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-   -   FORUM EVENT: "SECRET SANTA 2006!" (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22966)

snoogans Dec 8th, 2006 08:49 AM

hahah the sequel lives up to the original! just like Back To The Future.

Ninjavenom Dec 8th, 2006 09:09 AM

Sincerely sorry for my sending delay, i got shafted into night shifts this week, but i am sending them out tonight before 9, hopefully with expedited shipping.

Grislygus Dec 8th, 2006 01:36 PM




































Emu Dec 8th, 2006 02:00 PM

winner

poppers620 Dec 8th, 2006 02:35 PM

i took my pics last night to post for my story, bu ti ended up with like 20 something pics. is there a limit to how many pics i can post in my story if i shrink them down pretty small?

MarioRPG Dec 8th, 2006 02:38 PM

I dont think so, specially since Grissly posted like, 19.

Excellent work Gus.

EDIT: Except for that extra picture of the box in the middle...?

Esuohlim Dec 8th, 2006 02:53 PM

Oh no Pub Lover has Misdemonar's address now :(

Rabid Child Dec 8th, 2006 02:56 PM

How Was Dawn of The Mummy? Movie wise?

Grislygus Dec 8th, 2006 03:11 PM

Everlubbin' crap, the extra pic with the blocked out address was supposed to replace the picture with the address left in. Serves me right for not previewing my posts. Misdemonar, sorry buddy, but it looks like you might get kidnapped and raped in the near future. I'd head for the hills.


Dawn of the Mummy was really fun, I'm quite pleased with it. It has a surprisingly catchy/awesome Cabana themesong throughout, the boring first part is healthily mockable, and the final action packed gorefest was nicely done. The commentary track is actually pretty damned interesting, too. It has the director talking a lot about Middle Eastern cinema. It's everything you want in one of these campy horror flicks.


-
SPOILERZZ
-

Easily my favorite part of the movie was right before the gorefest/clusterfuck ending.

It's at a huge wedding celebration, when a groom walks in to his bride-to-be's tent, only to find her corpse lying on a table with six zombies (er, mummies) digging in like she's a buffet table. Everybody freaks out, the cabana music starts roaring, and mummies appear freaking EVERYWHERE and start snagging people, chowing down a bit, then lunging at someone else. Awesome.


EDIT: Damnit all to hell, how many times do I have to fix the damned thing?

Emu Dec 8th, 2006 03:40 PM

I got Hickman's package and I must say I HAVE THINGS IN STORE

Mockery Dec 8th, 2006 03:54 PM

Haha great pics 'n story Grisly, that's the kind o' work everybody should put into their picture stories. I don't know why, but everytime I look at that Mummy chugging the jug o' milk, I start laughing.

And to answer poppers620's question, no there is no limit to how many pics you guys can post for a story. Post as many as you like!

randomskyfears Dec 8th, 2006 05:52 PM

all the stories this year are awesome so far. good work to both jixby and grisly. i think jixbys sequel was better than the 1st, much like rock and roll high school forever. and as with that movie, i am waiting for the next in the set to come out.

and grisly, love that zombie drinking milk. made my day

still waiting for my package to come so i can contribute

Protoclown Dec 8th, 2006 06:00 PM

Jixby, part two was awesome.

And Grislygus, nice story! The mummy pics are great!

Misdemonar Dec 8th, 2006 06:33 PM

my present has not come yet. MY SHAME :(

liquidstatik Dec 8th, 2006 07:02 PM

mine hasn't either =[

Chojin Dec 8th, 2006 07:21 PM

mine did but I'm waiting for emily to come home to take pictures before i spill the beans :X

Microshock Dec 8th, 2006 07:36 PM

mine came though....i will be picking it up from the post office tomorrow

which is a saturday

which is december 9, 2006

^
Thats history right there.

Preechr Dec 8th, 2006 07:56 PM

Still waiting.............


.............





...Great stuff so far. Can't wait to be a part of it in some way.

liquidstatik Dec 8th, 2006 08:09 PM

i hope i can be funny with my gifts ;o

Jixby Phillips Dec 8th, 2006 10:25 PM

heres a new installment from me, jixby phillips

Part 3: Alien Drool + Elvis Lives Trading Cards

Previous Parts:

Part 2: Silly Putty + Wax Lips
Part 1: Spengler

Grislygus Dec 8th, 2006 10:26 PM

So much for priority mail, the post office assured me my package would arrive in three days at the latest.

