Editorials - The Geek Hierarchy
 

Automatically generated comment thread for Editorials - The Geek Hierarchy.

...the hooting, staccato laughter that sounds like a baboon being anally violated with a boulder- oh God, how I know and hate that sound.

Great article. I agree with your order. As the article makes clear, the respective positions change with social trends. But it will be a cold day in Hell before I allow furries and fanfickers to become cool. Those guys are just sick, man.

what about message board nerds, pretty low on the scale right

and is the music nerd a picture of deadendz :lol

My friends and I stopped hanging out with a guy because he fell in with the furry crowd. I hesitate to call them a geek though, it is insulting to geeks. I actually rank them about equal with the trenchcoat guy who goes to those run down porno theaters. From everything I have heard from this guy I used to hang out with it is just an excuse for geeks to get laid. And yes, he combines it with LAARPing (which I also don't really get).

I do however fall into more than one of the other categories on the list. :P

I count myself as a member of 3/16 of those groups (Comic Books, Sci-Fi, Tabletop RPGs) and all I can say is you got us dead to rights.

As for the other groups, I at least know some people who could be considered members of all of them, and that seems pretty accurate too.

And I know one man, let us call him Bob, who is a member of every single group on that list. If he is coming, flee for your life. You'll know he is on his way because of the way the smell makes your earwax melt.

I'm surprised, yet pleased, that you dug deep into the depths to find something to shove under furry.

Thankfully most furries also have another sort of geekdom, and those individuals can find some happiness and fulfillment in life, however rarely.

my girlfriend is a somewhat fanfic writer, her stories are amazing and well written, look up mikalockheart on www.fanfiction.net and you'll see what i mean. as for me, i'm a comic book and videogame geek

Good list, I'm not really a geek about anything, just likes me some good ol' video games sometimes.
About the furries, I mean, I like the antro sorta style some of their art has, but that's all really, I mean, dressing up like that? That is sorta weird...
More bordering on the insane really.
Great article still man.

<--Music geek, Video gamer geek, and MMORPG geek. Very accurate list. GJ

I admit it, I was a Civil War reenactor for a short time when I was stationed in South Carolina. The majority are perfectly normal, intelligent people. But you are right, Protoclown, there are a disturbingly large number of them, especially among the southerners, who would love nothing more than to load up some live ammo and refight the war. And yes, there were several instances of southern units changing the outcome of battles so that they won. After hearing spectators laugh and say "this is a fucking joke" for about the third time, I called it quits.

By the way, they call themselves "Living Historians", which is hilarious on so many levels!

Let´s see...Videogame-Geek and Ex-MMORPG. But since when are Video Games regarded as cool? Ah wait...in the U.S. they are for sure.
Over here in Germany Videogames and Videogamers tend to be stigmatized...because we are all bad people who are out to hurt other people and train for doing so with Videogames...yeah, sure. And as far as I have experienced...most Women don´t like it. :D

So the sports geeks can rattle of stats AND statistics? That's pretty amazing, considering that they're the same fucking thing. Why, next you'll tell us that the film geek can tell you about many films and also movies.

I was in band, but I was in the Drumline. This could actually be worse though because we developed this sort or elitist idea about ourselves and declared independence from the band. And I'll always have stories that start with "This one time at band camp..."

oof card games dont even make the list. Haha take that Yugi!

Nowadays, I'm just a film geek, but in the past I've been:
Video Gamer
Comic Geek (I only read Jonah Hex these days, so I don't think I still count here)
Sci-Fi Geek
Band Geek

Nice list. The lowest I've ever been on this list is MMORPG player and that was back in the day when Ultima Online came out, so it was even less cool than it is now. Other than that I'm also a music/film/comic/sci-fi/RPG geek and videogamer. I don't think I count as Otaku even though I enjoy anime and manga since I
1)shower regularly
2)never cosplayed

I'd also like to propose rising Otakus a bit higher, or alternatively lowering the comic geek status. From what I've seen on all kinds of cons the otaku geekdom tends to have more female members than the comic geekdom. And we all know that having an uterus automatically makes you cool.

Hey, awesome list. I totally agree with the top few (you really can't make fun of the music geeks), and I'm brought small vestiges of happiness upon seeing film geek up there as well. Also, love the description for the fan fic writers; I write those things and I was still laughing my ass off.

