Tales from the Longbox #27: "My Comic Book Hit List: Part 2"
 

Automatically generated comment thread for Tales from the Longbox #27: "My Comic Book Hit List: Part 2".

Speedball later went on to become frontman for The Darkness.

Speedball is retarded.

That picture of Granny Goodness looks highly suggestive to me. Look closely and you'll see what I mean

Gotta love the Toyman picture. I can just imagine a Superman thought balloon for it.

"Shucks! My Superspeed can't keep up with his super pogo stick, I'm going to have to think of some way to catch this dastardly foe."

And everyone hates Speedball, I think he exists to be hated so people won't notice other marginally lame Marvel characters.

Yeah I gotta say, lots of lame-o's on this list. Karnevil and Toyman are the worse >:(

Granny Goodness = Geriatric S&M Posterchild. ^_^

friggen hilarious proto, that had me laughing right the way thru

Legend has it that Mysterio used to work in an aquarium and got fired once he was discovered stealing exotic fishes to seel them for some extra cash. As a way to remind his former tormentors who he is and why he is back causing all that trouble he wears that fishbowl in the hopes of letting all aquarium employers know that their underlings must get more retribution for their work.

Great article. Just makes you wonder just how many third-rate shit-heroes there are. I mean, it seems like the Teen Titans kills off one every other month.

Hey Proto, have you picked up the Deadpool/GLI Summer Spectacular? It came out right after Cable & Deadpool 30 (and features a picture of that comic and Front Lines 10). Anyway, one of the main plots of the Summer Spectacular features Squirrel Girl verbally tearing apart Penance. It also features the Great Lakes Initiative actually beating A.I.M.

by god, these things are awful.
Ive never realized how ridiculous it all was until you made me reexamine them.
Decline of american comic book industry.

The only thing that Arcade ever contributed was the introduction of one of the shitter SNES games to ever exist. It's a good thing he didn't survive past the 80's.

Yay, mental rape! - indeed, Mr Protoclown.

Speedball/Penance is a good example of how a stupid character can get even worse, if you let certain Marvel writers near it. But I did enjoy the GLA's handling of Penance that Mr T L Wolf mentions. The mighty Squirrel Girl tries to stop this whole mess from ever happening, and sort that emo loser out. Damn funny.

Great stuff, Protoclown, for a number of reasons:
A) Interesting point about the Sentinels, I never thought about it that way before.
B) It's funny how Mr. Sinister, who I think was on your first list, started the whole "third Summers brother" thing which led to Vulcan. Yet another reason to hate him.
C) The fact that the civil war resulted in Captain America dying but Speedball living proves that someone at Marvel truly hates the fans.

I'll be more careful next time my grandmother is around. I can never be so sure about how mighty her frying pan can be!

Mysterio, yeah...I'd call him the worst of the bunch only because he stumbles around in a really esteemed mythos. Most of these idiots are Post-It notes on Post-It notes on Post-It notes, but Mysterio was a Really Bad Idea right from the so-called Silver Age. And the helmet is just meant to distract from the fact that he's wearing Big Mac containers in lieu of proper gauntlets.

Personally, I like Mysterio and Arcade because, well, they're total losers in every aspect of the word. Yet they still keep trying for some unexplained reason. It's like "Manos" The Hands Of Fate. It's just trying so hard to be good, but it just makes them suck even harder. So, yeah, I like them because they suck.

"Mysterio? I think I had a bowl of Mysteri-O's for breakfast!"

I got two little disagreements, Proto. First off, I though on the whole, you're totally right about Toyman, I did kinda like what Paul Dini and Bruce Timm did with him in the superman show, and even more how they used him once they moved over to JLU. On the Speedball thing, though yes, he can be exceedingly annoying and the whole Penance thing is just stupid, quite personally, I was a big fan of the "New Warriors: Reality Bites" mini. I think it was under-rated, mostly because Marvel's terrified about releasing any books that aren't grim and gritty any more. Quesada, if you don't remember, tried to squeeze NextWave (awesome) into a pocket universe as soon as he realized what it was, totally forgetting that you're really not allowed to change the rules half way through the game. The Warrior's mini was just a fun read. It had a lot of charm and told a good story about heroes who were, when it all came down to it, losers. It was one of the first reasons I got pissed off at Millar with the Civil War. Why'd they have to destroy one of the few teams that was actually unique in the Marvel Universe? Perhaps it's because Mark Millar doesn't believe in fun.

On the other side of the coin, Proto; what "damnit, they are so dead right now it should rhyme" comic book characters do you think should be brought back to life?

Seconded.... you need to do a feature on characters they should bring back.

I did often wonder why Arcade was even considered to be a villain in Marvel:Ultimate Alliance.It was kinda fun to see Deadpool rag on him though.

I have to admit that I've always liked Mysterio as a character dating back to when I read his original appearances in my dad's old comic collection. It's probably because he was one of the few Spider-Man villains that didn't have a clearcut advantage over Spidey, but was just some doofus in a costume.
Besides, how can you not love that posted image of him with the infinitely long list of possible captions? Everything from "KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!" to "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" to "ACTING!" to "JAZZ HANDS!" fits.

Why does Mysterio have so many breasts?

Darnitall, Proto! I'm totally not making this up, I have been working on and off with a stand up bit about how life is a lot like being forcibly sodomised by the ultrahumanite that requires a lengthy, detailed description of the ultrahumanite and you have beaten me to the punch in realizing the absurdist potential of the ultrahumanite! Touche,sir!