Esuohlim Dec 8th, 2006 10:45 PM

Jixby I'm sorry about this but you have a huge Chandler from "Friends" thing going on when you're reading the URL at about 3:34 :(

Jixby Phillips Dec 8th, 2006 10:48 PM

I don't watch that program whats he like? is he funny?

snoogans Dec 8th, 2006 10:54 PM

So, I learned something today. Mummies, although dead, need their calcium.

Grislygus Dec 8th, 2006 10:57 PM

Healthy bones, man.

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 11:01 AM

Alrighty, the weekend is here, let's see some more o' them photo stories from those of you who've received your gifts already. :o

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 11:36 AM

ok i got my package from seththomas and it is mad cool.

Thanks seth for all the cool stuff

I will be posting my pic story today or tomorrow..

is it ok if i look like im in 4th grade but im in 9th?

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 11:48 AM

:lol

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 9th, 2006 12:52 PM

Im sending Seth new presents. And Im going to overnight it. I hope Seth wont hate me anymore :(

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 12:55 PM

>:

Chojin Dec 9th, 2006 01:09 PM

Why did you even bother to send him shit in the first place

Esuohlim Dec 9th, 2006 01:11 PM

Is Seth then obligated to take time out of his busy schedule to do yet another story out of new presents just because of zelda's fuck up?

That's not very fair man

Comrade Rocket Dec 9th, 2006 02:32 PM

this is lame, not only have i not received my present, but i also have not seen my present recevied.

I WANT FREE STUFF :(

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 9th, 2006 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin
Why did you even bother to send him shit in the first place

Because Im poor.

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 9th, 2006 02:59 PM

Shit I forgot to say this. I sent it and I asked for overnight and they said it should be there on moday. So if it isnt there its partially their fault. Its mostly my part though because I suck.

Misdemonar Dec 9th, 2006 03:07 PM

I think if your not rich enough to do this, you should get out of your cardboard box and go find womti and hang with him ;<

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 03:51 PM

And here I didn't sign up because I didn't think I could handle the task of finding a super cool gift to find someone. It turns out all you have to do to be an awesome secret santa is actually purchase something. :( I could have been a legend.

Sam Dec 9th, 2006 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan
I hope Seth wont hate me anymore :(

HAHAHAHAHAHA TOO LATE EVERYONE HATES YOU

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 04:17 PM

i cant wait to see my persons story :D

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 9th, 2006 04:51 PM

Story time. I know you wont like it but :(

So I get home and look to the right of the door! A box! Yay! Whats inside? A card? My my my!





Okay.

Hey look a present! What is it? Its fucking huge!!



Its round and stuff. I open it and I dont find a ball. Something I didnt know existed.



A fucking duckie! I always wanted a huge fucking duck! YEAH!!

Next!

A square present Maybe this one wont have animals!





Fuck I was wrong. Its a unicorn. I dont like it. I feel gay having to have this thing in my room. :(

Next! I know this will have animals too! I just know it!



As you can see I was very disappointed at this point. I dont like animals. I have 4 cats and... Yeah Ill open it now.



WHAT.



THE.


FUCK. Hey look theres a crack on this "Jesus Mirror". Lets fix it!

(After many hours of taping it and other things trying to fix it I finally fixed the crack. I turn it over and it lights up and talks to me!)





YOU. ARE A CHEAP FUCKER. YOU FUCKED OVER SETH YOU BASTARD!

Damnit jesus leave me alone! Now do something other mirrors do! Like when that girl asked whos the prettiest of them all or something!

That was a witch. Fuck your retarted too? Dad damnit! Fine.. Ask me...cheap fucker..

Mirror, mirror, in my hand. Whos the prettiest man in the land?



I knew that was coming

This is God!



Whoa! Are you talking to me!

Yeah you fucking idiot! Everyone up here hates you! Along with Satan! Great job! Your going to purgatory for being a cheap bastard and you fucked over someone who didnt deserve it!

Fuck.



:( See. I knew I should have sent money. :(

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 05:03 PM

why couldnt u have shipped one of your cats to seth?

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 9th, 2006 05:03 PM

...You know that would have been a better idea.

randomskyfears Dec 9th, 2006 05:14 PM

why do you not like that unicorn thing? from what i can tell, it looks like it stabs people and is called the avenging unicorn. i would love to have that, its awesome

randomskyfears Dec 9th, 2006 05:21 PM

and i just got what that card was. i thought it was a ham in the stocking at 1st. i want to get one of those for someone now

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 05:35 PM

Zelda, all of those gifts are completely awesome. Especially the card. Do you realize how hard it would have been not to just shit in a box or send you a knife and pray you trip and fall on it after realizing who you're buying for? I don't know Shannon, but her soul must be as pure and beautiful as a fresh layer of snow on a crisp Christmas morn. It almost makes me want to vomit. Seriously kid, get your shit together ASAP.

