Explanation, Please
 

So I inadvertently infuriated a Christian by even mentioning evolution today. Well, not infuriated, she just corrected me (despite not being in the conversation in the first place)


Would someone please explain what the borderline psychotics have made up this time, I can't even understand what the hell kind of point she was making.

Damit, you should have asked her to explain, this thread might of been a hit!

I didn't know the bitch, I wasn't going to ask her to explain the catchphrases Jim-Bob Urkel the local preacher has been spewing at his flock to keep them from thinking >:

That's why I'm asking you guys

Well how about this. She must have been eavesdropping for a while, maybe more of the early part of the conversation could help me/us.

Shit, the internet's not helping. "Evolution Revolution" is a pseudo-pro Darwin educational site, but the idiot's defensiveness and repetition of an easily memorized catchphrase (without an adequate or well-thought explanation) indicates bottom-of-the-barrel Christian ideas

Well, before this we were discussing gay freaks who like to travel the world and have sex with dolphins, which was followed by my loud, obnoxious friend's tale of fisting his girlfriend (it finished with her pissing on him). I can't actually remember how the hell religious debate came up

Lol, I searched it as well on Google and it really looks to be just a catchy title to get people to come to your seminar.

..

i dont know how you refrained from making the christian feel stupid :(

Maybe it was some weird denial thing, where she didn't even want to hear the word so she wanted it replaced with something else. Kind of like in the fourth Indiana Jones movie, where Jones tells Mutt not to call a snake a snake (so that he'll feel more comfortable touching it).

Honestly, I was completely intimidated by such fervent, stalwart, and burning insistence on something that contained no logic whatsoever.

And not even crazy, faith-based sense logic, either! Literally, there was no possible rationale I could come up with to explain the thought processes involved with the words coming out of her mouth. I mean, I get why most ultrareligious zealots believe what they do, but there was no explanation, at all, by anyone's belief structure, as to why the hell she would say the word "revolution" out of the blue, or expect anyone to know what the hell she was talking about

I think I love you Flagg.

Especially since it is the only sane answer to my confusion

Shame you didn't ask her what it was. Maybe she was trying to make a joke.

Nope, ZQ - those Religious Right Zealots don't know the meaning of the word "joke".

YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS - REPENT!

Just read the story about the Catholic Priest who wants all those HEATHEN Obama-voter-baby-killers to seek absolution before receiving communion at HIS church.

Seriously? Where can I find that story?

And of course they can't make jokes. They can try though. They probably heard of this mysterious thing called "humor" that people set so much store by and want to take a stab at it.

Religious Right Humor:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BECAUSE HE WAS GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Believe me, you don't need that kind of humor ....

Just google "Chick Tracts"
That's all you need.

I Loooooove Jack Chick!!! :love :lol The trouble is ... he's not trying to be funny. My favorite has to be "Allah Had No Son":

"I've been a Muslim all my life, but after talking with Mr. Christian for 90 seconds, I now realize the error of my ways, and wish to be baptized."

Now that's humor, baby!

There are so many awesome tracts that I can't can never pick just one.
Halloween, the rock band, the one with the little girl in the hospital because grandpa is a Shriner. They're all amazing.

What about the Harry Potter one, where the two girls decide to get spirit guides (which aren't even evil, yet Chick has them be synonymous with demons) to let them work magic like Harry Potter. The one girl's Uncle Bob (the holy guy) tells her (really) that "the Potter books open a doorway that will put untold millions of kids in Hell"

Or the D&D one?

Or the ones about homosexuality, where Lil' Suzy tells her friends "if someone tries to make you gay, run away from them!"

Last one that comes up is the one where he somehow theorized that the Holocaust was not the Nazis' fault (as no Christian would kill) and that it was an elaborate plot actually brought on by the Vatican. :confused:

And has anyone checked out his "sources"? The people are almost all known to be liars/unhinged. One of them, a former nurse, roomed with a delusional woman named Elaine (who claimed to have been a Satanistic High Priestess for 17 years), and appeared to have administered nearly-lethal levels of Demerol on Elaine.

Jack Chick is very special and has no need for your logic.

Apparently. How else would he blame Catholicism for founding Islam and Communism?

And I remember one where a girl's sick and gets saved by her Grandmother but I don't know the one about the Shriner. What was it called?