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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

MarioRPG Nov 6th, 2006 02:37 PM

I'm going to go with yes. :(

Pub Lover Nov 6th, 2006 05:48 PM

I hope he's having a better time with it than I did. ;D

Sam Nov 6th, 2006 07:51 PM

He just posted in the world ending thread. :(

Fathom Zero Nov 6th, 2006 11:07 PM

How do you make thirty dollars quickly with a busted leg in the way?

Sethomas Nov 6th, 2006 11:37 PM

Sell plasma.

Fathom Zero Nov 6th, 2006 11:46 PM

Would they take my plasma even if I lived overseas for four years? I hear that they won't. Screw 'em. My blood's as good as anyone elses.

Could one sell plasma at the age of fifteen, though?

Sethomas Nov 7th, 2006 12:52 AM

No. But maybe if you just bled into a bucket, you could find someone interested in buying it.

ArrowX Nov 7th, 2006 01:03 AM

shit i just shoveled some random assholes driveway and sidewalk for $30. You people should live in my town where 78% of the population rake in over $200 000 a year!

Sethomas Nov 7th, 2006 01:50 AM

Yeah, but that's only $52.98 American anyways.

FartinMowler Nov 7th, 2006 12:37 PM

Quote:

shit i just shoveled some random assholes driveway and sidewalk for $30. You people should live in my town where 78% of the population rake in over $200 000 a year!
Buy a snowblower :) no snow here yet...can you find out what the average contractor charges for a residential snow plowing season for me? I charge $300

executioneer Nov 7th, 2006 12:38 PM

guys i'm sorry i haven't been reading the boards i've been busy playing ultima underworld :x

Pub Lover Nov 7th, 2006 06:53 PM

Britney Spears has filed for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline. :tear

executioneer Nov 7th, 2006 07:17 PM

dear me

GADZOOKS Nov 7th, 2006 07:24 PM

what a bitch

Sam Nov 7th, 2006 08:22 PM

He was too good for her anyways.

Fathom Zero Nov 7th, 2006 08:57 PM

She wanted him for his money and his promising rap career.

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 12:02 PM

I just noticed that I mispronounce pronunciation. :lol


8th worst newsreader ever! ;)

Esuohlim Nov 8th, 2006 01:05 PM

I blame your goofy New Zealand accent.

SHE'S A BEAUT haha right ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 02:28 PM

I blame your ugly face!

Which we've never seen, haha right? ;)

liquidstatik Nov 8th, 2006 02:59 PM

THIS IS TRUE

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 03:12 PM

MISFIRE!


RELOAD! ;)

sadie Nov 8th, 2006 04:11 PM

hey,pub,what happened with the vicar?

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 04:34 PM

Oh lady, I don't feel like writing a sequel to that story right now.

Maybe later. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glowbelly
HOMEMADE VEGETABLE BEEF SOUP

1 lb. ground beef
1 c. celery
1 c. onions
1 pkg. frozen mixed vegetables
1 c. chopped tomatoes
2 c. cubed potatoes
2 c. chopped cabbage
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
2 c. beef broth
1 bay leaf
1/4 tsp. marjoram
1/4 tsp. thyme leaves

Brown ground beef; drain; set aside. In kettle cook celery, onions and chopped tomatoes until vegetables are tender. Add mixed vegetables, potatoes, cabbage, 2 cups beef broth, salt, pepper, 1 bay leaf, 1/4 teaspoon marjoram leaves and 1/4 teaspoon thyme. Add ground beef. Simmer 1 hour.

Make it. Eat it.

Like it. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 04:36 PM

Or else! >:

Mothers. ;)

sadie Nov 8th, 2006 04:37 PM

i'm not a supermom like glow. gimme the can. :(

Sethomas Nov 8th, 2006 05:13 PM

At first I thought that said "vegetarian beef soup", and thought "oh those antipodals are so wacky".

sadie Nov 8th, 2006 05:17 PM

i just wanted to say vicar again.

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sethomas
At first I thought that said "vegetarian beef soup", and thought "oh those antipodals are so wacky".

In context a vegan telling people to eat beef is probably wacky.

Just like Catholics killing themselves. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 06:19 PM

trancesapphire: sevenforce isn't as big a fag as everyone says
Chojin: yuh huh
trancesapphire: :(
Chojin: he's exactly like pub, only a little more immature and black ;<

Chojin Nov 8th, 2006 06:23 PM

haha ;>

where'd you get that ;<

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 06:26 PM

Like an incontinent puppy, everytime you make a mess, you come running to tell me all about it.

You're just like a cute puppy. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 06:28 PM

This thread needs a loveline counterpart.


But about porn ;)

Chojin Nov 8th, 2006 06:28 PM

only more immature and black?

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 06:29 PM

This thread needs a loveline counterpart.


But about porn. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin
only more immature and black?

