I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   Gaming 'n Toys (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=18)
-   -   Online chess players? (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18702)

KevinTheOmnivore Oct 8th, 2005 03:04 PM

Online chess players?
 
Alright, I don't know if this qualifies as "gaming" in the video game sense, but are there any chess geeks like me on the board? Anybody who might be interested in playing, just PM me, or reply here, whatever.

timrpgland Oct 8th, 2005 04:01 PM

I used to play chess quite a bit but have since lost most of my strategy, I wouldn't mind getting beaten sometime though.

In high school I made a chess board in shop class, it's pretty awesome. Made of oak and walnut. I have it sitting on my shelf, if only it didn't have these lame pieces. I don't have the discipline to work on making pieces.

Guitar Woman Oct 8th, 2005 06:31 PM

Re: Online chess players?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinTheOmnivore
Alright, I don't know if this qualifies as "gaming" in the video game sense, but are there any chess geeks like me on the board? Anybody who might be interested in playing, just PM me, or reply here, whatever.

Go to yahoo for that crap poindexter :/

KevinTheOmnivore Oct 8th, 2005 07:26 PM

Yeah, thanks, I do that already. Now shush!

soundtest Oct 10th, 2005 09:39 PM

i used to play but i am a fucking noob again ><

Tadao Jun 7th, 2011 01:26 PM

http://www.chess.com/members/view/Tadaooadat

Zhukov Jun 7th, 2011 02:27 PM

I like chess. I like collecting interesting pieces, boards etc, and I have a fantastic hand crafted Lewis chess set that I never touch.

I am shit at chess, though.

While I can handle losing to a child at Starcraft 2, I cannot handle losing to anyone at chess, since it's basically THE strategy game that separates the wheat from the chaff.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 7th, 2011 04:42 PM

I might play tonight. I used to use yahoo chess a lot. I'm not a speed player by any means though.

kahljorn Jun 7th, 2011 06:20 PM

i used to play chess a bit but now i think its kind of dumb cause everyone always uses the same strategy. MOVE MIDDLE PAWNS TwO STEPS FORWARD

Pentegarn Jun 7th, 2011 06:20 PM

I beat the last boss in chess and retired

executioneer Jun 7th, 2011 08:36 PM

why the hell this thread did get bumped

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 7th, 2011 08:59 PM

We were gonna do chess bumps.

Zhukov Jun 7th, 2011 09:45 PM

:lol

Tadao Jun 8th, 2011 02:28 PM

That was fucking awesome. :lol

Anyways, you have like 3 days to move your piece. Pub is making some aggressive moves. I bet he's not as shy about rape as he acts.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 8th, 2011 07:58 PM

CHALLENGE ISSUED.

stevetothepast Jun 8th, 2011 10:19 PM

I love cheese

Tadao Jun 8th, 2011 10:43 PM

Well played 10K, I gave you a fishy move tropy. Pub got the Queen trophy of course.

Shyandquietguy Jun 8th, 2011 10:58 PM

http://www.chess.com/echess/profile/CaptainFlameGore

I am already in the beginning with Tadao! But I want take all of you on! No damn kung-fu movie shit here!!

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 9th, 2011 12:46 AM

Lol. Thank you tadao. They have a bunch of ridiculous ass trophies on there.

Esuohlim Jun 9th, 2011 07:45 PM

I gave Pub the SHAKESPEARE trophy

Esuohlim Jun 10th, 2011 03:15 AM

lol I started a game with Gus WAY before he got games going with Pub and Tadao and OH GUESS WHERE HIS PRIORITIES LIE >:

Gus you're going to get the crappiest trophy I can find when we finish this game in 2014

kahljorn Jun 10th, 2011 04:20 AM

lol nice zugs

Grislygus Jun 10th, 2011 04:33 AM

well SOME PEOPLE got back to me real quick whenever I wasn't distracted by NewsRadio

Esuohlim Jun 10th, 2011 04:53 AM

Also when I finished up for the day with Pub he was like "Last one of the day, it's 3am".

