WWE
 

So, I stopped watching it even as a joke a while ago, roughly around the time they revealed that Vince McMahon has an illegitimate midget son.

Since then, I tuned in once to see that midget paint a hole on a wall and run into it to escape Carlito Carribean Cool (who of course ran into it after him bugs-bunny style)

And then I tuned in again to see Vince and JBL in a cage match versus that midget while the midget's irish caretaker was handcuffed to the ropes and crying.

So, really, what the fuck? Who watches RAW to see that shit? (protip: it is nowhere near as funny as I make it sound)


I also caught last night's main event which was pretty good, all things considered. I hate Cena's character to death, but am glad to see MY BOY Randy get over. Orton and Cena 3Ding some jobbers was pretty excellent. Still just as tired of Triple H winning every altercation as I was five years ago.

SECOND QUESTION: Who do y'all think is gonna win main event at wrestlemania? Cena, Orton, or Triple H?

I'm hoping for Orton of course, but when was the last time a heel won in the main event at WM, you know :<

THE UNDERTAKER.

He will never lose.

The "telent" (and I use the term loosely) is not what it once was when the likes of The Rock, Kurt Angle, and Mick Foley were there. It was a golden age that was ruined when Hollywood snatched up the most entertaining talent to make sub par movies. It was OK when Hogan and Ventura did it, because they still showed up to wrestle/announce.

Other than Carlito and Jericho, I don't think there is anyone left that has tht "it" that The Rock had, and even Carlito and Jericho only have a little of "it".

I am not sure Orten won't win at Wrestlemania though. It might be that they are setting up for Jericho to beat Orton (provided he is still around, I don't even know, but last I had heard they had a bit of a feud going).

I'll still watch Wrestlemania even though the luster has long diminished for me, mostly because a group of us get together every year and watch it. EDIT: And of course, the circus that is Floyd Mayweather vs. The Big Show, I almost forgot about that

A little bit of caution tape on that picture and it's perfect.

Is Jake "The Snake" Roberts still doing crack?

I'll watch it every once in a while just to see if there is anyone as entertaining as the Rock.

I've always liked Jericho. I think he's got tons of showmanship. He needs to be a headliner.

I actually want to watch this Wrestlemania. the card looks pretty good. Except for one thing:


For the love of God, someone make Ric Flair retire. I get sick watching him try to amble across the ring, stiff as a board and unable to sell any of the hits. All he does is fall down, bleed, and somehow win.

"somehow" is right.

He's not being fair to Flair!

(I will be shocked if anyone gets that refrence :P )

I think the Nature Boy will "die" sometime. Like Umaga breaks his neck or something.

I don't think the 'a person dies' storyline will ever be used again after the "Vince dies in limo explosion" fiasco.

I thought it was funny.

So the question is, will we light this thread up with activity next Sunday?

There is really a character named Caribbean Carlito Cool? yeesh

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TOnmoR_v64U

"I got your. present"
"YOU'RE LEAVIN!"
"No I'm not leaving. and you got butterflies in your stomach. because you are gonna get married"
"I"M NERVOUS!!!"

I don't watch wrestling anymore so i'll contribute to this fine thread by posting some classic clips:

JAKE THE SNAKE WASTED:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9clRpVbYZw8&feature=related

BOOKER T CALLS HOGAN A NIGGA:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=a1o82BVKFp8&feature=related

Booker T shined his brightest when he was doing schtick with Goldust

Booker and Goldust at the 7-11:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L7fcpPR4bFA

I was there live at this one; Booker, Goldust, AND The Rock (I miss The Rock, wrestling hasn't been the same since he left):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZV3apzEPVYM

Then there was this....
http://youtube.com/watch?v=82kCacHLgxY

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OJ520jGU2Ss

BLACK MACHISMO

Wow, Kevin Nash does not look like he aged very well.

"My god king, that goldust is cookier than a pet COON. What's wrong with him?"

Now I remember why I stopped watching wrestling in the 90's.

To be fair, I think he was using the word "coon" as a short for racoon, not as a racial slur.

Oh, I know. I just find the attempted domestication of wild animals appauling.

Nicely played :lol

:rolleyes

Hey, it comes with the ladder he used when he hung himself. :rolleyes

It's way too soon for Chris Benoit jokes. You need to edit your posts, please.

It would have been more realistic if he came with Bibles, a pillow, and a weight machine. :rolleyes

yeah is deluxe the name of the steroid he used? :rolleyes

Oh, so does that mean it's Eddie Guerrero Season? :rolleyes

BAM BAM BIGELOW SEASON

GUERRERO SEASON >:

BAM BAM BIGELOW SEASON >:

GUERRERO SEASON >:

All of you stop it now. I can't handle this onslaught of dead wrestler jokes! Have you no class?

GUERRO SEASON

BAM BAM BIGELOW SEASON FIRE >: >: >:

god dammit!

