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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Tadao Jan 14th, 2009 04:05 PM

RaNkeri Jan 14th, 2009 04:08 PM


Kitsa Jan 14th, 2009 05:06 PM

What is the protocol when you can't shovel your own driveway and a little kid comes to the door wanting to shovel it for money and you don't have any?

I can't think of any resolution to that where I don't look like a total asshole. :(

Grislygus Jan 14th, 2009 05:09 PM

Give him an IOU for sex when he turns eighteen, that should cover a driveway

Tadao Jan 14th, 2009 05:17 PM

In your town? Tell him you are being punished for over cooking the roast and if your man finds out you didn't actually do it he will beat you again.

Tadao Jan 14th, 2009 07:47 PM

I get the feeling most people dont know the word moor. I have 1001 nights to thank for learning it.

executioneer Jan 14th, 2009 08:13 PM

i watched robin hood prince of thieves i know what it means

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 08:23 PM

i frst heard it in othello :)

kahljorn Jan 14th, 2009 08:25 PM

or maybe it was titus adronicus

regardless i learned it mostly from shakespeare ;o

Kitsa Jan 14th, 2009 08:28 PM

I was a european history junkie as a kid. I knew that Moors were black guys who were kicked out of Spain. Understood it a tad better later.

Aaarg Jan 15th, 2009 05:39 PM

i learned moor from a tom waits song.

Shrubfest Jan 15th, 2009 06:01 PM

Field-type wildernesses with sheep on them?

And black people?


Grislygus Jan 15th, 2009 07:02 PM

Liquid's "chosen not to receive private messages".


Grislygus Jan 15th, 2009 07:06 PM

Grislygus Jan 15th, 2009 07:08 PM


Grislygus Jan 15th, 2009 07:08 PM

Tadao Jan 15th, 2009 07:13 PM

Nice Gus.

Can Banned people get PMs?

Kitsa Jan 15th, 2009 07:54 PM

I just came back from delivering framed pictures to a gallery for showing.

She only wanted 6 :( I showed up with 12.

Tadao Jan 15th, 2009 08:27 PM

Which ones?

Oh and


Kitsa Jan 15th, 2009 08:30 PM

I can't even remember. I just remember being surprised that she chose based on the backgrounds and not the subjects. She chose ones I thought she wouldn't and didn't choose ones I thought she would. I'll have to unwrap the rest in the morning so I can recall.

Cute hedgehog.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 15th, 2009 08:30 PM


Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 608091)
I just came back from delivering framed pictures to a gallery for showing.

She only wanted 6 :( I showed up with 12.

It's better than showing up with 4. At least with 12 you can pick which 6 you like best to put up.

Kitsa Jan 15th, 2009 08:34 PM

Yeah, guess that's true.

The person who had the space before me had black-and-white cityscape prints in these giant ornate frames, at least 20x30 ea. The frames made me feel very inadequate because all I had were 8.5x11s in minimalistic black frames, no mats. My stuff all looked kind of dinky.

Well, whatever, if the owner's happy with it, that's all I care about.

Tadao Jan 15th, 2009 08:36 PM

Remember about what I said about which ones to pick? She did exactly what I said to do. :(

It's a stupid way to do it but it's for the overall look of the wall.

Kitsa Jan 15th, 2009 08:37 PM

Yeah, heh.

I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 16th, 2009 12:32 AM

Just getting home from drinking and Carrie Okay.

Sung Long Train Runnin by Doobie Brothers.

Black Velvet Band by Irish Rovers

Doing anything for love by Meat Loaf with my friend Gina

Baggy Trousers by Madness.

pac-man Jan 16th, 2009 12:44 AM

Don't you hate it when you start breaking up your stash and you start finding like clusters of seeds?

DevilWearsPrada Jan 16th, 2009 01:04 AM

I usually shrug it off and chew the seeds

Kitsa Jan 16th, 2009 07:08 AM

Why can't you smoke the seeds? Or plant them and eliminate the middleman?

DevilWearsPrada Jan 16th, 2009 09:30 AM

:x , is why.

Seeds don't burn right, and make the smoke stale and hard to inhale.
plus, planting them is a whole diff. story

MetalMilitia Jan 16th, 2009 09:37 AM

Watch out guys I think Kitsa's a nark.

pac-man Jan 16th, 2009 09:41 AM

Kitsa Jan 16th, 2009 10:39 AM

just ignorant. A narc would try to pretend knowledge and fit in.