But come one, the furry rank is too low. We deserve to at least be above the Ren Faire geeks. We're nice guys, really (and not all of us dress up in full fursuit). Of course, that's just me defending my geek-rank. Apart from that, excellent list.

Lore Sjöberg actually did a flow chart called "the Geek Hierarchy" on the Brunching Shuttlecocks.

Harry Knowles looks like an Irish Sasquatch.

MMOs aren't that bad, really. You just gotta find one that's not populated entirely by awful jackasses.

Oh! I just remembered a furry I went to college with! He was the type of guy who threw around terms like "fursecution" without a hint of irony. He seriously claimed I was as bad as the Nazis because I thought he was ridiculous for thinking he's an anthropomorphic wolf. Also, he was really greasy and squint-eyed and had a really greasy, quint-eyed, fat girlfriend. I'm sure they painted themselves up like wolf-people and had greasy, squint-eyed, probably paint-smeared sex. Ugh.

what no bike geeks??? I'm offended

TOP TWO, MOTHERFUCKERS

BOW BEFORE ME!

Heheh, yeah I said he also needed to add in the fitness/health geeks who know the EXACT calorie count of every piece of food they eat and wouldn't dare go over their daily intake allowance.

Willie is right too, message board/internet geeks would be another good addition.

I also think knitting/craft geeks should be on there, or perhaps just art geeks to be more all-encompassing.

Let's see my Geekdoms are...

Well, I'm an Otaku first and foremost. One with good hygene, that doesn't dress like a character that I should never dress as, but an Otaku none the less!

I'm also a Movie Geek, but I'm the "elitist" kind of movie-geek that doesn't like the same movies as everyone else.

I'm a definite Comic Geek, but I never really got into "Superhero Comics". I read pretty much everything else.

I tried to get into Table-Top RPGs but my friends just weren't into it. So, I had nobody to play with. (BTW you forgot Card-Game RPGs)

And, (are you ready for this) I am, and I will freely admit it, one of those dreaded Fan-Fiction Writers you mentioned! In fact, here's my profile, which reveals a whole lot of other geeky interests. I do NOT write "self-inserts" however. That, would just be a little too far into the abyss.

BTW Furries may be geeky now, but what about in the future after they perfect genetic engineering (allowing them to actually become anthropomorphic animals!)?

Lets see here. Looks like I fall under Video Gamer, Table-top geek, and MMORPG. And I don't give a damn how socially acceptable it is.

Great list, agree for the most part.

Music geeks definitely get off easy. I suppose I fall into the Video Game geek category. I enjoy films, comics, and sci-fi, but on a more casual level.

The only disagreement I have is that you ranked MMO players too low, and Tabletop RPG players too high. If you are talking with people, and you say "I play WoW," you are going to get off much easier than if you say "I play DnD."

Hey, what about "Tech Geeks"?

You know, the guys that go nuts over the latest powerful computer hardware (whether they have any use for it or not) and sometimes even ancient obsolete computers (for the "collector's value).

I don't think "Internet/message board geek" works because usually they fall into one of the other geek categories and like to talk about it. Unless they are the people that frequent 4chan or YTMND or something.

Tech geeks would work.

Let's see...

Agreed, and I mentioned "Tech Geeks" and "RPG Card Game Player". I should also mention "Nostalgia Geeks" and those weirdos that idolize a particular historical figure (like Elvis, Patton, etc.) to an insane obsession.

Say Protoclown, is there any chance of a "Part II", perhaps?

is it

Let us see, I fall under video game geek, movie and TV geek and tabletop geek. As for Orks, I find a bolter will fix them easy.

Does the fanfic geek have a bag over his/her head for our protection, or theirs?

I myself have been a member of RPG, Band, SciFi and VideoGame geek clubs. Once, I was a character in a LARPG - my God, what was I thinking?

NOTHING is lower than a furry... NOTHING!

OMG....I am bottom the barrel...My profile says FANFIC... but to clarify, I only read it. I haven't written anything since I was a teenager. in all other catagories I either turn my nose up or I'm a dabbler *is depressed*

Sports Geek should be at the top of the list mostly because they will fight you for cheering for the other team, and travel in packs.

