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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

RaNkeri Jan 9th, 2010 10:56 AM

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:01 PM

so i picked a new year's resolution, and i think everyone here will be proud of me if i can stick to it.

MLE Jan 9th, 2010 03:02 PM

To post your boobs on the internet?

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:06 PM

you musta missed all that.
no, this year i will NOT sleep with anyone's boyfriend or husband.
exes are still borderline though.

Shrubfest Jan 9th, 2010 03:07 PM

Danm, I was about to say that!

Less than five men at once, and only single ones.

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:10 PM

sex shouldn't be so complicated.

Shrubfest Jan 9th, 2010 03:12 PM

Sex isn't. People make sex complex.

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:17 PM

shrub, we need to write a book about sex etiquette for today's slut.

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:24 PM

we'll be millionaires just because it has the word "slut" in the title.

Shrubfest Jan 9th, 2010 03:25 PM

1. Never give them your real name.

Fathom Zero Jan 9th, 2010 03:32 PM

I missed you guys a lot.

Shrubfest Jan 9th, 2010 03:34 PM

Good. Are you a slut? Can you contribute?

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:37 PM

2. Give them your homocidal ex boyfriend's number if they are persistent and you have no interest.

Dixie Jan 9th, 2010 03:38 PM

seriously though, always carry wetnaps, you never know when they can come in handy.

Fathom Zero Jan 9th, 2010 03:39 PM


Originally Posted by Shrubfest (Post 666898)
Good. Are you a slut? Can you contribute?

I've broken relationships and lost the majority of my friends once because of it.

I think the criteria has been filled.

RaNkeri Jan 9th, 2010 04:03 PM

Miami Vice, fuck yeah

Sam Jan 9th, 2010 04:27 PM

I love all the sluts on this page. :(

Shrubfest Jan 9th, 2010 04:34 PM

And we love you, Sam.

RaNkeri Jan 9th, 2010 04:43 PM


Fathom Zero Jan 9th, 2010 06:53 PM

The sexuality is palpable.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 9th, 2010 07:10 PM

Sweet, I made it in time for the sluts page.

kahljorn Jan 9th, 2010 08:43 PM

me too

LordSappington Jan 9th, 2010 11:27 PM

My day consisted of walking three miles through woods to get to a bus stop, ride buses for an hour and a half, walk another two miles to my girlfriend's house, and spend most of the rest of the day watching Teen Titans with her. I have definitely found a keeper.

Chojin Jan 10th, 2010 12:14 AM

Side effect of losing 35 pounds and shaving your head: BEING FUCKING COLD ALL THE TIME

Esuohlim Jan 10th, 2010 12:58 AM

I'm a skinny little shit and I don't even own anything with long sleeves. Be a man.

Zhukov Jan 10th, 2010 04:41 AM

I live next to Antarctica and weigh less than a medium sized dog. GROW SOME.

Went with Miss by the way Kitsa :( figured the old hag would take it as a compliment.

DevilWearsPrada Jan 10th, 2010 06:09 AM

I haven't posted in over 2 1/2 months :(

MarioRPG Jan 10th, 2010 02:24 PM

So what's your excuse :(

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 02:43 PM



RaNkeri Jan 10th, 2010 02:54 PM

Well fuck me sideways

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 03:08 PM

i appreciate the offer but im afraid my rubharb isnt bittered that way

if that even is rankeri im talking to, i cant interpret all of this information jammed into my cellphone screen

Pub Lover Jan 10th, 2010 05:29 PM

Jesus Christ! It is Grislygus! :eek

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 05:38 PM

i have a PHONE now

it does the internet

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 05:41 PM

and i have officiially escaped Oreegonia, and am now enjoying a relaxing, murderous job search in gluuurious souf caleefurnia, mit der guvernator

elx Jan 10th, 2010 06:34 PM

speaking of california, did you get smushed by a tsunami or something last night tadao?

Tadao Jan 10th, 2010 06:38 PM

Nope but my ex wife did. I just found out about it today. I gave her the house in Eureka, I wonder if it's a pile of wood now.

elx Jan 10th, 2010 06:40 PM

tell her to quack quack like a beaver duck with grey tape

Tadao Jan 10th, 2010 06:44 PM

I totally don't get that. :( Is that a new dance you kids do at the discotech?

Pentegarn Jan 10th, 2010 06:45 PM

I thought a 'beaver duck with grey tape' was a sexual position

elx Jan 10th, 2010 06:46 PM

it's o k you'll understand when you're older

edit: and no, unless you're having sex with a platypus :(

Pentegarn Jan 10th, 2010 06:49 PM

That's considered a friday night at the club in New Zealand :P

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 06:50 PM

who in the god damn hell is elx?

just kidding you, I dont care, I'm just going to call you Venison

The Leader Jan 10th, 2010 06:52 PM

Grislygus, I would like nothing better than for you to do a sketch of elx's avatar. :)

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 06:55 PM

no scanners any more. too poor. Also, PHONE

Chojin Jan 10th, 2010 06:56 PM

can't your phone take pics

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 06:59 PM

low resolution pics of my glorious masterpieces?


Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 07:02 PM

i might hop on a computer and mspaint him if i suddenly was made aware of embarrasing body and/or family problems, possibly fake psychological. problems or emotional meltdown diary wentries

Tadao Jan 10th, 2010 07:13 PM

she's supposedly a 13 yo girl :/

elx Jan 10th, 2010 07:13 PM

no gummygrump my dick sucking list is private business

also seventeen as of like a week ago, tyty

Sam Jan 10th, 2010 07:14 PM


Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 07:23 PM




Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 07:32 PM

seriously, though. One particular fat, short redneck kept punching his pussy friends, called us guidos because we didn't want to play pool with him, and tried to fight eight mexican guys because one of their girlfriends had beaten him at pool

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 07:36 PM

another guy apparently thought that he looked scottish, because he came in with a kilt on (well, he thought it was a kilt, it didn't have plaid on it and was therefore a SKIRT), Shiny black shoes and knee-high stockings. He proceeded to dance (badly) with his burnt-out hippie girlfriend until everyone in the bar got up and left

Tadao Jan 10th, 2010 07:46 PM

You down around LA now?

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 07:47 PM

fack, kgp4death seems intent on being a standard-issue cockswabber

Grislygus Jan 10th, 2010 07:49 PM

And yes. Yes, roughly around the area

Pentegarn Jan 10th, 2010 08:05 PM

kgp4death? Is he still around?

Tadao Jan 10th, 2010 08:09 PM

Cool beans, you should meet up with me and my budday at the Candy Cat one day. http://www.thecandycats.com/
These bitches will look smokin' hot if you're F.O.B.

Pentegarn Jan 10th, 2010 08:13 PM

Full Of Beer?

elx Jan 10th, 2010 08:16 PM

fresh off the boat? :o

Tadao Jan 10th, 2010 08:21 PM


Originally Posted by elx (Post 667067)
fresh off the boat? :o


kahljorn Jan 10th, 2010 10:59 PM

dude i think i summoned grislygus back with a well-placed PRIVATE MESSAGE OF LOVE :O: :O:O:O YOU GUYS WANT ME TO BRING ANYBODY ELSE BACK FROM THE DEAD?



bigtimecow Jan 11th, 2010 02:13 AM

how about sports? or fartinmowler?

no just kidding. in reality bring back bubsy :(

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2010 08:27 AM

R.I.P Tony "Ludvig Borga" Halme

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2010 10:27 AM

Pub Lover Jan 11th, 2010 10:37 AM

It is the 12th here and as always I'm going to pretend it is for all of you as well. ;)

Kitsa, I hope it goes well. Good luck to you and yours.

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 10:52 AM

Thanks, Pub. I hope it does too. I figure it'll either happen tomorrow or draw out for 2 more long weeks :(

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2010 11:09 AM

Good luck, Kitsa. :)
When is the expected day of confinment?

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 11th, 2010 11:16 AM

Hope all goes well Kitsa.

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 11:27 AM

Thanks. I think I should have been confined a long time ago. What I've been told is that tomorrow I get some stitches out (the stitches holding the baby in, basically) and it either all happens right then or I get a C section the last week of the month.

When my mother had the stitches holding my brother taken out, she stood up from the table and had him right there. So that oughta be fun :(

Dixie Jan 11th, 2010 12:20 PM

i'm keeping you in my thoughts kitsa!
i hope everything goes well!!!

Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 12:45 PM

Good luck soldier!

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 12:47 PM


Shrubfest Jan 11th, 2010 01:01 PM

Happy baby times. I hope she has your hair and her dad's health.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 11th, 2010 01:54 PM

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 02:02 PM

heh heh heh. Yeah :D

There's definitely a little pink blue jackets jersey in this kid's future.

Also, this:

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2010 02:11 PM


Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 02:14 PM


Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 667174)

Al Stewart's "Year of the Cat"- Good song to play while committing a brutal murder, or best song to play while committing a brutal murder?

I'd rather do it to this song while singing along.

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 02:21 PM

I'd go with this one.

Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 02:22 PM


I'm to tired to start that fire :(

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:24 PM

holy shit, arlo guthrie

FUN FACT: if you open up the youtube link in a second tab and have it play a few seconds behind the embedded video, the dual harmony may trick you into thinking the song is tolerable

Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 02:25 PM


Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:26 PM

Which song do you think RaNkeri would murder to?

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:26 PM

OMIGOD everbuddee post the song they think he would choos

Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 02:29 PM

If we're going with Arlo Guthrie, I'd do this one. It'd be the longest murder ever. And it would have to happen on Thanksgiving.

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:29 PM

HAHA I fuggin got it


Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 02:30 PM

I can see this song driving Finland into a murderous rage.

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:30 PM

The Finnlish people LOVE Bjork

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:31 PM



Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 02:32 PM

You have to use only


not the whole link.

I hate that mellow side of Bjerk. :(

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:32 PM



Kitsa Jan 11th, 2010 02:34 PM

There's no sunshine in Finland, it's a fact.

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:35 PM

SAwllriiiiiight, now what song would Pub kill to?

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:40 PM

I have this vision of him popping up with a purple tophat and tommygun to the sounds of Parliament-Funkadelic


RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2010 02:40 PM


Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 667187)
Which song do you think RaNkeri would murder to?

RaNkeri Jan 11th, 2010 02:40 PM


Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 667191)
I can see this song driving Finland into a murderous rage.


Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:41 PM

And a long wool coat, he's wearing a long blue wool coat

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:43 PM

Holy Shit RanK, that was like a training montage from a Bollywood-funded Croatian knockoff of Rocky

Tadao Jan 11th, 2010 02:46 PM

This is how I see Pub

Grislygus Jan 11th, 2010 02:53 PM

meh, I prefer to think of Homicidal Pub Lover as "Funky Fresh"

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