MetalMilitia Jan 16th, 2009 11:04 AM

Whatever nark.

Kitsa Jan 16th, 2009 11:12 AM

I stayed at the Ritz Carlton 5 years ago and got upgraded to some sort of fancy-schmancy suite because my room wasn't ready. It was a very weird experience, complete with bath menu (you could have a maid draw a bath with rubber ducky and piped in music for $50, but it didn't say how much to tip her):

and a lounge where there were five "food presentations" per day. Apparently Usher was on the same floor at the same time, and fell asleep in his bathtub and flooded the room below him, but I never saw him.

Anyway, the Ritz Carlton still sends me email despite my being disabled and poor now.

Oh, Ritz Carlton, you so funny.

Grislygus Jan 16th, 2009 12:20 PM

A Goth, a Vandal, and a disheveled Roman walk into a bar. The Roman gets a few drinks in him and launches a tirade at his two compatriots. "You can take our wealth, you can take our lives, but you can never take our culture!", he screams, then collapses to the floor. The Vandal turns to the Goth and asks, "Vatch iss ziss he isk saying?" His friend shrugs disinterestedly.

"Ich wiel nicht," the Goth mutters over the brim of his cup, "Iss all Greek to me!"

I miss Seth :(

Shrubfest Jan 16th, 2009 12:26 PM

How come you don't do anything or see anyone for weeks, and when you really just wanna stay in, everyone invites you out?

Grislygus Jan 16th, 2009 12:34 PM

Ingrained radar systems

Shrubfest Jan 16th, 2009 12:34 PM


Grislygus Jan 16th, 2009 12:39 PM

Shit, you're English too, you people have had radar down pat since WWII, you should be able to pick up on when not to answer the phone

glowbelly Jan 16th, 2009 01:22 PM


Zomboid Jan 16th, 2009 02:28 PM

I have to fart so badly, but I'm in class :(

glowbelly Jan 16th, 2009 02:29 PM

just let it fly.

i have awesome cleavage today

Kitsa Jan 16th, 2009 02:29 PM

My bf has a horror story about a quiet classroom and a fart that he was just sure was going to be silent.

glowbelly Jan 16th, 2009 02:43 PM

my son and i call each other "farticus" when we let loose at home :lol

Zomboid Jan 16th, 2009 02:51 PM

I tried to let it loose, thinking it would be more or less silent, and also because I'm in the very back corner of the room (need an outlet for my laptop), but I let a little toot sound out and this hot girl in front of me looked back at me curiously :(

Kitsa Jan 16th, 2009 02:56 PM

could've been worse, could've been liquid.

MetalMilitia Jan 16th, 2009 03:13 PM

Yeah if he'd heard he would've totally made a big deal about making sure everyone knew what had just happened.

Zomboid Jan 16th, 2009 03:26 PM

I went to the bathroom during the 5 minute break and farted, but I've been drinking a giant can of energy drink, and now my legs are shaking because I have to pee so badly.

Grislygus Jan 16th, 2009 03:35 PM

Oh man was it one of those megacans that act as baby bottles for young adults

I get those a dollar a pop at work and shotgun the motherfuckers, you end up making like old faithful :x

Zomboid Jan 16th, 2009 03:41 PM

Yeah, that's exactly what it is. I have my legs crossed and my left leg is shaking like crazy. Right now, we're goin through the last bit of this class, but I keep looking at the clock and THAT IS NOT HELPING!

Grislygus Jan 16th, 2009 03:43 PM

Oh fuck, and then you always have everyone packed up to go five minutes before the end of class because people can tell when somebody's gearing to go and do likewise, and the teacher gets irritated and deliberately starts babbling as much as she possibly can and time slows to a crawl

Tadao Jan 16th, 2009 04:09 PM

Zomboid Jan 16th, 2009 04:26 PM

In my rhetoric class, the prof was taking attendance, and when he called out this girl who's last name is BROWN-RING, I started laughing uncontrollably :(

pac-man Jan 16th, 2009 07:29 PM

Tadao Jan 16th, 2009 09:24 PM

From : Weekly Comic Review: Maakies


Originally Posted by captain516 (Post 608297)
The cartoon would be a lot better if they used traditional animation, it looks like a bad videogame cutscene.