You know who else has no class? Chris Benoit's dead son, because they don't have school in Heaven! :tear

He's dancin' with Jesus now.

I can't take this. I'm banning myself.

That's a heck of a robe, I mean, you gotta be fair to Flair!

YES! THANK YOU RODDY PIPER! THAT'S NOT A SKIRT, IT'S A KILT!

...

YOU DIRTY...! THAT'S A SKIRT, IT'S NOT A KILT!

Yeah, I pretty much win at any reference to Bobby Heenan.

Best. Royal Rumble. Ever.

Indeed it was. Although, I'm still partial to the original Rumble. I still mark out for Demolition Vs. Demolition.

Maybe it was because I got to hear their awesome theme music twice?

http://www.wwe.com/shows/wrestlemania/

The picture of the undertaker they have in this flash animation looks like a stunt double. A stunt double in his late 80s :<

Also, i don't think the big show is really THAT big, come on vince ;<

Undertaker has sucked ass ever since Paul Bearer left/died of a pork injection overdose.

PAUL BEARER IS SKINNY AND ACTUALLY WORKS IN A FUNERAL HOME. JUST A FYI. >:

PERCY PRINGLE HAD A GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY, BY GOD!

:lol
I had no idea he was in the Air Force. The ribbon on the far right looks like the Honor Grad ribbon, which means he was a suck up little bitch during basic training.

I watched this cartoon when i was a kid

http://youtube.com/watch?v=vRx01Q45LGg

ooohhhahahahahahahahahahahahaha wow

So who all is actually going to watch Wrestlemania? I will likely do it. My friends and I used to watch every PPV back in the day. Then it was just the major ones like Royal Rumble, King of the Ring, Survivor Series, and Wrestlemania. Now it is just Wrestlemania. We will still dust off the N64 though and play No Mercy all day Sunday leading up to the event though.

We usually watch the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania, though we skipped out on the rumble this year. Good thing, too, since Cena entered at #30 and won it.

I'm still debating whether I'd rather watch wrestlemania or stay with my GURPS game for the last half of the session. I'm leaning toward wrestlemania.

I haven't watched wrestling in months but I know I want Ric Flair to retire and Randy Orton to retain. Also I don't want Edge to be the champ because I just hate him but new Undertaker isn't much better. :(

well that depends, are you running GURPS: Wrestlemania

Wrestlemania is on RIGHT NOW

and I am NOT watching it

because if I wait a few hours I can watch it for free on the internet's dime :picklehat

I watched it. I will just give opinions as I don't want to spoiler it up for anyone.

JBL vs. Finley had the funniest moment of the night I thought.

Money in the bank match was very boring to me.

Kain vs. Chavo.... well, you'll see if you haven't yet. And if you have, you know what I am thinking I bet.

Big Show vs. Floyd Maywether. This was so poorly done and was dumb all around. A total disappointment. Hopefully though, Jim Rome saw it and says something that makes me laugh about it.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels. I did not know this match was on the card, and it was by far the best match of the night. I was especially impressed with the choreography of both the wrestling moves and the emotion they conveyed through the match.

HHH vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Loser? The fans.

Undertaker vs. Edge. I hate Edge with a passion because of what went on between him and Matt Hardy behind the scenes, but I have to give credit where it is due. He is good at selling wrestling moves.

Edge would still suck even if he didn't do Matt Hardy's girlfriend.

JBL Vs Finlay - Waste of my time.

MITB - good, solid spotfest.

Kane Vs Chavo - Made me mark out.

Flair Vs Michaels - Match of the night. Enough said.

Triple Threat - Didn't care enough to watch.

Mayweather Vs Big Show - Done a lot better than I thought it would be.

Undertaker Vs Edge - The ending made me happy.

There needs to be more jokes about Jim Ross in this thread.

DEAR GOD HE HAS A FAMILY!!!!!

How's that for starters?

I would agree except that seeing Hornswoggle get randomly pelted with a garbage can for no reasn whatsoever other than he was a target of opportunity made me laugh for about 15 minutes.

MUH GAWD

Ahahaha. Yeah, that was pretty good. And he oversold it like no one's business. He almost did a backflip.

It's been long enough that I'm not going to SPOILER TAG this.

JBL Vs Finlay - I don't remember this match :<

MITB - great match, shitty result. what the fuck is punk going to do with a title match? there are only like 5 guys on the ecw roster to begin with, and I can't imagine he wasn't already the #1 contender.

Kane Vs Chavo - poor, poor chavo ;<

Flair Vs Michaels - the best flair match I've ever seen, I didn't know he could actually wrestle!

Triple Threat - I couldn't believe my boy retained, although the match itself was kinda gay.

Mayweather Vs Big Show - Why is it that every time a celebrity fights a wrestler on their own turf, the wrestler loses? What does that say about wrestlers?