Respect should be given to the Civil War bunch. A good buddy of mine in college was WAY into this. I've never seen anyone so dedicated to researching anything... and at least it's of actual events. I went to one of these things and learned that 1)most of these guys strive for authenticity, not in uniform, but in the outcome as well 2) most have multiple uniforms and will vary which side they are one 3) I've never seen so much booze consumed in my life!! So at least its a social, moonshine drinking affair.

damn I am all over the place on that list, the only ones I am not are war reinacter, band, sports, mmorpg, film, outaku and larper, meaning I am on the very top and bottom of the list XD

Toy Geek and a Movie Geek and proud! (On the Internet but not particularly in real life).

Sport Geek - i can't help but think of that Seinfeld episode.

Lets see I'm music and video game geek I read a couple of comics but nothing recently.

its harsh being arolleplayer geek, but now its ok to be a nerd, because now everyone knows the nerd withthe highest iq qill likely be the one with the most money and likely gett the most gold diggers in the future.

me too. but ive cross dressed. does that count?

also how about the geek who interrupts your conversation midway just to say something that makes the whole thing extremely awkward? i know someone like that. he would do it every single time i was talking with a friend

*eye shifts*

who u shifting your eyes at, punk?

hell yeah babylon 5

I second tech geeks.

Also, you forgot car geeks and gun geeks. You know the ones...

Fan art geeks deserve the bottom.

A major problem with this article is that the word "cool" is used too much in describing geeks. That's the point: excessive enthusiasm bordering on Asperger's syndrome isn't cool. There's a line crossed when one attempts to base most (or any, if at all) social interactions on minutia of a specialized topic (and it can be ANY topic/interest). In fact, were I a psychiatrist, I'd want to classify geeks as an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Ah, the lowest one yet. "7h3 £337 933|{"

Mmk... just so you know, LARPing is like... the greatest fun ever. And I fall into 5 of these categories, so I feel pretty proud of myself. Lightning Bolt!

What is really sad is when the RenFair and LARPers try to participate in martial arts. Most of them are so commited to their fantasy that they honestly can't be made to understand that "spells" are not an accepted part of effective martial arts. I have seen many a good sparring session ruined by LARPers who believe themselves to be expert combatents, but can't actually do anything besides yell out the names of their spells, deluding themselves into believing that they might actually work in real life.

Also could someone tell me the diffrence between "geeks" ""nerds" and "dorks."

I know it can be a soul-crushing thing to discover that your hero isn't perfect, but I in fact do make mistakes from time to time.

And Willie, no that isn't deadendz...haha. That's some guy from the Flaming Lips, I think. I just found in on a google search.

I would call myself a living historian, in that I study history and am not yet dead. I think you missed a geek-type, one that I proudly cling to. Board game geeks! I know you covered table top RPGs, but you're missing settlers of catan, carcassonne, axis and allies, hell even warhammer 40k and blood bowl! Alas, we are a dying breed, perhaps it is fitting to be left out. :(

Why, I think this is a great example of a group you left off the list.

The "holier-than-thou, has to point out the mistakes of others to make up for their own pathetic exsistence" geek.

Carnivore Is God you're a metal geek

Ah yes, the Furry Geeks being nearly the bottom rung of the ladder. I know all to well the feeling, being a "recovering" furry myself. I was very fortunate, though to know several "normal" furries as my first friends in the fandom...normal meaning they didn't think themselves as animals trapped in human bodies.

I was also a band geek, but dressing like a goober and marching about wasn't why I joined...come to think of it, I didn't understand why I stayed. O.o But I still would think of Otaku as lower than band geeks, cause at least band geeks have better stories to tell. "And this one time at band camp..."

Hm, 3/16 isn't too bad. There area where I live in is painfully bland and 'normal', so there really aren't a lot of Ren fairs, or major sporting events. As I'm not in the US either, there really aren't too many history buffs interested in pretending to be in a civil war from a long time ago, where they lost much of their population and that they ultimately lost (badly).

Was always indifferent to furries, pretty much ignored them at the conventions.

