You know something? I feel like venting, and I'm going to use this board to do it.

My problem lies at the root. I can't understand myself. I look at this objectively, logically: this girl is completely unattracted to me, completely wrong for me, and probably unable to hold a serious intellectual conversation. And yet, in spite of that, I can't help but fall for her like a brick.

And I don't know why.

I always thought I'd retain control over my feelings. I shouldn't be breaking apart at the seams for a bitch like this. How can I possibly feel this way about someone who treats me like I'm a fucking human trashbag? How can I feel this way about someone like her when there are so many other girls that I might actually have a chance with, that don't treat me like shit, that are at least as or more physically attractive... that have more of the qualities that I think I want to find in someone?

How the hell can I love someone so hopelessly? How the fuck does it happen?

When I sit back and reflect on my life... when I reflect on the past... I remember the moment when I promised myself that I would be nothing but logical. That anything else, ANYTHING ELSE, was inexcusable. But that is hollow, for what is logic used for without put in the context of desire? The key, I later realized, is molding desire so that it is easily attainable; that is the way to achieve contentment.

Or so I thought. I would discover that desire cannot be molded, only eroded with the passage of time. And so I embraced desire, with logic simply being the tool employed to attain it.

Yet, now I think again. I cannot allow myself to want this girl. It is not only difficult; it is impossible to live through. And so, I face my inner feelings, and, once again, build a wall - I build a dam even higher, waiting yet again for the inevitable flood.

My thoughts always bring me back to the same thing: I cannot change what I desire, I can only try to contain it. However, I must control what I desire, for I never want what I can have. A never-ending paradox of pain.

This is far beyond any girl in my life; she merely brings it to the forefront. I always desire that which I cannot find - a society of those who embrace agnosticism as the true path; the growth of a libertarian culture; a way to escape the natural limitations of a single individual; a way to truly be not only an individual, but independent of everything so as to escape that which my emotions are tied to.

What is it in my psyche that screws me over? Why can't I simply accept life and be happy? What masochistic element of my mind possesses me? And how can I rid myself of it? That is all I want to know. I'm tired of being trapped in the mires of my own mind.

I remember when I contemplated the knife, so many years ago... it was the only way I thought I could find the answer. Yet the knife will never tell me the truth. I must discover the truth in life. That is the burden which I must carry.

I think that my poem summarizes my thoughts concisely:

Mirror

Look into the other side
Hatred growing with the gaze
See only the flaws you carry
The trappings you cannot raze
Impossible to become what you desire
Impossible to escape shackles of man
Blood falls with the newborn shards
As serrated as dreams of lambs.

...And while I'm sure that I will get no sympathy on this board, I knew that I needed to express myself. So, if you're going to flame me, go fuck yourself.

Thanks for taking things out of context, Boogie.

I don't care about what happens to me in my school life, because it can't really get much worse.

What I do need to stop caring about is this girl.

Fag.

Fuck you, you worthless pile of dogshit.

Fag.

douchebag >:

Look into the other side
Hatred growing with the gaze
See only the flaws you carry
The trappings you cannot raze
Impossible to become what you desire
Impossible to escape shackles of man
Blood falls with the newborn shards
As serrated as dreams of lambs.


:lol :lol

You should make a musical video for that poem, and its just one frame.

what do lambs dream about? i would think it would be nice things like milk and grass?

My last post wasn't directed at you, OAO, but MetalMilitia. But you're just as much of an idiot for not understanding that on your own, and for other, more apparent reasons.

Probably the best line from that, but come on, people. This is hilarious.

The whole point of this site is to laugh at people and their revelations, stances, hopes, dreams, and situations. Don't feel guilty about enjoying this thread a millionth as much as I do. :lol

ok mad max

I said the point of the site was to laugh at people and their works, since it's based around the word 'mockery.' That isn't the all-encompassing point of the forum, but it does draw somewhat from the site it's connected to.

What M&M does is stage repetitive, pointless, and humorless attacks on anyone that will listen to him, then through in a laughing emoticon for seasoning. What I do is stage sporadic, inspired, and hilarious attacks on anyone that deserves it.

Then I suck my own dick on that same forum, move some threads to mock wars, ban someone, and call it a day.

you left out the part about hanging out with your UNDERLINGS. :lol

Yeah I'm just fucking with you. Pretend there's no 'with' in that sentence.

I think Chojin has a point. Do you honestly believe I post on I-Mock for sympathy? No. That would be pointless.

Of course. You're just a sucker for punishment.

Which explains why you keep going back to these girls for more of the humiliation that you crave so much. I bet you deliberately lose at fencing and leave yourself open for the strikes that hurt the most, too.

Fag.

this is my favourite thread.

Im gonna give him some credit that he does deserve

OAO3405: I masturbate to bukkake.
Cortneigh23: bukkake?
OAO3405: Don't know, don't ask.

That made me giggle :)

Nah. Possibly on the subconscious level, which apparently is conflicting with my conscious mind.

And don't you think there are better ways to inflict pain that fencing? I mean, granted, it really sucks if your blade snaps and comes back up through your mask, piercing your windpipe, but those kinds of things are pretty rare.

^That last part being addressed to Helm, obviously.

Around.watching 7th heaven and doing homework.
call the house or jus leave it for whenever i get back

ArOuNd.
watching t.v and doing homework.
call the house or jus leave it.




These are some of the best away messages I've ever seen! Good golly miss molly don't let this one go, OAO!