Undertaker Vs Edge - It actually looked like Edge was going to take it at one point :<

I have finally gotten to the point where my head is not exploding over the debacle from Raw Monday night.

On the plus side, it reenforced my decision to write in my vote this election and not vote for any of those three clowns.

I was gonna put up links, but even youtube-ing it would probably cause a relapse of your-head-asplode-itis.

I liked how Obama threatened Randy Orton's title reign. I think Randy should feud with him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrBrf...eature=related

So Orton has new music, and it doesn't fit him at all.

Unless his new angle is being Perry Saturn.

I love the shitty quality youtube video. Seriously though, the music is actually pretty good, even though I don't give a shit about Orton.

I preferred his old entrance music. That said, I STILL can't stand Randy Orton. If fans just gave him the X-Pac treatment he would go away forever, but WWE mistakes the hate driven booing for "heel charisma" so he sticks around.

Bringing this thread back from the dead with some Klazzik Klipz:

Rick Martel - Arrogance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKh0zaXf6js

Bertha Faye Theme:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkrMmaKvSeI

Also this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebN17...eature=related

:lol

I'm not sure I got the message right. "Don't Smoke!" came off more like "Hey kids, Chew is safer! Watch me eat a whole carton of cigarettes in 20 seconds!"

That brought back some memories. Now for one of my all time favorites

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCljiGVZ5fE

"Jannetty tried to dive through the window to escape! Did yoiu see that? What cowardace!" Epic Heenan line

dear...god...wtf:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGUJY...eature=related

well, i guess its better than some rape storyline :x

one exist(s)/(ed) right?

It was the rape of a corpse. :(

Wow...pure badness. How did that fit that one in, were they in Detroit?


Robocop would beat anyone in the squared circle....if they're still there 10 minutes later when finally he gets there.

Robocop has a gun that he keeps inside his thigh, so he wins by default.

I saw the bloopers reel after watching that Robocop one and I couldn't stop laughing when I saw Booker T call Hulk Hogan a nigga.

"HULK HOGAN I'M COMING FOR YOU NIGGA!!"

Remember the movie No Holds Barred? Remember how they spun it off into an "actual" WWF feud? Remember how it made Randy Savage and Sensational Sherri lose their minds?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3Xvnx2Huiw

I wish Robocop was in wrestling now. :(

I wish Robocop would befriend Sting again. TNA might make sense then.

I wish they would bring IRS back. Money, Inc. was the greatest tag team ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcsNwwK9vfg

The tax cheat accusations are hilarious:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP2mv...eature=related

I hear tell WWE signed his son to a developmental contract.

Hopefully he continues the gimmick. I remember one time Chief Strongbow was giving Tatanka his ceremonial headdress and IRS came out demanding a "gift tax" and proceeded to stomp the shit out of the headdress. Shit is hilarious.

They could make his gimmick more topical. Maybe "Mort Gage" or "Will Foreclose"

I like it. He would just go around ridiculing people for their house foreclosure and blame them for the struggling economy. Now is the perfect time for the WWE to go with something like that.

They need to bring back Duke "The Dumpster" Droese to combat global warming then. Possibly with Rhino coming back as Al-Agorey. The 2nd part needs work.

What happens when you combine the Ultimate Warrior, Phill Collins, and Gilbert Gotfried?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs0pyWCNEIY

Wow, Warriors a nutjob. Phil Collins is a whiner. Gottfried...a Legend

You magnificent bastard. :lol

HOLY CRAP!

"I'M GOING TO FUCK YOUR ASS" is not something I would expect the Iron Sheik to say. :(

"i'm going to do you a favor! Go fuck yourself!"

"I'm broke!"

Hahaha, hilarious.

Fromer WWE manager and now TNA man Jim Cornette goes completely apeshit at a DQ drive thru.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id4rZhN_LEg

It cuts it off. Richard Christy was another wrestler they called Killer Bee on video conference. It was amazing.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts at his finest, ie completely wasted and rambling like a fucking idiot.

DDT DDT DDT DDT DDT

Part 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9clRpVbYZw8

Part 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awd1uVpkjB0

Just watched this again and it's hilarious. Part 2 features poor Jake staggering down to the ring, clearly wasted and out of his gourd.

I remember a couple of years ago they brought Jake Roberts to TNA for a short bit and he seemed just as fucking wasted as ever.

http://www.myspace.com/Koko


The official Koko B. Ware site

Even if it's fake the blogs are out of control hilarious.

The writing style and content of the blogs reminds me of ol' Jim Anchower:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37326

I hear tell the Honkey Tonk Man may wrestle in the next PPV which may make me break my "I only watch Wrestlemania" habit :P

Why in the hell would they trot out a fat-old dinosaur like Honky Tonk, when there's a perfectly fit old dinosaur named The Ultimate Warrior out there?