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-   -   The Santa/Jesus Variations (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69701295)

MockBot Dec 19th, 2008 03:12 AM

The Santa/Jesus Variations
 
Automatically generated comment thread for The Santa/Jesus Variations.

Purple Man Dec 19th, 2008 03:33 AM

Number 9 FTW.

homor Dec 19th, 2008 09:56 AM

NUTCRACKER!

wobzire Dec 19th, 2008 10:09 AM

Thank you Max that was all I wanted for christmas. Hahaha. Seriously that was funny. Never stop.

Dimnos Dec 19th, 2008 10:13 AM

Ha Ha! Nice one Max.

chemquat Dec 19th, 2008 10:30 AM

i love how mr. burbank combines "hilarious" and "depressing" into such wonderful pieces!

Mental Pooperscooper Dec 19th, 2008 12:01 PM

IX-if Santa is Luke than is the Easter Bunny the Emporer?
In any case V is easily my favorite

squirrel_dave Dec 19th, 2008 12:16 PM

Personally I don't think this article is meant to be funny - I think it elicits a great deal of pathos, in particular the variations containing dialogue between Jesus and Santa. It also reminds us of what a good writer Mr. Burbank is, and makes me glad to have him back and writing articles. Excellent use of Roman numerals too!

Colonel Flagg Dec 19th, 2008 01:39 PM

I agree, it's good to have Max back, writing articles again. And I respectfully disagree, this piece is meant to be funny. Gary Busey thinks so, at any rate.

Protoclown Dec 19th, 2008 02:49 PM

That was beautiful.

Kitsunexus Dec 19th, 2008 03:20 PM

Haha, that was a kickass read!:3

greenimp Dec 19th, 2008 07:31 PM

very dark humor, i love it!

El Sammo Dec 20th, 2008 12:09 AM

Max, darling, you make me weep. On the philosophy of Max's little article...
It's not really funny. If you laugh at it, you're kind of messed up. The biting, dark truths that Max reveals with each platinum piece of prose are too bright for many human minds to see. We blink and shudder away from such thoughts. Is head trauma that funny?
Laugh damnit you broken little fool, it IS that funny!

sorry, overboard

Tetsu Deinonychus Dec 20th, 2008 12:17 AM

Once again a wonderful blend of dark humor and artistic surrealism.

Max, you are a true master!

BTW, I will totally paint that crucified Berger Meister Meister Berger painting!

HeroliciousDeBlanc Dec 20th, 2008 03:44 AM

David Mamet is the worst playwright I've ever read (by force, as well in English class). Just throwing that out there.

Mockery Dec 20th, 2008 08:00 AM

This is seriously the best thing I've read in a while and one hell of a fine Christmas gift, Max.

Doctor_Who Dec 20th, 2008 11:41 AM

Awesome in every imaginable way.

doopa Dec 20th, 2008 03:44 PM

wow max. you are so talented. seriously

MrWarranty Dec 20th, 2008 05:59 PM

What in the (you are going to) hell.

LittleDollClaudia Dec 20th, 2008 10:44 PM

Ah, Gary Busey. That man is a flippin' train wreck. Who knew he could be so funny, at least in this?

I do believe in the spirit..of commercialism.

Pretzel Dec 22nd, 2008 06:22 AM

Very nice article, Max. I enjoyed it a lot, thank you.

mburbank Dec 22nd, 2008 11:45 AM

Hey, Pretz! I pmed and emailed you, I hope you got them. Merry Christmas!

EchoCharlie Dec 22nd, 2008 08:35 PM

Great work. I was reading this before going to bed and had a giggle attack suddenly (you know snorted to stifle the laugh)at the memory of the II. variation and blew snot on my sleeping wifes back. Well she was sleeping - then she wasn't...chuckling about that now...

Lordsalmon Dec 30th, 2008 05:22 PM

Dear Mr. Burbank
You are brilliant. Thank you.

Desert_Screams Jan 15th, 2009 11:41 PM

Max, damn your brilliant hide, this is easily the best thing you've written on this site, and easily one of the very best essays of the year gone by. Trimming away the wonderfully lunatic fringes-- Gary Busey, the STAR WARS stuff-- there's some profunidity in there.

Yes, profundity. A word that looks wrong no matter how long you look at it. And I look at it a long-assed time, believe you me.

Jesus and Santa in the bar-- although it sounds like the set-up to a joke Henny Youngman might have discarded in the early '70s-- is some great character work and honest-to-Xenu pathos, but the best thing here (IMNSHO) is Santa as the derailing nightclub magician. I don't think we should hope for a Burbank piece that sounds like Mamet; we should wait for something by Mamet, that sounds like Burbank. 'Cos that Burbank fella, he's damned good.


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