Dang, if this was any other thread I'd suggest you delete that one post of mine so that your joke works.

But why stop at just one? ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn
last time i had KFC (or kentucky fart your pants in) it was all bloody on the inside and so wet and slippery and disgusting and greasy. ugh. We got a three piece meal each and only ate like one piece.
potatoes were okay i guess.

Did Kahljorn ever get his sex change?

Pictures! ;)

xbxDaniel Nov 8th, 2006 08:30 PM

I worked at KFC once. Worst job I ever had. There was this really hairy guy that worked there, and I swear we got a complaint about hair in the food every day. KFC is some nasty shit anyways though.

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 09:18 PM

I-Mockery Chat Room (THE MADDEST OF LIBS, DEAR SIR)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbxDaniel
I worked at KFC once. There was this really hairy guy that worked there...

Where do you work now, Judy?


I miss Helm. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbxDaniel
I worked at KFC once.

Did you ever get your sex change?

Pictures! ;)

Pub Lover Nov 8th, 2006 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by For his 9928th post Esuohlim
Whoops I'm sorry I thought I clicked on Loveline.

Everyone look out for more of these "Whoops I'm sorry I thought I clicked on [forum]" posts as we count down to Esuohlim's 10000th post.

The final countdown. ;)

executioneer Nov 9th, 2006 12:33 PM

do da doo doo
do de do doo doo
do da doo doo

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/6132140.stm
BBC News[/url]]A British man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night.

Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.


MetalMilitia Nov 9th, 2006 02:01 PM

When will people learn launching rockets from your arse is a bad idea.

Yggdrasill Nov 9th, 2006 02:54 PM

I wish I had friends who did this stuff so I could say, "Girl I was there"

executioneer Nov 9th, 2006 02:57 PM

and people think I'm crazy for taping twenty roman candles together and then aiming them at people :rolleyes

executioneer Nov 9th, 2006 02:58 PM

WITH THEIR CONSENT, MIND

Yggdrasill Nov 9th, 2006 03:08 PM

They probably don't think your actually going to do it

executioneer Nov 9th, 2006 03:21 PM

well to be fair i give them a bundle of candles to shoot back :(

Yggdrasill Nov 9th, 2006 03:37 PM

people just don't appreciate rockets like they used to :(

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FartinMowler
Do you touch your wiener Willy?

:fartin

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:42 PM

We need a best of Emu page. A page of nothing but your favourite Emu quotes. You know, the funny & awesome things he's said over the years. I can't think of any, that's why I need you guys to do it.

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:44 PM

Why do my worst posts always remind me of Fartin? SAD FACE?

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:46 PM


Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:48 PM

I think I look fat.

And my teeth are really crooked.

My grandfather's shoe/slipper on my head is just a thing.

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:50 PM

OH MY FUCKING GODS! IS MY EYE WONKY?! :7F

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Why do my worst posts always remind me of Fartin? SAD FACE?

Or: Why do I consider the posts that remind me of Fartin to be my worst?

Or is that obvious? ;)

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by executioneer
and people think I'm crazy for taping twenty roman candles together and then aiming them at people

I think it makes you cool. ;)


This is the last year of fire works in the future.

The government couldn't handle so many cool dudes.

Pub Lover Nov 9th, 2006 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [url=http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/newsdetail1.asp?storyID=107225
Future News[/url]]It has been revealed a Christchurch toddler was set on fire by a stray fireworks rocket last weekend.


Vicky Tranter says on Saturday night the family let off fireworks from a Boom Box purchased from the Warehouse in a park near their home in Bishopdale.


She says her daughter was about 40 metres away when the firework, called a Heat Wave, malfunctioned and burst into a fire ball. They fired off about five fireworks which were fine and the sixth one shot everyway and went straight into her daughter's pram.


Her baby has third degree burns to her face, neck and chest, doctors told her a woolen singlet saved her from more severe burns.


Fathom Zero Nov 10th, 2006 12:05 AM

The greatest single audio clip of the internet:

http://www.progressiveboink.com/just...ts_special.wav

GADZOOKS Nov 10th, 2006 01:45 AM

Who cares.

Pub Love you kinda look like Hound before he was skinny.

sadie Nov 10th, 2006 02:15 PM

vicar.

FartinMowler Nov 10th, 2006 05:13 PM

Everybody on this site is starting to get heavier and older...makes me feel great :) Is that how they measure your fat head in New Zealand? with a shoe? ;)

Yggdrasill Nov 10th, 2006 05:58 PM

Everyone knows you put a shoe over your head to scare away Xena and hobbits. :rolleyes

Jixby Phillips Nov 10th, 2006 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FartinMowler
Is that how they measure your fat head in New Zealand? with a shoe? ;)

:lol

Fathom Zero Nov 11th, 2006 12:45 PM

My mum and step-father are getting a divorce because he tried to kill her with my Oxycodine.

xbxDaniel Nov 11th, 2006 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Quote:

Originally Posted by xbxDaniel
I worked at KFC once.

