Tales from the Longbox #28: "The Crossover We've All Been Waiting For"
 

Automatically generated comment thread for Tales from the Longbox #28: "The Crossover We've All Been Waiting For".

wow. some of those pics get fanboys going i bet. id lie if i didnt say i didnt get it. it sounds illogical and awful, like it simply rides by on breasts and lasers. but its a typical american comic book, not some kind of fantastic graphic novel, whadyou expect i guess.

Robert E. Howard would cry knowing his creation would team up in such a weird comic, and not the good weird as in 1930s pulp fiction. One look at this and he'd shoot himself in the head again.

Great writeup Mr Protoclown. You even managed to get a little LARPer-bashing in.

"Spider-Man tries to get to the bottom of this bizarre occurrence by swinging around on stuff" - pretty much summed up his entire career there, dude.

I think somebody at Marvel went "hey, 13-year-old boys like Spidey...and hot barbarian chicks. Let's bring them together!" Unfortunately no-one was around to say "No" and then shoot them through the head. Shame.

Honestly, this story sounds so damn boring...the comic´s story that is, not your writing Protoclown. The Protoclown´s writing is not to be questioned. It´s schnafte (interesting sounding word for very nice).

I'm glad I can't draw women like that... I'd never leave the house... I mean... errr... Great writing Proto! (I literally LOL at the larp reference.)

"I am not worth any 'experience'." :)

I want to see Red Sonja team up with Howard the Duck. It would be a Failed Movie Spinoff Extravaganza!

I'm still waiting for a Flaming Carrot and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crossover to happen. Oh wait... it already did. I guess this means no other crossovers are needed ever again. Somebody please pass this memo onto all the comic book publishers out there.

At least MJ and Peter are still together.

For the featured panels, did you write in your own dialogue or does Spider-Man really say "Oh Snap"?

Please tell me it's your own dialogue.

I altered nothing in the images I posted for this piece!

You altered nothing? Oh God it really is that bad?

How about a "Goddamned Batman and Superman/Red Sonja Wonderwoman" Lezbo Lust Crossover?

I actually own the original crossover. Bought it as a kid (I *loved* Spider-Man and hey, sword-weilding female character = COOL to a 7 year old girl...) Although it's been a while since I read it, about the only things I remember are

1. The villain is the same, with something of the same MO (takes over NYC and turns it into a live-action Everquest)

2. I *think* MJ might have been transformed into Red Sonja in that one, too, but I'd have to check.

3. Most of the other heroes were either made thralls of the bigbad or were fighting against him (I think he took out Dr. Strange first out, so he wouldn't have to deal with him.) Also...note how JJJ looks like Dr. Strange in that panel. I thought that's who it was until I read Proto's commentary.

If I'm really ambitious one of these days, I'll hunt the thing out of my longboxes and really take a look at it, but for now, it's late and I'm just going with memories. I think, though, the older one was better. I mean, it didn't take six books after all *Zing!*

Great article, but I don't think that there will ever be a marvel team-up as odd as Aunt May and Franklin Richards fighting Galactus.

Man, I hope they put this out in a trade paperback. I would buy it. I would buy it twice. (Eventually. After the first one falls apart, as no less than three of my trades have done so far. DC needs stronger glue or something.)

It has become clear. El Serpento must team up.

That's all kinds of horrible.

Mwah-ha-ha! I used to have this one too, and if I remember a-rightly, the plot was indeed broadly similarish and had Mary Jane as Sonja. Sadly (not really, but anyway) I've sold it off, but I've still got the real sequel, which seems to have been entirely forgotten by the... creators of this epic. A two-part X-Men epic by Claremont and Romita jr. that was actually quite nice in all its cheesiness. No Sonja that time round, and Spider-Man mostly just hung on a cross being tortured. That might just be why it wasn't bad. I don't have it to hand right now, but in a broadly similarish plot, Gath planned to rule the world with an army of Morlock grunts and was foiled just when things looked their darkest.

"If you look in the mirror and say Venom's name three times, he will appear and perform analingus on you."

So out of left field I couldn't help but laugh.

Not a hoax! Not a What If! Not an imaginary story!

"In a very strange Marvel Team-Up Spider-man’s loving Aunt while babysitting Franklin Richards (Reed and Sue’s son) became transformed into the herald of Galactus known as the Golden Oldie. Her quest for sustenance for her master ended in her finding a giant Twinkie for Galactus to devour. Then the story sort of went away as a dream…or was it?"

Yeup.

what about the time when wonder woman and catwoman teamed up with fafhrd and the gray mouser

they should remake that one

Now I recall seeing that Batman & Tarzan crossover at the comics store... Spidey and Red Sonja aren't all that bad compared to that if you ask me :p

This crossover isn't that bad in hindsight, considering that somebody thought it would be a good idea to team the Punisher up with Archie (from those lame Archie comic books).