I fall under the video game geek grouping. I even hope to get into game design as a professional career. I'm also sort of an MMORPG geek, but i don't play, like, compulsively. I'm one of the MMO geeks that has REAL friends, you know?

I dunno man, I have to agree with Butters on the whole WOW geeks getting off easier than Role-players thing; if only marginally.

What about actual dictionary-definition geeks?: The sad carnies who bite off the heads of small animals for the amusement of fair-goers. I'd put them between MMOnerds and Band Kids myself.

I know my hero isn't perfect, but I just know that Patrick Swayze will come through this pancreatic cancer think ok.

... as for you Protoclown? You sir are a disappointment. You have the intelligence, you have the voice, you just can't help constantly taking a shit on all of that by throwing out one thing that fucks up each of your articles. It's like playing the most disappointing game of Where's Waldo since the Cancer-Ward edition came out.

I gotta get a kick out of how many of you (and by you I mean us, I did it too)tried to justify your way out of some of those categories, fuck it, we're geeks. "Well I play DnD, but only once a month" You're there, this isn't our hierarchy and society is an asshole. Not the fun, "haha watch me punch a baby" type of asshole either, the kind of asshole retcons 20 years of Spider-Man because he can't handle divorce.

Amen, Wyldflame, Amen!

I am Geek! Hear me Roar!

I remember I used to LARP. When I was 5.

I'm definitely a music and video game geek, while my best friend falls into film geek territory.

Thanks for the comments, guys. It's refreshing to see so many geeks who are capable of making fun of themselves, or at least having a sense of humor about it when other people do.

I myself fall into many of these categories: music, movies, video games, comics, sci-fi, role-playing games, and toys, so I'm definitely taking plenty of shots at myself here too.

Also, I should say that when I was searching for pics and I found that pic of the furry LARPers, I couldn't stop laughing for a good three minutes.

saturnknight: No offense to your girlfriend, but there will be no reading of fan fiction here. Not on my watch.

Magic Flyin' Lemur: Back in college one of my friends lived on a dorm hall with a furry who apparently wrote these bizarre stories about himself being attacked and raped by werewolves, which included sharp claws being thrust into his asshole. Apparently the guys on the hall would get on his computer and read these crazy stories when he was gone.

Bikegeek/Mockery: Yeah, I suppose I could have included fitness geeks. Hell, there's a lot of other types I probably could have added if I'd wanted to, but you gotta draw the line somewhere.

Tetsu Deinoychus: I could've included card game geeks but I figure they're close enough to the RPG geeks there wasn't really any point in distinguishing them with their own separate entry.

Butters: You may have a point, but most people I've talked to have considered MMORPG players lower on the totem pole because they're not really being social like table-top gamers. True, many gamers are socially retarded, but at least they're trying.

Marthaeus Autolykos: So I can't help but notice that you like to over analyze things...

Beatpole: Hell, I think I would pay money to see that shit. Sounds like hilarious entertainment.

KillerMcGee: You have a point, and I do play board games with my friends, but I think I would classify those more in the "RPG" type of category due to the similarities in subject matter, and I would consider things like Balderdash (my favorite board game) to be in a separate "board game" category. Still, I don't think there's enough of a following to really be considered a social sub group worth mentioning.

Despotofks: Do you have a man-crush on me or something? I "disappointed" you because I make a few typos and mistakes? I didn't know you held me on such a pedestal.

Now that I think about it, I've never even seen a genuine Ren Faire, or even heard about one occuring somewhere (anywhere). Last time I even saw the concept come up was in an episode of Home Movies way back when; I honestly didn't know they were still going on.

And yeah, should you di another list, the fitness geek, card game geeks (I remember Pokemon...), and tech geek (that one should be high on the list, if only because he can save our souls when our laptops fail. I speak out of personal expierence on that count)

I mostly agree except I would move fanfic writers up about four ranks. Actually, the ones you described (people who put themselves/their friends into stories) would knock them back down a little.

