Old skool
 

I am happy to say that I never even held my virgin wife's hands before we got married.

I'm happy to say nothing about it.

why what was wrong with her hands

Ancient Echo, I know your wife, & she was no virgin. ;)

I'll bet she had "man hands"

You're a hero, sir.

Play Skool

I wonder if Mario is still a virgin....:confused:

If you're talking about A.C. Slater then you are way off base pal

How did you say your vows, or put the ring on her finger if you didn't hold her hand?

The first time I held my wife's hands was after chopping them off.

How's it feel to be THE LAMEST PERSON ALIVE?