guys i am sorry i did not get my thing in earlier but i got some holliday and turning 30 years old depression that ruined my ability to get it done (APPOLOGIES TO LARRY THE CABLE REPARIMAN)

also appologies for not picturing myself in these pictures but like i said, depressions

i had initially had a idea to prefix this story w/ myself having a dialog w/ myself, and i was gonan shave my face up to make the characters more distinct but unfortunatley it did not work out

DOUBLE PLUS APOLOGIES

anyhow



my gift person was mistermockery, he sent me a "frankfurter converter" (pictured) and a "extendible fork" (not pictured yet)


this is what happends when you put a hotdog into the f. converter it turns into a octopus haha


NEXT UP A PARTIAL HARROWING TAEL

our ship did land on a strange island with cyclopean monuments such as this strewn at bizarre angles across it
when we approached the largest one atop the tall cliff, it began to open



AND A MONSTOR DID APPEAR





with a flick of his tentacled face he threw ed off the cliff ;_;

NOOOOO

AIIIEEEE

*splat*

oh no i am next help

look it is a weapon of some kind

i will fight you htdgthulu

woah it did get long and stab him in the face!

oh no the use fo a magic trident did awaken an even more dreadful monstor

A SHAGOTH OH SH*T

SHOWDOWN AT THE OK CORALL

who iwll win

(please note no animals were harmed int he filming of this picture although one got to eat some hot dog tentacles)
(also note, i am using my parents computer to post this and to upload pictures, so if some of them dont show up right away dont be alarmed as they still have dialup)

holymoly i want a hotdogapus maker thing

Actually, Doopa was your Secret Santa, Willie... not sure why it said it was from me. Guess because the account was in my name or somethin. It shoulda said her name on there somewhere though o.O

Anywho, those pics are awesome and now I wanna get a hotdog octopus maker thingamabob. :(

one of my presents takes 72 hours before i can use it, so i have to wait :x

Oh cool you got the presents, sorry it had to take so long but unfortuantly we don't have that "through rain, snow, sleet" thingy you guys have, just boganess. Well I hope you enjoyed them and look forward to you super secret santa adventure!

yessuh i like 'em :D

and its okay, i was wonderin wtf was up, but it came all the way from australia
so its all good :O

They sell those hotdog things on Stupid.com! That place is cool. AND the extendible fork is there (a spoon is there too I think!)

i hope everyone had a good christmas!

I did!

Yay for christmas! Commence bannings! But for real, happy new year too.

oh hey ps chojin when you were doing mustache did you use that flashlight for safety purposes

you gotta be safe you know

That was awesome willy

How many more stories do people need to put up?

that's like asking how many stupid questions you might post until you realize that no one likes you.... :( but that is on a scale of do you really care or do you comprehend the fact you might be a total fucking loser

listen we all hate zelda but at least fucking answer his question..

fuck you zelda. fuck you.....dont come back to next years secret santa

Fartin- Both :(

Microshock- Im telling your parents then you'll get grounded little tyke. Wont want that now will you...Your the load your mom should have swallowed you know that?

Who's this "we", champ?

:lol

Anywho, these stories have been a blast to read. I know I'll participate next year.

zelda .......wow. you know that i put up a decent story and i gave good gifts.

i did my part. unlike you

and the only comeback you have is that im young?

pathetic.

Schimid , you dont hate him? Cuz i thought when i said 'we' , i meant everyone on this thread.

Micro, sure you did your part ect, but don't go into a little off topic flame war. Its not worth it when your a new member.

On the comeback it really comes to you newbie status, thats the only thing we know about you, so its the only thing he can taunt you with. Oh and not everyone agrees with you because they have known Zelda for longer, so one slip up isn't pissing them off too bad.

Anywho back on topic. Well it's a new year and the stories still ain't all up! Good work to everyone who has posted, most of them have been excellent and has made this year's secret santa quite enjoyable and I hope next years will be better.

Oh and come on Danny, its been 72 hours the creature should be done by now! :p

Unless I'm mistaken, the following six people have NOT posted their pictures:

-glowbelly
-Misdemonar
-Noob3
-MR. DANNY TATOM
-Comrade Rocket
-randomskyfears

What gives?

Mockery, I can't post becuase of technical problems, and because I'm a dick, and idk what to do with a dress.

What are these "technical" problems. It doesn't take much to post a picture of what you got. You don't have to post a story. Just post pictures of whatever you got and say who gave it to you.

