Getting impregnated would solve these sorts of problems, Carni

No, it wouldn't.
I'm intelligent enough to know I shouldn't be a parent.

and no afraid to murder

Euthanasia's not homocide.

Why do you have to take all the fun out of abortion Cig?

I thought that was the fun part.

Can I interest you in a throat lozenge?

I don't think there should be any youth in Asia.

..

I fucking hate that level

OMG Palin won't go away! I will forever hate McCain for this!

The Beast That Wouldn't Die

I treated McCain with tons of respect for his service and not snitching, I even respected him because he would show emotion and yell and shit, but he has forever erased any respect I have for him by allowing himself to be a government puppet. Throw him in the fire with the rest of them.

SUP DUDES?

WHASSAP BRA

CHECK THIS SHIT

Howdy folks!

Don't get mad at me but is that John Lennon?

Actually, it is a good friend of mine who suddenly decided to grow Fabio hair and rock out with his cock out, and requested a picture of himself destroying Canada

That would have been awesome if it was Lennon :(

Don't tell anyone that it isn't

I like to think of Lennon finally losing it on some people.

I haven't seen The Last Unicorn since I was a kid

I'm just as amused as my three year old.

"Oh God no, I'm engaged to a Douglas Fir!"

I've never seen any unicorn so count yourself lucky!

Dude, Mia Farrow was in that?

Angela Lansbury, Alan Arkin, and Christopher Lee too, huh

Oh, yeah.

I went to elementary school with this kid who honestly believed that she was a horse. Specifically, a lavender horse with a purple mane. She galloped around the playground and everything. I think she might have been a tad unbalanced.

Anyway, her big thing was to try and force people to reenact The Last Unicorn with her. She was the unicorn, of course.

Even way back then I thought people were stupid.

Plot seems kinda dull

This horrible day will not end.

I was making spaghetti for dinner. The noodles were cooked to perfection. I put the strainer atop the pot of noodles, as usual, and inverted it to drain them. The entire pot of spaghetti found its way out a 2-inch crevice on one side of the strainer and went straight down the garbage disposal.

We're out of dishwasher detergent and I can't afford to buy any till Wednesday. My hands are too torn-up to do the dishes by hand, so I tried squirting a little bit of dish soap into the dishwasher. In retrospect, not the brightest move. Our kitchen floor is covered in suds about an ankle deep.

After dinner, I'm going to bed.

It's not a great plot, but it's amusing. Shmendrick and um... the lady with the wild hair, Molly, make it watchable. The love bits between the prince and Amalthea almost make it not. They're set to America.

Also it's very pretty.

:( bad day for you and me both darlin.
I HAD TO PASS UP SEX
I am so unhappy.

Nu uh.

I've done this too - on the bright side, it's the kind of mistake you only make once.

I feel your pain, Kit. Have a whiskey on the rocks, on me. Tell 'em "Flagg's settin' me up". :(

Just to point sumfin out, if you pour salt on the suds, it'll make them go down.

Don't listen to this guy - I tried that once and it exploded my kitchen into smithereens!

Blast! My nefarious scheme is ruined! CURSE YOU, RICHARDS!

i think i just sprained my ankle oh god ithurtsithurtsithurts

Asila, honestly, do you need a boner hug? We could send someone




And by someone I mean Tadao, but you have to act surprised when he shows up at the door

It might make me feel better :(

You may have to share it with CiG and Kitsa though, get a hairpin ready

we can take turns

But who gets to hold his hair back when he pukes on your porch?

That's what hair ties are for!

I'll bet Kitsa'll do it

I wouldn't mind 3 seconds of sex and then watching you 3 fool around.

Yah you pull that all together and let me know :rolleyes

;)

I'm pulling it now.

It's what you do when you wanna beat around the bush but you don't want your h*rdon to go soft :x

I am so angry.
But I'll still make you all better if you come over.
:P

So is that like a porno term? Should I add that to my list of porno terms right next to 'fluffer'?

HAWT

You haven't seen my new pictures yet ;)

Or did you check for them already?
I don't know, either way I'm still angry.
Stupid uterus.

Your bleeding doesn't make you less sexy lady OH YES I DID CHECK I SUPPOSE I SHOULD POST PICS MESELF

Hahah I'll upload them to my photobucket tomorrow.
Don't post those here, they have sensitive info "watermarked" on them......
Bleeding may not detract from how I look, but it sure fucks with how I feel.
And it's fucking with my sex life goddammmmmmit

;)

stupid sex life

Yuh-huh me mommy told me so

i spent the previous two nights working the overnight shift, so now i'm wide awake at 2am and i hate life.

