that'll do it

i bought a men's magazine and has a tutorial of how to have dreams with chicks in the magazines i'm gonna try that shit tonight

:lol

I dreamt that the tip of my penis fell off. I was not happy about this.

this is not a dream but my brother attacked me with a pillow last night :/ i hope for his sake he was sleeping or else

I dreamed that I had to give some big speech-type presentation on what I think was guacamole. It included a musical number. There was a steady stream of advisers coming to my old house, including BD Wong and a high school teacher of mine who died the year I graduated. I was laughing because I could not figure out why anyone wanted me to give a speech and sing a song about guacamole, or take it that seriously.

I really want to hear that song and speech. :xmas1

Dreamed I was in a car and suddenly Jeff Bridges and some woman drove past in a jeep filled with giant watermelons, some cut into the shape of a headless and armless torso. Whoever was driving the car yelled, FOLLOW JEFF BRIDGES, and we were off to what was like the world's biggest outdoor summertime festival or something.

The path leading to the festival was covered with green outdoor carpeting and ramped upward sharply, and as I got to the top I saw that it was one of those giant slides like you see at carnivals, and they were routing people down the two staircases on either side of it. There was also apparently a BMX competition going on, and the kids were tear-assing down the slide as a ramp. My daughter started to wander over to go down the slide and one of the kids on bikes about came down on top of her, causing me to make a grab for her and go tumbling down the slide myself.

Didn't see Jeff Bridges again, but there was some Amish kid in a tent selling all of the old furniture we had in our house growing up, right down to knicknacks I forgot even existed. My mom was in one of the tents looking at our old kitchen table from 30 years ago, saying she thought she remembered seeing it somewhere before.

Dreamed last night that I lived in a living Steampunk snake. I was sitting in the library sipping tea, pouring over books and eating scones.

Interesting how you make no mention of what this incredible snake was doing or what you did with it. Was that all you could remember about it? That would suck, having a steampunk animal would be way more fun than drinking tea and reading.

he was living inside of it and it had a library and scones inside of it :O

I think he is a she

He or she, you really have to love and trust someone before you let them give you a steampunk snake.

ill give her a spunk team snake

Something about being around a crowd of Harvard assholes and making the bad decision to find common ground by telling them I had also gone to an ivy-league school. But they didn't think my school was cool so it was just sort of pointless pretentiousness.

I dreamed about Phil Hartman the other day. I had dreamed that he had some how managed to avoid being murdered by his wife or that we had brought him back to life. Then we needed to figure out a way to come up with an excuse to explain away why he would fake his death or pretend to be dead for so long. Jon Lovitz was basically no help at all.

I have no idea why I would dream about any of that. It was weird.

Ive been heavily invested in hockey and the show The Following. Last night I dreamt that a cult of five or six people in all black with ski masks had someone pinned down on the ice and covered so that you couldnt see them. There were puck size holes cut into the cover and everytime a team on tv won, they would shoot a puck into the hole and kill the person they had pinned down.

I had this dream where I stopped these teens from mugging this old lady. Then I bear the shit out of the teens. While I had one of them in a headlock some more thug teens showed up to the fight. I kicked them in their asses while having the first one still in the headlock. Then I kicked that first teen in the ass too.

I thinm I'm just getting old now which is prompting the teen beatage.

GET OFF MY LAWN

I had a dream where someone showed Samuel J Jackson a documentary on bronyism and he took deep personal offense to it. He made it a personal crusade to break into the houses of bronies and scare them in an attempt to snap them out of it.

I've forgotten a lot of the dream but there was one part where he broke into a guy's apartment dressed as Jules from Pulp Fiction, slapped a guy wearing a Rainbow Dash hoodie and yelled YOU A GROWN-ASS MAN.

Something about trying to hang onto a spinning wooden wheel about 50 feet from the ground, parallel, just trying not to get flung off. Sucked.