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 05:38 PM

MY SECRET SANTA STORY OF 2006!
 
Welcome to my secret Santa story of 2006

Warning: Extremely small child in story.


So i came out of the toilet and WTF A PACKAGE! Hey it's from Seth T Pace?Seth....Tot.......Pace? Seth.....Tragan....Pace? Whatever...I'll find out.



Oh its SethThomas....ok.



Item 1: A picture of John Wayne



A pink monkey with flailing arms...Nice



EDIBLE THONGS! I ALWAYS WANTED THESE! Support for your
jelly bellies and you can eat it




A DVD called 'I was a Teenage Faust'



JAckie Chan ADVENTURES! OMG THE MUST HAVE GAME OF THE CENTURY AND I HAVE IT



Hey come here bitch, my name is John Wayne and i have a quest for you...Get thru all my obstacles and you will get a Wii



And so i was off on my quest given to me by John Wayne. But all of a sudden

HALT! I AM THE MONKEY LORD...YOU MUST SUCK MY COCK TO GET THRU!



NEVER!



YOu WILL SUCK MY COCK! IM GONNA CHOKE YA!



Die you pink lump of PUBIC HAIR!



I surrender...As a gift of you beating me...i will give you my most prized possesion...It's my thong and it tastes good too.*Dies*



Oh YAY! THERE IT IS!



*Gobble* *Gobble*



Oh man those were good, i gotta continue Stop! To get thru me you have to beat my game or suck my cock!



Fine! *MASSIVE GAMING ATTACK*



Oh my circuits...How did you do it? For beating me you get this movie....watch it and your journey will come to an end. *Dies*



Oh theres the movie....i Just gotta watch it and that's it




90 MINUTES LATER.......

Congratulations! You have won the Wii....Naaa im bullshitting...It was all a scam to get you to watch the DVD which emmited rays that will make you die in 60 years...



You MOTHERFUCKER! GIVE ME THE WII!



Fine....*cough* Just let me die.....*Vanishes*



Yes! I GOT THE WII!!!!!




HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM NINTENDO!

zeldasbiggestfan Dec 9th, 2006 05:43 PM

I actually loved the duck. But dude wow. Microshock how old are you?

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 05:46 PM

im 14...read the warning in the beginning.

Sethomas Dec 9th, 2006 05:55 PM

The cigar is neglected! The cigar is an adventure in itself! And it's perfect for 14-year-olds!

Sam Dec 9th, 2006 05:57 PM

Hahahaha I bet his mom took it away from him. AS WELL SHE SHOULD. >:

I got my package today and it's awsome. I'll post pics later. :eek

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 05:59 PM

Naaaa that cigar just smelled....i opened it and it smelled like piss

I wouldve used it if it wasnt wet...

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 06:00 PM

hey microshock, i thought it was kinda funny how you made your teeth perfect in that last picture :o

p.s. i feel bad
i didn't send out like a million gifts, i only sent 2 things
but they're cool things
and costs lots!

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 06:03 PM

yea......did you like my story though?

i did my best to make it enjoyable but i guess now ppl will just complain about how young i look...


: ( >:

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 06:04 PM

lol i dont read :x
the pictures were good, though! :D

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 06:05 PM

I felt it was a charming and surprisingly refreshing romp into the fantasyworld of a 14 years young boy. Bravo.

noob3 Dec 9th, 2006 06:05 PM

if i was 14 that cigar'd be in my mouth right now and it'd be smokin'

wet or not u ungreatful fuck!

FartinMowler Dec 9th, 2006 06:08 PM

:lol that kid looks like he's 9

GADZOOKS Dec 9th, 2006 06:11 PM

What bad parents, I would of suspected any package my barely teenage son would get. And if I found those things I would take back the Nintendo Wii. It's like the kid's bidding at EGay.com

Seth, you should of sent him more responsible parents.

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 06:13 PM

You know, that's a pretty good point. Your parents weren't suspicious at all? Did they look through anything? Or did you just get home before they did on the day of arrival?

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 06:15 PM

i told them that i was expecting a package and then no one was home when they delivered it

so i picked it up at the post office later...its not like theres anything that bad

the worst is probably the thongs....

seriously stop fucking around with the young jokes also guys....

read the warning in the beginning

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 06:17 PM

Most of them probably stem from jealousy, young man. Be glad you can still believe in things like Santa Claus and World Peace!