How did I get in on the porno team? I don't remember volunteering for a foursome.

It just got worse- I got up to a mountain of dishes I now had to wash by hand whether my hands are buggered or not. Then as the bf is headed out the door, he asks where his coat is. He asked me to wash it last night, and I did. I just didn't dry it because I was busy dealing with all the other shit and forgot.

Today is shaping up to be exactly like yesterday. I'm afraid.

I just thought of an awesome way to score hot chicks in art schools. Claim to have an unusually textured penis and ask if anyone wants to take a rubbing. Even if it doesn't work you'll at least earn yourself a place on the sex offenders register so it's really win-win.

Dude, all you have to do to score artschool chicks in have bullshit spewing out of your mouth constantly, Not sure how you could keep up after starting off that strong

i can tell you

talk about indie bands that nobody has ever heard of

they eat that mess up

RILO KILEY, PAVEMENT, AND BRIGHT EYES

GET YOU LAID EVERYTIME. ;)

shi* you might as well be packin latex at that point, bruh

Actually, yeah, just make sure to say that you "discovered" them

SEE GUYS, I KNOW.

I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. :(

Art school? God, how could you stand to be in the same room as the guys, man, artfags are terrible

artfags and music snobs

they are pmuch like jocks, but on the opposite end of the spectrum

I think I'm a music snob :(

Hate eminem so much it hurts

Well, actually, I listen to pretty awful music, but still, everyone's personal taste sucks except for me

I'm glad my art teachers all hated me and made me afraid of art school so I didn't go.

TRYIN TO GET DAT P*SSY, SON.

That's awesome.

Self fulfilling prophecies?

I just got a phone call and the guy is all "Hello Todd?" I'm all "yeah?" He was then like all "I see you have stayed at Hilton Inn recently and we have a package not available to..." and I was all "No thank you" *click*.

Over Thanksgiving my brother said that the big two to go bankrupt right now are Hotels and Airlines because that shit is getting cut out of every works budget right now.

Point is... Who here has ever been cold called by a hotel? OMG WHAT IF MY WIFE FOUND OUT! MOTHER FUCKERS!

I keep getting called on my cell by some woman who thinks I'm "Greg". Apparently Greg owes on a boat.

I've told her that I'm a) not Greg and b) don't own a boat, but she will not be deterred.

I wonder if they're going to send repo people after me for the boat I don't have. Maybe they'll take a neighbor's bass boat.

You should see what she wants. If it's a sale, be all interested and then say hold on a sec, put the phone near the tv and walk away. My other favorite is walking into the bathroom while they give their pitch and flush the toilet just to see if I can put a break in their stride.

I better stop bleeding by Friday.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN MY WEEKEND UTERUS!

I've gotten the boat call too when I was on vacation in the Cayman Islands. Only while I was there though.

We get cruise ship calls all the time.

I meant, this guy bought a boat and is in collections for it or something.

Ah, then tell them yeah he's here hold on, and then set the phone down and let them listen to nothing.

Did you co-sign anything for a relative? That's my guess.

nope, never cosigned for anyone. I think it's just a wrong number that they refuse to believe.

wow, guys, fuck jobhunting

Yeah, job hunting is why most people stay in thier shitty jobs.

It sucks I may end up working at walmart again.

Oh man, the jokes coming to me are endless :(

;)

I read this and then looked to the left at your BAD NEWS logo dripping red. I just thought to myself "BAD NEWS indeed."

There's a shitload of jobs where I'm at. Most of them are in food service, but there are a lot of openings in retail as well. It's weird. I think the recession is being caused by so many people quitting and being fired. I've had my job for two and a half years and we have just been getting more and more desperate for people.

It's that they can't afford to work for so little. However, it's a boon to the teenage workforce (booyah).

For some reason I can't get enough Rice Krispies. I ate like 4 bowls today.

I highly doubt I'm lucky enough to be pg again so it's probably just me being fat.

grain deficient.

Big fat fucking piece of shit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY_8woQ-HEA

Previous to Conan O'Brien's talkshow career...

The Erasure guy has AIDS from the homo gay. :(

IT AIN'T FAIR I TELLS YA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfJnnl6Yekg

*HUGS* <3 <3 <3
I don't use coloured text for regular comments. :(

Let her be real, pls? :(

Ranny-K! Stop spreading your tyttöbakteeri to everyone. >:


I read the mainsite, WTH? :(

Hey guys, pretending to be gay in real life leads to worse problems than being beaten up if the other guys pretend to be gay back. :(

Do I back down? No. Do they? No?! Oh shit... :x
Pac-Man, stop hitting on all the ugly white chicks. You're better than that.