Just put on the dress and get a picture of you wearing the dress come on chop chop

Looks like comrade rocket hasn't posted since you gave him shit.

he still hasn't gotten his stuff in the mail

Yeah but usually there'd still be posts from the guy. Lately there's nothing at all :O

I havent heard anything from that randomskyfears guy.

DEAR MR MOCKERY,

i've been out of town for the week, but im coming back today
so ill get pictures up sooooonn ;O

Is this still not done?

damn...

Dear mr Tatom,

I am rotting in my chair as i speak, waiting for you to post and gloat about what you got from your secret santa.

sincerly, Unkie Sham

zelda..i would like to apologize because at least u put up a story

but quite a lot of fuckheads didnt.....

Do you kiss your mommie with that mouth?? Sheeesh... respect your elders!!

havn't visited the boards in a long while...

but can we just ban Zelda anyways? I mean, what's there to lose from banning him? 50% of i-mock revenues? Come on. Since i don't think seth is gonna reveal his 2nd gift, wtf did u give him Zelda? Spill the beans. Go on then.

Oh and Micro, you're really getting repetetive. Shut up.

not to bring this thread offtopic but is that actually a picture of lotida because she looks like she should be cooking a summer ham for her abusive husband named Floyd.

Why you gotta say shit about my husband? What'd he ever do to you??? >:

Secret Santa Thread... Carry on....

lol, "Floyd".

I think Lotida should change her name to hambone. That way when she becomes a burlesque singer on a Louisiana river casino boat she'll already have a nickname.

jk lotida i just wanted an excuse to talk about hams.

somones hungry :)

PS Pics soon, guys!

I had ham, mashed potatoes and broccoli au gratin rice for dinner last night and tonight I had eggs, ham and fresh hashbrowns :O

jesus christ thats amazing

</first post>

yeah, ben, someone eating ham twice pretty much blows my mind, too

Ham & Peanut Butter Sandwich.

Tastes as okay as it sounds.

Hahhahaha Hydralisk thinks this is that what are you eating thread

IT'S NOT.

That is pretty funny.

Blackflag made me laugh so hard

I know it's not great quality, but it's convenient avatar size!

if anyone hasn't posted yet, i think it's safe to call it "fucking ridiculous".

:lol i will never post pictures with that kind of slanderization

:[

People who haven't posted pictures yet &
People who have not sent gifts:

You're all getting banned at midnight (as in, morning of) the 14th of this month unless you rectify before then.

It's a birthday present.

Microshock i noticed in you story their is a fault

I love that flashlight and use it a lot :<

mainly to blind zak when playing wii sports, but i've used it at my job, too ;<

i believe you will find it takes a whole assload of use to run down that one AA (i believe the packaging implied you could get 50 hours of use out of it :o)

Have you guys ever seen those "21st century torches"? The ones that are "run off of" magnets and instead of putting batteries in it you just shake it up and they basically run forever?
those are really cool and i have one, i got it for christmas :D

So, was that Eastern Standard Time? I mean, there could have been a whole lot of confusion about that, so I think maybe banning people, what with all the Time Zone confusion, might be, y'know, unexpected? What if they thought you meant American Samoan Time?

I don't want to see glowbelly banned. :(

It was that or a house falling on her :/

dunnys enjoying kitty castle

Me either... I sent her gift... Can I just take the blame for crappy presents without getting banned myself?

Sooooo is this event officially done or something?

I thought so too but since I did not participate I did not say anything.

I guess I'm gonna get yelled at now. I hope they do it next year, though. I would so like a brand new Koosh ball.

yeah man, I'll do it next year as well. Everyone will be crossing their fingers hoping they get paired up with ol' ben because my christmas gifts will bloow yooou awaaaayyyyy.

HEY GUYS, Sethomas versus ZBF Christmas battle update!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...m=140077941991

He did actually send this to me promptly after his warning, so it's not like anyone besides myself was lazy in making this update.

serious lol here

Haha god work Seth, hopefully you make some gain from the secret santa. So which members have been banned? Has MRDANNY been banned? Casue I really wanted to see what story he would make.

KEEP MY NAME OUCHA MOUTH

:O! Is that..... The Game? I hope you didn't misunderstand me, I was just asking if you *had* been banned, not in the style that you *should* be banned. So you played any of the awsomeness of Sam & Max yet?

yesssssuhh, its niftyy. that CD was weird, though. ;<

oh and my neice likes the fart putty :D

i haven't been bothered to look up names yet, so this is like an unofficial AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL for you fags that are fagging about with not uploading images.

