Wasn't there an upload form here for hosting event pictures?

If not, then http://www.imageshack.us works too!

im new, have only been on here a month and its the first forum i have ever written on. so i am a little new to it all. thanks for the help.

from what I saw, your problem was you posted HTML, you gotta post in BBcode.

Part 4: SMOKES
Part 5: Christmas with Rosie

Microshock: Your story was pretty good, I cn tell you put some thought in it, however what was with all the cock refrences? I felt like I was in a navy ship with all the refrences to penis. Anyway you did a good job and you are showing the newbies can actually do stuff.

Well I can't wait till the story from my stuff is good, the person who is recieving it seems like a person who would make good stuff.

I have not got my package yet but thats understandable, it cost quite a bit for me even when I chose the second fastest mail to america so thanks in advance to whoever sent me stuff. I will make you proud!

ok guys here is my story, i am warning you tho, there are about 30 pics. i also want to reiterate the fact that i really love these gifts from radomskyfears and i have been wearing the glowing bracelet everyday! my inner raver rejoices!



ok so i got my awesome secret santa gift in the mail....


and after several hours of trying to get through all these layers of tape


i was rewarded with a box full of fine gifts


along with this letter



dude, score! everything i need for a party and seven course dinner!


but wait, there is still something missing....


thats right ladies and felllas, no party is complete without some cheap 1990 Chardonnay and my pirate style mickey mouse ears. now we can have a fucking party.


(glug glug glug)


nothing like some vino to get the par-tay started!


ok, now to get dressed up. ill just put on my magic glowing bracelet of fun. isnt it beautiful the way it shimmers off the glass? i know, mesmerizing, right?


now i cant forget my safety glasses cuz sometimes parties, esp mine, can get a little out of hand, and its always a good idea to pratice safety first.


im just gonna put my wine over her in its Corset Cozy for safe keeping while i move forward in setting up for the party of the century.


thats some sexy wine!
(glug glug glug)


now on to the decorations!



i have never blown up a balloon before by putting a pump in it and pumping rapidly, but i have to admit. once i got used to it i really quite enjoyed it. hehe

look at these skills




now to lay out the elaborate meal i have arduously prepared for my guests..... i got some soda, some french fries, philli cheese steak, pizza, hamburger and for desert some home made vanilla ice cream! (yeah not only am i skilled at pumping balloons i am a kickass cook


phew that was some hard work


now i wonder when my guests will arrive.....


(waiting)


wait, whats that i hear?!?


(knock knock)


me: oh hello Bird and Alien, have you arrived for my party?

Alien: yeah and we are fucking starving. we drove 43 hours without stopping, so can we cut the crap and get down to grubbing?

me: first things first, where is my present? its mandatory to bring presents to parties. its like the magic password to enter.

Bird: oh well we assumed just showing up would be enough since we drove 43 hours.


me: yeah , well here is what i think about that crazy nonsense!




fuck you both for your damn assumptions! dont you know when you ASSUME you make and ASS out of U and ME?


(slams door)


damn you Randomskyfears, damn you for just reminding me how little my so called friends actually love me.

Alright, again, here's the pile-o-fun I got from Microshack...






Mystie: Hey Rainbow, guess what today is? It's your BIRTHDAY! I put on your new birthday bib and your birthday tiara! Aren't you HAPPY?
Rainbow: Alright! Can we go to the San Diego Zoo? Or visit my friend Brian on Earth?
Mystie: Nope! We're having your birthday bash right here!



Mystie: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Rainbow: Yay! It's like a Rainbow Bukkake all over my body!
Mystie: Good thing you're wearing that bib!



Mystie: Look! I made you all your favorite foods! There's umm... brocolli spears, cranberry sauce, a marshmallow Peep...
Rainbow: What's that blue thing?
Mystie: Umm...... .....
Rainbow: It's a fucking penis, isn't it?
Mystie: MOVING ON TO PRESENTS!!



Mystie: Look at all the great stuff you got! There's a makeover kit, some sort of leftover Halloween decoration, and umm.... some dog bones. Yeah... uh... you can feed those to the Sprites, right?
Rainbow: Let's forget the bones. Put on the Halloween thing. It will amuse me.



Mystie: Hey, it's some sort of neck bolt Frankenstein kinda thing. Neat!
Rainbow: Where's Twink? He's gotta come see this!
Mystie: Yeah... about that... see... Twink got into some bad star sprinkles and OD'd. Apparently someone was smuggling them in Rainbowland from their anal cavaties because we found pubic hairs on the bags.