I really fucking hate the shit that comes out of this guys mouth.

Pub Lover Jan 17th, 2009 03:34 AM

Is ZeldaQueen an UberTroll, or is someone actually encouraging this?

Pub Lover Jan 17th, 2009 03:36 AM


UberMetaTroll! >:

Tadao Jan 17th, 2009 05:07 AM

Normal people are trolls in bizarro world.

Supafly345 Jan 17th, 2009 07:49 AM

Pub Lover Jan 18th, 2009 12:30 AM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 608331)
Normal people are trolls in bizarro world.

She is normal? :eek

Fuck non-bizarro world if she is normal. >:

Pub Lover Jan 18th, 2009 12:31 AM

And by 'fuck' I mean 'to hell with'. >:

No way I'd bone such a shitbag. >:

Although, if she offered... :love

Tadao Jan 18th, 2009 12:45 AM

She needs something to keep her mouth busy.

Fathom Zero Jan 18th, 2009 12:50 PM


Pub Lover Jan 19th, 2009 02:55 AM


Originally Posted by pac-man (Post 608579)
What the fuck are you talking about? He's talking about this month being fucked up, not January of 27 million B.C. I mean, shit, I don't think we're going extinct this month. Not to mention journalism from that era is spotty at best.

Dude, you're being trolled! Don't rise to it, Man.

Kitsa Jan 19th, 2009 08:58 AM

I'm glad I apparently missed this.

pac-man Jan 19th, 2009 07:02 PM


Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 608591)
Dude, you're being trolled! Don't rise to it, Man.

I know! I know! She's just too... normal. >:

Pub Lover Jan 19th, 2009 09:20 PM


Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen (Post 608683)
That, it seems, is were we must disagree. >:

On the venn diagram of Glowbelly & ZeldaQueen's interests, is there much correlation? :eek

Where is Fartin? I want to talk about dildos. >:

That was the sole intersect between GB and that crazy lawn mowerer's Interest Venn. :(

Womti Jan 20th, 2009 10:40 AM


wait what :(

Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 11:32 AM

One Christmas my grandmother got me a sushi set. :loveThen she insisted I use it immediately to make sushi for her and my grandfather. :)

I was puzzled about this because I never knew them to be especially open to sushi-style options, particularly seaweed wraps and/or anything raw. But we went out to the Asian grocery and bought sushi rice and wraps, along with pickles and wasabi because I was trying to think of something that would be palatable to them. :|

So we get home, I make the sushi rice, I make rolls of rice, wasabi, and strips of leftover turkey.

My grandmother picks it apart, dislikes the nori (seaweed wrap). She opines that the sushi would be better if it were wrapped in bologna. And without wasabi.:\

I make a second set of rolls, rice and turkey wrapped in bologna. As you can imagine, bologna doesn't really stick to itself and makes a shitty sushi wrap. But I aim to please.:)

My grandmother surveys the floppy bologna-wrapped turkey and rice and pours a liberal amount of turkey gravy over it, then eats it.:hypno

She now tells everyone she's had sushi.:lol

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 12:33 PM

I've got a sushi roll she can gum at.

Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 12:37 PM

Gotta make everything ugly, don't you.

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 12:40 PM

Yeah :(


Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 12:50 PM

At first I thought, Grandma and Grandpa doesn't know what sushi is and is gonna hate it, then I though, this could be surprising and maybe they'll love it. But then it didn't. :(

I use to have to make smoked salmon and cooked fish rolls for my less risk taking friends. I've made a chicken roll but never made a turkey roll.

Colonel Flagg Jan 20th, 2009 01:16 PM


Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 608742)
My grandmother surveys the floppy bologna-wrapped turkey and rice and pours a liberal amount of turkey gravy over it, then eats it.:hypno

She now tells everyone she's had sushi.:lol

Yes. She probably also likes tofu, but without the bean curd.

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 01:24 PM

OMFG no way :(


Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 01:38 PM

Another thing I was thinking about today was that I will probably never get married again. The original marriage was such a nightmare clusterfuck, ended so badly and was with such a hideous, atrocious person of zero moral fiber that I hesitate to ever yoke myself to that sort of obligation in the future.

I love my boyfriend very much, but he's not asking and I'm not urging. I have zero warm fuzzies toward the institution of marriage.

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 01:51 PM

Good for you guys. I would only get married again if the person I loved needed medical (assuming I was working and had medical) or needed U.S. citizenship. Other than that I don't see any reason to put it on paper.