GADZOOKS Dec 9th, 2006 06:20 PM

Oh, and I would take away the internet too, can't have him browsing a forum where nerds pretend to be girls and Terra exists with her foul mouth.

You may hate me now but you will thank me when you aren't homeless and spending what little money you have on hentai.

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 06:22 PM

i hate hentai.

hey stop with the whole parenting crap!

its a forum...i got my gift and i made my story....i sent out my gift

i did everything i was asked to when i joined this

just comment on the stories dont worry about my life

HickMan Dec 9th, 2006 06:22 PM

My brother's being a huge pus fart and wont take pictures tonight. So hopefully sunday I'll get em up! That and maybe I'll pull a Jixby Phillips and get a movie up!

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 06:26 PM

Dude you can't say things like 'pusfart' in the same thread as Microshock what the fuck were you thinking? >:

FartinMowler Dec 9th, 2006 06:41 PM

can Seth be arrested for sending edible panties to a minor? :lol2 This kid could grow up to be a presidential page :/

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 07:05 PM

Zelda, you had the nerve to call those gifts crappy after what you sent out to Seth originally? What a fucking joke. Some of that stuff you got was awesome, especially the avenging unicorn (which is obviously based on the infamous PBF comic).

Microshock, nice job on the pics and welcome to the world of grown-ups where edible panties technology has become a staple of our society.

noob3 Dec 9th, 2006 07:06 PM

i am so tempted to give everyone some hot hentai christmas presents right here in this thread but i'd get banned D:

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 07:11 PM

Im just so fucking tired with the people constantly making these jokes about my age and how young i look

Hey im sorry that you're trying to be so funny that you have to stoop to that level

and not even be funny SO JUST CUT IT!

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noob3
i am so tempted to give everyone some hot hentai christmas presents right here in this thread but i'd get banned D:

No you wouldn't, someone got porn last year. As long as it's not going to a minor, I don't think we ever set any rule against it.

Also, my Secret Santa gift just arrived at my door. Unfortunately, it wasn't much at all (unless I'm missing something) and there won't be a good story to tell like last year. I really don't even see how it ads up to $10 either, but anyway, I'll have some pics up probably in the next day or two.

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 07:12 PM

Microshock, it's a mockery site. Chill out... you're only asking for them to tease you more when you act like that.

noob3 Dec 9th, 2006 07:12 PM

:lol I MEAN LIKE POST HENTAI IN THIS THREAD TO BE FUNNY

to make fun of microshock who couldn't even come here anymore because.. he.. uh.. would be breaking the law!

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 07:12 PM

microshock, calm down :[

FartinMowler Dec 9th, 2006 07:12 PM

I showed my wife the pictures of Microshock and she said "he's so cute" :lol I can't stop laughing

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noob3
:lol I MEAN LIKE POST HENTAI IN THIS THREAD TO BE FUNNY

Oh yeah, that'd bring out the old ban-hammer. :lol

:themoreyouknow

noob3 Dec 9th, 2006 07:13 PM

i bet doopa loves the "ban hammer"

Schimid Dec 9th, 2006 07:17 PM

TO MY RECIPIENT : I apologize if it hasn't gotten to you by now. I sent it out on the 4th, and with 7-day mail so it should get there soon. Also, I apologize for the (potentially lame) gifts; Chojin can attest to the fact that my EMPLOYMENT PLANS fell through for Christmas just at the last minute. In short, I got fired because I'm 18 and not 21, and they won't pay me for at least another week. But I tried to overcompensate and I hope you like what I got you (at least two of those things are really rare!!)

TO MY SENDER: what the hell, you slacking bastard

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noob3
i bet doopa loves the "ban hammer"

Not as much as you love it, you dirty, dirty he-slut.
:wank

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 07:25 PM

yea you right rog....but no one even comments on the story...


COMMENT ON STORY YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!

eggyolk Dec 9th, 2006 08:09 PM

fantastic stories and presents guys! :)

also, zeldasbiggestfan youre going down boy

Emu Dec 9th, 2006 08:14 PM

RECIPIENT HAVE YOU RECIEVED MY PRESENT YET :(

Sacks Dec 9th, 2006 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Microshock
yea you right rog....but no one even comments on the story...


COMMENT ON STORY YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!

You're not reading hard enough. I said all kinds of things about it.

Misdemonar Dec 9th, 2006 08:32 PM

I got my present from danny tatom, thanks danny, :lol

Grislygus Dec 9th, 2006 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin
Why did you even bother to send him shit in the first place

Because Im poor.