I would put the LARPer above the The MMORPG Player at least in LARP its an excuse to get to get drunk and hit people over the head with latex weapons

Sure Protoclown, you win. You are the Jodie Foster to my John W. Hinckley Jr. I point out your mistakes because of a man-crush. I'm not going to say that I point out your mistakes to try and help you realize you've made them so, in the future, you'll do better. It's made obvious by the fact that you get defensive and resort to sophomoric teasing when faced with what could be construed as constructive criticism that to do so would be of no help. No, I point out your mistakes because they piss me off. They piss me off because, just like most of the bloggers who have developed an angry rant-like style to their writing since Maddox came out, you suck at it. I've got to think that my reactions to your writing are the same ones you get when you're watching a zombie flick too terrible to be good but eithr too good to be funny-bad or too high budget to be funny-bad. It's easy, people get the angriest when you fuck up their favorite style.

A little "constructive criticism" for you, Despotofks:

Next time you offer your "constructive criticism," and want it to be construed as such, try to NOT put it in the form of a snide comment.

You are right about that Roggs.

Furries are above no one.

I appreciate when people point out my mistakes, so that I can correct them. I don't appreciate people being dicks about it. You don't have to like my writing (that I get paid for, by the way), but it's a little masochistic, don't you think, if you hate it so much yet apparently keep returning to read more of it.

I will try not to be such a dick about it in the future then.

Dix.

I'm a furry who's into games and music, just a little dabbling in anime.

And I really don't care what people think of me.

Furry here, I can explain it all.

Imagine you are a gay man, but you will not ever admit it or even touch gay porn. Because it is so gay. So you dress up as an animal and jerk off to shitty furry porn because dog cock is not like human cock... Right? It's not gay right? Animals do not count! SERIOUSLY!

Ah fuck it, furries ARE messed up.

If you need me I'll be in my closet watching the lion king.

I'm joining an RPG group near Cleveland soon, if anyone would like to join us just let me know.


And one more thing...no furries allowed. Ever. They creep me out

i once knew a chick who turned out to be a secret furry, but not the kind that aactively goes out for the animals, the kind who wants to be one and wants you to want her for it. needless to say, she was pretty hot ass a catchick and i was ashamed.

Some folks say there's nothing lower than the furry geek. I beg to differ. Indeed, the lowest form of geek is the one who feels the need to put down other geeks in order to make themselves feel better.

It's an old story, but I'll tell it again: I once had the fortunate opportunity to have dinner with Trace Beaulieu (Crow T. Robot/Dr. Clayton Forrester of MST3K fame), who was Guest of Honor at a furry convention some years ago. And we asked him what he thought of furries and the idiotic inter-geek snarkery that frequently gets directed at them. Not surprisingly, he said he was disappointed that it goes on. I'm guessing maybe he got enough flak for being a sci-fi fan growing up in Minnesota that he knows what it feels like, so was sad to see sci-fi geeks doing it to others.

Beaulieu's comments were echoed more recently by Mark Evanier, who noted furry fandom "has endured a fair amount of mocking in the past, often from folks who oughta know better, given how their own interests have prompted ridicule from others."

Now, it's not that furries can't take a joke or anything. It's just that the folks who continually put down furries as a way of building themselves up don't seem to realize they aren't all that funny after we've heard it the first hundred times.

In summary, being a geek is cool. Being a geek putting down other geeks is really just lame. Or, as Xeni Jardin of Boing Boing says: "Yay for eccentric humans doing their own thing no matter what fun-crushers may say!"

man it's not even a type of being a geek, it's more of a sexual orientation

like being an anime fan = pedophilia

i personally have the heads of three yiffers mounted above my fireplace.

Did you catch them out in the woods digging holes and eating berries? :)

I think geeks make fun of other geeks to see what it is like to be the people who make fun of geeks. so if a D&D geek(like me) is bullied at work, he'll bully a furry to make himself into the person whom bullied him. It's confusing, and I didn't write that furry comment...by obnoxious cousin did. Please forgive him, he's an asshole.

Not being funny but geeks as a whole endure a whole lot of mocking and general abuse from everyone. I'm not trying to be some peace and love hippie but we do need geeks at each others necks. You get Star wars fans slagging off the trekkies, the D&D fans stabbing at the LARPers and even the Nerdcore rappers do nothing but hate one another.

But the rest of the world will call us geeks no matter what faction we are in or how 'cool' we are on the list. :/

I mean, this article is humour and the people commenting should treat it as such. I take no offense from any of it. (I'm a Furry, music, D&D and video gamer, go me.)