Rainbow: Really? You don't say.
Mystie: And here's the kicker. All the pubic hairs were striped. Every. Color. Of. The. Rainbow.
Rainbow: I, er.... um.... heh... so.... what's with the gloves? *gulp*



Mystie: Shhh.... I'm coming for YOU, next!

Snoogans, I received your gift today! Thanks for the box of random goodies! But holy shit man, it cost you $30 to send it!? Honestly, I feel bad that it cost you so much!

i never forced you to start beating them mercilessly. that puppy puncher was meant to be used for good, not evil. and what happened to the stink bag?

good story though, and wish i would have gotten the stabbing unicorn. however, theres still some hope of that since i've not gotten mine yet, so you never know

YAY! That's cool, I kinda figured it was gonna cost a bit to post it when I signed up so yeah, it's all good.

I really didn't have any idea on what to get though, so hopefully you can come up with a neat story with the things I did find.

Oh I bought the box too, so that's part of the present hehe.

I liked the duck! And the jesus mirror was broken! How do I suck? And I dont even know what in the hell that unicorn thing was but I liked that too. :( But seriously the mirror has a huge crack on the back and on the mirror I just put a white light on the mirror to make it look fine.

Im srsly not going to do this next year.

Edit- 666th post :chatter

Way to ruin christmas for everybody, zelda.

Those stories are excellent guys, I laughed a lot. I hope when I receive my gift (still waiting you cheap and or late jerk) I'll be up to par.

lol mystie...that was funny......hee heee..

Can we get a list on who has their gifts and hasn't posted pics plz. >:

hey rog i have a suggestion....when everybody gets their pics up or whoever does...

make like an article with all of our stories....it'd be cool

yeah sorry about the stink bag. you just gave me so much cool stuff i forgot to include that.i realized when i was putting everything you gave me away.sorry about that. hop eyou are not angry :(

seriously guys, i ended up drinking all that wine and more while taking these pics and making the story. it def wasnt easy to stay focused.

and i think we have giving Zelda enough shit now, i am sure he feels the pain for what he has done.

I think your still drunk if your serious about that.

Gift has been received from the extremely generous Mystie. Sorry you had to ship to Canada :(. Merry Christmas!

It's okay, it was luckily .5 ounces light enough that I could just send it letter post. And boxes aren't that expensive.

nevermind. commence ripping Zelda a fucking new one.

Damn Snoogans, $30 just to SHIP it!? You sir are dedicated. Hope whoever sent you a gift for this Secret Santa event gave you something really good.

Poppers620 / Mystie - nice job with the pics 'n stories. So what's this "stink bag" that wasn't photographed? o.O

Microshock, heheh nah, that's not really the kind of thing I'd do an article on I-Mockery about.

Hopefully next year my camera will be fixed so I can do this. It looks like alot of fun and I'm good at finding fun gifts at dollar/cheap stores that aren't gay.

Someone should get there gift from me in the next few day's I hope...very cool of Snoogans to spend so much money.

I got it Fart, I'm just waiting for my sister to take the pics. Thanks for the gifts!

it was a package with 3 stinkbags that when you open them they smell. honestly i had so much stuff i was taking pics of i got sidetracked. i apologize. and once i realized i hadnt included it i already had all my 32 pics in order and i couldnt see how to fit it in, i just wanted to post. i know i am awful, and i am sorry.

Randomskyfears- i am sooooooo taking those stinkbags to my grandmas on xmas and letting the little kids play with them. its all abuot spreading the xmas love.

naked pics of your sister isn't necessary, but I'm glad you got it.

Alright, the film is at the developers. I hope my story is at least entertaining to microshock with his juvieniality.

They're not naked pics of my sister, they're naked pics of me. :wank

My mail deliverer person, who hates me because I only empty my box about once every month or two, snuck a slip in really late on Saturday. I'm not sure why he didn't just leave it on the porch, unless it's just because he hates me. I'll run to the post office first thing tomorrow morning with my fingers crossed.