It was only 11pm my time, which means he's only four time zones away from America's east coast.

Pram, I'd start sweating if I were you. He's getting closer :eek

Shrubfest Jun 11th, 2011 11:54 AM

I am debating whether I should learn chess for the 5th time.

All I ever played with my set was military marches and royal balls.

Grislygus Jun 11th, 2011 01:09 PM

Hell, I'd never played before; didn't think it would be as fun as it is

stevetothepast Jun 11th, 2011 09:26 PM

I'll take you on grislygoop.

Colonel Flagg Jun 12th, 2011 01:31 AM

http://www.chess.com/members/view/Colonel_Flagg

I'll be a sacrificial goat. :)

zeldasbiggestfan Jun 12th, 2011 01:37 AM

http://www.chess.com/echess/profile/zbf

BRING IT.

Esuohlim Jun 12th, 2011 06:42 AM

FUCK YOU CHESS I'M EXHAUSTED AND THE SUN'S COMING UP :(

WE ARE ALL SO BAD THAT WE'RE RUNNING AROUND THE BOARD IN CIRCLES

GOD DOESN'T EXIST

Shyandquietguy Jun 12th, 2011 06:53 AM

I ENJOYED OUR LAST GAME NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL IT WAS!!!

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 12th, 2011 06:58 AM

and the fuckin birds are out.

Grislygus Jun 12th, 2011 07:10 AM

Is anyone else watching other people's games? Here's some EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY from my and milhouse's game to give you a glimpse into the strategic minds of two of I-Mockery's premiere champions.

Quote:

Grislygus: Just watched your game against pub
Grislygus: I'm fucking WORRIED now
esuohlim: My first Pub game was a masterpiece of deception and cunning. The game I'm playing now I hella fucked up twice already
Grislygus: I basically got bored and stopped paying attention, then Pub and I both fucked up royal and now we're just dicking around because neither party is resigning
Grislygus: oh you bastard, I have no idea what you're plotting
Grislygus: fuck it
Grislygus: WHAT DID I JUST DO
esuohlim: wHOOPS :angrys
Grislygus: Oh man, I thought you were totally bluffing with the double queen suicide
esuohlim: I didn't plan on it but then shit got real
Grislygus: lol
Grislygus: once he finally kills me, you should watch my game against shyandquietguy and laugh your ass off
Grislygus: Thought I was gonna be all "gonna get a sick quick checkmate with a rook and queen sammich"
Grislygus: Then he raped me in the face
esuohlim: Dude, shyandquietguy is a beast. I was all high and mighty after beating Pub twice, but playing HIM was the online chess equivalent of putting on a dress and showing him my room
Grislygus: lol
Grislygus: actually, LMAO
Grislygus: It's funny because it's painfully true
esuohlim: i just got him good by checking him with knight and putting his queen in danger at the same time, put the guy knows how to rudely infiltrate ALL my openings
esuohlim: this is the safest game of chess i've ever played
Grislygus: because I just got my ass handed to me ha ah
esuohlim: MY ROOK IS ON THE PROWL
Grislygus: On the prowl, and one of them is fucked BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
esuohlim: AU CONTRAIRE
Grislygus: oh. Well, you COULD do that. If you were a dick.
esuohlim: i spent the last 20 moves trying to get my rooks SOMEWHERE
esuohlim: by the way my current game with shyandquietguy is taking forever because i suck at pinning him with the checkmate and i keep fucking up and it's hilarious and he's getting pissed
Grislygus: I think he kind of abandoned my ass beating in favor of you
Grislygus: THE FAVORITE
Grislygus: JUST BECAUSE YOUR SKINNY ASS CAN FIT INTO A MINISKIRT
esuohlim: if you keep my pawns pinned I'm turning this into a stalemate, you'd better believe it
Grislygus: Yeah, you just scraped my plan to fuck the one below your king
esuohlim: GUS YOU ARE MAKING THIS EXCEEDINGLY DIFFICULT
Grislygus: sneaky little bastard
Grislygus: Though I like the idea of my king scared shitless trying to act cool around his posse, with a giant black rook driving around the neighborhood
esuohlim: serious lol
esuohlim: OH FUCK HERE COMES THE BAD NEWS
esuohlim: ROOK GON' INVESTIAGE
esuohlim: *INVESTIGATE
Grislygus: OH SHIT DOG, RONNIE BITCH GONNA RUN
Grislygus: RUN BITCH, RUN. GET DAT CONVERSION
esuohlim: oh man i am so sorry for this oh well
Grislygus: I'm laughing so hard
Grislygus: AWW SHEEIT, RONNIE BITCH GONNA GIT IT
Grislygus: AW POOR RONNIE, BRO
esuohlim: :lol
Grislygus: whoopsidaisee
Grislygus: LET'S DO IT FOR JOHNNY MAN
Grislygus: LET'S DO IT FOR JOHNNY!
Grislygus: "Ronnie"
Grislygus: WHATEVS BRA
esuohlim: lol stalemate way to go loser
esuohlim: shit, nevermind i must have stalemated the quietguy game >:
Grislygus: Now he's gonna get you
Grislygus: Sneaking up to your windows and taking pictures and shit
Grislygus: "THIS GUY. HE'S THE GUY. STALEMATED MY GAME"
esuohlim: GUY'S SHIFTY. also you should check out that game I just played with him when you get the chance, it's a fucking debacle
esuohlim: PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
Grislygus: yeah, will do. I'm waiting for Tadao to hurry the hell up so I can end my current games and watch your matches
esuohlim: fuckin' queen's gotta loop around
esuohlim: BUT WAIT
esuohlim: PERHAPS
esuohlim: IT IS SIMPLER
Grislygus: No, it's not. I aint' pulling no fancy tricks and overlooking something
esuohlim: HOLD IT I WILL NOW ATTEMPT TO OFFER A DRAW
esuohlim: if it does through without your consent i'll feel like a DICK so nvm
esuohlim: you won this game fair and square. it's like you won the race to the short bus
Grislygus: one sec. bear with me
Grislygus: what
Grislygus: WHAT
Grislygus: BULLSHIT WHAT
Grislygus: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PROGRAMMING IS THIS
esuohlim: YOU FUCKED IT UP, AAAAAHHHH
Grislygus: I WAS GONNA LOOP BACK WITH THE ROOK, MOVE THE TOP BISHOP OUT OF THE WAY AND CHECKMATE YOU RETARD COMPUTER
Grislygus: DAMN YOU COMPUTER
Grislygus: WTF
esuohlim: this is glorious
Grislygus: So if any of us just up and SAY it's a draw, it is?
Grislygus: Actually, thats awesome.
esuohlim: probably not, you'd probably get a request and you can shoot that shit down
Grislygus: I'm going to use that on shyandquietguy right now
esuohlim: all right, gussy. good game and peace out mah nigg
Grislygus: It didn't even ask me if I was cool with it, lol
esuohlim: it wasn't me, it was a stalemate. you fucked it up yourself, brotha
esuohlim: see, it's my turn and i can't move AND i'm not in check either
Grislygus: Naw, if that top bishop gets moved after I put the rook on the top line, it's checmate
Grislygus: COMPUTER ANALYSIS: COMPUTER IS A BITCH
I WILL FIND THE COMPUTER CHESS OVERLORD HIVE MIND AND MURDER IT WITH FIRE

Also turns out it was not just SHyandquetguy's turn, he had already checkmated me :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 12th, 2011 02:09 PM

milhouse beat me last night too. He pulled some anexation of puerto rico shit and flipped the script.

Zhukov Jun 12th, 2011 03:30 PM

I feel this is out of my league.

If there is an online version of paper scissors rock that we can get into or boggle or something, I'd do that.

Fathom Zero Jun 12th, 2011 03:41 PM

I play Go! You should learn that, Zhukov.

