BOBA FETT TOTALLY GETS OUT OF THE SARLACC PIT! HE DOES! HE LIVES AND GETS A ROBOT LEG AND IS THE BEST MAN AT DENGAR'S WEDDING!

I keep having this dream in which Proto is being told by RoG to do this one for RotS, and Proto doing a Vader-esque NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Alcibiades....that can be summed up in one reason: today's moviegoing audience's want for action, action, action, totally nonstop and especially ninja/anime-type or Matrix-type. Not that it makes conforming rather than getting a different style over always better.

HELL YES MAN! BOBA FETT FANS FOREVER = BFFF!
And even though the books of Boba Fett crawling out of the Sarlacc weren't written by George "Brilliant" Lucas, somebody else took the bull by the horns and took a kick ass character that Lucas effectively ruined and pulled him from death to make him badass again.

that is all

Sure, they suck, but the Rifftrax for these three make it all worthwhile...

You can say what you want about the original movies, but the Dialogue was SUPERB.
Who fucked up the dialogue so impossibly bad in the prequels? Who can I blame for that?

And yes, Ewoks are so retarded. Apparently Storm Troopers can't withstand the fierce assault of an arrow gently lobbed at them by a midget.

BOBA FETT TOTALLY GETS OUT OF THE SARLACC PIT! HE DOES! HE LIVES AND GETS A ROBOT LEG

*The robot leg was only temporary until he had the time & credits for his black market clone leg. *spoiler alert* he got his clone dna redone so now he'll live another 100+ years and he's the a figure head for a whole government of planets and he can't even set foot on Mandalore now and they retconed the whole other mandalore/fake Boba marvel comics era ANd he's got grandkids AND i kinda want to hit Karen Traviss. with my cock.

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Anyways, Send in the Clones:
You know how everyone hates the Padme/Anakin romance cause it's akward? Isn't it kinda supposed to be? Anakins A Space Preppie from the most Elite Prep school in the known Universe (and he spends his free time playing with robots instead of trying to get in Barriss Offee's pants) and Padme's part of the super debate club where Bail Organa's the cool guy! (and she spends her free time helping doomed aliens- see Clones deleted scenes, IF YOU DARE!). No fuckin wonder these two are cliche'd dorks when they're alone. It reminds me of a chess club physics club mixer.


another II plus: Extra scumbag Watto. now there's someone I wanted to see whipping his slaves.

Best line in II: Dooku's speal to captured Obi wan. "A mistake. A terrible mistake"

I finally remembered! I can't believe it took me so long, but that feeling of "déjà vu" all over again when you highlighted your #2 thing you liked - "The name of the killer is ...." - MONTY PYTHON!

(reading the scrawled message)

"The grail is hidden at the Castle Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Now I get it - Lucas is doing an homage to a great comedy by inserting a defining moment into this craptastic shitstorm. He truly is a genius of infinitessimal proportions.

My biggest problem was with one of the "plot" elements. The Jedi council has established over and over that Anakin, at best, has some issues that need working out. One of which is control of his feelings. So, in their infinite wisom, they dump him (a raging teen ball of hormones) and Padme (hottie) on a planet that might as well have been called Eden. What did they think would happen? Just more horrible crap from Lucas.

There is one more thing that was good about this movie (actually it was the only thing that I liked at all). During the seen when Anakin and Padme kiss for the first time the music that is playing is swelling and getting more grandiose and then it hits a crescendo when their lips actually meet... then it cuts out completely when Padme breaks the kiss. For some reason this had me (and only me) rolling in the aisles in the theater. Just to see the whiny pathetic look on Anakins face when she pulls away made me happy. The only thing that would have been better would be to have a brick just fly in from off camera and crush his front teeth in and blood would go flying. Yeah... that would have been awesome.

Wow. Finding five things right with Episode II is probably harder, to me at least, than doing the same with Episode I. For all of the crap that Episode I gets- and much of it is deserved- it doesn't end up being a complete steaming pile. I think it comes out somewhat on the level of "mediocre," although it's definitely the most childish of the six. This, however, does nothing right, not even the 30-some-odd minute scene in the battle arena. Lucas managed to screw up what should have been excellent with schmaltzy dialogue, and not even Natalie Portman's perky nipples could save that.

I really don't know why everybody knocks the prequels.. I think that they added on to the overall coolness of the whole series; breathing a new life to an awesome franchise.

@resident-adam: Obviously you are joking, as no-one with a sane mind could make that sort of glowing comment on a trilogy of shit prequels.

I seriously thought about walking out of this movie during the "frolic-in-the-fields" scene. I literally only stayed because I had paid $7.50 to see it. This movie, coupled with Phantom Menace, was the main reason why I didn't actually see Revenge of the Sith until about a year ago, and that was only because a friend invited me over to watch it at his apartment. Funny thing is, even though RotS was comparatively better than the first 2 prequels, it would still fall into my list of top 10 worst movies I've ever seen...

The entire new trilogy is the worst waste of time ever, I knew it was up by this movie. I mean, they're not like watching actual movies, the entire tone and pacing is completely the flip opposite of the originals. Which, well, you know what.. there's so many great flicks out there, you want an epic 6 part film series with swords, decapitations, big ass battles, loads of arterial spray?

LONE WOLF & CUB. Stop acting like this pasty tame bullshit is even remotely cool and see some real badass shit.

Proto, I'm looking forward to your "5 Things" for Revenge of the Sith. Please, show no mercy to the steaming pile of sith.

eck, I am proud to say I have not seen Sith, I'll let Proto see it for me, and dismember it accordingly.

Seriously, watch samurai movies, they're like Star Wars, only they don't suck.

Yeah..."I have had it with these motherfucking Sith on this motherfucking planet!" That would have ruled.

Oh, if you didn't like the preachy "deathstick" messages, wait'll you get to the not-so-veiled anti-Bush comments in Episode III. Cause it's so "in" for celebrities to rebel against the President (not that I disagree totally, but at times it did come across as just a fad). If only Lucas got the Dixie Chicks treatment as well for this one...

I remember when it was cool to diss Prime Minister John Howard... then he got voted out. A similar phenomenon to Bush hating except the people's voice actually helped give him the boot.

As for the Boba Fett issue, Boba Fett is an iconic figure (in more ways than one *merchandising*) because his armour and bounty hunter status has made him loved by many fans, even if he did fall in the Sarlaac Pit, he's still awesome. I guess he has a better life in Internet memes and action figures than he ever did on screen, even Peter Griffin says "You can't touch the Fett" when he's talking about his action figures. Some people don't like him, and that's fine, but Fett is a lot more awesome than Jar Jar Binks, and by the way I was one of the only kids that liked him *this is blasphemy, this is madness!*

I agree with your hate list except the Yoda fight. After two hours of boredom in a movie theater waiting for the fucking clone wars how could you not enjoy a Yoda lightsaber battle?

I totally agree that Dooku should have been a wildcard. A front man for a whole other sect, not just another whipping boy for palpatine. He could have been a threat to the Jedi and the empire. Dooku would have been infinitely more interesting and could have survived past the fifteen minute mark of Movie III to pester all sides with his own agenda.

my head hurts, i'm so confused.

I hated how every "cool new" evil character is pretty much wasted, as in either killed, mishandled, or both, in short order.

Argh dammit, these points are exactly why I put off getting the damn film for DVD for years. I got ROTS a few years back so I decided to get it cheap off Amazon. At least the Clones were good in my opinion (the Clone Wars cartoon is still annoyingly too expensive to get for me).

And I liked the books and comics :( guess I know what I've been doing wrong all the time...