A slight similarity :/

I was just wondering... wouldn't it be easier to have a seperate thread where it was only the picture stories?

don't worry about the bag poppers, i just wanted to know how they worked out. i thought the instructions on the back were funny cause they specifically tell you not to hold it in your hand and to step away from it after you did it. made it seem like a bomb.

and you gotta let me know how that turns out at your grandmas with em. thats probably a better use even than the story. and everyone i showed your story to laughed, mostly at your pain of being alone and friendless. they also all want those glow bracelets

I love Brian Posehn, so I'll take that as a compliment. :)

I thought it was strange Jixby didn't mention it...do your best with what little I sent :( I'm not a dollar store kinda guy

no rog i think you misinterpreted me...

not write about our stories

just make a page where all our stories will be instead of searching thru the thread looking for stories...

Wading through threads builds character, slacker.

MY SECRET SANTA STORY. (aka: uneventful)


HA HA HA. I GOT A Wii FROM COMRADE ROCKET. OH BUT NOT REALLY, IT'S THE BOX FOR A Wii. HE SURE FOOLED ME THERE! :rolleyes


HOORAY. I GOT $2.00 WORTH OF GIFTS: EXPIRED HELLO KITTY GUMMY SNACK TREATS AND FLOAM FROM THE DOLLAR STORE.


THEY DROWNED IN THE FLOAM. THE END.

Sorry, but this gift sucked ass and there's not much of a story to tell here other than "somebody didn't spend the $10.00 minimum that they were required to spend, unless, for some reason, they counted the S&H charges" :/ Ho, ho, ho. Oh well, at least my Secret Santa recipient is getting good stuff.

Are you serious, you only received 2 items?

Sounds like a blaaaaaaaaaaaaast.

uneventful yet Hillarious, Who sent It?

Edit: I would Have eaten the gummy snacks anyway lol

ho ho ho

I'm very sorry that I'm laughing this much at your misfortune, Rog.

I thought the minimum was 20 bucks. Well it looks like Ive fucked myself again! Funny story though hahahahahaha.

I hope the gift I bought doesn't suck :<

Rog, just so you know i was laughing at your story not you.

i was gonna ship my gift in a wii box also....but i didnt wanna waste the box....

you made a hell of a story from those 2 things....hee heee heeeee

If I was getting Rog, I would sure as hell send lots of crazy goodies to top his last year's story.

rog, he spent 300 dollars on ebay for the wii box, so show a little respect

sheesh

You'd think if you got Rog you'd put a lot more effort into your gift buying. Either this guy is a total hard ass who doesn't give any damns about anything, or he's just completely oblivious.

Do we still have the AIDS infection squad around?

I suppose I can sympathise because if I got ROG I don't think there'd be anything I could buy that he didn't already have. :(

At least he didn't buy him his own merchandise like I would have :o

-RoG- IF I HAD U I WUD SEND U LOTZ OF KEWL STUF SO SORI YOU GOT SOME LOZER LOL

GUYS WHAT DO YOU THINK -RoG- WILL DO ABOUT THIS?

He'll post pictures in a prompt and professional manner, even if he has to go ALL the way to CVS to buy a disposable camera and scan them at kinkos. Because that's just the rules. Good ol' Rog. What a guy. :)

oh dont worry, i will come back to this thread and post pics of the kids with the stinkbags. it will be part 2 of my story. iam glad i made people laugh. i really tried with that story.

Heh, glad you guys enjoyed what little pics I was able to provide from that shit. I just wanna hear his explanation as to how exactly those two items equate to 10 bux and what it is exactly about expired Hello Kitty gummy treats that just screams "THIS IS A MUST BUY XMAS GIFT!" more than any other item he saw in the dollar store.

poor Rog, its just weird someone put that kind of effort into your gift. you would really think they would have tried harder.....

Seth had it worse, if you ask me.

I appear to be having DIFFICULTY finding at least one other person who is not TOO PREOCCUPIED TO TAKE PICTURES WITH ME FUCK GODDAMNIT SHIT

so for TODAY I will present BUT A PORTION of Willie "Willie" Mobbs' gifts to me "chojin" me.


EMOTICONS.



IN COOKIE FORM.








The white bits are mint and these are fucking delicious and would have been a great present all on their own. BUT THERE IS MORE! More that I will reveal LATERS.

By the way my cell phone camera sucks a dick and it's hard to tell but these cookies are also the approximate colors of their corresponding emoticons. Very sheik.

oh wow those are cool.

Willie packed them nicely too, if I'd been sending those they would've arrived smashed up for sure haha.