Shyandquietguy Jun 12th, 2011 10:15 PM

Pub has performed a reach around and he is just sitting there with his cock in my fucking ass waiting til I can't take this shit no more! >:

Guitar Woman Jun 12th, 2011 10:40 PM

http://www.chess.com/members/view/GenuineSaucy

Come at me bros

Fathom Zero Jun 12th, 2011 10:50 PM

http://www.chess.com/members/view/Laddio-Roji

Guitar Woman Jun 13th, 2011 01:27 AM

Shyandquietguy kicked the shit out of me >:

http://www.chess.com/echess/analysis.html?id=45657696

I want you to know I spent that entire game wringing my hands and scowling while all of my Sburban Jungle remixes were on loop. SHIT WAS INTENSE.

Shyandquietguy Jun 13th, 2011 02:09 AM

Technically it was a draw but I still kicked your ass for sure!!

I believe this may be my third I-mock taken down!

Two have taken me down, Esouhlim and Pub Lover!

elx Jun 13th, 2011 02:47 AM

mine!

Shyandquietguy Jun 13th, 2011 05:36 AM

Ach! You people treat your pawns like fat children you tease but later regret!

Their entrapment in pulled post holes is their doing! No matter how unkempt the grass is!

kahljorn Jun 13th, 2011 06:34 PM

the point of pawns is to make a line the enemy can't cross without getting killed by a pawn/something else :O

CHESS ADVICE FROM DR. KAHLJORN

darkvare Jun 13th, 2011 06:59 PM

i used to have a lego chess game but i missplaced the cd

Shyandquietguy Jun 14th, 2011 01:12 AM

Guitar Woman mashed my god damn face in.

LET ME SEE YOU TRY TO DO THAT SHIT AGAIN!!

PS: ENJOY YOUR SHITTY STRAW BROOM TROPHY!!! NYLON'S FOR CHAMPS BTW!!!

Tadao Jun 14th, 2011 01:39 AM

I think I've added everyone :eek

Colonel Flagg Jun 14th, 2011 05:19 AM

I can't believe I'm saying this but WHERE THE HELL IS ZBF?

Colonel Flagg Jun 14th, 2011 05:20 AM

Who am I kidding - I don't know wtf I'm doing.

Tadao Jun 15th, 2011 12:09 AM

I accepted ZBF and ELX but they have yet to start. :tear

Grislygus Jun 15th, 2011 02:10 AM

Sorry guys :lol last few days have been crazy IRL, I'll be quicker about getting murdered by you guys in the coming week

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 15th, 2011 02:44 AM

getting murdered is no fucking excuse. I do ghost moves alllllllllll the tiiiiiiiiime. Also yay booooooseeeeee

Esuohlim Jun 15th, 2011 01:07 PM

I've been MIA because I died of chess overdose that night :(

Fathom Zero Jun 15th, 2011 01:14 PM

Pub, our game's getting fucking intense. We're being too conservative. :lol

Tadao Jun 15th, 2011 01:27 PM

I think when I forfeited to Pub I lost like 200 points. :(

Fathom Zero Jun 15th, 2011 01:43 PM

There aren't many moves left to make where one of us won't lose a piece. And he already gave up a knight.

Tadao Jun 15th, 2011 01:55 PM

That's when sacrifices must be made!

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 15th, 2011 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 726377)
I've been MIA because I died of chess overdose that night :(

THAT GAME WAS FOR THE BIRDS.

Esuohlim Jun 16th, 2011 09:55 PM

Playing Flagg stresses me out. After every one of his moves I get about 10 different choices to make and they're all bad :(

Tadao Jun 16th, 2011 11:46 PM

I'm going to use my 1 free computer analysis a week on him. :(

Colonel Flagg Jun 17th, 2011 06:21 AM

THATS CHEATING! >:

Colonel Flagg Jun 17th, 2011 06:27 AM

Playing MIlhouse, Tadao, ShyGuy and Pub at the same time is playing havoc with my concentration, never mind actual work. :(

Tadao got me looking the wrong way and now I'm in real trouble. :( Never again on the mobile.

