I think I need to go pray.

Well, I welcomed in the new year and the start of my 24th year by frantically letting the cat in when the fireworks started going off, whilst wearing my pyjamas.

I am also completely sober.
Badass.

Man I've been drinking since the Samoans had the New Year.

:drunk

There's nothing to drink in this house besides gnarly wine

and people

worst new years everrr

Happy birthday Shrub

I drank the last of the whiskey in an attempt to kill whatever evil upper respiratory infection has been incubating and plotting to ruin my week. It was pretty good but now I have nothing.

Happy new years fuckers.

HAPPY NEW YEAR SHRUB, I MISS YOU.

baby's first speeding ticket

over a decade of driving too fast and not getting caught. finally over. dang.

I have the flu. Like the actual, report-to-the-health-department, this-is-what-the-government-warned-you-about, doctor-shoves-swabs-up-your-nose-and-shakes-his-head-sadly, influenza A.

It sucks. It sucks mightily. I think I can feel the individual nerve cells in my teeth writhing in agony.

I'm allergic to the preservative in flu shots and couldn't get one, so I guess I lost this particular round of russian roulette. If you're not allergic to eggs or thimerosal, get your fucking flu shot. Chances of becoming a walking phlegm-bucket go down to about 10%.

i havent gotten a flu shot in 10+ years :/

They're not for everyone, but if it helps you, do it.

We took sophia for pictures toward the end of the day. She wouldn't smile for the camera so instead of the camera guy making bird noises or other stupid sounds he just started yelling at her. He was also asian so it came out like

"hey.....HEY! Little girl. HEY! You look now!"

My gf was like "alright tadao thats not working."

I bet if I pulled out my tiny wiener she would laugh.

Can you wrap it in one of those blankets too?

Shit nigga he can tie it in a knot, he can tie it in a bow.

so i got this shirt for christmas to wear aspajamas and it says YOU GOT SERVED which is kinda totally random

but today my friend asked me to serve his divorce papers for him

maybe there isa god

I really wanted that Stay Puft Marshmallow Man pajama thing as a christmas/chanukah gift and didn't get it :(

I was sort of disappointed. Now I've got to find and buy it mydamnself.

Edit: This. I'mma ordering it.

Make sure to wear it backwards so that she can read it as you walk away.

hahahahaaha

totes backwards and you gotta throw your arms up and point to it with both thumbz. then give hher the finger. Owned.!!!


went to a reptile expo. bought another 8 juvenile tarantulas. this is one of them.

how many do you have in total?

8+

I listened to Bowie's "Low" for the first time, and as someone who never really got into Bowie I started to enjoy it more than I expected to. But then why does Brian Eno have to ruin it with his ambient bullshit in the album's second half >:

Just like Talking Heads' Remain in Light. Eno sucks :(

8 + 10 = 18

17 juveniles, 1 adult
plus a bunch of other spiders from around here
and currently ~60 baby wolf spiders