Re: Paying for stuff.
 

This is an argument the boyfriend and I had earlier today.

We each do our fair share of paying for stuff, it's never a one-sided thing. However, he was paying for lunch today (hot dog stand). I'm pretty frugal, so I got the kid's meal- cheapest way to get hot dog, small fries and a drink, and really I don't need more food than that.

But he was offended and said that it's insulting to get the cheapest thing when a guy's paying. He said that the other end of the spectrum is inappropriate too, when you're taking someone out and they order the most expensive thing in the menu. He seemed to feel that both behaviors were equally offensive.

Whatever, I guess I'll order from the adult menu in the future, I thought I was doing him a favor.

Is this a common notion?

I'd be offended if someone who is buying lunch for me is offended by what I order.

I would never be offended if my date ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. I'd be damned grateful! :)

Tell him not to act like such a pussy over that shit.

I think there is something to be said for this, that there's an ideal spectrum of how much a date should follow from the menu. But this would ONLY be for like the first three dates. The last few dates I've been on, though, the girl was so passive that I actually went pre-sexual revolution old school and actually ordered what I thought she'd like on her behalf.

did you tell her to hit herself afterwards?

I could see someone being offended if they perceive you choosing the cheapest item as a reflection of your view of their financial situation. As in you're choosing something cheap because you think they're poor or tight with money. Otherwise I can't see much wrong with it.

Tell him the next time he pays for your meal, you'll do your best to impress him.

idk i kinda see what he's saying

On one hand you don't want somebody thinkin that they have to get the cheapest thing on the menu because they don't wanna spend yer money (or think you don't have much money.).

buuuttt

you don't want some broad bein all, "I WANT THE SHRIMPS" either cause it's all like god damn I offered to pay for yer food so how are you gonna go off and pick the most expensive thing you dumb slut? fccckkkkkkkkkk mee. I h8 your ass so mch right now.

Idk, guys are dumb. That is where he's coming from, so if you can somehow translate that into making some sort of sense...

to make it up to him offer to take him to a fancy restaurant and then dine and ditch

It depends. I ask if they're sure they don't want anything else, because I don't mind, and if they don't no skin off my nose.
Tell your boyfriend to get over himself.

I'm still reeling from years ago when my ex and I were having a "meeting of the parents" dinner at the local Japanese hibachi restaurant. His mom and my parents were there, and we were (ok, I was, but that's a story for another time) paying.

Now, we were pretty young, and I thought that it was a given that everyone should go fairly conservative. Not "no thanks, I'll just have water" conservative, but the cheapest entree was $18, you know? I stupidly believed in common sense.

Well, what we hadn't prepared for was that his mother was going to go a little nuts with the menu. I don't know if she honestly figured she'd go all-out, or if she was using the excuse of someone paying to order everything she'd ever wanted, or if she was trying to impress with eating off big sushi boats, or what. She ordered all kinds of sushi, drinks, and then a big dinner platter with seafood. We were horrified. I was trying to mentally add up all of this and whether what I had in my bank account would cover it. My parents ended up slipping me some cash under the table.

Yeah, that was a relationship that didn't last.

Your relationship didn't last due to his mother's ordering too much during a dinner?

Not exactly Hamlet-material you've got there.

The relationship was doomed from the start and crashed more spectacularly than the Hindenburg. No, it wasn't solely due to the mother's shenanigans, but they certainly helped.

Communication breakdown. I hate people.

This is how my relationship goes:

"I'm hungry."
"Me too."
"I'm gonna find something to eat around the house."
"No. I wanna go out."
"Do you wanna pay?"
"Yes."
"Then let's go out."

Communication magic.

Did you guys ever consider that not having a significant other won't lead to these kinds of problems?

It's worked wonders for me!

And your life will never become anything more because of it!

I dunno, I don't think I'd need to have that SPECIAL SOMEONE to make my life feel worthwhile.

Odds are it'll only end up a pain in the ass, just like every other time it has happened in history

Why are you so jaded? What hurt you?

Well, my parents being constant unhappy jerks has sort of put me into the mentality that my life is over once I turn thirty and or get married, that might be it.

By ordering off the kid's menu you made him look like a pedophile.

I know I wouldnt really be offended if my girl got something cheap from the menu, i actually encourage her to get something more pricey but its really whatever she wants. She feels the same way. Maybe he doesnt want to seem like hes a cheap-ass by letting you order from the cheaper items. I'd suggest reassuring him that you wouldn't think less of him by doing so.

Schimid has the right idea. GW will never feel the touch of a conscious woman/man/child.

Naw, but serious GW I know how you feel about the 'rents thing :(