Only 500 were made.

You didn't get me anything for my birthday so no boobs from me.

You shoulda asked for something, I wouldn't deny you. :(

I don't ask for presents, they're just supposed to happen.
:|

Hey, I said I'd come visit you.

that's like getting coal for christmas

i saw "bubo" in a quoted message so i had to go back to see if there was an owl statue or what, come to find out it's a fucking robot owl.

assholes, i wanted a wooden owl statue!

heres an owl on top of an owl on top of an owl on top of an owl on top of an owl on top of an owl -^.^-

Nice h:boob:boobters!

MattJack:
he sent me 4 JCVD movies, bourbon, and popcorn
oh and shot glasses
i owe him, big time

12:15am Fathom Zero:
Extreme.
Everyone owes sam.

12:15am MattJack:
True.

I have over 9,000 posts. My life has slipped away.

damn dude

Well, my birthday get-together was yesterday. I ended up getting a Bowie knife, incense with a crazy skeleton throne burner, and enough money to buy Ethiopia and then some ($90)
Also, we found out my friend can set off car alarms from three blocks away with her blood-curdling scream.

Make sure she only uses that power for good.

Also, post knife picture so I can say 'That's not a knife...' etc.

I promise I'll take one later; I'd have to get on the Mac's webcam, since I broke my camera.

I wish I'd had my camera out for that "people of walmart" site.

We went to pick up some groceries and two separate people were in renfaire getup. We couldn't figure it out because it was too shittily made to be SCA stuff and the ren faire is 2 hours south of here.

It was like, HIE THEE TO WALMART, SPOTTY TOOTHLESS WENCH

Anyway, we have a pioneer heritage festival going the next town north of us and that's all I can figure out. Their costumes weren't even accurate for a renaissance faire, much less a pioneer days festival, but what the hell. Judging from pictures I've seen, the pioneer thing hasn't stopped random idiots from showing up dressed as Jack Sparrow. I'm from olden tymes, hurrr hurrr hurrrrr.

Idiots.

I've noticed this about lately. Is it new and from something I haven't seen? Or is it old and I've previously been more successful in filtering it out? :confused

I don't know. It was my best approximation of the sort of self-satisfied chuckle these people might muster.

Got super excited about making bodies for my dried apple heads and drove extra far to buy material and wire and all the other shit I needed and then remembered on the drive home that my sewing machine is busted, so I can't sew the clothes (I suck at hand stitching).

you could always try iron on hemming tape?

http://www.amazon.com/Dritz-Hemming-.../dp/B000GBTA6I

Ordered a decaf coffee today because I wanted to drink coffee. I thought decaf wouldn't taste different (I've always half-suspected that they give you caffeinated whether you want decaf or not). I was really surprised that it didn't have the familiar bitter coffee flavor. It was pretty mellow. So I guess I learned something today.

caffein gives me migraines. Milk gives me kidney stones. I haven't had coffee in days.

Do you have a parathyroid problem? That's how they figured out I had one. Kept getting kidney stones because my parathyroid wasn't processing calcium and my body didn't know what to do with it- went straight to my kidneys.

I got put on some sort of industrial-strength dose of Vitamin D and now I don't get kidney stones.

I hate the taste of caffeine free coffee. :x

I'm so used to highly-caffeinated coffee that decaf just tasted weird.

I'm a no sugar no cream straight black coffee drinker, so I taste what most people cover up. :(

I don't drink coffee because its taste reminds me of every single awful thing I've ever ingested.

having caffeine every day seriously fucks with my ability to get anything useful done :( it's ok once in a while but only recreationally for me

I can't stand hot coffee. I only drink mine cold,with just a little bit of cream.

I"ve had 8 kidney stones, I have one on it's way out now... I never catch them and I don't have insurance so I'll probably have a few more after this one :/

I work for a company that routinely gives out free coffee - the roasted bean variety - from a number of very high-end coffee roasters. I have therefore developed a refined taste for coffee. Having said this, your comment comes as no surprise. Coffee without caffeine doesn't just taste weird; in my world, that stuff is just plain HORRID. :puke

You are a man after my own heart. :)

And here I was beginning to like you .... ;)

Someone told me that what they do to a coffee bean to remove the caffeine is really disgusting, as in you wouldn't want the chemicals they use in your system. I forget what it was as he is also a nut job.

I have a national geographic article about it but it's boxed up somewhere.

I remember the piles of caffeine that were removed as being some sort of awful wet gray powder.

Well, this was an isolated incident because I was craving the taste of coffee. I'm definitely not making a habit of drinking decaf. When I'm not pregnant, I find that the bold roast starbucks + excedrin works way better on my degenerating chunks of spine than any of the expensive painkiller scripts.

I've seen that article! It's more like a horrifying waxy sludge.

Bought a holder for mosquito coils that's shaped like a pig at the Asian grocery today.

Coffee is nasty shit.

sometimes literally

Have I posted this yet?

One of these things is not like the other.

its gotta be bottom left because it has the only invertebrate in it ^^

YIFF YIFF YIFF

Bottom right, 'cause it's the only one without a human in it. :rolleyes:

But the invertebrate is the only one to get a caress in the bargain.