Just my two pennies.

I agree with Fluke, we nerds need to unite and stop mocking each other. It saddens me to see so many people being blind to the big picture:(

bullhonkey

What about Goths and Emos? Or is that for another article?

Agreed.


A little story:

Back when I was in high school (these were the days when 300 baud modems were all the rage... I suspect I've been online since before many of you were even born) *waves cane* we used to have these things called BBSs. This was in the days before this newfangled internet thing became popular.

Now, being the sort of huge geeks who ran or called BBSs in the first place, one could say we weren't exactly the most popular kids in high school. And a lot of these local BBSs had war boards dedicated to flaming other users for no good reason at all. So after school we'd log on and trade insults with other geeks as a way of making ourselves feel better. (This is kinda why I think the whole trading insults with other geeks online thing is so twenty years ago... I've been there, seen that, yawn and sigh.) :sleep

I don't remember what prompted it, but eventually some of us geeks got the idea that there must be more to this online stuff that just flaming each other all the time. So we started to meet each other offline (those of us who lived reasonably close, anyway). And we had fun. A lot more fun than sitting behind our computers flaming each other, certainly.

So that led to more of us getting together offline. And more of us having fun. Geeks who lived further away joined our merry band, and our group continued to grow. Eventually, there were parties. Soon we had a band of about 40-something geeks spanning two counties showing up (40 may not seem like much, but remember, this was before the AOLization of the online world... modems were still very much a geek toy). After making plans online, we descended on local arcades or movie theaters or had picnics in the park and whatever else we could think of. Hiking. Exploring abandoned places. Seeing how many highway cones we could acquire in one evening (and then wondering where we'd like to redirect traffic with them afterward). Our New Year's Eve party lasted three days.

We were geeks, yeah, but we were social. (Demented and sad, but social.)

And what happened to the geeks who still wanted to hang around in front of their computers trading insults? I don't know. They missed out on most of this, I'm afraid, and we were too busy off having fun to notice their absence.



Like all good things, this had to come to an end eventually. In 1988, many of us headed off to college and our merry band was for the most part scattered to the four winds. Some of us still keep in touch here and there.

I guess the point of this story is that it doesn't really matter if you're a gamer geek or an anime geek or a furry geek. We're all geeks, and geeks today have a choice: They can either sit around behind their computer screens flaming other geeks to make themselves feel better, or they can get out and meet their fellow geeks and find out what they, and the real world, has to offer.

double bullhonkey

That's an anagram for Unholy Lubed Bloke. Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?

Wow, Proto, did you tap a vein or what with this one, huh? I loved the article, but who knew it was such an issue for people?

Incidentally, if the thing you one does is so specific that it's highly unlikely anybody else does it, is one, like a Geek singularity? 'Cause I got this friend, see, whose into some very specific shit.

Y'know, I remember the days when I thought I was into some very specific things and there was no way anyone else in the world had the same interests as I did. I was too strange, too bizarre. Nobody could possibly understand. It was just too weird.

Then I stumbled onto the internet and found whole groups of people who were into the same things I was.

So yay for the internet. :)

no, like, I'm talking you gotta have this antique walnut press, right? to make Walnut oil, and it's got to be authentic or it won't work. And then there's the whole thing with having someone paint a portrait of you while you do it. And that guy has to take a blood oath never to tell.

Well, is he a Tigger or an Eeyore?

Never say never.

I don't want to hang around 40 geeks. I am one of the beautiful people.

i think nerds of all people should understand how goofy and deserving of ridicule they are

Well, okay, you can be a beautiful person hanging out by your lonesome while the rest of us go party and stuff. We'll send you a postcard. :lol

Tadao, you're at i-mockery. Besides nerdiness is fun. They have more fun than most normal people- especially when drunk.

Anyway, I'm saying Protoclown only met the scary otaku. Liking anime and not bathing should not be synonimous. Of course, I also fall under the gamer nerd. I go to ren. fests, but I'm not a groupie. (Although if I could get away with it, I would dress that way every day.) So what does that make me? Are dabblers in various forms of nerdiness nerds, or just posers?

oh shit! I have been mocked? *hangs head* you nerds will pay. PAY!!!!