Did you ever get your sex change?

Pictures! ;)

I've got to whore myself for the operation money. KFC money won't pay the bills. :(

GADZOOKS Nov 11th, 2006 06:33 PM

Just put your dick in the fryer, presto, you are a woman with a kentucky fried cock.

MarioRPG Nov 11th, 2006 10:36 PM

You could say, "wanna see my KFC? IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEEEEAN!"

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 01:11 PM

"Beyonce Knowles and Eva Longoria will play lesbian lovers in a new movie." :wank

Sethomas Nov 12th, 2006 01:44 PM

Jurassic Park IV?

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FartinMowler
Is that how they measure your fat head in New Zealand? with a shoe? ;)

:lol

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam
LADIES, THIS ISN'T THE CHAT ROOM. >:


Sam Nov 12th, 2006 03:37 PM

DID SOMEONE SAY THEY'D LIKE A SPARKLING COLD DRINK?

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 04:45 PM

GUYS, PUB JUST DEDICATED A SONG TO NOTHING4BUDDHA AND ME ON THE NEW ZEALAND RADIO AND I HEARD IT.

PUB'S VOICE = THE NEW HOTNESS. :yum

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 05:13 PM

:conspiracy

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [url=http://www.newswire.co.nz/main/viewstory.aspx?storyid=346083&catid=0
Future News[/url]]A study by the Institute of Environmental Science and Research has concluded that storing meat in chilly bags makes a dramatic difference in keeping it cold.

Scientists conducted experiments with raw meat being left on the back seat of a hot car for several hours, and found that it rose in temperature to 35 degrees Celsius after 90 minutes.

Meat left in the car boot rose to 21 degrees, while there was only a marginal increase in the temperature of meat stored in chilly bags or insulated with ice packs.

The scientists say although the cooking process kills most bacteria that would grow on food left in a car longer than two hours, spores and some toxins would survive.

The Food Safety Authority says chilled foods that gets warmer than four degrees centigrade, must be refrigerated within two hours to prevent bacteria growing.

SCIENCE! :eek

Esuohlim Nov 12th, 2006 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam
GUYS, PUB JUST DEDICATED A SONG TO NOTHING4BUDDHA AND ME ON THE NEW ZEALAND RADIO AND I HEARD IT.

PUB'S VOICE = THE NEW HOTNESS. :yum

How did you hear it >:

Pub do you have any clips I like sexy voices :(

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 07:50 PM

I emailed him a low bitrate recording.

No, Sam made me promise to give no one else any clips.

I don't like my faggy sounding voice. :eek


:lol

xbxDaniel Nov 12th, 2006 07:51 PM

You tease.

Esuohlim Nov 12th, 2006 07:51 PM

Sir you'd better send it to me or I'll put off putting your update up on my site even longer. >:

Esuohlim Nov 12th, 2006 07:52 PM

For those of you who haven't checked I put up a loop of "I Palindrome I" by TMBG on the front page a while ago (that one's for YOU Sam :eek)

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 07:53 PM

Esuohlim, do you have any pictures of yourself that you're willing to post? :eek

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 07:54 PM

OH MAN FIRST PUB ON THE RADIO

NOW MILHOUSE BACKSWARDS

WHO'S NEXT TO DEDICATE SOMETHING TO SAM?

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Sir you'd better send it to me or I'll put off putting your update up on my site even longer. >:

That's like me threatening to not staple your nuts to the ceiling. :/

:fartin

Esuohlim Nov 12th, 2006 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover
Esuohlim, do you have any pictures of yourself that you're willing to post? :eek

Not until I learn to grow a beard and stop looking 15 >:

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 07:59 PM

It's called puberty, and don't worry it will happen soon.

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim
Not until I learn to grow a beard and stop looking 15 >:

Growing a beard is hard. Not all of us have the hella testosterone of the Big WMM.

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 08:10 PM

Beards are easy. >:

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 08:15 PM

Beards are easy and so is your girlfriend! >:

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 08:16 PM

Nuh-uh. :(

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 08:18 PM

Yeah, beards are hard & so is your girlfriend. ;)

Pub Lover Nov 12th, 2006 08:20 PM

Seriously, my sack is carrying raisins. :todd

Esuohlim Nov 12th, 2006 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam
It's called puberty, and don't worry it will happen soon.

This is a funny joke in theory, but I could beat you at a low-voice contest easy (without cheating!)

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 08:23 PM

You sound VERY sure about that. :rolleyes

xbxDaniel Nov 12th, 2006 08:43 PM

My profile's password is now julie. Have fun with it kids.

Emu Nov 12th, 2006 08:56 PM

what

Sam Nov 12th, 2006 09:12 PM

WHAT?

Emu Nov 12th, 2006 09:15 PM

I would try it but I don't want to log out.


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