Dear Santa
 

As much as I find the image of you unleashing wrath upon an unsuspecting public hilarious (strictly as a mental image), I humbly request that you spread your holiday goodwill by delivering an important message to other would-be murderers:

Please, if you are suicidal, simply eliminate yourself. If you want to eat a shotgun, kindly have the decency to do it BEFORE aiming said shotgun at innocent civilians and setting fire to their home(s).

This is my Christmas wish.

Oh, and a brand-new fully-loaded Chevy Malibu, if you can fit it in between homicides.


Love,
sspadowsky

P.S.- Seriously, eat that double-ought buckshot, but not before giving me that car. Prick.

Dear Santa,

Please fill others with so much depression that they go on a murdering rampage. The news is kinda boring today. Thanks for the socks!

Sincerely,
Tadao

I want a home made flame thrower, a pile of cash, and a plane ticket to canada. Also some neosporin for my third degree burns.

if it's home made then santa doesn''t need to bring it :/

It's gotta be from Santa's home.

Dear Santa
HAIL SATAN
AND FUCK YOU

Dear Santa,
Please get me into grad school as a matriculated student. If that isn't feasible, please get me a good job or an internship or something. If that isn't feasible, please at least send me a strapping young man who will let me ride him like a mechanical bull.
Love,
Jeanette X