Theosophical Ass Scratcher
 

If man was made in God's image, does God have to wipe his/her ass after shitting?
This Revelation came to me while walking the dog.

If you were made in God's image, does that mean that God is fucking dumbass?

NOW you're starting to get the idea. One gold star for Helm!

Gods fecal waste is immaculate and as soft and swiftly moving as the western wind.

The rectum of the lord needs not be cleansed with earthly sheets of two-ply bark!

Our father in heaven is too busy masturbating.

Can you imagine what God's semen would go for retail? We'd have little test-tube jesuses popping up all over - healing Lepers, throwing moneylenders out of temples - they'd probably form their own street gang a-la West Side Story. And the choreography! Immaculate.

I have to agree that the choreography would be pretty supernatural. I'm sure Lionel Richie would kill himself after witnessing such moves.

I just saw Chicago. Now that movie's got some choreography (and shiny outfits). If Jesus was alive today, what would he wear? I think Jesus is the sort of guy who buys sale items from exclusive designers from places like Thailand and Egypt.

Surveying the churches in my area, it looks like Jesus is torn between Tommy Hilfiger and Fubu garb.