15 Things That Are Not The Reason I Have Been Away For So Long.
 

Automatically generated comment thread for 15 Things That Are Not The Reason I Have Been Away For So Long..

Welcome back Max!!! Sorry to hear about the unfortunate incident with those biorobotic lambs. :D

Glad to see you're back.

Oh how I've missed your writing! Thank god those cannibals found your taste to be disagreeable.

MAX!!! Did you finally finish cleaning Nick's "scrambled flounder" from the bottom of the omelet pan?

We missed you!

As for you absence... right nut caught in a mangle?

max you gotta stop stalking shatner so much, it's not healthy

Great to see you're back from the Mole People!

Oh Max, I knew that running away with the circus would never work out. It's good to have you back!

Good to see you back, Max. Sorry to hear about your left nut.

Pax Burbanka has begun again!

That's what you were doing, right? Reclaiming the lost provinces of the empire?

Welcome back Max! I see Queen Elizabeth finally got tired of making you pole dance in front of Parliament.

Just the other day, I was wondering what happened to Max Burbank, and now I find out! But how did you survive your encounter with the Mole People?

I heard Max was buried alive, but since he wasn't trained by Pai Mei, it took him two whole years to punch his way out of that damn coffin.

I logged in after a year or so of inactivity just to say I missed you and I rove you Mark Burbank

i heard that for at least three months of that he was just being passive-agressive at it

I had just assumed his neighbor shut off their wireless router and he had no more internet access.

Max!! Great to see you back!!

I'm also pleased to see that that Lobo cosplayer finally let you out of his Tijuana sex dungeon. When you disappeared in the middle of Comic Con, we feared the worst.

oh hai macks

Damn it Max! Who let you out of the basement? I knew I should have used a combination lock.

Max you are a delight and were sorely missed.

Yay! Max has returned from the galactic wars! No doubt with many tales of his interstellar adventures!

Holy crap, it's good to see you again, Max. Too bad you were never successful in tracking the elusive Vince.

Naughty! -for ignoring your fans... Don't feel bad about your "nut". I lost BOTH of mine after I got married.

Finally!

I was waiting for the day of your return, my Lord. I shall obey your every command.

See Max, last time I think I remember seeing you you were crying over cosplay cleevage.. I figured those scared you so bad you ran to a country that's never heard of cosplay.

Either way though it doesn't matter what the reasons are, its awesome to know your still alive let alone back with us.

NEVAR 4GET

I've been locked up in that kids basement for two damn years. She is harsh!

I have been reading this site since 2004. Never registered. Until now.

Because I had to tell you how much I missed you. So glad to see your funny, horrible words again, Max. It's been too long.

I really hope you mean a different "basement" than the one she's packing "down there". Anyways, I knew you couldn't resist coming back even with your sexual identity crisis revolving around your meth addiction. Glad to know you're at least doing well?

Heck I just thought you were gone for two years because you were putting together Barry Bonds' perjury trial defense and now that you had all your ducks in a row and it was actually going to trial you had some spare time to drop in for a bit.

I had just assumed that you fell victim to the great hooker uprising of '09. At least zombies never give you gonorrhea.

I think the reasons he's not telling us is that h doesn't remember where he's been these last few years. He just now woke up in Tijuana with a bad hangover and a new tattoo that vaguely resembles Madonna naked.

Good to know you're back from living it up in Hawaii after robbing us all blind!
Did you manage to get BRAND MAX BURBANK stapled to every streetlight, and cheap hooker standing under said light?

I heard you had become fabolusly wealthy after answering an email from the nigerian national lottery and finding out you had won!

After like four or five years of lurking, I registered an account just to say that I-mockery feels a little more whole again with Max back in the saddle. It's just a shame that they found our hideout in Pakistan...

Maybe now I'll stop being a dick and actually contribute to the community.

Maybe not.

The Messiah! He has returned!

MAX HAS DIED
MAX IS RISEN
MAX WILL COME AGAIN

Obviously he got captured again