What the FUCK, I exchanged cans and gave up a week of bus fare to make and send my present. Don't tell me you're poor >:

Microshock Dec 9th, 2006 09:43 PM

Grisly...how are you poor...you can see your nice house from the pics

Zomboid Dec 9th, 2006 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery
Quote:

Originally Posted by Noob3
i am so tempted to give everyone some hot hentai christmas presents right here in this thread but i'd get banned D:

No you wouldn't, someone got porn last year. As long as it's not going to a minor, I don't think we ever set any rule against it.

I got a whole bunch of porn. Disturbing porn with shemales.

Ninjavenom Dec 9th, 2006 10:10 PM

what kind of dick sends tranny porn?



i got my gift today :D

pics soon :O

to my recipient: sent out yesterday, with slow n' cheap shippy, should be there within the week :O

Grislygus Dec 9th, 2006 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Microshock
Grisly...how are you poor...you can see your nice house from the pics

Ain't my house, it's my dad's house. I get a room to myself, food, and tuition from my dad, and I pay for books and any other expenses I rack up.

I just don't have any spending money. That didn't stop me from raising twenty bucks just by improvising a little, there's no way he can tell me that he can't scrounge up some extra cash for a decent present.

poppers620 Dec 9th, 2006 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sacks
Zelda, all of those gifts are completely awesome. Especially the card. Do you realize how hard it would have been not to just shit in a box or send you a knife and pray you trip and fall on it after realizing who you're buying for? I don't know Shannon, but her soul must be as pure and beautiful as a fresh layer of snow on a crisp Christmas morn. It almost makes me want to vomit. Seriously kid, get your shit together ASAP.

thank you for that lovey comment. i am actually dissapointed more thought wasnt put into the story. i figured the avenging unicorn playset would make a great story. i thought i did pretty well for being a first timer at this secret santa thing.seriously, iam so disapointed in that story. i mean fuck, the unicorn stabs a mime, a business man and a chick. thats awesome.

i should have my story up tomorrow just trying to resize and upload all my pics. its not going to be very funny cuz frankly i am not very funny but i will do my best.

draw a sidewalk Dec 9th, 2006 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan
My brother's being a huge pus fart and wont take pictures tonight. So hopefully sunday I'll get em up! That and maybe I'll pull a Jixby Phillips and get a movie up!

i want to see these pictures or movie or whatever. i was worried you wouldnt like what i sent :0

draw a sidewalk Dec 9th, 2006 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mockery
Quote:

Originally Posted by Noob3
i bet doopa loves the "ban hammer"

Not as much as you love it, you dirty, dirty he-slut.
:wank

haha, noob3 is a dirty he slut.
i sure do love him though.

Mockery Dec 9th, 2006 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poppers620
thank you for that lovey comment. i am actually dissapointed more thought wasnt put into the story. i figured the avenging unicorn playset would make a great story. i thought i did pretty well for being a first timer at this secret santa thing.seriously, iam so disapointed in that story. i mean fuck, the unicorn stabs a mime, a business man and a chick. thats awesome.

Aye the gifts were very good. Hell, I wish you were my secret santa, so don't worry about what he thinks of 'em.

liquidstatik Dec 9th, 2006 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misdemonar
I got my present from danny tatom, thanks danny, :lol

thanks, i was worried you wouldnt like it

:[

poppers620 Dec 9th, 2006 11:49 PM

eh, i really dont give a shit what he thinks, i just picked the shit out thinking "what a cool story these gifts will make!" i mean, you gto an avenging unicorn, and jesus mirror and a giant devil bath duckie. you just cant go wrong.

maybe you will remember the awesomeness of my gift when you chose secret santas next year. hehe

liquidstatik Dec 10th, 2006 12:03 AM

poppers ill be your secret santa ;]

Jixby Phillips Dec 10th, 2006 12:12 AM

if zeldas biggest fan cant be banned from the boards, can he at least be banned from future secret santas?

Sheesh he put like zero effort into both giving AND receiving. what a creep.

poppers620 Dec 10th, 2006 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MR. DANNY TATOM
poppers ill be your secret santa ;]

THANKS!

again, thats good to know for future reference =)

GADZOOKS Dec 10th, 2006 12:34 AM

Can Zelda be banned if his gift still sucks? I mean things have been getting better since Juttin has left except for the Spaz apperances (he's gross).

I'm not his biggest fan, I must admit.

noob3 Dec 10th, 2006 12:39 AM

i say we let seth decide if he gets banned or not

poppers620 Dec 10th, 2006 01:02 AM

ok guys what picture hosting site do you use to post pics on here? i just tried photobucket and it woudlnt load any of my pics on here. i have my story ready to go..... just need the info.......


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