Tadao Jun 17th, 2011 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 726692)
THATS CHEATING! >:

:lol You can only use it after the game is over.

Pub is totally wrecking me right now.

Colonel Flagg Jun 17th, 2011 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 726693)
Never again on the mobile.

Boy that lasted long - nearly 6 hours. :\

Nice game, Tadao. :) You too, Pub. :):)

Tadao Jun 17th, 2011 03:32 PM

I'm gonna learn a lot from playing you guys. I make soooo many stupid moves. :(

Also, I think when I make a challenge, I'm gonna set it to 1 day to move.

Tadao Jun 17th, 2011 08:38 PM

Wow, I ran the analysis on my game with Flagg and it totally breaks down what you did wrong and what your opponent did wrong as well. It also gives you good alternatives.

Colonel Flagg Jun 17th, 2011 09:39 PM

Now you know most of my play is pure dumb luck.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 18th, 2011 02:31 AM

Flagg broke out the pro opening on me. I need to go over my opening techniques again.

Colonel Flagg Jun 18th, 2011 02:42 AM

^^^ What? ;)

Milhouse is giving me what for, SnQ is giving me an aggressive game, miss e just started playing and I have a followup challenge from Tadao, in addition to our current game, Bill. Plus, ZBF has gone missing. (this last is fortunate, otherwise I'd have to keep track of 5 games at once) This is the last time I have so many games going on at once.

Tadao, you'll get a rematch when I finish a few games. Promise. :tired

Shyandquietguy Jun 18th, 2011 02:51 AM

Strike First! Strike Hard! Show no mercy!!

I was experimenting on Pub and thought I had made a big mistake! Then out of know where I literally see the most glorious check mate possible and take it!! My luck is going good guys! Get cautious!!

Seriously, check my game with him. The chess badass contest begins NOW! Whoever can intentionally round someone up into such a thing from the get go fucking wins

Tadao Jun 18th, 2011 12:08 PM

:lol I keep 11 going. That's one of the reasons I'm so horrible at chess. ;)

Esuohlim Jun 19th, 2011 02:01 PM

I think I'm just about screwed here against Flagg, but at least I made it a struggle >:)

Tadao Jun 19th, 2011 02:50 PM

I just accidentally checkmated Esu :lol

Esuohlim Jun 19th, 2011 03:07 PM

lol

That's how I always play against Shyandquietguy :(

Tadao Jun 19th, 2011 03:35 PM

Anyone got any ideas on how to checkmate my little bother?

http://www.chess.com/echess/game.html?id=45579929

I think I have to move my king forward. :( Run the game backwards 10 steps to see why. But then he can move his queen or any other piece for a step. I don't want him chasing me. :(

Tadao Jun 19th, 2011 08:17 PM

Hey guys, I say we boycott ZBF

Colonel Flagg Jun 19th, 2011 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 726845)
:lol I keep 11 going. That's one of the reasons I'm so horrible at chess. ;)

Screw it, that's good enough for me. Challenge accepted! ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 727013)
I think I'm just about screwed here against Flagg, but at least I made it a struggle >:)

You want to resign? :D I think I'll end up with a King, queen and 2 bishops against your King in a few moves.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 727051)
Hey guys, I say we boycott ZBF

Agreed. >:

Esuohlim Jun 19th, 2011 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel Flagg (Post 727057)
I think I'll end up with a King, queen and 2 bishops against your King in a few moves.

I'm not going out without a fight!

