright with it.

The studio forced the MIB intro feel, anything to get HellboyII made, huh GdT? he'd better not compromise on Hobbit <fear the coming of SMAUG!!!>

and the fanboy in me screams "Episode III cantina? You FUCKING MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!"
Episode IV, PLEASE

They should of known better than to release so close to dark knight, think they're banking on dvd sales. Hoping for loads of extra scenes.