I would also like to add that the first cookies I saw were the :x ones and I was too afraid to eat them :<

i would be scared to eat any cookies i got from a stranger in the mail. you are brave.

Willie may be strange, but he's no stranger. Cookiecons :o

Haha emoticon cookies. Willie fucking rules. :eek

Part One.

Well done with the rhyme man!

I love what's on the box -- he wants your raw hide!

hahahah pure. west.

willie! what a gr8 present!

srsly!

:(

damn i want some willy cookies

zelda is a weenie

as for Rog's suck present-
I asked him why he didn't pick someone for himself that was a sure-bet good present and he said he picked everyone else random so he wanted to be fair.

What's the lesson here kids?
You should ALWAYS abuse power.

Nice stories so far guys! I haven't seen the Jixby videos yet though because my work computer doesn't have speakers. poo

Part C

Fucking A man! :lol

Great job :)

Last Part

Hahaha jesus, that was a lot of pics Preechr. Nice work on the clay sculptures! That had to take quite a bit o' time to put together. Rock on.
:rock

Holy shit, I can't even begin to imagine how much work you put into that, Preechr. Well done!!

Wow someone had their awesome for breakfast.

Haha... Thanks everybody

I wasn't THAT difficult! Grislygus actually picked the perfect gift, given the theme of the event. CLAY! I was worried I'd have a hard time coming up with a story...

I had a lot of fun this afternoon. I think everybody needs to go get some clay and mush it into something. It's great fun!

Preechr wins.

Preechr you are my hero, that was awesome.

Thanks, guys!

i don't think anyone's gonna be able to top that preechr. seriously awesome, but then claymation is always awesome

so there's no reason for me to post a story anymore, right guys?

Wow Preechr, awsome claymation skills and I thought *I* was good. My ego is seriously deflated :(

Well I'm pretty sure my package has arrived so I will pick that up tommorow and then get cracking on the story.

noob you'd better post one >:

that was awesome preechr, but why did the green guy not have a box on his gun, or why the brown one had an M60 with under slung shotgun then it changed to an FN MINIMI?

still fuckin finny

:-o! I think its been proven by the "noobs" so far that we are quite able to post stories, send gifts and overall get our shit together than most of the older residents.

Wrong. This isn't a competition. Post them pics, dingleberry.

what exactly is older to you.. Being that noob and I are two of the youngest people that have been on this board as long as we have. Hell I remember everyone being like 30.. damn..

:)

Thanks! The green guy had a canister drum, but it might have fallen off at some point in all the shooting. He wasn't the easiest guy to pose, either. I changed the guns around on both of them for different shots, and despite the continuity issue, I let that switch go. Walmart sells both modern and vintage weapons in packs of four. You should go get them. They're cool as hell.

ok my person should be getting the package today unless they already got it and have been too lazy to post pictures! >:

I got mine today :) I don't know who it is but they did a great job. I will work on mine this week :rock

I got package No. Two from Zelda yesterday. Do I have to post a sequel?

So what was in package number 2, Seth?

I won't lie and say I wouldn't like to see another story from you just because your first one was great, but if you don't want to, you don't have to. But yeah, if you can at least post one pic of all the stuff he sent you so we all know what he did to make up for it, that'd be good.

I would absolutely love to see another Sethomas story.

Here's my poor attempt at humor.



Wow! A package all the way from the land of Canada! My dog is sniffing it for drugs. Sadly, there weren't any.


Oh boy! A Toronto hat, an iron on Canada patch, a Black Rain DVD, a photoshopped picture, and a letter from FartinMowler!


"Merry Christmas Spengler, I picked boring stuff and I'm sorry but I don't know you know you that well and didn't want to be too weird. Enclosed is my favorite movie Black Rain and if you would like to do me a favor and do a reenactment of the scene where Charlie gets killed. You can use a bicycle and a stick or use some imagination with some friends, do you have friends? :/ Anyway Merry christmas and I hope you enjoy I-Mocker like I have for years."

Aw! That's so sweet! But I don't have a bike or friends. Thanks for reminding me. Jerk. I guess I'll have to use something lame like action figures.



OK! Moving on...


I wear my hat like this cuz it makes me look like a gangsta.


Hey! Let's iron on this neat patch!


I AM IRON MAN!


Now I look like a true Canadian, eh? I say eh because that's what Canadians say, eh?

screech unleashed!!