dextire - Haha that's exactly what happened... glad somebody was able to follow it. The sewage dripping down onto the ice awoke the mighty lizard from his deep, icy slumber. Nice DVD haul btw!

AlliSabbah - You got a Mr. Bungle CD as part of your gift? Awesome. That's a seriously great album. If you like it, I highly recommend getting "California".

blood_panther - Glad they found your package blood_panther. As for shipping, I always use the standard postal service and get tracking on it... I've never liked Fed-Ex or UPS to be honest.

I got my gift today and GUESS WHAT DORKS

It's from Protoclown.


Everything was awesome, and I'll be sure to try out the game the next time my nerd friends and I get together. Thanks and Merry Christmas, Protoclown!

That's a good haul.

Got my Secret Santa package from BatmanJohnson today and I have to say, this is definitely going to be the one that all future SS gifts will have to compete against in the future.

It starts out with a large box showing up at my door:



Whatever was inside was so anxious to get out that it had already begun unsealing the tape holding the thing shut.




It was a veritable cornucopia of things. Party poppers, wind-up teeth, and some kind of giant stuff animal. I needed to get a closer look:




After unpacking everything, I discovered that the box was practically filled with candy, and good candy, too. There was so much that I admit, I thought it must be leftovers from Halloween, but so far, I haven't gotten sick. There was a tube of Whoppers that was open already, but I was planning on passing those along to someone else anyway.




Along with all the stuff was three letters. The first was a brief explanation of the package, followed by an apology, for some reason. Rest assured, BatmanJohnson, no one who gives me this much candy needs to apologize. There was also a letter with a giant "Q" on it, and another detailing a "curse" that I'll talk more about later.




Three-year-olds can play with these wind-up teeth no problem, but if you're two then you're just plain fucked. The same goes for the Admiral Ackbar figure, as you would probably just choke to death on his Kindle, or whatever that accessory is supposed to be.




A few comics made it into the mix as well. Rite seems to be about a gun-wielding mummy who encounters trouble at a veterinary clinic, and Alf is about Alf. I thought it was weird that Alf was drawn pretty much as he appeared normally, but everyone else is just a cartoonish rendition. That's the perks of top billing, I suppose.




The last comic was entirely in Japanese. It seems to be about a superhero monkey who uses a giant pole to beat up carnivorous animals in the jungle, which leads me to believe it may be the Japanese version of The Jungle Book. On the right is a map of a corn maze made up of a dozen map sections that you apparently needed to find within the maze. According to the rules, getting all the pieces entitled you to a dollar off a T-shirt, so I appreciate BatmanJohnson sacrificing a less expensive corn maze shirt to ensure I had a merry Christmas.




Any lingering questions I had about Star Trek can be answered with a few quick page flips. The loadout of a Class 1 Dreadnaught? The inner workings of a Universal Translator? The rules of 3D chess? You know I've got that info.




I was not aware that Shari Lewis had a show prior to Lambchop's Playalong. Granted, I hadn't really wondered about it in the first place, but now not only do I have the answer; I have evidence. The Songs of WWII CD should come in handy for whenever I get sick of a half dozen or so songs from that era that play in Fallout: New Vegas.




Best of all, I got a Hello Kitty band-aid, a tag from some Domo Kun merchandise, and the head from an action figure of Guinan, the bartender from Star Trek: The Next Generation.


Earlier, I mentioned that BatmanJohnson's note included an apology. I assume this was the reason:



In order to get to all the other stuff, I had to first unpack this creepy ventriloquist's dummy. I think it was supposed to be some kind of starter model because it's stuffed, and you open the mouth by pulling on a loop of rope behind the head. That makes the talking all the creepier, as you just wind up jerking the head back and forth when you try to make the thing talk. The curse letter I mentioned before suggested that the dummy may or may not be cursed. He also mentioned that his roommate helped him pack the gift box, so I will give him the benefit of a doubt and say that his roommate was the one who felt I needed to have this strange, potentially holiday-ruining thing in my house.


Still, tons of candy and other neat stuff to distract from the creepy doll. All in all, nice work BatmanJohnson!

I made a video. It's 11 minutes long. Sorry it took so long to post.
Rog was my santa.

:lol Excellent video, Chris!
If you suck that candy cane down to a point you could probably take down a grizzly bear with that thing.

It's amazing how much cool stuff everyone is giving this year! :xmas2

When someone is that forceful in their instructions, I have no choice but to play along.

Haha, nice work Chris.

I wish I had a Russian mail order bride. :(

Holy crap Dr. Boogie, that's a whole lot of awesome stuff, and what appears to be like 10 pounds of candy. I think you should burn that doll before it's too late though.

Awesome video Chris. "...This is about a day's worth of food..." Also, what a lovely festive greeting by mockery.

My wife has friends. But I'll let you know the process is LONG and EXPENSIVE. Oh god, it's expensive.

OH MY GOODNESS THE WAIT IS OVER AND IT IS FROM CANADA



Oh, Stevetothepast, your art is as charming as your prose. Wait, space dollars? Oh. My. God. This is the best christmas ever.




I GOT A BOOK




AND A VIDEO GAME!




AND ANOTHER VIDEO GAME BUT WITHOUT THE INSERT




AND A VIDEO GAME SYSTEM




AND A CONTROLLER FOR SAID SYSTEM :x




These Santas are really happy considering their predicament. I suppose St. Nick really is just that jolly.




bro, this is like the best present ever




Canadian money is made from chocolate and hate.

Yay! My gift came today and I didn't even have to call FedEx like 10k Volt Ghost said I did.
Thank you Blood Panther! I'll post pictures when my mom gets home from work.
She has my camera. This is awesome X1000, since today is my 16th birthday.
It's just like an extra gift! Now if only my S.S. would post pics...

By the way, Leader, that chocolate santa is terrifying.

oh man that is such a relief. yesterday fedex said they couldnt find you, and that the address was wrong, and worse of all were going to send it all the way back here to canada, in two days.thank goodness it managed to make it's way to you.

never again fedex. hope you liked the stuff!

I didnt realize we were allowed to send beer. Next year someone is getting a case. :lol

Tomorrow is a long day apparently.

Glad you liked everything and thanks for being a good sport about it! Watching your reactions to the gifts and the note was awesome. That was a loooooong video, but the ending was so worth it. I love that she actually tells you to stop sucking on the candy cane hahah.

WOW. You actually got a 3DO. I used to have one of those and Gex is an awesome game. Stevetothepast, I think you win the prize for most expensive gift this year.

Just make sure they're of age, and send some Santa's Butt beer because the labels on it are awesome.

technically, sending any type of alcohol through the mail (at least across borders) is illegal.



that said, I wont tell if you don't :yum

DREAMCAST IS A BETTER PRESENT THAN 3D0 >: PROBABLY :(

Well, I am relieved that the present arrived intact. I had visions of the beer exploding and ruining the 3d0.

Holy crap Steve, awesome gift giving. That's seriously amazing.

Can't go wrong with some Asimov! :D

Asimov beats 3DO and Gex combined.

:lol It could only make it better.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!