Colonel Flagg Jun 19th, 2011 09:38 PM

Good! :D

kahljorn Jun 20th, 2011 04:50 AM

Quote:

Anyone got any ideas on how to checkmate my little bother?
im assuming you're black.. move your queen right next to him lol but move your bishop to a spot it can protect it first. he can try to move to kill your bishop but itll take him two moves.

so basically, move black rook diagnoly up and right and then move your queen all the way next to the king

the only thing he can do is move his queen in front of your queen. oh wait i didnt see the other pawn :O
alternatively you can move your pawn two spaces forward, next move move it forward again, next move move your queen next to it but then you have to move your king first

ooor you can move your bishop all the way up to next to your pawn, your queen will protect it, then you can m ove your pawn forward without having to move your queen and also your bishop can protect your queen for another check mate :O :O:O

this last ones the best cause you have two options for a checkmate

Tadao Jun 20th, 2011 12:20 PM

I think I'll take a chance on that last one, it looks like a killer :O

Tadao Jun 20th, 2011 03:23 PM

On scoring at chess dot com. I believe they score you on every move you make, not just weather you win or lose. If you blunder, you get negative points, if you make strong moves you gain points.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 20th, 2011 03:34 PM

I was trying to figure out how that worked.

Fathom Zero Jun 20th, 2011 03:34 PM

I'm getting immensely bored with chess now. That's why I am the way I am, Pub.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 20th, 2011 04:36 PM

If you castle queen side its like a dub step move.

Tadao Jun 20th, 2011 05:00 PM

I haven't gotten to that part of theories yet. Been watching http://www.chessvideos.tv/ and it has improved my game. I have a feeling we are all gonna become better harassers through all of this. We have Shyandquietguy to thank, he's the one who started all this.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 20th, 2011 05:16 PM

Tadao has some shady deals going on in this game.

Tadao Jun 20th, 2011 05:35 PM

HAH! You totally took me out. I started not looking were I move again. :(

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 20th, 2011 06:29 PM

I didn't even see that until the last second though. I was going to move my king away and try and save face.

kahljorn Jun 21st, 2011 04:30 AM

did you win with my checkmate :lol

dont forget if he sacrifices his queen you can still use your pawn :O

although i dont remember how it looked but he might've been able to kill your bishop with his horsey, but it still would've taken 2+ turns

Tadao Jun 21st, 2011 12:30 PM

Yeah, he played a very different move and changed the game completely. Fucker. >:

http://www.chess.com/echess/game.html?id=45579929

Guitar Woman Jun 21st, 2011 02:13 PM

This shit is going nowhere.

kahljorn Jun 22nd, 2011 01:38 AM

:lol you lost your queen?

pretty sure you lost dude he has more pieces than you and you can't move your pawns very easily :(

i guess you can move your pawn all the way to the left two spaces forward and start working towards the other end of the board

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2011 01:52 AM

yeah, he forced me to lose my queen. what a fag

Guitar Woman Jun 22nd, 2011 02:07 AM

I've killed off the queens so often that I've basically forgotten how to effectively use one in anything but the endgame.

I always get them out of the way if I have the option and am not in a position to box the enemy one up quickly.

Esuohlim Jun 22nd, 2011 03:05 AM

I'm still playing the same game against Flagg since last Thursday. Checkmate's in only about two moves but he's been gone all day.

And 10kV Ghost is pretty damn good and I still don't know how I beat him the first time I played him.

Tadao Jun 22nd, 2011 03:06 AM

I used to trade queens right away all the time, I can play without them.

Esuohlim Jun 22nd, 2011 03:09 AM

I don't mind trading queens unless I plan on doing something with it soon or if I'm already down a few pieces. Sometimes it's nice not having to worry all the time if it's in trouble or not

10,000 Volt Ghost Jun 22nd, 2011 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 727645)
I'm still playing the same game against Flagg since last Thursday. Checkmate's in only about two moves but he's been gone all day.

And 10kV Ghost is pretty damn good and I still don't know how I beat him the first time I played him.

Cuz you took my hasek.

kahljorn Jun 22nd, 2011 04:15 AM

i might make an account for this tomorrow since i dont have shit to do between 1245 and 530

except sleep in the library. other than that i guess i could study or pick up on chicks, but i dont really do either of those :lol
I GUESS I COULD START THOUGH.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:54 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.