I recently stopped drinking coffee, which I had black, unsweetened. I now fall asleep throughout the day.
I understand. Thank you for your reply.

Actually, there are two commonly used processes. One is the Swiss water process, which uses only a few mostly benign chemicals. You can usually only claim 97% caffeine-free coffee with this process (though I've seen claims above 99%, so I may be hedging a bit here), so this isn't for people with an intolerance to the substance. To "completely" decaffeinate coffee, methylene chloride or ethyl acetate are generally solvents of choice.

You may not have wanted to know this, but if you don't drink decaf, then you're pretty much OK. :\

You're both right. But that's what caffeine looks like, in impure form, like it would right after the decaffeination process. In pure form, it's a white powder. I believe the caffeine obtained in this process is purified and resold to soda manufacturers like Coca Cola, Pepsi and RC. But that may just be a rumor. :)

I swear I've seen that article that Kitsa talked about, but I can't remember what magazine it was. I think it was National Geographic because I read it in my shrink's office and it's one of the only magazines that he puts in the waiting room.

I think it did say that they sell it to soda companies after it's been purified.

So basically I'm not doing my baby any favors by going decaf.

it is National Geographic. The cover has a cup of coffee with a heart drawn in the foam. I can't remember the date because, as I said, it's boxed up.

Yep. If you want to quit the caffeine, try seltzer. Or herbal tea. Or Postum(tm) :x

I think she just wanted to taste the bean.

Here's that pig incense burner that I bought today:

According to the woman at the grocery store, you're supposed to put one of those mosquito coils inside of it. She didn't sell them, but I managed to find some at a hardware store.

Also, I'm guessing I'm the only person on the planet that actually likes postum?

Yeah, I just had a craving for the coffee taste.

It's this issue:

Yep, that's definitely the one that I read, too.

That's a cool incense burner. It looks like the kind of thing that could be found at Ichibankan before they closed their online store :(

HEY OTTO, TRY NOT TO PUT YOUR DICK IN THAT PIG OKAY

Im sure he planned on putting mosquito coils in there Sam, now we all know what you do in your spare time ^.~

but its snout... so... so inviting. I have to. I MUST.

JUST DON'T GET DRUNK AND CONFUSE IT WITH YOUR POCKET P*SSY OR A MELON YOU MICROWAVED AND CARVED A HOLE IN.

he molests items in old ladies gardens, he told me so.

OILED GARBAGE BAG

*winkwink*

that little slut is just begging for it

EDIT: I AM SORRY BUT NO

That's nsfw. :(

Not Safe For Gnomes

I KNOW WHERE THIS IS FROM

Well to be honest I only ever got the one Kidney stone.


Getting a migraine WHILE suffering from severe abdominal pain was harsh, but not as bad as when they told me I wouldn't get to keep the 'stone'.

I was told to cut down on milk, and .. cut up (?) on water. I did, but recently this stuff has been running a competition to win a dart board, so I have started drinking it again.

guys when did we get past 60000 posts :(

Anyone who points out when is not funny.

That's a lot of posts.

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=60000
May 20th, 2003, 11:12 AM

I'm waiting for post #100,000 - May 5, 2013. You heard it here first. Maybe.

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=100000
Aug 20th, 2003, 12:42 AM

you were close

these niggas is talkin about posts in this thread here

I take back what I said, this thread is hilarious.

Dude, the whole site is like in the mid 600's now.

My date would then be close to 1,000,000 overall posts. :\

<3

Can the Tranny be a person who looks like a boy but is really a girl?

Is that bunny's tongue coming out the other side of the cone?

No I think that's a piece of cookie.

Do they not have 'Flake' candy bars in America? :(

Ladies like to eat them so much they let their bathtubs overflow! :eek

Do we call it something else?

Not Safe For My Pants!

Yay 4 youtube embeds. Thanks Dr Boogie quote in my sig!

Watching that with internet eyes just gave me one of those "oh no my childhood" moments. :(

No, there's no cadbury flake here other than in specialty import stores.

I pay about double what you would just to get my flake fix every few months.

It would be even better if she let out a tub queaf.

We put flakes in ice cream. We call it a 99. I'm not sure if that is dirty? :(

That must be what's in his cone!

I cherish any flake bar I can get hold of, except someone always wants me to break off a piece for them and the entire damn bar disintegrates.

I just found a "hazelnut" flake a few months ago, and that was interesting.

Maybe that's why people hide it in the cone.

could be.

:wah

When I first read that, I thought he was saying that he didn't like playing Taboo.

What happened to Grislygus, dammit?

I miss drawing stupid pictures. Whenever a girlfriend has a bad day and I have free time, they get a silly picture in an attempt to cheer them up. I miss it! Haha.

Today I made a mix CD for a girl I used to work with. I drew a picture to go with it, with the song listing on the back of the sheet. It was a rabbit in a shirt&tie, because I named the mix "MIXOMA VIRUS; MIXOMATOSIS."

Try loveline, we don't care over here.