You could say you have herpes, which works until the horrible part where he says "no problem, me too"

JUST BE YOURSELF AND YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM MAKING HIM NOT WANT TO DATE YOU :rolleyes

If he's taking you to dinner, I'd say complain vociferously about whatever you've ordered, making a big show of insulting the waitperson, chef, or maitre'd. If it's a movie, talk nonstop during it, asking questions and giving away plot points. Especially helpful here is seeing the movie first before he takes you to it.

Works every time.

Tadao's suggestion is pretty good, too.

Complain all evening about your last boyfriend

GTFO NEWB

Shut up, you already know dude.

YEAH DUDE, YOU ALREADY FUCKING KNOW OKAY

FUCK

NEWB

Tardfuckers

DUDE

FUCKKK

One day I'll make sex time with ZQ, but not yet!

Asspies 4 life, yo.

I WANT A FRANKENSTEIN DI*K :lol

I mean Munster di*k :(

:lol

Bobbit

thank you all for your input, I have taken each suggestion into careful consideration and come to the conclusion that unfortunately, none of them will work -

the std's won't work because he's my godbrother he knows me well enough to know that i wouldn't have one

being myself wouldn't work for the same reason because he knows me and still wants to go out (so buzz off applebrain :( )

the dinner won't work because we're going to the movies, and the movie is harry potter, so there's really no spoiling that can be done there

the phone thing won't work because we'll be in a theatre and i'm not allowed to have it on

and complaining about past relationships won't work because they are non-existant, which he knows

I saw a commercial about a vacuum penis pump this morning.

Just putting that out there.

It was an infomercial actually.

Say you're on the rag and whine about cramps

You need to make some friends.

would that actually work? are guys so easily repulsed?

i tried but sam blocked me :(

Blood spurting out of a hole they want to fuck turns off alot of guys. Unless he's like a total freak.

i'd work the whole "this is sort of borderline incestuous, isn't it?" angle myself

I'll pretend to be his sister if he's cute enough.

Just tell him the truth - you don't want to go out with him, and you'll see the movie and all, but that's it. What the "f" is the problem with that?

Throw in the "Let's just be friends" line - if he's got any brains at all, he'll drop you like a bad job.

Which is what you want, right?

Outside of drugs, alcohol or a wicked ass-beating, any suggestions on getting a "very nocturnal" 6-year old to sleep?

Just throwing it out there ....

A good cry. Tell 'em Old Yeller's dead.

But seclusion in a room with nothing to do that they can't get out of always worked for me. If they get frustrated, better. They'll tire themselves out, get bored, and sleep.

BED TIME STORIES! Read him Black Beauty. The one about the horse, not the other one.

Start yawning and hope he/she is suggestible.

I made the mistake of watching "The Real Housewives of Orange County" today. It only reinforced my existing belief that if Orange County simply disappeared, the word would probably be better off.

Seriously. When one says to the other, "You look so pretty", she doesn't say "thanks, you too"...she says, "Oh, do I?!?"

I agree, in fact all of Florida should disappear.

orange county is in california

Fun Fact, Disneyland is in both Orange County's

It's also in upstate NY; what the hell?

Oh yeah, I forgot about that one, that's where that OC Chopper place is I think.

Yeah, it's next door to a factory my dad has to visit all the time. He said in the past 10 years they've built like crazy and now it's practically an amusement park when it used to just be a garage.

yes, i did tell him that i did not like him and did not want a boyfriend, but then my mother told him that i was just being shy. i also did not want to go on the date, but my mother had already accepted on my behalf and now it's too late to back out.

i don't have much experience with kids so this probably won't be helpful but you could always try it when all else fails

instead of attempting to get the child to sleep, just make it comfortable, show that it isn't a big deal to you and i think they'd just relax and eventually fall to sleep. instead of 'bed time' make it 'quiet time'.

that seems like it may work on kids, because in the little experience i do have, by trying to force the child to sleep and making a big thing of it they just become more stubborn and reluctant. just mentioning 'bedtime' can make them bounce off walls. :(

Another thing is that kids assume all the best stuff happens after they go to sleep. Maybe if you did something super-boring, the kid would lose interest.

Tell him to do jumping jacks until he's tired.

I'm pretty sure that this isn't a real date and that your mother is just trying to get you to have some sort of actual human interaction, which is ironic considering the fact that she chose to home school you.

Thanks for the suggestions - I guess doing work on the computer was a good choice, because she's out for the count. YE GODS but she's a tough cookie. (I might have met my match here.) ;) I don't know if this counts as doing something really boring, but maybe ....

Excuse me, but your mom accepts dates for you? And he thinks this is OK? Maybe he should date your mom. :eek

If you feel you've got no choice, then go, and make the best of a lousy situation. At the end of the date, shake his hand and say "Thanks."

[dblpst]

Tell him to fuckin' beat it.