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 02:25 PM

Dear Kitsa,


Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 02:41 PM


also, has craigslist always been rednecks and idiots or is that a new thing?

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 02:44 PM

I always though that craigs list is mainly for sexual deviants and garage sales.

Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 02:51 PM

I wouldn't use it for garage sales...wouldn't want any of those people knowing where I lived.

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 03:13 PM

Moms been selling grandmas coin collection on ebay for years. Ebay just changed things in a way that kinda dicks the sellers and she wanted to move over to craigs list. I personally have only been there like three times, but I don't trust it at all. I don't know why, I just get the feeling that bad things lurk there for the truley innocent people and I want no part of it.

Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 03:33 PM

Yeah, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole but it's fun to read sometimes.

MetalMilitia Jan 20th, 2009 03:35 PM

I think the creepiest/most pathetic part of Craigslist is that whole Missed Connections thing they have. It's always stuff like

We silently shared an elevator at the Blah Mall parking lot - I felt a connection and would like to meet you again because I love you. E-mail me at notarapist@gmail.com

Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 04:21 PM

I love the ones from around here, and their telltale vernacular.

"I seen you from acrost the bar. You ordid the hot wings and a beer. I wisht I coulda bought you that beer. Your tits was hottern the wings. I think we coulda had a connection. Please email me at toothlesswithmydickout@plebiangoodintentions.net"

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 04:32 PM


Originally Posted by Mockery (Post 608784)
Sorry for the delay in posting this... here be my current entertainment center / workplace setup.

Bape skin is better, admit it :rolleyes

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 04:56 PM

I think I just reached my limit on the acceptability of the term African-American. No one else uses Insertrace-American. Are you ashamed of being African? It's fucking insulting. I am not Japanese-American. I am a full blooded American. Niggas is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you. Get, that, dirt off your shoulder

MetalMilitia Jan 20th, 2009 04:58 PM

wtf, I thought you were Japanese-Mexican-American?

Dimnos Jan 20th, 2009 05:19 PM

African-American is as much of a real term as Mexican-Russian

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 05:22 PM

I wish I had Mexican blood. This whole Jap/White thing means I can't step on the dance floor.

Kitsa Jan 20th, 2009 05:59 PM

I'm ...wait

does the thing before the dash only count if it's not Caucasian?

I think I'm, uh

French-Jewish-American sorta

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:27 PM


What the fuck, guys

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:30 PM


Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen (Post 608810)
Ben 10, from what I've gathered

Through watching every single episode many times over


is about a kid named Ben with this alien wrist-mounted device that lets him turn into ten different alien forms (hence the name). His grandfather takes him and his cousin Gwen on trips in which they run into various monsters/aliens.

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:31 PM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 608789)
BTW Powerpuff Girls never really had a plot line right? Each episode was really a stand alone. Mojo Jojo is the greatest, and if you can keep up with his sentences you should be able to keep up with a story.... wait. What exactly do you mean by saying the story is moving too fuckig fast? I can't imagine this situation.

Says the fifty year old japanese pedophile

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:35 PM


Originally Posted by Phoenix Gamma (Post 608675)
While we're talking about kid's shows, the 10th anniversary Powerpuff Girls special is on right now. . . still really well written. . . I mean...I like manly cartoons like Batman. Actually, I do; The Animated Series was awesome, man. I still watch those old episodes.

Saving throw fails.


Flapjack's funny too. I like the textures they use, and the silly faces they make are nice for a cheap laugh.
This man watches cartoons while he is not baked, ladies and gentlemen

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:37 PM


Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 608385)
I like Avatar.

GW's on the ball. Way to go, champ

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:40 PM


Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen (Post 608278)
I did like Danny Phantom. Had the goofiness of Fairly Odd Parents but still had some seriousness to it. Did you see the special?


Originally Posted by DevilWearsPrada (Post 608283)

Shut up.

And fucking Zeldasbiggestfan makes the lone effort. LESS HAVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:41 PM

What do you think, commentators?

Tadao Jan 20th, 2009 06:42 PM

I actually know what Ben 10 is :( I baby my siblings kids. I forget how I watched so much Powerpuff girls. I think I was really high all the time. I used to watch a lot of Freakazoid and Baby Loony Toones.

Grislygus Jan 20th, 2009 06:43 PM


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