Glad to see you liked it :p. That CD I bought when I was recently in Japan, I bought like 20 of those CD's becasue there were about 50 cents each. Good random gifts for people.

Okay so here's what's up:

Nothing4Buddha to Randomskyfears (Received, hasn't posted pictures)
Glowbelly to Comrade Rocket (Not sent)
Preechr to Glowbelly (Received, hasn't posted pictures)
MR. DANNY TATOM to Misdemonar (Received, hasn't posted pictures)
Darklycan to MR. DANNY TATOM (Received, hasn't posted pictures)

E-mails are about to be sent out to find out if you all had a good reason. If you don't have one, you can move to correct this before we switch to the new boards, as I'm not gonna bother to ban anyone before then. Also, I propose that you pay an 'Asshole tax' to the board in the minimum amount of $5 VIA http://i-mockery.com/donate.php

Glowbelly has been contacted and she has a good reason.

Did she swallow a penny? I swallowed a penny one time, I thought I was going to die.

i was watching scrubs tonight..and the janitor ate a penny but it was tracking device used by j.d

hee heee loool im sorry...ill get back to work

that scrubs really cracks you up huh boy

it cracks me up too, keep up the good work pal

hahaha, is JD the calamity coyote :lol

EDIT: Nevermind, I found out that was Zack Braff, if anything that guy is a toad. >:

Sorry it took so long fellas, I feel like the ole grinch yes I do :grinch

where's the cow and stuff? ;<

YOU ARE NOT USING THAT ITEM SIR. (Thank god)

My dog was in the mood for beef sir.

lol it's okay, my sister stole like half the stuff i got :x

p.s. my pictures coming today or tomorrow :o

sorry guys, was out of the country for the past month or so. didn't mean to leave you hanging, but am trying to get my girlfriend a visa to the states (and have been since august), so was in india the whole time and that took priority. didn't have the gifts with me anyways. just got back and am in the process of rounding up all the stuff i got, but not sure i'll be able to find it all. however, should have pics up of whatever i can find later today

so, this was all the stuff i could find, though i also got a dirty shirt (not dirty as in unclean, dirty as in porn) and there was a ball in that empty container, as well as a spinning wheel to accompany the orange handle there. theres a chance there was something else, but my stuff got moved all over while i was gone. i think i basically got all the same stuff as fartinmowler did for some reason

Whoopi cushions should not be green. :(

Well, I hate to be a downer, but after auction and postage fees I'm about five cents in the hole from the eBay auction. This doesn't bother me, I just wish I had something to donate to the site. So it goes!

POST THE SHIRT.>:

Here’s the crap that Seth got from ZBF, and that I got from Seth's eBay auction... which in a way makes it the stuff I got from ZBF:





Something about the tabloid drove my cat nuts. Perhaps his sensitive nose picked up the stench of a cheap fat kid. He hates those things.



Wowie, my birthday came early this year!



Mmm, gum. And such an expensive variety, too.



And the rest: a couple hot wheels, and a power ranger that makes a strange noise when you push its belt buckle.

Still, there is a compelling story to be drawn from all this:



Having just defeated her human counterpart, the pink ranger rests for a moment, taking a break and catching up on the latest news.



“Good lord, we’re in the middle of a Super Depression! I’ve got to find some way to escape it! I know, I’ll just steal a quick pick-me-up...”



“Haha, the gum is mine now, you peons! Oh, what’s this? The rattlesnake car wants to take a shot at me? Well go a-head!!!”

*splat* *crash*



“Ahahahahaha!! None can topple me! Not even...”



*gasp* “Oh no, I wasn’t counting on them sending in the heavy artillery! If that orange missile hits me it’ll... oh, wait. It’s not a missile at all. It’s just a cheap little fakeout. Haw haw”



“Argh, lasers! Invisible lasers from the orange thingie! ARGH, I AM DEFEATED!!!”

And so, with one final weird noise from her belt, the pink ranger was slain, and I sat down to take a look at my favorite tabloid story:



An ad for a service that sends insults you can use to your Bluetooth headset. As if you didn’t look crazy enough just talking into one of those things.


THE END

Thank you for making something out of literally nothing.