Watched this last night. Tak Sakaguchi is pretty awesome. Just sayin'.

Jesus. I hate when I'm about to post some useless form of advice and some asshole jumps in and puts up a f*cking poster.

F*ck me?! No, f*ck you!

Oh! So YOU'RE that ASSHOLE!

Assh*le, you mean.

"Fucktard" from days gone by might get me banned. I'm getting twitchy fingers on the keyboard to toss that out in your case, matey!

i don't belong here and you can't go with me you'll only slow me down until i send for you don't wear your hair that way if you cannot be true i'll understand

ohsnap
idontsavvy

the hell it is. ditch that bitch

Listen to Willie. He knows..... :hypno

you are incorrect in all of your assumptions sir

At this point Elx your best option is to tell him the truth. That you dont like him yada yada yada but also explain that your mother is telling him all this other shit that just isnt true and you dont know why. If this just doesnt seam like a good option you can always be supper clingy and talk about how you want to get married and have a ton of kids and so on. Commitment scares young guys off more than bleeding vag. Im sure he would be happy to look at one bleeding or not.

he lost minn. AND dc, i guess all those eyebots broadcasting his message didn't really help that much

I like how the Electoral vote and the Popular vote are so far from each other. I wonder what each states popular vote count is.

I feel for ya, elx...I had a stalker-ish guy in college and for the longest time my mom accepted dates on my behalf when he'd call my house. It sucked.

Is that why you came back? To show me you can now use a thesaurus?

COSMICALLY SPEAKING?

guys if i post a link to a cafepress store that has tshirts to buy and say "HEY BUY A TSHIRT OK" do you think i will get a infraction

That's a cool t-shirt. I'd wear it.

Just shows my incomplete knowledge of history. I thought that the popular vote that year was a bit closer than in '72, but I totally forgot about the landslide in the Electoral College. Fritz ran a horrible campaign that year, though - I think Ferraro would have been a better presidential candidate for the Dems that year.

Nice graphic T.

Apparently so did I. My apologies Fathom.

Saw courtroom testimony this morning from the trial of that Peoria pitcher who threw a ball into the stands during the fight at the Dayton Dragons game.

They showed an x-ray where the ball hit the guy hard enough to leave clear imprints of the stitching in his skull.

Amazingly, the guy who was hit (a fan in the stands, complete innocent bystander) only suffered a concussion. He couldn't read for 4 days and he still gets headaches. The ball hit him in the temple.

The Peoria player who threw the ball claims that he was aiming for the padding beside the dugout to "scare the Dragons players" during the fight. Immediately after he threw the ball, he got taken down by just about everyone on the Dragons and had the shit beaten out of him.

He's up for 2 counts of felonious assault. I completely believe that a baseball in the hands of a professional pitcher could be a deadly weapon if he wanted it to be.

hey youse guyse better watch it now cuz my Chris Hansen avittar is back so dont try any funny predator tricks you creeps might have up youre sleeves. I'm talking seriouse intarnet businesses here! >:>:
this whole post is mainly directed at Hickman BTW >:

I imagine all the red states to be under Soviet control.

:rolleyes

Doesn't sound like he has very good aim under pressure.

was that what the deleted Sam/stalker thread was about?

No :lol

At first that is who I thought it was. :\

It was Jonathon Clement, wasn't it?

DON'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME, YOU'LL SUMMON HIM MUCH LIKE BEETLEJUICE. >:

Jonathon Clement, Jonathon Clement, Jonathon Clement!

HELL CARNIVAL

Who are all you people?

Everyone is Pub Lover

I'm not. Or am I?

HIGH FIVE

You have a new private message.

Sender: wenjia901
Title: 'Watch 3,000+ Channels PC TV'

Click OK to view it, or cancel to hide this prompt.

why is this the only PM i get :(

once you stop caring about who sends you PM's and why, you'll be a lot happier.


And yes, I know that apostrophe isn't right but I was counting on some idiot here to make a PMS joke.

Ah, Spam®; the other white meat.

It's worth a try - nothing else has worked.

www.google.com logo looks awesome today!

If your a flaming homo

I would like to motion for the boycott of all threads created by Poison Doom. Would anyone like to second this motion?

You cannot defeat me.

I will second it, only because his avatar makes me uncomfortable.>:

or her avatar?

thirded, make it go awayyyyyyyyy

Whichever turns you on baby.

It reminds me of something I would have sucked out with a vacuum.

We can't post abortion pictures here can we?

fourthed.

You're too cute to be so stuck up:(

Ok, ok. If there's a problem I will gladly discuss it with you. I want you people to like me because I'm going to be here for a little while.
What have I done to offend?

I made this earlier in the afternoon while I was babysitting - http://veganyumyum.com/2009/04/apple-pie-coffee-cake/

SOOOO GOOD!

I'm making zucchini parmesan with garlic bread. It smells good so far.